Profoundlystrangecrusade - The Potatoes Are Burning - Tumblr Blog

Hi, I record music covers, draw photo-tracings, and write short stories from time to time. If you’re interested, please consider supporting me on my upcoming patreon page. It’ll be the main hub for all of my content. More info to come.

“The way I see it, if you’re gonna make a modern parallel to the DeLorean, why not a car built by an unhinged billionaire who’ll go out of business in a couple years, y’know?”

“Wait a minute, Doc. You built a time machine… out of a Tesla?”

“Wait a minute, Doc. You built a time machine... out of a Tesla?”

A Cordial Diaph-pagram

Has your star sign changed without you even knowing?

Update your Sign:

Capricorn: Jan 20 - Feb 16

Aquarius: Feb 16 – March 11

Pisces: March 11 – April 18

Aries: April 18 – May 13

Taurus: May 13 – June 21

Gemini: June 21 – July 20

Cancer: July 20 – Aug 10

Leo: Aug 10 – Sept 16

Virgo: Sept 16 – Oct 30

Libra: Oct 30 – Nov 23

Scorpio: Nov 23 – Nov 29

Ophiuchus: Nov 29 – Dec 17

Sagittarius: Dec 17 – Jan 20

Assume everyone is dead unless proven otherwise.

Sfw versions of Photo-tracings I do from time to time. If you want to have a pic of yours done in a similar style, I do commissions.

The nsfw versions are carefully tucked away in the dark corners of your mind.

I do not like strawberry and banana pancakes. They stole my wallet and gave it to a walrus choreographer, who then wore it as an ascot. It was quite fashionable, but rude regardless. 

I was served spider sushi once, but only because I felt bad for the chef. The spiders were softer than I had expected, but they provided a nice texture.

Avengers:Infinity War

It’s raining, I can’t sleep, I’m sick.

I want pancakes. And pie.

(I’m not asking for anyone to give me anything, I just want to sound whiny for comedic effect. My gimmick is available in context in its entirety in my Netfilx standup movie: I Want Pancakes And Pie! You see, the desire for pancakes and pie, two non-nutritional dishes which are normally filling and satisfying individually, is a metaphor for the gluttonous nature of capitalism. I explained the joke to you, now you have to laugh! That’s the rules! You can’t say you don’t get it, because I told you what to laugh at! Laugh, you fools! Laugh until you chip a tooth from closing your jaw incorrectly! I wrote these jokes at five in the morning! I did it so you can tell my dedication to make you laugh! I won’t even revise them or test these jokes on an audience. If I wrote jokes at five thirty, that means they are jokes worth telling! Don‘t come to me about not making sense, about rambling deliriously due to sleep deprivation. Charlie The Unibrow says these jokes are fantastic and I will go down in history for these jokes! Don’t tell me there are no jokes to be found! Do I have to drag your eyes back over to them? Do I have to press your nose against it like a dog? Charlie believes in me! Charlie won’t lead me astray! Charlie laughs like a dewey spring morning. I hear his laughter, but I don’t see him. Where is he this time?)

“Bonjour, mein Freund, cómo estás?”

“Très bon, sehr gut, muy bien, grazie! Und tu?

1915’s Birth of a Nation is cinema’s Original Sin.

Working with writing partners never does go the way you dream it would.

Sandman: The Kindly Ones
This moment just popped into my head, even though I must have read it about two years ago. The panel doesn’t quite say much without the context, but even here, there is something about this presence of resignation that I find particularly moving.

There comes a point in every person’s life where we will lose more friends than we gain. Even the people we cherish the most in our lives will be gone, whether by distance, death, or estrangement.

While we expect this moment to happen in the far off future, the truth is that old age isn’t really a factor; this moment can happen to anyone at any time. Perhaps it has happened to you already, and you will soon die alone.

Happy Father Ted Day

Down with this sort of thing.

I didn't expect this to be relevant again.

“I like Brutus. I think he’s an honorable guy. You know a lot of people don’t feel that way. People come up to me and say, "this Brutus guy is a mess. He killed Caesar.” Caesar, by the way, that’s the guy that didn’t want to be king. I was there in March of 44, and I watched all the Romans cheering when he turned down that crown. It was a yuuge deal, okay? Classy guy… But Brutus says he was ambitious, and Brutus is an honorable man. Still, it’s a sad day with Caesar dead. Tragedy. It’s gonna be hard to keep our country winning without him, but we need to, people. We need to make Rome great again.“

The worst thing about having a Star fleet, is having to compensate for relativity all the time. One minute an away team gives an update to the starship up in orbit that all is well, the next minute the team finds everyone in the ship is twenty years older because they waited too long to beam up.

The same goes on a macro scale when Starfleet Command has to keep in touch with thousands of different crafts flying throughout the galaxy, each encountering a unique gravity well which warps time and space around them at different rates.

In addition to this, even if communications operate faster than light, there are still notable delays between sending and receiving messages. On a good day, it can take a couple hours to a get a response regarding your request to enter the Neutral Zone. Combine that delay with the possibility of orbiting a planet where everything moves super-slow?

It’s a wonder half the fleet isn’t dead by the second episode.

I sabotage every chance for people to like me.

Most aviation experts agree that all dogs are perfectly aerodynamic and they have enough basic equipment that they should be able to fly, but no one is sure why they don't.

Here's something you probably already know. You know those times in your dreams when you try to run, but you don't get very far? That's because your brain can't replicate the feeling of acceleration when you run in real life. So, your brain tries to consolidate, reasoning that you can't get that rushing feeling because you're not going very fast. Struggling to run harder only exacerbates the disconnect.