Ruby Rose - Tumblr Posts

Jaune: *Placing order*

Ruby: ‘I would like a turkey on white. I would like a turkey on white. I would like a turkey on white. I would like a turkey on white.’

Employee: Uhhhh. ma'am?

Ruby: Wha?!

Employee: Are you ready to order?

Ruby: Oh uh ye-yeah.

Employee: What can I get for ya?

Ruby: I would like um... Uh, could I get... Could I get a turkey on-on white please?

Employee: Alrighty! A turkey on wheat!

Ruby: *Frowns* Oh, alright. That's ok I guess...

Employee: What kind of cheese would you like on that?

Ruby: Provolone, please.

Employee: Provolone, alright!

Ruby: *Sigh of relief*

Employee: Would you like that toasted?

Ruby: Oh... N-no thank you.

Employee: Into the toaster it goes!

Ruby: *Tears up* Ok...

Employee: Okie dokie. Anything else on that?

Ruby: Can I get some light onion and lettuce please.

Employee: Tomatoes? Got it!

Ruby: *Weeze*

Employee: Alright, is there anything else you would like on that?

Ruby: Could I have a little Mayo please?

Employee: Mayo? Righty-o.

Ruby: ‘No. Wait no! I was supposed to ask for ranch! It's too late now!!!’

Employee: Alrighty, now are you two together then?

Ruby: Oh yeah, we've been together for a few years now!

Jaune: *Blushes*

Employee: Oh no, I meant are you guys paying together.

Jaune: *Chuckles* Yeah, we're together.

Ruby: *Whines*

(Home)

Ruby: *Stares down at sandwich*

Jaune: *Eating* That sandwich of fucked up!

Ruby: Finally, my dress. Now I can express all of my feelings for Jaune.

Jaune: *Walks in* Hey Ruby. What was that you were saying quietly?

Ruby: Jaune! Hey! I just got my dress, and I'm finally ready to express all of my true-

Jaune: I'm so proud of you. Opening yourself up and expressing what's inside. You're such an honest and true friend.

Ruby: Friend?!

Jaune: It's been hard for me, because I'm trying to win over Weiss, and prep for the dance. But knowing I have you as a pal, gives me the strength to do it.

Ruby: Pal?

Jaune: Don't worry bro. Weiss will never take your place as my best friend.

Ruby: Bro...?

Jaune: Yeah, even closer than a sister. So close that we could sleep in the same bed, and never touch or kiss. So anyway, thanks for expressing yourself man. *Leaves*

Ruby: Man...

Jaune: Ok, I admit it. Alright? I'm the one that forged their documents to sneak into Beacon. But you have to keep this on the down low. I could be in a lot of trouble. I already hid the evidence.

Ruby: Did you at least do it right? You burned the evidence and tossed it into a lake?

Jaune: No, I hid it in the powder Ren makes his smoothies with-

Ruby: Oh, because they come out tasting awful already. Very smart. Well, no worries. You and I will just leave Vale and start a new life together.

Jaune: What?! What are talki-

Ruby: *Holds up scroll* Look, we can buy a house in Mistral for 43,000 lien.

Jaune: Ruby, I'm not leaving Vale to-Wait seriously?

Ruby: Yeah, pretty big too. 3 rooms, hardwood floors...

Jaune: For 43,000? That's insane. We could just pay that off.

Ruby: I know right?! You could have that game room you've always wanted, and there'd still be an extra room for the baby!

Jaune: What?

Ruby: Huh?

Ruby: Guess we're gonna see the general. For better or for worst.

Weiss: C'mon Ruby, I'm sure General Ironwood is staying calm and composed as he makes sure law and order remain in Mantle.

(2 minutes later)

Ironwood: We are so fucked! It's a shit show out there! I saw a dog kill a man on the street, and then I saw the dog do... other things to that man. What took you all so long to get the lamp here?

Ruby: Well, we were learning... things.

Ironwood: Ah! You kids, learning stuff. Must be nice! Now, miss Schnee, I've got a list of things I need you to convince your father to pay for, so I can take back the city. One, Atlesian Knights. Two, a codpiece that I can wear that opens up and shoots a tiny missile.

Blake: Those don't exist.

Ironwood: Not. Yet.

Jaune: Sorry Summer. Maybe there's another way to get a message across?

Summer: ... !

Ruby: *Sigh* Come on guys let's clean this... Wait a sec. The pieces spell something...

Ren: I...

Yang: ❤️

Ruby: U?

Jaune: You think it means...

_RLY: I love you...

Ren: *Smiles*

Yang: *Chuckles sadly*

Ruby: *About to cry, but stops before she is seen*

Jaune: (Thoughts) Nice one Sum-

Nora: *Starts bawling her eyes out* Mommy! You loved me after all! 😭

Jaune: … Close enough. *Holds his weeping friend close*

Ghosts Of Summer 28: Luigi Board

Jaune: What are we going to do today guys?

Yang: We could go down to Vale.

