Im Not Dyslexic, But I Swear I Just Had The Biggest Dyslexic Moment Of My Life!

I’m not dyslexic, but I swear I just had the biggest dyslexic moment of my life!

We have a cooler, like a Starbucks cooler in the house. Been there for years, I noticed that one of the trays are missing……

I sit there and I’m like: “I swear something is missing…..the platform? Stand? Thingy? White thingy??”

My dad in the corner: “What are you talking about?”

Me: “the thingy the things sit on?”

Me now noticing the missing tray, Dad: “you mean the counter top?”

Me: “YES, wait no, the thing!”

Dad: “the bar stool??”

Me: “YEESSss……wait? Noooo, it’s the, the, the thingy….the thingy!! *points aggressively at the tray sitting on the bar stool*”

Dad: “🤨 the Tray?”

Me: “YESSS THAT, the tray, that’s what I was trying to say!”

Dad: 🤨🙃😐

“In a world where women ruled the countries and princes were married off to powerful princesses, there lived a beautiful prince. Taehyung, son of the Queen of the Snow Isles and with a heart too curious for his own good. As tradition demands, come his second decade on this earth he had to leave his home and marry a princess of a far away country. 

Now waiting on his marriage bed, wearing nothing but a golden veil and a silken dress, he can’t help but feel nervous. Will his first night with his wife be as horrible as his fellow princes told him it would be?”

Pairing: Prince!Taehyung x Princess!Reader

Genre: Royalty!AU, Arranged Marriage!AU, Wedding Night!AU, Smut, Romance, Fluff, soft Angst

Warnings: reversed gender roles where women are in charge and men follow their rules, virgin!Taehyung, sub!Taehyung, dom!Reader, a little bit of crossdressing, use of warm oils to massage each others bodies, body worship, a lil bit of examination play, handjob, prostate massage, vaginal fingering, unprotected penetrative sex, multiple orgasms (m.recieving), although they don’t know each other very well they are still very fond of each other, Taehyung is really nervous and the OC is very gentle with him, idk is this GFD with a sprinkle of spice? yeah it is, this is 100% self indulgent lmao

Wordcount: 12.2k

a/n: Inspired by this fanart, someone sent me. They didn’t know what they would do with it, but here we are. Screaming in horny, as this was not supposed to escalate to such lengths. I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it! 💜

~ Go to Index ~

There was a world once, where women were the ones in power and men were the ones following their every word. The lands, each prosperous and beautiful, were thriving under the rule of their Queens. The people were happy, they had food and conflicts were solved with words and witty knowledge. Peace was all-worldly and laughter was plenty.

Taehyung had reached his twentieth year on this world three months ago. His mother, the Queen the Snow Isles, held a grandiose fete for her favourite son. The plates were never empty and the iron mugs were spilling over with hearty ale. Taehyung loved that night. He danced with his brothers and laughed with his sisters, he hugged his friends and joked with his servants. It was a great night, even though it meant come tomorrow he would have to leave home for his new life.

Marriage.

Just as tradition demanded, come his second decade on this earth, he had to be married off to a powerful princess. Many of his fellow princes dreaded their twentieth birthday and while Taehyung most definitely was scared of what may lie ahead for him, he was also excited. He had always had a curious soul and he looked forward to seeing the world outside his dark castle walls and long, cold winters. So come the first ray of the new day, Taehyung found himself on one of the ships of his Queendom, sailing away from home and watching the islands of his childhood become smaller and smaller on the horizon until they disappeared behind dreary fog.

The journey to his new home was long. Twelve nights on sea and seventy-eight nights on land. Taehyung found himself missing his home more often than once. He had his best friend and his servant boy with him, Jimin, he managed to make the long journey not as lonely. But it was still a long and exhausting journey.

On the first night of the new month Taehyung found himself at his new home.

The Sand Queendom.

A country full of magic and powerful sorceresses, with hot and dry summers and the prosperous havens of the vast southern ocean. Taehyung had never seen such beautiful architecture before. It was completely different from the grey, blockish buildings of his home. The houses were painted in bright reds and pinks and oranges, reflecting the blinding sunlight and painting the street below in warm colours. Taehyung found himself gazing at the high buildings, wondering if he would ever get tired of the view. Perhaps not, after all it was quite the spectacle indeed.

“Windows! The houses have windows, Jimin”, he heard himself gasp to his best friend. Taehyung had only heard of the concept of windows before. He read about them in books and looked at them in drawings. He found the idea of watching the world from the comfort of ones own room always terribly exciting. Back home the houses didn’t have windows. The winters were too harsh and the winds too strong. Windows would have only let too much heat escape.

“Yes, I read it is because the nights are so mild here”, Jimin answered him.

“That’s marvelous. Do you think my bedroom will have windows too?”

“I am sure it will.”

