No Way

No Way

Star Wars Parody

Anakin:

N-n-n-n-n-n-no way

There's no way

You must agree that, Palpy, in all the time I been by your side

I've never lost control, no matter how many times I knew you lied

Had my golden rule

Gotta keep my cool, yeah, Palpy

Ahsoka:

(you know he's gotta keep it cool)

Anakin:

And even though you thought you won

Hoping you would have his soul

Worse, it was my own son

The child of someone who you control

No matter what I heard, I couldn’t say a word

No, Palpy

Ahsoka:

(you know he never said a word)

Anakin:

I've put up with your sh- like every single day

Ahsoka:

(whoa, whoa)

Anakin:

But now it's time to shh, and listen when I say!

You must think that I'm crazy

You wanna replace me, Baby there's

N-n-n-n-n-n-no way

If you think for a moment

I'd grant you annulment, just hold up, there's

N-n-n-n-n-n-no way

No way

No way

There's n-n-n-n-n-n-no way

No way

No way

There's n-n-n-n-n-n-no way

There's no way

So you think this is worse that I'm cursed

'Cause I murdered my wife?

You say it's a pity 'cause becoming a Sith

"I'll end up in myth with no pith all my life"

Well, Impy weren't you there, when she gave birth safely?

Anakin:

(Oh, hi Lele)

Leia:

(Daughters are so easy to forget)

Anakin:

You're just so full of sh-, must think that I'm naive

Ahsoka:

(whoa, whoa)

Anakin:

I won't back down won't shh, and no, I'll never leave!

Anakin:

You must think that I'm crazy

You wanna replace me, Baby, there's

N-n-n-n-n-n-no way

If you thought it'd be funny, to send a gunnery after me, hun, there's

No way

No way

No way

There's n-n-n-n-n-n-no way

No way

No way (no way)

There's n-n-n-n-n-n-no way

There's no way

Hey

Let's go

Here we go!

...

Anakin:

You got me down on my knees

Please tell me what you think I've done wrong

Been humble, been loyal, I've tried to swallow my pride all along

If you can just tell one simple thing

I can do to be good, I'll come

...

No?

You've got nothing to say?

I'm not going away

There's no WAY!!

You must think that I'm crazy

You wanna replace me? Baby, there's

N-n-n-n-n-n-no way

You gave me this strife, so I'll be a Sith 'til the end of my life!!

N-n-n-n-n-n-no way

No way (no way)

No way

Ahsoka:

N-n-n-nup-na-nup-na-nup-na

Anakin:

No way

No way

There's

N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-no way

There's no way

———

Best way to break up with your abusive ex, am I right?

This is part of my Double Traitor AU. Anakin is finally cutting ties with the Empire as he has access to all the info he needs and is helping the fellow rebel fleets defeat Sideous. His final words to the man who literally just tried to recruit his son into ways of the Sith? This fun number 💖

The Cackling General AU

This is 50% inspired by the fact that Mark Hamill plays Joker and 50% because Anakin acting like this makes me happy.

Context:

The Nuhunar Disease: A disease that makes someone laugh uncontrollably at certain things. The trigger changes from person to person.

Inspiration: Arthur from the movie Joker and a short film named ‘Eggplant’

Anakin’s Triggers: Pain, Misery, Slap Stick Comedy, and a lot of sounds

Added Details:

- The 501st are known as the Howling Troopers to show their support to and make their General feel comfortable with his condition

- Obi-Wan used to scold him when he was ‘too loud’ but after a few years with him, he doesn’t care anymore

- Anakin can control his volume to a degree, but not much. If he does, it’s by covering his mouth or something else similar

- When Anakin is on a rampage is when the laughter turns to sheer and utter cackling as he cuts down his foes, hence his title of the Cackling General

- Anakin plays by Joker rules when fighting. Stopped laughing? You’re screwed.

- To make Anakin smile and laugh, his men will basically indulge his love of dark humour. Even Obi-Wan will

- Anakin’s diseased laughter is much higher pitched than his normal real laugh and is a rarity to hear

- The 501 and Anakin have scared the ever loving FORCE out of people with their war cry, which is just the giggling and cackling.

- Once Ahsoka is introduced to Anakin, she is made aware of this very quickly as she watches the Cackling General and the Howling Troopers in action

- Ahsoka was told basics of the disease but not everything about it

- Obi-Wan has adopted the cackling in one way or another as a sign of acceptance of his Padawan

How I, personally, imagine Anakin to sound is basically either Dub!Isaac Foster from Angels of Death or Dub! Hichigo AKA Hollow Ichigo from Bleach.

Originally made on Discord with some help from peeps. If you have any ideas you wanna add, I’d love to see them.

Get Down: SW Parody

Anakin:

Sittin' here all alone

On a throne

In a palace that I happen to own

Bring me some tip-yip

Keep it on the bone.

Fill my goblet up to the brim

Sippin' on ardees and I spill it on my robes

With the gold lace trim

Not very prim and proper

Can't make me stop-

I wanna go hunting, any takers?

