So ... They Put Him In A Dress Uniform. Then They Put Him In A Green Hat. Then They Made Him A Cowboy.

So ... they put him in a dress uniform. Then they put him in a green hat. Then they made him a cowboy. Then they put him in a suit.

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING NAYLOR, YOU CAN'T FOOL ME!

My muse has forsaken me, I am talentless, bereft, useless!

You have kudos!

I AM ALIVE!

Who'd be interested in reading random drabbles? I'm thinking Sephy's diary from when she first woke up on Red Dwarf, or maybe Timeslide Sephy's diary?

Yes, I know I should be writing Dimension Jump but honestly, I'm feeling the pressure.

I don't know why I love it so much when someone calls Lister David, but I do. We should do it more often.

Wonderful as usual darling. ❤️

Smegtober- Day 11 (Jelousy)

“A touch-T,” Howard practically purred, his smile off putting to Rimmer as he watched him practically plead for Lister's touch. Benign as his intentions were outwardly, Rimmer wasn't an idiot; he knew Howard. He also knew Lister just as well. Lister eventually clutched Howard's head in his hands…

Even then, Rimmer felt sick. His brother's lustful smirk, eyes roaming over his bunkmate’s body in that tight elasticated jumpsuit. Taking his chance, Rimmer pried his brother away from the liverpudlian, his ears practically ringing when he suggested Lister try again.

A wave of relief washed over the younger Rimmer as he convinced his brother to accept a tour, though the thought of Howard's hungry gaze still made him nauseous. 

“What's the matter, Arnie?” Howard spat as he asked, naturally smug.

“You know what, ‘Howie’,” Rimmer hissed in return, “the way you're drooling over David. It's disgusting.” 

Howard let out a chuckle, “Am I sensing jealousy, brother? Am I a threat?”

“Not at all,” Rimmer scoffed, albeit unconvincingly, “I have no interest in men.” 

Howard squawked, a nasally laugh, “Aww, little brother,” he pinched his cheek, “you really aren't fooling anybody.” 

Scowling, Rimmer felt his blood run cold, pushing his brother back and huffing as he abandoned Howard and Crawford, storming back to the drive room. Lister ,still stood with his phone pressed to his ear, leaning over the top of a control panel, lips pursed, turned to face him ipon his entrance, concerned.

“Hey, Rimmer, man,” he lowered the phone, already noticing the hologram's blotchy cheeks and watery eyes, “What happened?”

Frustrated, Rimmer rubbed his face, “Nothing,” he growled, defensive. 

Lister wasn't stupid…

Footsteps echoed as The stimulant and other hologram approached; Sparks went off in Lister's mind, a beautifully evil idea, perfect as it was sinister.

He cupped Arnold's cheek and gushed dramatically, “Oh, Arnie.”

The hologram met his eyes with confusion; Lister pulled him into a kiss, groaning over-enthusiastically as Howard strutted in, smugness draining from his features at the sight. His eyes span. A resentment jam.

Grinning like he had won a prize, the human pulled away, proud of his work, “That'll show the smegger.” 

Holy shit I feel famous!

Do you think the costume designers ever looked at that hat and said, this is the one, add an antennae and people will go fucking feral?

What was that antenna on his hat for? I did wonder if it was something to do with transmitting his hologram off Red Dwarf