Keep reading

I was using a tiktok filter and it was that “what are you” it scrolled around and I got “BLTTOM DADDY” 🤣

The way this has me rolling because I want to see this as a fic/ oneshot 🤣

Aaaaa <333 I shall. I'll spam every thought and idea from my brain! No worries, do please take your time to respond <3333 I look forward to your responses and answers to my brainrot! Do please take a nap/sleep uwu I'll be here hehe.

this is just a smol brainrot of like modern Tanjirou and his whole bakery.

*Tanjirou visiting a lil old shrine that is a fox (kitsune) statue. He prays for good luck and success for his business and his family health. (Some [mostly white] kitsunes are symbols of good luck and ward of evil and serve as guardian spirits)

*Next day, Tanjiro is returning back to the bakery and there is a fox! :0 Tanjiro a lil confused, but considering how the fox "mimics" his confused looks. He probably picks up that this fox must be a sign of good luck and protect! Leaves good meals for the Lil fox <3

*Eventually Tanjirou talks about his day, his family, etc to the Lil fox and it feels as if they get closer each day until one day, instead of the fox at front door. It's a person! Yet Tanjiro feels as if he knows them already and at this point he just "yeah, this is someone I wanna spend my life with!" And not like kitsune reader disagrees!

*Kitsune reader loves Tanjirou, they just need proper waiting and understanding what humans do to court <33 and soon breed him- tho kitsune reader will ask themselves if it's possible for humans to be bred-

,,, charming kitsune anon,,,, very charming ,,,,,

Big brain...

Ki-tsune: always come

Fox's fiance

[1000 words]

Tanjirou did not consider himself either religious or non-religious, but still feels the need to come to the old temple and ask the Fox Deity for the blessing of his new life.

Tanjirou, whose family in the past was a family of priests for many centuries, but with the advent of a new era, they began to engage in entrepreneurship like bakeries and pastry shops (bonus points if foxes were used as a mascot or the names of products included a fox theme). And although his great-grandmother was still a priest and visited the old family temple, his father and mother now had a bakery and Tanjirou planned, like them in the past, to open his own and devote his life to creating bakery products.

And he is not exactly religious (or, conversely, non-religious), but he feels that returning to the old temple, where the fox deity was worshipped before, to ask for their blessing, would be the right decision. Even if it is a useless request to no one, when Tanjirou bows his head, asking the deity for luck, he feels better — as if the deity he is asking for help and blessing really saw his request. A few gifts, a little gratitude — but when Tanjirou leaves the temple, he feels more confident.

And even if these are some echoes of the memory of his ancestors about the times when they asked for help from the deity for any undertaking, or just remnants of religious beliefs like most people, — Nezuko knows more about this than he does, — but Tanjirou feels that something wonderful will happen soon. The bakery will definitely be thriving, but looking at the stars out the window, Tanjirou somehow feels that they shine even brighter today, as if drawing someone a path... to him? Could it be that someone who will become a member of his family in the future is now looking at the stars as well, thinking about him?

Even if Nezuko would pinch his cheek for such thoughts, giggling, Tanjirou can't help but feel happy because of the thought that maybe he doesn't think; maybe something else happy will happen besides the bakery. Maybe, just maybe, he'll get lucky somewhere else.

"If the stars are shining, then someone needs it", so... can't he be that 'somebody' He's never had a romantic experience, and he's not even sure who exactly he might like — or who he would get along with best romantically and sexually, but Tanjirou is sure that this is a good person. If his "true love" exists somewhere in the world, then what difference does it make who they are as long as they are good, right?

But after a day nothing happens. And even two days later. And even after a week. The bakery is being opened — it's not the most popular yet, but customers who are uncomfortable driving to the shops or to the first Kamado bakery are happy to shop here. And although it's a little hard to work alone, but Tanjirou is used to hard work and has enough money to allow himself to develop slowly. His parents opened a bakery together, so it was more convenient for them, but Tanjirou does not have the strength and desire to go look for a partner or go on blind dates — or ask friends to look for a good match for him.

But after a month and two days, he meets a beautiful fox from the forest. And although this is not the first time he sees a fox, something about them makes him hold his breath, as if he is bewitched by their very presence. And although they don't run away from him, — on the contrary, they rub against his legs like a big, wild cat — Tanjirou can't help but think that this was probably the exciting event he was waiting for. Meeting with a wild, but so charming fox with the most intelligent eyes he had ever seen in animals... They even let him gently stroke their head, and Tanjirou can't help but admire out loud how gorgeous they are.

Even if it's not a meeting with a person, it's still a great sign that he chose the right path when he left his usual place to find his place. And looking at how cordially they accept his affection and praise, looking at him in a kind, cunning way, he feels like he is overflowing with warmth for the first time in a long time.

So he can't help but bring them some fresh meat.

