" .. I Think It's Dead, Boss "

" .. I think It's dead, boss━ "

💀 — [ he pulls the world's most charred pizza out of the oven, ]

" MAGMA MIA! "

I want you plain. I want you bragging. I want you naked as a tongue without a word. I want you laughing. I want you joy. I want you wonder & wonderful. The hips on every guitar. Copper tambourines scoring your laughter. Don’t ever learn how to stop laughing. Laugh when you shouldn’t. I like that laughing best. I want you miracle. I want you possible & foolish.

— Rachel Eliza Griffiths, from “Paradise,” Seeing the Body

☕ (My Harry & your Kim)

Send me “ ☕ “ for my muse to drink tea uniquely flavored after your muse, and I’ll tell you what my muse tastes! // accepting!

When the thermos is passed, Kim is dubiously hesitant to sip its contents. Glances spared into the dark metal container where a thousand tiny lights reflect back up at him off the angles of glitter that seem to consume the liquid, bouncing off the sharp lines of his glasses, highlighting the ridges of his face; cheekbone meeting upper-eye meeting the crease of his nose between. He questions, and the answer he receives is likely as inane but incredulously trustworthy ━ which is to say, only Kim would trust it ━ and he is prodded to drink. A sigh, a murmuring of If you're trying to poison me, at least have an alibi… before it's raised like a chalice to the lips and, tentatively, he drinks.

He swears the glitter clogs his through the moment he does, and he chokes. ( although, the choking may not all be from the glitter. ) Like congealed blood, glitter clinging, he can feel the pieces cut micro-ribbons of flesh down his esophagus as it slides down in a wet mass, leaving behind it a terrible feeling of glitter lining the space between his lungs down, down, down. The taste is indescribable ━ sharp and salty and sweet and bitter and tangy all at once, apricots and rotten fruit and alcohol, the taste of sweat and iron and cinnamon, unpleasantly cold at first which becomes kinder as it soothes the roughness of the throat's wounds before the heat hits the way habanero in coffee does. like dark chocolate, like stale cake frosting, like pleasantly unpleasant soreness, sweet-sour wine, cloying cheap children's medicine, nausea-inducing cigarette smoke.

Indescribable the way cubic measurements of atmosphere containing updraft are indescribable, not indescribable the way metrics too large and too small become nothing. indescribable like space, like music, like sea.

Like God, he thinks, like Innocence. he corrects; Like God. Like Pale. Innocence is a dead language they've been trying to read, and neither of them, neither of them, were born enough to be that again. But maybe they were, once. Like Pale. Like dreaming. Like oblivion. ( Apricots still linger in it like fruit floating on saltwater, fermenting on waves, cracked wide as geodes and spilling guts, spilling light. Beneath it is an oil spill 300 kilometers long from a model of motor carriage that has not been made since the day he was born, mingling, separate, beneath, above. Like tainting it, like swallowing it whole, like becoming more by virtue of what he gives, by no virtue at all. ) Like God, he thinks, like Innocence.

Kitsuragi's composure returns to him, and with the embarrassment of a freshman being handed a drink he couldn't handle, he screws the thermos shut again, and passes it back with the more guttural-than-usual sound of clearing his throat. He pulls off a glove and swipes the flesh of a hand over his mouth, bottom lip coated in the shine of something like lip-gloss beneath the chunky square glitter clinging to it. Stubbornly, pieces remain regardless of how hard he scrubs it away, caught in the cracks between lips, before he sighs, slips a glove back on, and resolves to chew on the skin for the rest of the day, if only to hide it, until he can attempt to better extract it somewhat mournfully with the bristles of a toothbrush. A small part of him asks him to let it stay, and the rest of him refuses. A moments consideration, but little else ━ at least for now, anyway, at least for now.

As the flavor lingers on his tongue like an unwelcome guest, progressively, it shifts. never does it lose the sharpened edges, the quality of chaos, the almost fermented kind of age & simultaneous unblended freshness to it, all mixed together and separate all at once, but over time it mellows, perhaps, or maybe Kim just gets used to it. the acidic highs mesh better with the taste of artificial fruit and the heat lends itself as he considers it to the taste of cheap coffee and dark chocolate. grape sugar with the salt and bitter not better but a different taste than they would be alone, iron manageable with the undertone of something other than the blood ━ maybe it becomes more palatable the longer its in his mouth, accustomed like an acquired taste king of all acquired tastes, or maybe it just burns itself out the longer it's left to mix with something other than itself. Saliva like a neutralizer to however many medications he can feel, chalky, on the underside of his tongue.

