Lancaster - Tumblr Posts
Jaune: *Placing order*
Ruby: ‘I would like a turkey on white. I would like a turkey on white. I would like a turkey on white. I would like a turkey on white.’
Employee: Uhhhh. ma'am?
Ruby: Wha?!
Employee: Are you ready to order?
Ruby: Oh uh ye-yeah.
Employee: What can I get for ya?
Ruby: I would like um... Uh, could I get... Could I get a turkey on-on white please?
Employee: Alrighty! A turkey on wheat!
Ruby: *Frowns* Oh, alright. That's ok I guess...
Employee: What kind of cheese would you like on that?
Ruby: Provolone, please.
Employee: Provolone, alright!
Ruby: *Sigh of relief*
Employee: Would you like that toasted?
Ruby: Oh... N-no thank you.
Employee: Into the toaster it goes!
Ruby: *Tears up* Ok...
Employee: Okie dokie. Anything else on that?
Ruby: Can I get some light onion and lettuce please.
Employee: Tomatoes? Got it!
Ruby: *Weeze*
Employee: Alright, is there anything else you would like on that?
Ruby: Could I have a little Mayo please?
Employee: Mayo? Righty-o.
Ruby: ‘No. Wait no! I was supposed to ask for ranch! It's too late now!!!’
Employee: Alrighty, now are you two together then?
Ruby: Oh yeah, we've been together for a few years now!
Jaune: *Blushes*
Employee: Oh no, I meant are you guys paying together.
Jaune: *Chuckles* Yeah, we're together.
Ruby: *Whines*
(Home)
Ruby: *Stares down at sandwich*
Jaune: *Eating* That sandwich of fucked up!
Ruby: Finally, my dress. Now I can express all of my feelings for Jaune.
Jaune: *Walks in* Hey Ruby. What was that you were saying quietly?
Ruby: Jaune! Hey! I just got my dress, and I'm finally ready to express all of my true-
Jaune: I'm so proud of you. Opening yourself up and expressing what's inside. You're such an honest and true friend.
Ruby: Friend?!
Jaune: It's been hard for me, because I'm trying to win over Weiss, and prep for the dance. But knowing I have you as a pal, gives me the strength to do it.
Ruby: Pal?
Jaune: Don't worry bro. Weiss will never take your place as my best friend.
Ruby: Bro...?
Jaune: Yeah, even closer than a sister. So close that we could sleep in the same bed, and never touch or kiss. So anyway, thanks for expressing yourself man. *Leaves*
Ruby: Man...
Jaune: Ok, I admit it. Alright? I'm the one that forged their documents to sneak into Beacon. But you have to keep this on the down low. I could be in a lot of trouble. I already hid the evidence.
Ruby: Did you at least do it right? You burned the evidence and tossed it into a lake?
Jaune: No, I hid it in the powder Ren makes his smoothies with-
Ruby: Oh, because they come out tasting awful already. Very smart. Well, no worries. You and I will just leave Vale and start a new life together.
Jaune: What?! What are talki-
Ruby: *Holds up scroll* Look, we can buy a house in Mistral for 43,000 lien.
Jaune: Ruby, I'm not leaving Vale to-Wait seriously?
Ruby: Yeah, pretty big too. 3 rooms, hardwood floors...
Jaune: For 43,000? That's insane. We could just pay that off.
Ruby: I know right?! You could have that game room you've always wanted, and there'd still be an extra room for the baby!
Jaune: What?
Ruby: Huh?
Qrow: Hey, I wanna set you up with my neice.
Jaune: Oh, I'm already dating Ruby.
Qrow: I thought you were gay.
Jaune: ... Then why are you trying to set me up with her.
Qrow: I don't know.
Fiona: Hi, you must be Ruby.
Ruby: I must?
Fiona: You know, we have a friend in common... Jaune.
Ruby: How do you know Jaune?
Fiona: We're friends. Sometimes we run into one another in town, and we go get dinner after.
