Jaune: Ok, I Admit It. Alright? I'm The One That Forged Their Documents To Sneak Into Beacon. But You

Jaune: Ok, I admit it. Alright? I'm the one that forged their documents to sneak into Beacon. But you have to keep this on the down low. I could be in a lot of trouble. I already hid the evidence.

Ruby: Did you at least do it right? You burned the evidence and tossed it into a lake?

Jaune: No, I hid it in the powder Ren makes his smoothies with-

Ruby: Oh, because they come out tasting awful already. Very smart. Well, no worries. You and I will just leave Vale and start a new life together.

Jaune: What?! What are talki-

Ruby: *Holds up scroll* Look, we can buy a house in Mistral for 43,000 lien.

Jaune: Ruby, I'm not leaving Vale to-Wait seriously?

Ruby: Yeah, pretty big too. 3 rooms, hardwood floors...

Jaune: For 43,000? That's insane. We could just pay that off.

Ruby: I know right?! You could have that game room you've always wanted, and there'd still be an extra room for the baby!

Jaune: What?

Ruby: Huh?

Fritos

Sun: Ok, I've got one. Would you have sex with Ren, if it meant you could have sex with Professor Goodwitch?

Jaune: Uhhh... Yeah. Yeah I'd probably do it.

Sun: Wait! Hang on! Missionary... And you have to look him in the eye. No closing your eyes and pretending it's somebody else.

Jaune: ... I think still yes.

Ren: Thank you Jaune.

Jaune: Alright my turn. *Draws card*

Ren: 😑

Jaune: I play a farmland card. I tap it for 1 mana, so I can play Dairy Cow. Because Dairy Cow is a grazing type, and I have Greenest Grass in play, I get 5 milk counters on her, which attracts Raging Bull from my hand. Raging Bull has 10 attack, but I can sell the 5 milk counters to the grocery store, that I have on my side of the field, for 15 dairy dollars. I then convert 15 dairy dollar to 30 mana, and that lets me play Big Gun. I give my Raging Bull a Big Gun and now it has 20 attack.

Ren: ... Ok. So you win-

Jaune: Now you might say "Hold on a second. You have Toll Gate cards on your side of the field."

Ren: I didn't say anything.

Jaune: And with Toll Gate cards, how can my Dairy Driver possibly afford to bring the milk counters to the grocery store? How, you ask!?

Ren: You're just saying things now.

Jaune: Because I have a Good Work Ethic card in my hand. I play it and Dairy Driver gets a raise, which means he can afford all the Toll Gates.

Ren: ... Ok-

Jaune: With the extra dairy dollars my Dairy Driver has, I invest in and play a Cheese Factory. The Cheese Factory creates 1 cheese per turn, so I search the top 5 cards of my deck and… *Draws card* Here we go... The Black Brie.

Ren: I don't think that card's even legal anymore.

Jaune: Black Brie gets served and I receive 3 colorless cheese chakra. With 3 colorless cheese chakra, I can tap my Cheese Factory 3 more times and now I've done a tap somersault. With a somersaulting Cheese Factory I can create triple the cheese output, and get 9 cheese chakra!

Ren: I'm gonna... go get lunch. You want anything?

Jaune: No, I'm good.

Ren: I'll be back in like 30 minutes.

Jaune: Good, that's how long I'll need to set up... The Cheese Tasting Phase.

Ren: Oh my God.