The heat subsides and the bitterness erodes, slowly and fast all at once, and a smoother kind of flavor emerges from beneath all of it. soft lime and distant haze of honey and a kind of watered down cocktail, no longer sharp with alcohol, but cold anyway. like something hidden, like something suffocated, like something that couldn't afford to come out unless it knew, really knew, it wasn't going to be rejected. the craze of the rest does not die, but the aftertaste offers a different kind of kindness, like hangover medication after a bad night. charcoal pill, cool water, dimmed lights. ( acts of love, acts of not wanting to see someone dear in pain, acts of staying with them; staying with them; regardless of how wretched they were the night before. people cant get that sad, she said to you once, or you thought she did, but people will love you enough to kneel at your bedside and hold your sweaty hand and close the blinds so the world can't see you for just a little while more. people will love you and be loved and try to save you, and maybe you cannot be saved, no one can, there is no messiah waiting at the foot of your bed to cure you, the world just doesn't work like that, and you can't keep waiting for it, but people will love you enough to wash the stains out from your favorite shirt so you can keep it a little longer.

people who bring cold cloths when you are sick and sweet coffee when you need something to keep you warm, people who can't save you but can in the same strokes; where it's not saving you, it's giving you the means to save yourself. people who work you through it as you lift the stones you're building castles out of, hoping, praying that you don't smash them down again. people who stand proud for you at the checkmarks in the road, and tell you that you're doing good, and wait for you when you can't keep running, or even when you turn back and decide it's easier to give up than to sink in deeper. people you've treated bad before, and cannot stay forever, and cannot save you, but they love you enough to stay a little longer. they love you enough to hold you when you need it, and hold you down when you need that too, and make the hard calls you'll hate them for. they love you hard enough that it turns into hate when it's fed the wrong things, giving dogs chocolate, but they love you, love you, love you. )

it soothes pain of his throat, and Kim does not concede to the fact he finds himself wanting another sip, another shot of chaos and that sweeter smoother aftertaste, knowing what he's putting in his body and deciding to come back anyway, wondering, but he admits; quietly to himself as he holds the pieces of glitter in his hands like the shed skin of a disco ball in his little bathroom in the Whirling that night; that maybe the pain is worth the reward. that maybe he's crazy, but maybe they both need a little sanity, a little less, a little something else.

( kneeling at your bedside when you are too afraid to sleep, he traces the scars nickering your hands, and cleans his glasses, and slowly; slowly; the apricots stop mattering. as you notice a little more how the oil spill gleams on the crest of waves, as the oil spill becomes something different. )

-100 HP. +660 HP.

This is still the prettiest thing I've ever written

♡ // for Yusuke and Akechi~ c;

Send me a ♡ plus a ship and I'll tell you... // always accepting!

WHO ASKED WHO OUT FIRST? ━ Honestly? it depends! Akechi is very much someone to take initiative and roles of leadership in many areas, personal included, but he's also EXTREMELY adverse to Fully allowing himself to break the distance he always puts between himself and others & as a result allow them to Know him beneath the masks he wears and the way he Wishes to be presented and the way he Is in a very genuine, raw sense. he is raw meat when you remove the skin and as much as it's honest, it's also sometimes ugly, sometimes it's volatile. he doesn't want to tie himself to someone who becomes an obligation he must mask himself to rather than an individual he's forged a connection with and can drop that false disposition, even slightly, with. He doesn't expect to be able to fully, and frankly I don't know if that's more Yusuke or Akechi restraining himself, but even slightly is something unparalleled to him. Akechi has more than enough nerve and articulation but it depends on how Yusuke responds for him to use any of it and lower himself from the distance he tries to keep to meet him on truly equal footing.

it'd also take Akechi coming to terms of an admission of his sexuality and therefore offering a direct 'crack' in his facade that, while maybe not major to others as individuals who are meant to be considered his friends ( and most of them probably Also queer, even if canon doesn't Say as much ) and the fact sexualities can change and often do over time, IS major to Akechi who often labels himself ━ knowingly incorrect ━ as straight to appear what is Expected of him in every avenue. 'appealing' isn't the right word, too sickly sweet of a term for this, but it's the closest I can think of when Akechi's domain is dominated by namely older individuals and a social norm based in homophobia where you are simply expected to be straight and if you are not it is expected to be secret, you as a person and you on the screen as two different people who should never clash and hell breaks loose when someone finds something they shouldn't and it does.