And day by day, they become his new friend. Maybe it will sound sad for someone, but Tanjirou is rather glad that he has a friend, even if it is a fox, who waits for him every evening in the backyard and sometimes in front of the door. At least, communicating with someone who listens attentively to him, even if it is an unconscious animal, is better than spending days alone or in the company of customers — even if Tanjirou likes to communicate, sometimes anyone just want to find a person to whom you can talk after a working day. At least, even if the fox does not understand him, he is glad to see an intelligent look, as if they not only understand, but also sympathize with him.

“You think so too, Fluffy?”

The fox only puts their muzzle under his hand so that he strokes them.

“Although I knew that the move would be difficult, I did not think that I would miss my native places so much...”

The fox yaps, rubs against his hand, as if trying to comfort him, and Tanjirou feels himself relaxing. Their fur is soft, and for the first time he feels such a strong desire to just lower his head into it, but instead he scratches them between the ears.

“It was amazing to me how you managed to survive with such naive ideas about people... Do you think it's safe to go somewhere just to find some friendly person who will give you food? It's not safe for defenseless creatures like you to be so trusting-”

But the fox only yaps in response, as if giggling, slightly pushes him in the chest and runs away.

Tanjirou remains alone on the grass, looking confusedly towards the forest.

The fox, Fluffy, doesn't come for the next week, and Tanjirou doesn't want to sound pitiful, needy or desperate, but he can't help but wait for them in the backyard until almost late at night. And when the lump of anxiety fits in his stomach again, he can only take a deep breath, looking for at least something resembling his friend.

Maybe it's a little silly to expect a wild fox to come to him again, as if they have become his pet, but the worry that something could happen to them does not leave him. Even a plate of meat in their place remains untouched — neither by other foxes, nor by birds, nor by insects.

And this only increases his anxiety and loneliness even more.

When the first snow comes, more than a month has passed since the last arrival of the fox, and Tanjirou lives in excitement again; even in the morning he seems to get up only to find out if this incomprehensible, but definitely exciting event will happen today. Nezuko would definitely say that "this is a New Year's syndrome, big brother" or something like that, but Tanjirou only warms up more cocoa for customers who haven't come yet. And his hands are shaking with incomprehensible excitement, as if something is about to happen — he even opened earlier than usual, experiencing an irrational fear that this very event will pass him by if he does not try to meet it.

It's still dark outside — early morning, — and sleet is falling; Tanjirou vaguely thinks that Fluffy must be hiding somewhere from the cold right now. He hopes they didn't come because they found a good place to sleep and are now eating some delicious food...

...His thoughts are interrupted only by the quiet ringing of the door bell, announcing the first customer or visitor who needs to warm up; but when he comes out, wiping his flour-stained hands with a rag to greet an early customer at "Ki-tsune's bakery",

he freezes in place instead of greeting.

Maybe it's just his desperation before meeting someone, or he really has already seen you somewhere, but looking at such a familiar unfamiliar face, Tanjirou is relieved for some reason.

It was as if all this: a trip to the temple, and a meeting with the fox, and waiting until late at night, and daily work with clients, and an incomprehensible excitement that stirred his heart — all this was created only for this magical moment.

And for some reason his heart is beating faster and he can't look away.

“I-”

glad you're back.

... It's like a blizzard outside the window trying to hide you from other people's eyes.

masterlist | jjk

am i okay? no lmao, heres too many jungkook fics main masterlist

series

drown for you | siren!jk x f reader, sci-fi, merman/siren au, [f] [a] [s] ongoing

↳ there was something in that enormous tank, hidden in the murky water. all you knew was that you weren’t allowed inside the room and that it used to hold something dangerous.

evolution of a lover’s heart | fuckboy!jk x f reader, college au, bet au, [f] [a], ongoing

↳ the rules are simple: first one to take the virginity wins. 

part one: the lover 01, 02 

part two: the beloved 03, 04, 05, 06

to tame a god | alpha!jk x f reader, werewolf au, [f] [a] [s], complete

↳ jeon jeongguk is the youngest alpha his pack has ever seen, and they all trust him with their lives. one day, a strange wolf enters his territory. they know it’s not a regular wolf because just like their own, its eyes shine with the supernatural powers from within. but it won’t shift back to its human form to reveal its intentions.

(preview)  01, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06

Keep reading

Come back for this Rex.

Cancelled event

3.5k Special

Headcanons:

angel!reader falling for mer!bros

tiger hybrid mc

mc has their own human

shapeshifter!mc

feral!mc

mc with tentacles

Fics:

Lucifer - molting mc; First knotting

Mammon - shapeshifter; mc with healing cum

Leviathan - tentacle breeding

Satan - shapeshifter!mc; feline mc

Asmodeus:

- Secret Lair - smut

Beelzebub - minotaur!mc

Belphegor - werewolf!mc, Shadow monster mc

Diavolo - stuffed with mc's eggs; werewolf!mc

Barbatos - incubus!mc

Simeon - water slime monster

Solomon:

- King's Crown - fluff

Drabbles:

Requesting