Ruby: I do need to pick up some parts and ammo.

Yang: I meant to a club or something.

ARL_: No.

Yang: Whatever.

Ren: We do need to complete that assignment for Prof. Port's class.

AR_Y: No.

Ren: I tried.

Jaune: Why don't we-

Nora: *Bursts through the door* What you doing?

Ren: Discussing what we're going to do today.

Nora: Let's talk to ghosts!

Summer: !!!

Jaune: *Nervous* T-talk to ghosts? Don't be ridiculous, you can't do that.

Nora: Yeah you can! With this luigi board!

Ren: You mean a ouija board?

Nora: Nah, I'm pretty sure it's name is Luigi and I ask you to respect his name prefrences.

Ren: ...

Ruby: What's a luigi board?

Yang: You remember that horror movie we watched together last year on your birthday?

Ruby: No.

Yang: Well you did run off five minutes in so that makes sense.

Ruby: I-I didn't run off. I just... had to... do some maintenance...

Yang: Right.

Ren: It's supposed to let you communicate with spirits, but it's really just a board and a shiny rock. In order to really communicate with the spirits you must-

Nora: Yeah yeah yeah, do you guys want to talk to ghosts or what?

Ruby: Sure.

Yang: It's not like we have anything better to do.

Ren: We do, but you aren't going to stop until we do, so alright.

Jaune: Okay, I guess.

Jaune: *Whispering* Do you think that will actually work?

Summer: I have no idea. Might as well try I guess.

***One Luigi setup later***

Nora: Now you just put your hands here and the ghost will use this stone to spell out a message.

Summer: Huh, I actually can move it a little.

Yang: I think it's doing something.

Ruby: It's moving!

Nora: What's it spelling out!?

Ruby: Y

Yang: O

Nora: U

Ruby: R

Yang: M

Nora: O

Ruby: M

Jaune: Your mom?

_RLY+N: MOM!!!???

_RLY: ...

Ruby: Wait, you mom's...

Ren: Deceased, yes.

Ruby: Ms. Ghost, could you be a bit more spe-

Nora: *Smashes the table and destroys the board* THAT'S FOR ABANDONING ME ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD DURING A GRIMM ATTACK YOU BITCH!!!

Jaune: *Sighs* So close.

Fiona: Hi, you must be Ruby.

Ruby: I must?

Fiona: You know, we have a friend in common... Jaune.

Ruby: How do you know Jaune?

Fiona: We're friends. Sometimes we run into one another in town, and we go get dinner after.

Ruby: Let me guess... He takes you to the library where your favorite books are in a high shelf?

Fiona: He does.

Ruby: Yeah, that'll stop. And dinner? Don't get used to it. *Chuckles before grabbing Fiona’s collar and pulls her in close with her silver eyes flaring up.* I've seen dozens of you. I've outlasted them... And I'll outlast you.

Fiona: 😨

(R)WBY: *Standing wide eyed in their doorway*

Jaune: *Sitting at the edge of a bed, looking short of breath*

Ruby: *On floor between Jaune's legs, a white substance covering her face*

Ruby: Uh...

Ruby: Could I get like... five minutes to think up a good explanation?

Weiss: Ok, we'll start south of Mantle. You two start north, and we'll rendezvous in the middle. Assuming of course, Ruby and I haven't already caught the fugitives by the time you two show up.

Jaune: Weiss, there are nine hardened criminals running free in the streets. This is hardly the time for childish trash talk.

Weiss: *Quirks an eyebrow*

Jaune: It's time for a bet, a crazy ass bet.

Weiss: *Smirks* What are ya thinking?

Jaune: Whoever catches the most fugitives gets to keep their apartment. Loser moves in with the winner. *Extends a hand*

Weiss: Alright, I'm in. *Shakes Jaune's hand before leaning in threateningly* I hope you like sleeping in a bed with 1,000 pillows.

Jaune: *Leans in as well* Well, I hope you like sharing my one grey towel.

Weiss: ... Was it grey when you bought it?

Jaune: I didn't buy it. It was in the apartment when I moved in.

Weiss: Are you sure you don't want to just move in with me?

Jaune: We already shook on it. The bet stands. Prepare to die, and by die, I mean move in with me.

Weiss: Do you have any idea where you last left your bow?

Blake: If I knew, I probably wouldn’t have asked if you saw it anywhere.

Weiss: Then we must get to the bottom of this! Where is the bow? The game is on.

Blake: What are you, Sherl-

Weiss: *Now dressed like Sherlock Holmes*

Blake: -yes, apparently you are. Didn’t take you for the dress up type.

Weiss: This is strictly to get me in the mindset for deductive reasoning. All business.

Ruby: I’ll be Watson!

Weiss: No you can’t play with us!

A purple fireball crashes before Ruby and Yang. It explodes in a spectacle of awe and power. From it, reveals a knight clad in black and white armor, gold accents strewn around. A blood red sash flaps in the wind from his waist as he looks up to the sisters, whom immediately put their guard up, unsure what the knight will do or say first.

