Im Just So Fucking Tired Of Being Expected To Know What To Do, While Having No Idea What To Do. Tired

I’m just so fucking tired of being expected to know what to do, while having no idea what to do. Tired of being treated like shit, then being accused of being the abuser here. You think I want to live like this?!

You don’t think my health is deteriorating? How many times have I been to the Emergency Room in the last couple of months?

You think I’m trying to control your life? When’s the last time I was allowed to make a decision regarding my own body?

You think I’m self-sabotaging? Well, yeah, no shit. But thanks for giving me absolutely no advice on how to fix that. Not my fault that every time I get my hopes up, everything goes to shit.

You want me to talk to you more? Then stop making it about you whenever I say how I feel. It’s not that complicated. All you have to do is SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN FOR ONCE

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Yeah… that checks out

tag game!

Your last emojis are your gender

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Uh

@erikaskblog @fymo-blogs

I’ve got no idea, but I’m reblogging this in the hopes that someone who knows more than me will see this and help you

hi guys! so I started using a wheelchair for my chronic pain and orthostatic Intolerance, but I had to thrift one because I'm low key broke. It is an 18" seat and a little to big for me so it makes it harder to get around. Is there any places yall recommend getting a wheelchair from? I think I need a 16 inch seat but idk

*note: I use a cane as well and I don't have another rheumatology appointment for another 2 months

This empty feeling. Does it ever go away? I’ve got nothing to live for, and nothing to die for. Nothing at all. I’m just sick. Sick of crying myself to sleep night after night. Feeling so fucking tired all the time. No amount of caffeine could ever make a dent in this exhaustion. I hate being around people, but I hate being alone. I’m so sick of waking up alone. But I know it’s for the best.

I just want to feel normal for a day. Not in pain. Not terrified. Not shaking with fear or rage. Not questioning my existence. I just want to know what it would be like to not have this empty feeling in my chest. To not feel like a time bomb.

I don’t know which is worse. Having someone or being alone. It’s a nightmare either way.

I don’t want to die. I just… don’t really care one way or the other most of the time.

I know that whatever my exact illness is, it isn’t “that bad.” As in, it’s not going to kill me. It just feels like I’m dying most days. And some days I couldn’t care less about that.

But tomorrow will be the same as today. I’ll get up, go to work, and mask until I go to bed. Then the feelings will come rushing back and all I’ll want to do is cease to exist. I don’t know how to change. I don’t know who I am without my sickness. These monsters in my mind are the only ones who have never left me.

I just want to be okay. Even just for a minute. Sixty seconds of peace. Is that too much to ask for?

Same

me when boys me when

me

me when boys

Bite the CEO instead.

For legal reasons, this is a joke

i wanna go feral and bite the cashier but they don’t get payed enough for that so i have to fucking buy things instead of just running off into the woods