Ruby: Let me guess... He takes you to the library where your favorite books are in a high shelf?
Fiona: He does.
Ruby: Yeah, that'll stop. And dinner? Don't get used to it. *Chuckles before grabbing Fiona’s collar and pulls her in close with her silver eyes flaring up.* I've seen dozens of you. I've outlasted them... And I'll outlast you.
Fiona: 😨
(R)WBY: *Standing wide eyed in their doorway*
Jaune: *Sitting at the edge of a bed, looking short of breath*
Ruby: *On floor between Jaune's legs, a white substance covering her face*
Ruby: Uh...
Ruby: Could I get like... five minutes to think up a good explanation?
Jaune: *In hospital bed* Doc says I should make a full recovery. So long as we avoid as much physical contact as we can.
Ruby: Oh thank goodness. Guess we’ll need to be more careful from now on. *Gets ready to leave*
Jaune: Aren’t you forgetting something~
Ruby: Alright you goof. *Chuckles before blowing him a kiss* Get better soon~
Jaune: *Heart flatlines*
Ruby: AAAAUUHHH!!!
Jaune: *staring at Ruby’s thighs*
Jaune: I want them to crush my skull.
Ruby: What?
Jaune: I said this is such bull.
Jaune: *Frantically searching around beacon* Ruby!? Ruby!?
Coco: *Atop staircase* Ruby!? Ruby!?
Jaune: Is your girlfriend named Ruby too?
Coco: No, but I figured if she's banging a guy like you, I got a shot. Ruby!?
Jaune: Wait what!? Ruby!?
Coco: Ruby!?
Jaune: RUBY!?
The Writer's Ruby's Barely Disguised Fetish.
Ruby: Take that and that!
Jaune: Too slow Rubes.
Ruby: Hey that's cheating!
Jaune: No it's not you just need to git gud, that's all.
Ruby: Well two can play that game, vomit boy. *stands up and block Jaune's view with her butt*
Jaune: Hey what gives Ruby? You're blocking my view!
Ruby: How do you like 'em apple or in this case peaches. What's the matter can't take your eyes of them? *playfully taunting her rear end in front of Jaune*
Jaune: Darn it Rubes, if you don't get your butt from out of my face right now! I swear, I will slap it so hard you won't be able to sit on it for the entire day.
Ruby: Ooh, that sounds like a threat. Go ahead vomit boy do your worst. I bet you don't have the guts for it.
Jaune: Don't say I didn't warn you. *proceeds to lightly slap Ruby's rear end*
Ruby: ....!
As the shock from the slap travels from her shapely behind throughout her entire body. Ruby finds herself suddenly frozen in place, seemingly unable to process what just happened. So much so in fact that she didn't realize that Jaune then used the opportunity to take advantages of the situation to win against her in the game.
Jaune: Hah. I won! How do you like it Ruby?
Ruby: ....
Jaune: What, cat got your tongue? Well I hope this serves as a lesson to you Ruby that Cheetah never prosper. Ha, ha. Oh I'm being such a Yang right now.
Ruby: ....
Jaune: Okay Ruby enough with the silence treatment. I know you're upset but don't be such a drama queen about it.
Ruby: ....
Jaune: Hey, Ruby are you okay. Say something? *touches her*
Ruby: *snap back to reality* w-wh-what just happened?
Jaune: You just froze there for a while. I don't think I hit you that hard did I?
Ruby: (more like not hard enough 😏.)
Jaune: I'm sorry Ruby I didn't hear it but did you said something?
Ruby: W-what no! I didn't say anything... And Jaune if you don't mind me asking, do you want to play another game with me.
Jaune: Oh Rubes you don't have to ask me that. Of course I'll play with you everytime you want. Just don't do that again or I will slap you even harder.
Ruby: You will!!! Uh *cough* ah-hem. I mean do you want to play with me right now?