GrimmKnight!Jaune: *Wheezes in pain, his armor still letting off smoke from the fireball he came out of* My inside's are on fire!

Ruby: Uh... You good?

Yang: If not, I'd say we keep it that way.

Jaune: *Groans as he straightens himself* Yeah. Yeah I'm totally good.

Ruby: 😑 Nice recovery.

Jaune: What was that?

Ruby: Nothing!

Jaune: Well, in that case, hello children! Queen Salem said that I can't get back on my PS5 until I capture the silver-eyed girl, so lets get this over with quickly, eh?

Ruby: There's a PS5?!

Jaune: Yeah! How did you not-wait...

Jaune: (Thoughts) This means the girl's uncultured. Oh, we're gonna have some fun here. 

Jaune: Y'know, I bet beating you chumps isn't even gonna be a big challenge!

Ruby: Why's that?

Jaune: Because I was the only one in the queen's crew who was able to take on Lord Bofa.

Ruby: Bofa?

Yang: *Groans* Oh no.

Jaune: *Sinister laugh* Bofa Deez Nuts! 

With a wave of his now glowing sword, the knight unleashes a wave that knocks our heroines off their feet. His laughter rings across the battlefield, much to the annoyance of the sisters.

Jaune: Oh man. I haven't faced huntsmen this weak since Saw Con!

Yang: Ruby wai-!

Ruby: What is Saw Con!?

Jaune:

Wow... Let me just say, before you possibly read this, this was originally just another copy pasted rwby quote shitpost thing like I usually do. Said copy pasted quote will hopefully be more obvious near the end. But then, as I was writing, I just kept going, and going, and going, and going, until a hour in I realized, I was still going. But, I had already written most of it, so I thought I may as well finish it. 

I don’t really know how many will like, or even care about this, but I hope the ones that do enjoy the read. It’s pretty rough not gonna lie, don’t got anybody to beta-read this. I’ll probably not do something this again, except possibly on a random whim out of nowhere, much like this. Either way, I stalled long enough. 

Behold what happens when an idea expands further than intended with no certainty about the quality!

Atop a lonely single tower, sat a princess. For an almost undermined amount of time, this one room was all that she knew. All that she could exist in. At one side sat her her handmaiden, currently making the room as clean and neat as she could. The girl was a cat faunus about her age, with long black hair and vibrant amber eyes, along with cute little cat ears atop her head. The two weren’t particularly close, the girl seemed to hold a quiet distain for the princess if anything. Not that the princess could blame her, seeing as her family practically enslaved her and forced her to work for the princess. On the other side were two guards, perched in front of the door to the room, her only means of leaving. Before her was but a single window, perched up to allow her at least some connection to the outside. She brushed her silky white hair as she looked out at the world, wishing longingly to be apart of it. All that she knew about the outside came from books her handmaiden leant to her occasionally. 

While many were rather fantastical, leaving her to believe them to be fiction, there were also tales of numerous knights and heroes who could certainly exist. Her favorite, certainly being the story about the Rusted Knight. While many were uncertain about his actual appearance, some accounts claimed him to be rather handsome. Others would even state to have gotten the chance bed him, claiming him to be a rather well-endowed and... virile lover. Oh, how she wished she could be part of his tales. Rescued from her lonely tower by him, giving her the chance to not only explore the world, but take back and restore her kingdom, as well as her family name, from her bastard of a father. Perhaps this would also be enough for the knight to feel he has redeemed himself, and settle down. ‘Preferably with me...’ The princess thought, a red tinge arising on her cheeks as she imagined the knight taking her, and blessing her with many heirs. A sigh left her mouth as her imagination died down, revealing her cage once more. As much as she wished she could escape into her mind and leave this world behind, she couldn’t ignore where she was. Her fantasy was just that. A fantasy. One she couldn’t hope to leave from.

However...

Just as her hope was nearly diminished, the subtle sound of a horn ran through the air. This surprised the princess out of her stupor as wondered where that sound came from. Then she heard it again. Louder this time. As she listened in closer, her head almost fully out the window, she could make out yet another sound. A sound of collective stomps upon the ground, getting louder and louder with each step. A march. And upon the third horn, she could just barely fully recognize the sound, as well as it’s significance. And her worries were confirmed, as but a minute later, she could make out a large army making their way to her tower. Knights clad in all sorts of iron armor, brandishing weapons from swords and shields, to spears, to even mases. The princess could feel her heart begin to race, wondering just what they could want. Money perhaps? Maybe they’re here just for the thrill of a battle? Art they perhaps here for... her?

The princess did her best to steady her breathing, knowing she must look at this situation calmly, and vigilantly. She looked over the army, spying out any potential weak spots she could make out from her high vantage point. What she found however, had changed the course of her approach. As she scoped through the army, she saw one knight in the front, seemingly leading the rest behind him. That alone didn’t really catch her attention. What did, was the giant jackalope he was riding. There was also the man’s armor. The white plating with gold lining alone was attention grabbing, none could ignore the clear rust that covered every inch of the armor. If that wasn’t enough, the princess could make out one more thing. His shield held a rather familiar crest, that of two crescent moons. A gasp left her mouth as she comprehended just who this man was.