I'm not fake 'cause I've got acres and acres

Paid for with stolen riches

Where my Massiffs? Release the bitches!

Rex:

(Woof)

Anakin:

Everyday

Sit back so I can watch them play, yeah

'Cause they obey- ya

And tomorrow, I'll hit replay

You, you said that I tricked ya

'Cause I, I didn't follow Darth Bane’s scripture

Too bad I’ve got no fear

So I'm gonna hang it up so that it’s crystal clear

And i won’t stop here 'cause

I'm the king of the castle

Get down, with all your hassle

Get down

Get down

Get down with all that hassle

Get down

Get down

'Cause I'm the king of the castle.

When I get bored

I go to court

Pull up outside in my speeder

I’m the leader

So I have a little flirt with the footman

He calls me sir-

As you were

Making my way to the dance floor

Some boys making advance

I ignore them

'Cause my jam comes on the juke

No rebuke

There’s no fluke

All eyes on me

No criticism

I look more wiz than

A glowing prism

Dance so hard that I'm causin' a sensation

Okay captain, let's blow this whole station.

You, you said that I tricked ya

'Cause I, I didn't follow Darth Bane’s scripture

Too bad I’ve got no fear

So I'm gonna hang it up so that it’s crystal clear

And i won’t stop here 'cause

I'm the king of the castle

Get down, with all your hassle

Get down

Get down (all that fuckn’ hassle)

Get down

Get down

'Cause I'm the king of the castle

Now I ain't sayin' their bigger,

But dear captain, pull the trigger

Got no chains

Symbolic of my freedom from the Empire

In the fast lane

My throne is ready for me to ascend higher

Let me explain...

I'm a Tatooinian, not some Coru flower

No one tells me I need a rich man

Doing my own thing while destroying Sheev’s plan

Anakin:

You, you said that I tricked ya

Ahsoka:

(Tricked ya)

Anakin:

'Cause I (I), I didn't read the scripture

Rex:

(No no)

Anakin:

Too bad I’ve got no fear

Ahsoka and Rex:

(Too bad he’s got no fear)

So I'm gonna hang it up (hang it up, hang it up) so that it’s crystal clear!

And I can't stop here 'cause

I'm the king of the castle

Get down, with all your hassle

Get down (Yeah, c'mon, ha!)

Get down (Get down with me)

Get down with all this hassle

Get down (It's King Anakin)

(Aha-ha-ha, get)

Get down (Ow!)

'Cause I'm the king of the castle

——————

Hail the new Emperor, Anakin Skywalker. A job he takes JUST to laugh at Palpatine one last time. Still part of the Double Traitor AU.

I had some help with this from a friend on a SW Discord server. They are supes nice!

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Where is the Justice: Loki Parody

{Loki and Odin stood in a meeting room, a few Asgardians council members stood around them as the two royals argued.}

[Loki]

Where is the justice

When the guilty all go free?

Why don't we lock them up

And throw away the key?

[Odin]

I see a young man's anger burning in your eyes

[Loki]

What you see is my impatience

With your noble compromise

Show me what's right about

The wrongs that we allow

Asguardians need to feel

Protected here and now

{Loki turns away from Odin}

This whole damn system’s broken way beyond repair

It's just law not law and order

Not much good and seldom fair

[Council Member A]

Laws are made for everyone

We're treated all the same

[Loki]

Till advocate‘s words can fix the blame

Let our vindications

Make the regulations

And hold no one accountable

When everything goes wrong

Let those who are heinous

Get away with murder

Every time a high-priced

Mouth-piece starts to talk

His patron gets to walk

Tell me, where is the justice?

If there’s any justice

[Loki Supporters]

Where's the justice?

Tell me where!

[Loki]

Where is the justice

[Loki Supporters]

Tell me where!

[Loki]

For all the victims?

[Loki Supports]

Tell me where!

[Loki]

Where is the justice?

What good is law that can’t

Punish those who break it?

[Frigga]

Politicians

Make their speeches all day long

While judges twiddling away

Mostly get it wrong

(Mostly get it wrong!)

{Loki smiled at this mother for having his back}

[Council Member B]

Instead of loopholes

For the laws to fall between

Let some good old-fashioned pay-back

Grease the wheels of a machine

(Grease the wheels of the machine)

[Loki]

Isn't everybody sick to death of all this stuff?

Can't we all stand up and say enough?

(We've had enough)

{Odin was getting mad and slowly stalked towards Loki as the smaller man stood his ground}

(Justice, justice, justice, now's the time for)

[Loki]

Listen to the families

Hiding in their houses (justice, justice)

All of them afraid to walk the streets at night

With all their doors locked tight

We must give them their justice

{Loki is now backing away from Odin as the older man bears an angry face}

[Loki Supporter]

Where is the justice?

[Loki]

We owe them some justice

{Loki falls to his knees}

[Loki Supporter]

Where is the justice?

{Loki looks up at Odin and reaches out to him}

[All]

Where is the justice?

{Loki bows his head as Odin looks away from his son on the floor}