Jaune: Oh... Sorry. But not right now Ruby. *Yawn* I gotta go to sleep how about we do it next week okay?
Ruby: Next week?....
Jaune: Yeah school starts tomorrow. *hugs Ruby* okay see ya. *walks out*
Ruby:
The next day.
Ruby: Jaune can you come to my room, please?
Jaune: But I thought we're not playing today?
Ruby: Please just come to my room Jaune. I-I need your help. I-I think I might be sick.
Jaune: Just stay where you are. I'll be right there Ruby. *runs as fast as he can to help Ruby*
Ruby's Room
Jaune: *burst into the room* Ruby are you hurt!?
When he burst into the room. He expected that Ruby is in some kind of trouble. But what he saw is something even more shocking. He sees her in a seductive nightwear while pointing her behind at him.
Ruby:
Jaune please, tie me up and spank me. I've been on edge since yesterday and I haven't been able to relieve myself all day. I can't wait all week Jaune. I need you now!!!
Jaune:
Dear Lord above give me strength to resist the temptation from this succubus because she will be the death of me...
If I somehow reached 300 subs I promise I will write 10k words smut.
Jaune: Happy Birthday Ruby! *Hands her his present*
Ruby: Aw, thank you Jaune! *Opens gift*
Ruby: *Gasps as she pulls out a black and red dog collar* You shouldn't have!
_WBYJNPR: 😄
Ruby: *Clasps it around her neck and looks in a mirror* I love it! It's a bit tight, but I'm not picky. If you wanted to mix things up Jaune, all you to do was as-
*Bark*
Ruby: Huh? *Looks down to see her dog Zwei, quickly realizing her mistake*
Jaune: 😳
_WBY_NPR: *At a lost for words*
Ruby: Uh...
Nurse: Please excuse the doctor. He was given a rather sudden call. He should be with you in just a bit to proceed with the surgery. *Leaves*
Jaune: Great... Good to hear...
Tai: In that case, I should head on out then to give ya at least some dignity before they take it away from ya. Good luck kid! *Leaves*
Jaune: *Whimpers*
Doctor: *Walks in behind him* Well then, Mr. Arc, 'bout time we get to those balls, yeah?
Jaune: *Ignores their strangely fake sounding deep voice* Listen, doc, is there any way we could maybe... not do this?
Doctor: Hm, I'm not sure. Da-Mr. Xio Long has paid quite a bit, and cashed in a few favors, to ensure this surgery happens.
Jaune: *Sighs in defeat* I guess it's inevitable then...
Doctor: ... Although, perhaps instead of snipping off those (stuffed) balls of yours, we could go a different route.
Jaune: *Face brightens slightly* Oh, yeah? You mean like a vasectomy or-
Doctor: Not quite. *Locks the door* I was thinking of something a bit more... fun~
Jaune: Uh... doc? *Watches the back of the doctor nervously as they walk past him to grab some gloves*
Doctor: Rather than removing them, I'd say it's better to drain them completely. *Snaps gloves onto her hands* Til you've got nothing left.
Jaune: *Gulps nervously* D-Doctor... You're starting to s-scare me.
Doctor: Oh Jaune... There's nothing here for you to be afraid of. Afterall... *Turns around*
Jaune: *Eyes widen in fear as he starts wildly thrashing against his restraints, but they refuse to give*
Ruby: *Wearing nothing besides a doctors coat, licks her lips as she looked at him with barely held back lust* You can trust me. I'm a doctor~
(Outside the room)
Tai: *Whistling as he reads a magazine*
Jaune: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Tai: Damn, almost feel sorry for the lanky bastard.
Tai: Almost.
Tai Finally Getting Jaune Fixed.
Intercom: *ping* Mr. Xiao Long the Doctor is here to see you and your Jaune for surgery.
Tai: *Rolling Jaune inside the doctor office*
Well look at it this way kid. Think of these as me preemptively saving you from paying all those future child supports from you banging half the woman in remnant (especially my Ruby) and no doubt impregnating them in your first go.