“The Rusted Knight!” She exclaimed, much to the confusion of her two guards, whom seemed to have spent more time leering at her beauty than noticing the army at their doorstep.

Looking away from her however, they quickly realized the situation, fear clearly emanating off them. It appears they wouldn’t have to worry however, as a large number of the guards stationed at the tower quickly left to fend off the approaching army. The two guards let out a sigh of relief, believing themselves to be safe from the upcoming carnage. The princess however was quite horrified at the display.

“What art they doing? Do they not knoweth whom they are up against? You must telleth to them to retreat or surrender! Before they all lose their lives!” She shouted at the guards.

The however brushed this off, believing their men to be of a superiors caliber. And if they were not, they’d at least by the two guards time to escape. Hearing this disgusted the princess, not believing the audacity these two portrayed. Not only ignoring an order from their princess, but also condemning their comrades to die. And yet, considering the attitude, as well as the degenerate behavior all her guards have portrayed in her time here, she shouldn’t be surprised. A guard had suddenly burst into her chambers in a state of clear panic. The two standing by the door look at him perturbed, wondering what was the alarm. Quickly trying his best to recollect as his thoughts, he stands front and center. “One of the soldiers outside has breached the tower!” He shouted, the shock of all in the room. Looking out at the continuing battle however, something had caught her eye. Or rather, something missing.

Where had the Rusted Knight gone?

The sound of a slam had rang through the room, turning the heads of all present to the double-door entrance to the chamber. Another slam against the door could be heard, nearly knocking it off it hinges. The two had attempted to put their guard up for whoever was coming, however, they didn’t expect both doors to violently fly open smashing them into the wall. The princess gasped as she watched their broken bodies slump to ground, a trail of blood leaking onto the floor. Looking back towards the door, she was nearly blown away at the sight of their trespasser. Before her stood nonother than the Rusted Knight himself. However, his trek up there had clearly been a trying one, as his chestplate had been slashed and torn apart, revealing his rather broad and muscled chest. With scratches and slight blood sprinkled about, there was no fat or softness that could be spotted from his rippled pecs, all the way down to his tight abs. Looking even lower however, she could see a light outline of what appeared to be his... manhood bulging from his pants. The stories clearly did not do him justice.

The princess could feel her bodies temperature raise at the sight, feeling the need to cool off any way she could. She undid her bolero, dropping to the ground. A soft, sensual moan left her lips as she could feel the cold air from the snow brush up against her now bare shoulders. The coldness failed to cool her off however, it only building up.

Without a second to waste, the Rusted Knight unsheathed his fabled broken sword. Now, many would immediately brush this off as a rather foolish plan. The Rusted Knight however, had built up a legend for a reason. Quickly, he flung his blade directly toward the last guard with blinding speed. The guard didn’t even know what hit him until it was already too late. The blade pierced right through his armor and pinned him right up against the wall. The force of which had nearly blown the princess away, the princess could only moan as she felt the hem of her dress be torn off in the process. She could only imagine how flushed her face must be as she took a look at her now torn dress, making her appear to be not but a harlot.

“Lady Schnow,” A deep voice penetrated through the knight’s rusted helmet. Reaching up, he began to lift his helmet up, much to the shock and anticipation of the princess. A small breath of surprise left her as she gazed upon his face. Before her was man hardened through many battles and hardships. She didn’t know his age, but could guess he was about ten years her elder. Her eyes lingered on his soft-looking, dirty-blonde hair, a few white strands strewn about. There was also his long beard, the thought to run her fingers through it briefly passing through her mind. The most enchanting thing about him however, was his eyes. A beautiful sapphire blue, as clear and as wonderous as the sky itself. Behind them, she could feel a piercing gaze looking straight through her soul.

Dropping his helmet to the ground, the knight began to make his way over to the princess. Standing before her, she is forced to acknowledge his dominating height over her, being a full head taller. “I... am John of the Ark Clan.” Said the now revealed John, taking the princess’ hands into his own as he looked down at her. “Legend of your beauty hath traveled ‘cross the sea.” He stated as he raised a hand to her. Brushing a loose strand off her face, the knight gently caresses her cheek with back of his knuckles, the princess failing to resist shuddering at the action. The heat in her neither region was becoming too much to handle. She desperately needed to sate this desire bubbling up inside of her. The princess knew succumbing to this... brute, would most surely be unbecoming of someone of her status. As well as be something her father would most certainly disown her for. But then again...

She never was particularly a daddy’s girl.

