[Anti-Jiraiya, Probably Skip This Post If You're A Fan Of Him]

[Anti-Jiraiya, probably skip this post if you're a fan of him]

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Me, opening up naruto trading cards and seeing one is a UR: Oh fucking hell yeah let's go let's go!! What a win!!

Me, seeing it's Jiraiya: Oh. You.

I actively felt my dopamine levels spike. Then immediately plummet. In half a second.

I am so normal about all the Kirigakure shinobi. Especially the aquatic ones.

Fic where the unjust death of the Uchiha and the subsequent horrific abuse to their bodies via blatant and indiscriminant eye theft results in Konoha being haunted by the spirits of several very angry Uchiha.

"You know... They say that so long as an Uchiha's eyes do not rest in their body, their spirit will never find peace."

When the husk of a woman who used to be Mikoto smiles, there is blood in her teeth.

"What do you think, Elder Danzo?"

Ft.

- Sasuke being repeatedly lured into the woods by the ghosts of his family (and notably, his parents) both bc some want to protect him and some, not powerful enough to retain their sanity in death, wish for him to die so they might take their eyes as their own

- Nara Shikaku, among others in the Hokage's tower, being repeatedly faced with the unsettlingly eyeless ghost of Fugaku as he appears sporadically and attempting to act as if nothing is wrong— always dissapearing when someone questions how he is there (whether he truly seems to keep forgetting that he has died is unclear, but no methods to purge the offices seems able to keep him away for long)

- the spirit of Mikoto taking on a spokesperson role for the dead, as she seems to have been the one to retain the most of herself in death while plagued with the corruptive everything that comes with being a spirit tied to the earth through nefarious means (with Fugaku being a potential second— if he wasn't so busy w convincing himself he hadn't died at all)

- Danzo being haunted by the more mindlessly violent Uchiha ghosts, driven mad in the afterlife at seeing their eyes in his unworthy flesh

- A surprisingly sane Kagami who has Thoughts and Feelings ab Danzo taking his eye— and the mystery of how exactly he had died

- A suddenly the most qualified person to deal with ghosts Kakashi, who's unfortunatley doomed both attract and to be able to see the Uchiha ghosts with his sharingan, and has them breathing down the back of his neck with talk of watching after Sasuke and GETTING REVENGE !!!!!!!!!!!!! which he is legally obligated to do now as the elder ghosts deem his service as their conduit to be his duty, since they gave him a pass on the eye thing. There's a lot of "see I TOLD you it was a good idea to let him keep the eye!! Clearly Amaterasu has left him here for us to use in our darkest of hours"

Aka forcefully adopted by Uchiha ghosts Kakashi who's "adoption" reads a little more like "indentured servitude to the afterlife"

(And he can't help but wonder why he hasn't seen Obito's ghost, after so many years with his eye in his head...

- Itachi being absoloutley hounded by the guilt of what hes done and the spirits of those hes killed, whove left the haunting of Konoha specifically to haunt him (He is not having fun) (The ghost of Shisui is doing his best to ward away the more volatile ones)

And more !!! Potentially, idk. This would be a fun one if I wrote it but I will not. Someone totally should tho , just, not me.

an artist

Dont be very woried about me since i deserve all of this

"Itachi was wrong like every time he recounted a moment in history!" okay his bad for not knowing the specifics of what was going down like 80 years ago.

Poor dude probably got told it by Obito who learned it when he was like 8. 20 years ago or whatever. From Madara who it happened with like 6 decades ago.

Or through a book. You're telling me "Madara stole his younger brothers eyes" isn't some peak Konoha Propaganda logging.

Like. He was wrong don't get me wrong but. How was he supposed to know the founding fathers were going to have a little get together with his brother to be like "No no no. Close, but no."

Anyway. History buff Itachi is true in my heart. It's not his fault the dead literally rose to correct him. And I have a feeling he would have been so interested to know the true accounts anyway.

Fuck. All my problems could be solved by Itachi meeting the past Hokages it has so much potential to be interesting.