even in instances of this world where this Isn't true and Japan is much more accepting or where homophobia is just simply ignored, Akechi will always feel as though he must be either private ( always fun, always coy, always 'can you figure me out?' more than an actual right to his own secrets, always like a game he's playing with the audience that isn't one at all ) or performative, and the concept of directly admitting the contrary to someone, even unspoken, is difficult and daunting for him. Akechi wants to appear the 'nicest' option to those in his field and his fans, but part of this is also the fear of information being used against him. the question is ━ do i trust Yusuke enough to keep my secrets even when i want this? i may love him, but is it worth breaking the act for? breaking character? how much does this person mean to me, and is it enough? love and trust are two separate ideas, levels, 'love' being a foreign concept to him, and he must ask if they are cause enough to risk his person for. if he decides that 'yes, it's enough', then the decision, the asking is a quiet one, but one that cannot be stopped. Akechi has always been a stubborn, dedicated person when he sets his mind to something he so deeply believes as truth. Yusuke, on the other-hand, i think could be much more direct about it! after THREE PARAGRAPHS of me writing about how fucking complicated it'd be for Akechi where a solid 99% of it is ENTIRELY internal and HALF subconscious!!!!! Yusuke feels to me as a very withdrawn quiet character in a way, shy, which would probably make it harder but he feels as though he could ask much faster than Akechi could. Akechi takes months upon months of small moments reaffirming trust and reinstating a belief that Yusuke is worth this trust where he whittles down the distance despite how uncomfortable it makes him, and while I don't know what Yusuke could take, Yusuke always struck me as a honest, if romantic person. he doesn't need less, but I think he might trust Akechi more. the thought more approachable; he does, of course, perhaps have less to lose WHO WENT IN FOR THE FIRST KISS? ━ AKECHI. honestly it's extremely likely and i wouldn't be shocked at all if THIS was how Akechi wound up 'confessing' or 'asking Yusuke out'. Akechi is a very thoughtful, complicated individual but he's also very impulsive at times and while he has SO much strategy in Everything he does, he flips between intense self━restraint and intense, overwhelming, impulsiveness and sometimes, a lot of the time honestly especially where the metaverse is involved ( and Yusuke as a result since! well! he's part of the fucken phantom thieves! ) that side of him wins. in particular, I like to think it happened somewhere secluded at perhaps a holiday party when one of them stepped away, potentially Akechi, and the other found them, or late in the evening after a long night of spending time together; perhaps initially with the entire group before everyone went home and it was left as just the two of them, going home, the subway station almost ghost-like with them as the only people left there at such an hour, and either of how those quiet moments can invoke such a sense of disregard to caution when there is nothing left but conversation and opportunity, waiting to be taken to see what happens. AAAND that's as far as I can go without Tunglr LITERALLY refusing to post the damn thing so WOE google doc in the source it is

FOR THE “YOU CAN KILL ME BUT DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH THEM” DYNAMICS 

❝  i only want you.  ❞

❝  i don’t need anyone else.  i just…you.  you’re all i need.  ❞

❝  listen,  i’ve lost a lot of people in my life.  i learned how to deal with it but…you’re different.  i can’t take it if it’s you.  ❞

❝  i think about anything happening to you and i— i just.  i fucking lose it.  ❞

❝  you don’t understand.  i need you safe.  not because i don’t think you can handle yourself but because i can’t focus on anything else if there’s even the smallest possibility you’re in danger.  ❞

❝  no one is ever gonna get near you again,  you hear me?  ❞

❝  i won’t let you get hurt.  i promise.  and i don’t make empty promises.  ❞

❝  turn around.  you don’t need to see this part.  ❞

❝  just give the word and i’ll kill every one of them.  ❞

❝  you can’t get all worked up every time something happens to me.  that’s just life.  you’re not always gonna be able to protect me from it.  ❞

❝  no one else understands me.  but you do.  you always do.  ❞

❝  i don’t think i’m the best person for you,  i don’t.  but i do know i’m the one that can keep you safe  ❞

❝  hey—  look at me.  it’s over.  it’s done.  we’re okay.  ❞

❝  who the fuck made you cry i’ll fucking rip their head off.  ❞ 

❝  i know you’ve always got my back.  ❞

❝  please,  let me take care of you this time.  you’re always protecting me but it tears me up inside every time you get hurt because of it.  ❞

❝  can you make everyone else just go away?  i know they mean well but i just want to be alone—  alone with you i mean.  ❞

❝  i know when you’re here,  the real monsters can’t touch me.  ❞

❝   oh,  i am one of the monsters.  but that just means i can keep all the other monsters from ever hurting you again. ❞ 

❝  if you’re gonna keep risking your life for me than you’re also gonna let me patch you up without a single complaint.  ❞