The princess took one more good long look at the man before her, her eyes once again rest on his bulge. She subconsciously bit her lower lip as she brought a finger up to her cheek, giving the knight a rather coy look. She subtly moved her finger over to his bare chest, dragging it down teasingly slow. “And legend of your... longsword, hath traveled here~” She sensually claimed, emphasizing her sentence by grabbing ahold of his “sword”. A gasp left out of the knight, not expecting the princess to so... forward. Unsure what to think at first, the knight gazes down at the princess with growing arousal, a gaze  she happily returns.

“Lady... Thy boldness” He stated, before immediately being silenced by her pressing a finger to his lips. 

“Shusheth!” She shouted. The heat was now unbearable. It must satisfied here and now. And with the growing hardness she is now feeling in her hand, she knew exactly how to do it. There was but a moment of silence between the two, neither moving, or talking. That moment of calm was almost instantly broken however, as the princess immediately leapt into the knights arms, wrapping her legs around his waist. Holding her up by her tight and supple posterior, the two quickly came together for a deep sensual kiss. Their tongues collided in a lustful clash, neither letting up or backing down both as tried to dominate the other.

As this went on, the knight subtly steps closer and closer towards the princess’ large bed. Losing patience however, he leapt them both into the air, crashing down on top the bed, the princess now underneath him. As the two continued their competitive lust-filled kiss, they began disrobing one another, stripping the other of any possible blocks from their body. While this went on however, both neglected to realize not only was the princess’ handmaiden still in the room, but was now watching as the two continued to give in to their base, carnal desires. Completely ignoring her prescience. Instead of feeling awkward however, the faunus couldn’t help but feel her own arousal building at the display. Slowly, she subconsciously reached her hand beneath her skirt, watching them finally rip off every article of clothing they had. 

The knight and princess looked down at one another as they finally separated for a breather, both breathing heavily as they gazed into one another's eyes. The princess let out a gasp as she felt a hot object rub against her naked entrance. Looking down at said object, the blush on her face got even hotter. Gazing back into John’s eyes, she felt like the two didn’t even need words to understand one another. He knew what she wanted. She knew what he wanted. And they both knew the other knew. Princess Schnow looked up at John with a sultry smile, feeling him about to claim her womanhood for himself.

“John of the Ark Clan!-”

Weiss: Wonder me with your massive knightly-!

Yang: Woah woah! Slow your roll there!

Weiss: *Looks up from her story at her team* What’s wrong?

Ruby: Weiss, you never said your story was... f-filthy.

Weiss: Uh, because it isn’t. This is a historically accurate medieval tale... with slight erotic undertones. 

Yang: Oh, there were no slight undertones in the end there.

Weiss: Well, surely you lack the ability to look underneath the surface, as expected from someone as unrefined as you.

Yang: *Quirks an eyebrow* Ok miss refine, tell me this. Why is this story about how you wanna bang Jaune?

Weiss: Excuse me?

Yang: What, I thought that much was pretty obvious.

Weiss: Clearly you thought wrong. This story is about the beautiful princess, Lady Schnow of the Atlesian Kingdom, and the her rescue by the graceful, gentle... *Blushes* skillful hands of the Rusted Knight, John of the Ark Clan. Where did you pick up that it was me and Jaune.

Yang: ... Ok, so there’s a princess?

Weiss: Yes.

Yang: With long white hair, and is called Lady Schnow?

Weiss: Uh huh.

Blake: And there is a rusted knight that has blonde hair with blue eyes?

Weiss: Right.

Ruby: And is named John?

Weiss: ... So there may be some superficial similarities.

Yang: *Rolls her eyes, deciding to give up before she gets a headache*

Blake: Why am I a handmaiden watching you two on the side?

Weiss: First of all, you think just because you both are cat faunus with long black hair, and amber eyes, and collect books must mean I based her off you? Conceited much?

Blake: I’m being conceited here?

Weiss: Second of all, it helped to add to the fiery passion built up in that scene.

Blake:  And a faunus handmaid because...?

Weiss: Historical accuracy.

Yang: Alright, I think Ruby and I had our fill for the day. *Grabs Ruby’s hood and begins dragging her out*

Weiss: But I haven’t finished yet. I was just about to get to how Lady Schnow undoes John’s pants to reveal-

Yang: Later!

Ruby: B-but I wanna-!

(Slam!)

Weiss: *Sighs in defeat and prepares to pack away her story. Only to see Blake having not moved from her seat*

Weiss: Oh, you’re still here?

Blake: Yeah. I actually want to hear where this goes. *Casually settles in her seat* Continue.

Weiss: *Smiles* Glad to see someone in this team has taste. *Clears her throat as she resumes, only just scratching the surface of her depraved tale*

Jaune: You know, you guys didn’t have to bring me along on your honeymoon. 

Nora: Aw, it was no issue Jaune. Right Ren? *Holds onto Rens arm*

Ren: Of course. Afterall, it was the least we could do after forgetting your birthday.

Jaune: It wasn’t that bad. Besides, you guys were busy preparing for your wedding, so it wasn’t your faults you forgot.

