Im Just A Little Guy I Dont Deserve To Have The Tummy Hurties:(

i’m just a little guy i don’t deserve to have the tummy hurties:(

Really felt it when the silly singing rat man said "cry like a baby with autism strapped to a ceiling fan"

Ngl as a baby with autism who is currently strapped to a ceiling fan this made me feel quite seen

TW: Self Harm, depression, etc.

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Use your words:

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Chips of me falling like broken teeth

On the inside, every part of me is ripping at the seams

Something is wrong

I don’t know what it is

Is it the way that I feel like I’m dancing on heavens skin when I’m above you

Or how

I feel empty and cold the moment you walk out the door

“People with anxious attachment are never fulfilled”

You can give me all the love you have to offer, but maybe I’ll still never feel like it’s enough

Wounds ripping from childhood onward

I cannot be soothed

My heart is aching

And no amount of self-medicating can make it stop

So when we lie here in my bed, I hold you tight

I wrap my arms around you and I don’t let go until you are physically pushing me off of you

I fall asleep peacefully with my head on your chest

it is when I sleep best

My ice cold body intertwined with your warm

I am the happiest in your arms

I like to poke fun and tease you

But you know where my loyalty lies

I am a mosaic of everyone that I love

Maybe my personality is just stolen bits and pieces of other people

They’ve always told me to live in the world

But not of the world

I always thought this meant to be yourself and not what everyone’s telling you to be

But now I can clearly see it was foretold and prophecy

They want me to be perfect

They wanted me to be just like them

and not like people like me

But I sit here, looking at my arms bleed

I do not know my name

I cannot see my face in the mirror

And I cannot look my mother in the eye

And maybe it is because I am ashamed of myself

Or maybe it is because I’m following the stages of psychology

Trying to find my own identity

This is only step four

It is the longest and hardest step

I still don’t know who I am, but I know that you make me happy

But I am alone

And all of the façades, all of the masks drop to the ground

My body is ice cold

But my heart is on fire

My head is underwater

You wonder why sometimes I struggle to use my words

Because sometimes I am drowning so much

If I speak

I will no longer be able to breathe.

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@pentaclekarkitty

everything is a Will Wood reference, which makes taking chem seriously really difficult.