Lord Erkon Madstein Is Dr. Erkons Equivalent From The Past In A Parallel Timeline Where Erkon Was Born

Lord Erkon Madstein is Dr. Erkon’s equivalent from the past in a parallel timeline where Erkon was born during the Victorian period. Hence, while Dr. Erkon is more of a stereotypical 20-21st century mad scientist (Bond/Comic book villains, etc), Lord Erkon is a stereotypical 19th century monster mash mad scientist.

Lord Erkon uses a time machine to travel to the present day. However, he can only do this when the veil between the world of the living and the world of the spooky is the thinnest. While this isn’t necessarily during the witching hour or the day of the dead, it does have to be within the same three to four week time period, i.e. he’s only around during Spooky Month.

He uses his tremendous idle wealth to fund his exploration of science and perversions of nature. He technically does not actually have a doctorate, but neither did Frankenstein, so who cares? Science wasn’t that hard back then.

His greatest scientific achievements include discovering climate change but then realizing it had already been discovered several years prior (we've known about that for a long time), inventing a time machine but getting the patent stolen, inventing an invisibility elixir but getting the patent stolen, inventing galvanic resurrection but getting the patent stolen, and inventing a death ray but that patent somehow got stolen by Thomas Edison. Lord Erkon also tried to steal the patent for an elixir that transforms you into a monster of your own dark desires but when he used it it didn't change anything.

He's not technically a "mad" or "evil" scientist, he is just a confident and slightly autistic bisexual who has the misfortune of living in the Victorian era.

Humans are the only species whose females have enlarged breasts their whole lives after puberty.

As anyone with large boobies will attest, massive fuckin’ titties are kinda inconvenient. Especially before the invention of fitted bras able to contain the power of your super stuffed up milkies. Also they get cancer a lot of the time.

So, it seems kinda weird to evolve massive honger donger, doinky boinkies, right? Why aren’t human women flat chested? Why evolve to be attracted to them?

You might think that we evolved bazongas because its a sign to men that the women can feed their baby. And you would be wrong! It turns out boobs evolved for an entirely different and much funnier reason.

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the superhero just did that thing where they caused my evil facility to self destruct then begrudgingly saved me and carried me to safety 😳😳😳

"It all began on the day of my actual birth. My whole family was there! How thoughtful!"

This shark evolved to have two mouths. 

That’s right, Slifer the Sky Dragon’s silly looking double mouths are totally scientifically accurate. Based on limited archeological evidence of a long extinct weirdo shark. Oh yeah, and it was roughly 2 meters (6'7") long. So that's fun.

Metopacanthus granulatus is a Chimaera, a group of cartilaginous fish distantly related to sharks and rays. Unlike a shark’s rows of teeth, chimaeras have very distinctive mouths with just a few beak-like tooth plates. So maybe the second mouth evolved to be better at catching fish than what the true mouth would be capable of? I guess? Why not just change the main mouth? I want whatever evolution was smoking when it made this.

The "teeth" of the secondary mouth thingy (I don't even know what to call it) are actually just modified dermal denticles, which are the shark equivalent of scales. But shark denticles are made of tooth enamel instead of keratin. So modifying them into teeth is pretty straight forward. In fact, all teeth likely evolved from modified denticles or scales. Its secondary mouth thingy is so primitive and simplistic that the very first jaws (pun unintended) to ever evolve probably looked a lot like it.

Anyways, I think a trap door leading to a tank of these guys would be a great addition to any laboratory's decor. That's twice the biting action for half as many sharks!

Here are my sources. Unfortunately all the good papers for the extinct Metopacanthus granulatus are in German, so beyond the knowledge of mortal men. If anyone has a translation of the primary German papers on the topic, or is able and willing to translate it, I would be interested in seeing that.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metopacanthus#cite_note-2

https://palaeopedia.tumblr.com/post/155290637858/the-metopacanthus-1837-phylum-chordata-class

http://palaeos.com/vertebrates/bones/dermal/mandibular-dentary.html

the superhero just did that thing where they caused my evil facility to self destruct then begrudgingly saved me and carried me to safety 😳😳😳