Nora: Either way, we thought you could enjoy the sights while we did some... newlywed activities. *Giggles like a child, still excited from their recent union*

Jaune: *Chuckles at Nora as he sets down their bags* Well, I guess all I can say is thanks. I’m gonna go grab the last of the luggage. You two just kick back and relax, alright?

Ren: Much appreciated Jaune. *Nods as he and his wife hold one another close, about to close in for a kiss*

Jaune: *Before leaving, he remembers something and pulls out an odd envelope from his pocket* Oh yeah, Ren, I almost forgot, this came in the mail before we left.

Ren: *Raises an eyebrow as he takes the envelope, opening its contents right as Jaune leaves the room*

Nora: Ooh~ That must be our marriage license.

Ren: Nora, this isn’t a marriage license. It’s a... restraining order?

Nora: *Shocked* Oh nuts! I was in such a rush I just grabbed the first form I saw and filled us both in.

Ren: It says we can’t be within... 25 yards of one another.

Nora: But 25 backyards is like... A lot! We got to get this fixed right away!

Ren: Nora, we need to file this to court if we wanna cancel it. And that may take a few days.

Nora: But... Our honeymoon. If we leave, we can’t enjoy it here. We’ve been looking forward to this for months.

Ren: I’m sorry, but unless we wanna risk breaking the law... again, there’s not really any other option.

Nora: No! I refuse! There’s gotta be something we can do to at least enjoy our honeymoon here, without getting in trouble, and until we can get this restraining order sorted out.

Jaune: *Kicks door open before coming in the rest of the luggage* Whew! Got the rest of the luggage guys! Anything else you two need before I head out?

Nora: ...

Ren: ...

RN: *Nod at one another*

Nora: Oh Jauney~ Do you think you could do us a big, BIG, favor?

Jaune: 🤨 ?

(Morning)

Nora: *Eating a nice stack of  chocolate chip pancakes*

Jaune: *Pops in with a bouquet of pink lotus flowers*

Nora: *Smiles as she takes them, waving outside the window to Ren, whom is currently doing some yoga*

(Afternoon)

Ren: *Driving a jet ski through ocean*

Nora: *Laughs joyously as her and Jaune water ski, her sitting atop his shoulders*

Jaune: *In absolute agony, trying his best to keep his balance, hold up Nora, and not vomit from the speed they were going*

(Evening)

Ren: *Ballroom dances with Jaune before releasing him with a spin*

Jaune: *Miraculously maintains his spin as he elegantly makes his way to Nora*

Nora: *Catches him before dropping him down onto the floor in an attempt to dip him*

(Night)

We see Jaune in bed with someone, sweat dripping down his body as he thrusts wildly into them from above. The creaking sound of the bedframe could be heard 5 rooms over, the frame threatening to fall apart with each thrust, as well as the feminine wails of pleasure from his partner. This stops, as with one last push, the two let out loud sensual moan as they climax together, Jaune grinding himself as deep as he could as he filled them to the brim. Sliding himself out, Jaune moves over to the side of the bed, catching his breath before grabbing and pulling up his pants.

Jaune: So... Like that?

Ren: *Pants in exhaustion as he sits himself up* Yes... Just like that. Nora will love it. So don’t keep her waiting.

Jaune: *Sighs* Hope my aura’s ready this. *Stands up and cracks his back before rushing off to go break out Nora’s*

Ren could hear his footsteps as Jaune made his way over to the guestroom, where Nora had been patiently waiting. The rooms here had such thin walls, he wouldn’t be surprised if Nora had heard every bit of him and Jaunes passionate fornication. In fact, he wouldn’t be surprised if that only aroused her more.

Nora: Took ya long enough! Now come to mama fearless leader~ 

Ren lets out a small smile as he hears Jaune and Nora quickly begin their own bout of sexual intercourse, sounding just as wild and passionate as his own, if not more so. A yawn escaping his mouth, Ren decides it’s time to get some shut eye, excited to see what the next day brought them. Afterall...

That was just the first day of their honeymoon.

(2 Weeks Later)

RWBY: *Waiting by the bullheads to greet the newlyweds once they returned*

Ruby: *Eye widened as her friends came into view* Hey, there they are!

Yang: It’s about time. *Squints her eyes in confusion* Wait, why are those two standing so far apart from one another?

Blake: *Shrugs* Beats me. Looks like they enjoyed their time though.

Yang: *Smirks* How much you wanna bet it’s because they spent most of it breaking in their bed?

Weiss: Do you have to make everything so vulgar Yang?

Yang: Jeez Weissy, it’s just a joke. No need to be such a pru... Is Vomit Boy ok?

Blake: He looks like he’s been drained of every ounce of vitality he had.

Ruby: You think Ren and Nora had him do a lot of work for them?

Before they could continue, they watch as Jaune collapses onto the ground. The team quickly rushes over to their friend, wondering if he was alright. They come across Ren and Nora, having not moved to check on their leader for some reason, instead lower their heads in grief for their fallen teammate.

Ren: He was a good man.

