PSA For My Fellow Wizards

PSA for my fellow wizards

Do not attempt use hydra stem cells as a steroid !

I was experimenting on my homunculus as one does when I had a brilliant idea, since when a Lernean hydra has one of its heads chopped off it grows back two I had the idea of using Hydra stem cells and integrating them within the homunculi muscles.

The idea being that as you work out your muscles receive microscopic damage that would now instantly grow back twice as much

As a result my Homunculus would rapidly become, as the youth might say "yoked or perchance shredded or maybe even Jacked" then through our soul link I too would become large and muscular with little to no effort.

There was however one small problem

I did not account for the idea that the cells would interact badly with the body and be unable to tell what is damage

As a result my Homunculus and through the soul link I too rapidly become a massive mess of hundreds of limbs in a roughly spherical shape filled with bundles of organs.

It was most unpleasant

I had to move my soul into a clone body

Imagine being a sentient robot built with planned obsolescence to force you to buy new body parts 💀

Robot disabilities. Robot who charges slowly and loses power incredibly fast and is always tired. Robot with malfunctioning lenses and can’t process visual information properly. Robot that can’t process anything too large and at a fast rate or else they’ll shut down. Robot with limbs screwed on too loose/just can’t attach correctly, so if they’re not careful they fall out. Robot disabilities,,,

Partying skeletons

They take the G out of Graveyard

Some people wonder why I never invite the Evokers to parties. . . Yes, I do have a problem with the wizards who focus primarily on Evocation.

I mean, if they'd bring something good to drink instead of Fireball every single time, maybe they'd get invited more! WE GET THAT Y'ALL LOVE FIREBALL, BUT THE WHISKEY JUST ISN'T AS ACCEPTABLE AS THE SPELL!

Anyway, I got a bunch of undead to tend to. Quite a lot of 'em need a moment to recover from last night. You know what they say about partying like the dead. . .

Hmmm

I may or may not have seen an evil book in question....

Depends on why you want to know

please citizens of wizard island island this is very important:

Have you seen an evil book by chance?

I knew having Redditors cross-train on Tumblr would produce weird fucking magic.