Naked Sperm Plants

Naked Sperm Plants

Gymnosperms are weird.

The thing all gymnosperms have in common, and that separates them from their much more successful rival cousin group the angiosperms (flowering plants) is that they have seeds without a seed coat. That’s literally what "gymnosperm" means.

Sperm means "seed" or whatever. And the Greek root gymn- means "naked". Because in ancient Greece the gymnasium was a place where manly men would go to work out, make gains, be naked, wrestle, hang out with the boys and appreciate each other’s gains. While naked. Together. Y’know… Man stuff. For men.

Gymnosperms include pine trees, cycads (which look like giant half-buried pineapples with a single giant pinecone/flower thing coming out the top), gnetums (look like normal leafy plant vines), ephedras (weird stick shrubs with no leaves), the welwitschia(an immortal desert plant that grows exactly two blade leaves endlessly until it’s just a tangled pile of leaf), and the gingko (a single species of tree that paradoxically hasn't gone extinct for 299million years despite being completely unadapted to any existing ecosystem and also makes vomit "berries") So you see, all the Gymnosperms are freaking weird.

I mentioned ginkgo “berries” in scare quotes because these aren’t actually berries. They’re not even fruits. It’s actually just the seed but with a fruit-like fleshy seed coat bit around it. Remember how I said that gymnosperms by definition don’t have seed coats? Yeah, the ginkgo has one of those despite being a gymnosperm; taxonomy is a folly of man’s hubris.

i like how whenever i make a joke about how biologists can't do math (comedic overexaggeration) all the replies are evenly divided between

1. nonbiologists (who don't realize I am a biologist) whiteknighting biology by nonbiologistsplaining how biologists can do math actually because stats

2. biologists laughing about how it's true and math is the bane of their existence

im not supposed to math, im just a bio, im supposed to be stamp collecting and observing flatworms, not verifying that my hypothesis is statistically significant with data and models

Scientist Stereotypes (For Biologists)

Marine Biologist: Would surely wither and perish without the sustenance provided by constant blåhaj ownership.

Microbiologist: has only ever touched grass once, by accident (they were collecting microbe samples)

Paleontologist: Someone gave this 8 year old a PhD and also made them into an adult with anxiety! Who would do such a thing???

Geneticist: Still uses Windows Vista, best case scenario.

Immunologist: Lost all their money to their crippling addiction of commissioning furry art. Currently on a new age spirit journey scraping together their tattered remains of a soul (unrelated)

Physician: Guides others to a treasure they cannot possess; any semblance of physical or mental health

Entomologist: has that 'tism where they're easily distracted by bugs like a dog by squirrels

Field Biologist: Went on sabbatical to the Amazon and contracted 59 novel parasites, they all died of fear, immediately took a vacation to Antarctica and single handedly invented a species of penguin. Documented that the Glob Sloth literally doesn’t do anything interesting ever by watching one for 9 years straight while surviving off only dust particles and undergrad tears. Then held a wake for bestboy Blue Eyes White Toad after he was tragically killed off during the mating season arc of the soap opera they imagine all the wild animals are in.

Relationship Goals

The Antivillain: "You know, if things were different, you could have been my valentine, you and I. Can things be different now?" *gives the Antihero a Valentine's Day card*

The Tsunyandere Antihero: *blushes fiercely, then shoots Antivillain in the knee before running away* 

(next day)

The Antihero; “D-don’t think I like you, or anything! Baka!” *gives the Antivillain a box of chocolates*

The Antivillain; 😳 *opens box*

Live Grenade Hidden Inside Box: *explodes*

Fun fact cats have tiny microscopic hooks on their tongues that are the same length as the compressibility of their fur allowing them to keep their coats very clean and odorless without soap or whatever. This fact was only discovered because someone noticed this exact phenomenon here with a cat getting their tongue stuck to a microfiber cloth like Velcro and decided to look at their tongue under a microscope. Before it was thought cat tongues were just like sandpaper

ive noticed that lately i can just post basically anything and it will get like 12 notes guaranteed and it's always the same 12 people and I just wanted to say i Iove you in a gay way