Nora: *A tear fall down her cheek* And virile lover.

Ren: ... Yes.

RWBY: *Looks at the two in confusion, no clue as to what was even happening... that is until one of them happened to remember something*

Yang: ... Wait. Does this have something to do with joke restraining order I sent you?

Jaune: *In hospital bed* Doc says I should make a full recovery. So long as we avoid as much physical contact as we can.

Ruby: Oh thank goodness. Guess we’ll need to be more careful from now on. *Gets ready to leave*

Jaune: Aren’t you forgetting something~

Ruby: Alright you goof. *Chuckles before blowing him a kiss* Get better soon~

Jaune: *Heart flatlines*

Ruby: AAAAUUHHH!!!

Jaune: *staring at Ruby’s thighs*

Jaune: I want them to crush my skull.

Ruby: What?

Jaune: I said this is such bull.

The Writer's Ruby's Barely Disguised Fetish.

Ruby: Take that and that!

Jaune: Too slow Rubes.

Ruby: Hey that's cheating!

Jaune: No it's not you just need to git gud, that's all.

Ruby: Well two can play that game, vomit boy. *stands up and block Jaune's view with her butt*

Jaune: Hey what gives Ruby? You're blocking my view!

Ruby: How do you like 'em apple or in this case peaches. What's the matter can't take your eyes of them? *playfully taunting her rear end in front of Jaune*

Jaune: Darn it Rubes, if you don't get your butt from out of my face right now! I swear, I will slap it so hard you won't be able to sit on it for the entire day.

Ruby: Ooh, that sounds like a threat. Go ahead vomit boy do your worst. I bet you don't have the guts for it.

Jaune: Don't say I didn't warn you. *proceeds to lightly slap Ruby's rear end*

Ruby: ....!

As the shock from the slap travels from her shapely behind throughout her entire body. Ruby finds herself suddenly frozen in place, seemingly unable to process what just happened. So much so in fact that she didn't realize that Jaune then used the opportunity to take advantages of the situation to win against her in the game.

Jaune: Hah. I won! How do you like it Ruby?

Ruby: ....

Jaune: What, cat got your tongue? Well I hope this serves as a lesson to you Ruby that Cheetah never prosper. Ha, ha. Oh I'm being such a Yang right now.

Ruby: ....

Jaune: Okay Ruby enough with the silence treatment. I know you're upset but don't be such a drama queen about it.

Ruby: ....

Jaune: Hey, Ruby are you okay. Say something? *touches her*

Ruby: *snap back to reality* w-wh-what just happened?

Jaune: You just froze there for a while. I don't think I hit you that hard did I?

Ruby: (more like not hard enough 😏.)

Jaune: I'm sorry Ruby I didn't hear it but did you said something?

Ruby: W-what no! I didn't say anything... And Jaune if you don't mind me asking, do you want to play another game with me.

Jaune: Oh Rubes you don't have to ask me that. Of course I'll play with you everytime you want. Just don't do that again or I will slap you even harder.

Ruby: You will!!! Uh *cough* ah-hem. I mean do you want to play with me right now?

Jaune: Oh... Sorry. But not right now Ruby. *Yawn* I gotta go to sleep how about we do it next week okay?

Ruby: Next week?....

Jaune: Yeah school starts tomorrow. *hugs Ruby* okay see ya. *walks out*

Ruby:

The next day.

Ruby: Jaune can you come to my room, please?

Jaune: But I thought we're not playing today?

Ruby: Please just come to my room Jaune. I-I need your help. I-I think I might be sick.

Jaune: Just stay where you are. I'll be right there Ruby. *runs as fast as he can to help Ruby*

Ruby's Room

Jaune: *burst into the room* Ruby are you hurt!?

When he burst into the room. He expected that Ruby is in some kind of trouble. But what he saw is something even more shocking. He sees her in a seductive nightwear while pointing her behind at him.

Ruby:

Jaune please, tie me up and spank me. I've been on edge since yesterday and I haven't been able to relieve myself all day. I can't wait all week Jaune. I need you now!!!

Jaune:

Dear Lord above give me strength to resist the temptation from this succubus because she will be the death of me...

If I somehow reached 300 subs I promise I will write 10k words smut.

Jaune: Happy Birthday Ruby! *Hands her his present*

Ruby: Aw, thank you Jaune! *Opens gift*

Ruby: *Gasps as she pulls out a black and red dog collar* You shouldn't have!

_WBYJNPR: 😄

Ruby: *Clasps it around her neck and looks in a mirror* I love it! It's a bit tight, but I'm not picky. If you wanted to mix things up Jaune, all you to do was as-

*Bark*

Ruby: Huh? *Looks down to see her dog Zwei, quickly realizing her mistake*

Jaune: 😳

_WBY_NPR: *At a lost for words*

Ruby: Uh...

Nurse: Please excuse the doctor. He was given a rather sudden call. He should be with you in just a bit to proceed with the surgery. *Leaves*

Jaune: Great... Good to hear...