Jaune:
Somewhere Outside
Ruby: *sniff, sniff* Where are you Jaune? I can smell you! I CAN SMELL YOU! SO WHERE ARE YOU!?
I'll find you Jaune. And when I do I will ruin NNN for you! Mua, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!!!
Oh no I hope someone would come & save Jaune:
You can add more if you want it too...
Ruby: Ok, I get me and Jaune may be more close than regular friends normally are-
Blake: Understatement of the decade.
Ruby: But! I don't see why everyone thinks we're together! We are simply a boy and a girl who platonically enjoy being around the other.
Blake: Ruby, I literally caught you getting railed by, and riding, Jaune around the academy 5 times in less than 2 days.
Yang: *Chatting with Weiss*
Ruby: *Runs into room* Yang! Yang! You've got to see this funny faunus trait Jaune has!
Yang: *Shoo's her away* Now now Ruby, the adults are having a conversation.
Ruby: Suit yourself. *Shrugs and runs off*
Yang: So like I was saying...
Ruby: *From other room* Red rocket! Red rocket Jaune!
Yang: *Sudden realization before immediately leaving* Ruby no!
Weiss: ...
Weiss: Am I not allowed to have a relatively normal day?
Jaune: Ruby, it's alright. Your... assets simply lie elsewhere.
Ruby: Oh yeah? Where?! *Hits table in frustration, causing a plate of cookies to fall over*
Ruby: Ah nuts! *Quickly turns and bends over to pick them up*
Jaune: 😳
*Thump!*
Yang: Hm? Did you just bump the table with your leg?
Jaune: You could say that, yes.
The Bigger Win
Yang: Ha! I win~!
Ruby: Grrrr! So what I have small boobs! Jaune doesn’t like me because I have a big boobs; He likes me for my adorable personality~!
Yang: True, but I can get him hard in a minute without touching him with these girls. Can you do that?
Ruby: …
Ruby: Jaune, that’s not true is it?!
Jaune: Let’s just say I’m sitting down, behind this table for a reason. Okay?
Yang: Ha, that’s one for me~!
Ruby: Ahh nuts…
Ruby: *Hand smacks nothing but air*
Ruby: Wha? B-But how? *Feels an intense presence behind her*
Jaune: Oh, sweet, naïve Ruby...
Jaune: *Raises an aura enhanced hand* Dat ass compels me with power beyond your comprehension.
Ruby: *Walking down a path* Ooh, look at those pretty flowers. *bends over to pick them*
Jaune: ...
Ruby: *Wearing a skirt that's a bit too small, giving Jaune a great view of the Rubooty.*
Jaune: *thinking* Must not slap Ruby's butt.
Ruby: *sways a bit from side to side, giving her butt a nice little jiggle*
Jaune: Please forgive me Ruby. *Raises hand* Becaus I know Yang won't.
SMACK!!!
Hm... What about a double lancaster? Jaune x (female)Ruby and (male)Ruby
(wanted to try an outlandish one and came up with this)
Are these twins Rubes? Is one Ruby from a parallel world?
Might as well do the inverse, right?
A whole mess of'em
Blake: So... Who tops?
Ruby/Weiss: Me.
Blake: ?
R/W: ... Weiss/Ruby
Blake: ??
R/W: ... Jaune
Blake: ???
Wolf Ruby: *Whispering* Do you hear that, Jaune?
Jaune: No, is it a grimm?
Ruby: No, it's just the sound of my undying love for you. *licks Jaune's face*
Jaune: ???
Ruby: What? The two us alone for a long stretch of time, something's definitely gonna happen.
Jaune: Ruby, I assure you, I would never do something like that to you.
Ruby: Who said you'd be the one to initiate it?
Jaune: ...
Nora: ... You go girl.
Nora: If you went on an adventure with only Jaune, what would happen?
Ruby: I'd come back pregnant.
Jaune: You'd what!?