❝  we keep each other safe.  it’s my turn to protect you.  ❞

❝  i killed them for you.  i know you could’ve done it yourself,  but you shouldn’t have to.  ❞

❝   i love you because i know how capable you are.  and i show that love by making sure you don’t have to be the one to always do the hard things.  ❞

❝   i’m gonna make them regret ever even thinking about laying a hand on you.  ❞

❝  tell me what you want me to do.  i’ll do it.  whatever you want.  ❞

❝  i love you just like this.  i love you when you touch me gently like no one else ever has.  and i love you when your hands are bloody and your knuckles are bruised. ❞

❝  please,  just let me protect you.  ❞

❝  are you hurt?  did they hurt you?  ❞

❝  wait,  stop you’re bleeding.  ❞

❝  did you just wince?  where are you hurt?  ❞

❝  i need you in my life.  i’m not used to that—  needing people.  but i do need you.  ❞

❝  you make me feel things i’m not used to feeling.  ❞

❝  why do you let me close when you’re always driving everyone else away?  ❞

❝   you’re mine.  and i protect what’s mine.  ❞

❝  thank you for always being here for me.  ❞

❝  you see things in me that i didn’t even know where there.  ❞

❝  that’s enough.  let’s go home.  ❞

❝  i’m okay now.  i’m safe.  you don’t have to be angry anymore.  ❞

❝  please stop—  this is scaring me. ❞

❝  you don’t have to do this for me.  ❞

❝   hey stop— stop!  look at me.  they’re dead now.  you can stop.  ❞

❝  i have to make an example outta them so no one else tries to hurt you again.  ❞

❝  killing for you is easy.  it’s right.  it feels natural.  ❞

❝  let me do this for you.  ❞

SCENARIOS

[ ONE ]  for sender to take a bullet for receiver. 

[ TWO ]  for receiver to take a bullet for sender. 

[ THREE ]  for sender to protect receiver and then carry them to safety. 

[ FOUR ]  for receiver to protect sender and then carry them to safety. 

[ FIVE ]  for sender to witness receiver get hurt which sends them into a violent rage.

[ SIX ]  for receiver to witness sender get hurt which sends them into a violent rage. 

[ SEVEN ]  for sender to be hurt trying to protect receiver which makes them bloodthirsty for revenge.

[ EIGHT ]   for receiver to be hurt trying to protect sender which makes them bloodthirsty for revenge.

[ NINE ]  for sender to have violently protected receiver,  so receiver kisses them to calm them down. 

[ TEN ]  for receiver to have violently protected sender,  so sender kisses them to calm them down. 

[ ELEVEN ]  for sender to carefully approach receiver in the aftermath,  gently touching them to try and bring them back to themselves. 

[ TWELVE ]  for receiver to carefully approach sender in the aftermath,  gently touching them to try and bring them back to themselves. 

[ THIRTEEN ]  sender was kidnapped,  receiver shows up to save them.  

[ FOURTEEN ]  receiver was kidnapped,  sender shows up to save them.  

[ FIFTEEN ]  sender executes a third party in front of receiver because that person hurt them. 

[ SIXTEEN ]  receiver executes a third party in front of sender because that person hurt them. 

[ SEVENTEEN ]  sender thinks they’re alone but receiver comes out of nowhere to rescue them from someone who intends to do harm/making them uncomfortable. 

[ EIGHTEEN ]   receiver thinks they’re alone but sender comes out of nowhere to rescue them from someone who intends to do harm/making them uncomfortable. 

[ NINETEEN ]  sender has been devastated by something.  receiver holds them until they calm down so they don’t do anything drastic. 

[ TWENTY ]  receiver has been devastated by something.  sender holds them until they calm down so they don’t do anything drastic. 

[ TWENTY-ONE ]  sender thought receiver died so they set out to get revenge.  receiver shows up in time to stand in front of them before they go too far.  

[ TWENTY-TWO ]  receiver thought sender died so they set out to get revenge.  sender shows up in time to stand in front of them before they go too far. 

[ TWENTY-THREE ]  sender is in a vengeful rage because of something that happened to receiver.  receiver gently approaches to calm them down saying this isn’t what they want. 

[ TWENTY-FOUR ]  receiver is in a vengeful rage because of something that happened to sender.  sender gently approaches to calm them down saying this isn’t what they want. 

[ TWENTY-FIVE ]  for sender to have receiver stand by somewhere safe where they can watch sender kill on their behalf. 

[ TWENTY-SIX ]  for receiver to have sender stand by somewhere safe where they can watch receiver kill on their behalf.