Tai: In that case, I should head on out then to give ya at least some dignity before they take it away from ya. Good luck kid! *Leaves*

Jaune: *Whimpers*

Doctor: *Walks in behind him* Well then, Mr. Arc, 'bout time we get to those balls, yeah?

Jaune: *Ignores their strangely fake sounding deep voice* Listen, doc, is there any way we could maybe... not do this?

Doctor: Hm, I'm not sure. Da-Mr. Xio Long has paid quite a bit, and cashed in a few favors, to ensure this surgery happens.

Jaune: *Sighs in defeat* I guess it's inevitable then...

Doctor: ... Although, perhaps instead of snipping off those (stuffed) balls of yours, we could go a different route.

Jaune: *Face brightens slightly* Oh, yeah? You mean like a vasectomy or-

Doctor: Not quite. *Locks the door* I was thinking of something a bit more... fun~

Jaune: Uh... doc? *Watches the back of the doctor nervously as they walk past him to grab some gloves*

Doctor: Rather than removing them, I'd say it's better to drain them completely. *Snaps gloves onto her hands* Til you've got nothing left.

Jaune: *Gulps nervously* D-Doctor... You're starting to s-scare me.

Doctor: Oh Jaune... There's nothing here for you to be afraid of. Afterall... *Turns around*

Jaune: *Eyes widen in fear as he starts wildly thrashing against his restraints, but they refuse to give*

Ruby: *Wearing nothing besides a doctors coat, licks her lips as she looked at him with barely held back lust* You can trust me. I'm a doctor~

(Outside the room)

Tai: *Whistling as he reads a magazine*

Jaune: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Tai: Damn, almost feel sorry for the lanky bastard.

Tai: Almost.

Tai Finally Getting Jaune Fixed.

Intercom: *ping* Mr. Xiao Long the Doctor is here to see you and your Jaune for surgery.

Tai: *Rolling Jaune inside the doctor office*

Well look at it this way kid. Think of these as me preemptively saving you from paying all those future child supports from you banging half the woman in remnant (especially my Ruby) and no doubt impregnating them in your first go.

Jaune:

Somewhere Outside

Ruby: *sniff, sniff* Where are you Jaune? I can smell you! I CAN SMELL YOU! SO WHERE ARE YOU!?

I'll find you Jaune. And when I do I will ruin NNN for you! Mua, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!!!

Oh no I hope someone would come & save Jaune:

You can add more if you want it too...

Ruby: Ok, I get me and Jaune may be more close than regular friends normally are-

Blake: Understatement of the decade.

Ruby: But! I don't see why everyone thinks we're together! We are simply a boy and a girl who platonically enjoy being around the other.

Blake: Ruby, I literally caught you getting railed by, and riding, Jaune around the academy 5 times in less than 2 days.

Yang: *Chatting with Weiss*

Ruby: *Runs into room* Yang! Yang! You've got to see this funny faunus trait Jaune has!

Yang: *Shoo's her away* Now now Ruby, the adults are having a conversation.

Ruby: Suit yourself. *Shrugs and runs off*

Yang: So like I was saying...

Ruby: *From other room* Red rocket! Red rocket Jaune!

Yang: *Sudden realization before immediately leaving* Ruby no!

Weiss: ...

Weiss: Am I not allowed to have a relatively normal day?

Jaune: Ruby, it's alright. Your... assets simply lie elsewhere.

Ruby: Oh yeah? Where?! *Hits table in frustration, causing a plate of cookies to fall over*

Ruby: Ah nuts! *Quickly turns and bends over to pick them up*

Jaune: 😳

*Thump!*

Yang: Hm? Did you just bump the table with your leg?

Jaune: You could say that, yes.

The Bigger Win

Yang: Ha! I win~!

Ruby: Grrrr! So what I have small boobs! Jaune doesn’t like me because I have a big boobs; He likes me for my adorable personality~!

Yang: True, but I can get him hard in a minute without touching him with these girls. Can you do that?

Ruby: …

Ruby: Jaune, that’s not true is it?!

Jaune: Let’s just say I’m sitting down, behind this table for a reason. Okay?

Yang: Ha, that’s one for me~!

Ruby: Ahh nuts…

Ruby: *Hand smacks nothing but air*

Ruby: Wha? B-But how? *Feels an intense presence behind her*

Jaune: Oh, sweet, naïve Ruby...

Jaune: *Raises an aura enhanced hand* Dat ass compels me with power beyond your comprehension.

Ruby: *Walking down a path* Ooh, look at those pretty flowers. *bends over to pick them*

Jaune: ...

Ruby: *Wearing a skirt that's a bit too small, giving Jaune a great view of the Rubooty.*

Jaune: *thinking* Must not slap Ruby's butt.

Ruby: *sways a bit from side to side, giving her butt a nice little jiggle*

Jaune: Please forgive me Ruby. *Raises hand* Becaus I know Yang won't.

SMACK!!!