I 100% Would Have Been Diagnosed With Hysteria Back In The Day

i 100% would have been diagnosed with hysteria back in the day

wee woo wee woo

CW: depression, suicidal ideation

(I’m okay, I’m safe.)

:

Maybe I should go to bed 

I’m thinking about her again and

I’m thinking about all the ways that I fucked everything up in my entire life

The way that I am poison to the environment around me

People me tell me that I’m inspiring

I don’t know what they’re seeing

All I see is the sparks in my eyes fading the more I sit here waiting waiting

Wondering how I still hate myself so much

When I’ve changed every aspect of me

They tell me I’m too self critical

I think I just see myself how I truly am

A nightmare hidden behind bright colors, rainbow flags, and warm smile

The beast hiding behind the smile, my sharp teeth can cut you so easily

And only one person has taken this mask off of me

But even then, I can’t tell you what’s underneath 

I can tell you only some of the darkness that I hold without you ever seeing me cry

(that’s a lie)

I cry so much

Even when the lights in my eyes are fading remember that I love you more than anything

And if I don’t make it to see the morning light, remember that I love you more than anything

If you don’t hear from me, remember that I love you more than anything

These people, this castle, this kingdom, I have built

Remember that I love them more than my bluest days

I’m holding on for them. I can’t say the same for me.

- @pentaclekarkitty

Happy June 14th

— via jitterati

Sorry I displayed symptoms of my health disorder do you still think I’m fun?