Needed This

Needed this

I can normally deal with people not reading the comics, because not everyone has the means to or even the desire to, and that's okay! The cartoons and a lot of the shows are great, and I can typically adjust to the different continuities being referenced quick enough.

But the one thing that gets me every time in fics written by people who aren't familiar with the comics is the timeline. It is always incredibly wonky and all over the place and just. Incorrect. Sometimes it makes me laugh, sometimes it makes me 🙃, and others I have to leave right now immediately.

So in the interest of saving myself (and perhaps others) a ???? reaction in the future, here is a (very) rough and non-exhaustive order of events for the Bat Clan. The time between these events are variable, but this is the general order of things.

Thomas and Martha Wayne are murdered

Bruce goes on his training trip

Bruce comes back and begins his whole I Am The Night shtick

The Grayson family is murdered

Bruce fosters Dick

Dick debuts as Robin

Justice League/ Super Friends/ whatever group is formed

Dick forms the Teen Titans with Donna, Garth, Roy, and Wally.

Dick leaves Gotham (either for college, or because of an argument with Bruce)

Sometimes more Titans things happen. They also break up at some point

Raven forms the second iteration of the Teen Titans to fight her father. The team is comprised of Dick, Raven, Donna, Wally, Kori, Gar, and Vic.

Jason steals the tires off the Batmobile, thwarts his own grandmother's attempts at robbing a museum, and is adopted by Bruce. He is also made Robin - Note that oftentimes Dick is still Robin at this time as well.

Babs gets shot by the Joker for her dad and Bruce's man pain. She becomes Oracle as a result.

Jason and Bruce have a fight, and Jason goes to find his biological mother.

Jason is betrayed by his supposed mother and murdered by the Joker.

Tim shows up and does his "Batman needs Robin" Thing.

Jason crawls himself out of his grave and promptly gets hit by a car. Don't worry, we'll check in with him later.

Tim's mom is murdered and his father left in a coma that he eventually recovers from.

Knightfall happens - Bane breaks Bruce's back, Jean-Paul Valley is Batman for a minute and so is Dick.

Contagion happens - some dumbass releases a super plague on the city but it's okay because they make a vaccine that everyone gets because it's 1996 and no one has given Jenny McCarthy the opportunity to start the Anti-Vax movement yet.

Legacy happens - It's break through cases this time but don't worry, they fix it because this is comic books and people have two braincells to rub together.

Dick goes to Blüdhaven!!! This is the big one for me tbh. Please stop putting him in the Blüd while Jason is alive, I beg of you. You're killing me.

Cataclysm happens - a massive earthquake hits Gotham, and it is Very Bad. The US government decides to abandon the city and kill anyone trying to leave or enter after a certain date. Because that's an entirely reasonable thing to do. This leads to.....

No Mans Land - the approximate year that the city was cut off from the rest of the country. Lots of shit happens during this time - Cassandra Cain debuts, Stephanie Brown has her baby, Tim goes to boarding school, Sarah Essen-Gordon dies. If there is the only one comic book arc you read, please let it be this one.

Bruce is framed for the murder of Vesper Fairchild - not really important in the grand scheme of things but I love Vesper and you should too.

Hush happens - basically Tommy Elliot has Problems and also Jason shows up but not really but yest really (hi thank you retcons). It's a thing. Read the wikipedia page it's actually very helpful.

Tim's dad finds out that he's Robin and forces him to retire.

The next couple of things happen right on top of each other so - Blockbuster sets fire to Haly's circus and blows up Dick's apartment building and a bunch of other bad things. Tarantula kills Blockbuster and rapes Dick while he's in shock.

Immediately afterwards War Games starts - Steph starts a gang war to prove her worth to Bruce, gets murdered but not really by Black Mask, it's a whole thing.

Side bar - why did no one warn me about Black Mask killing Orpheus - a Black vigilante - and then impersonating him with full Blackface? Everyone talks about what he did to Steph but I really think we need to talk about what he did to Orpheus. Also if you haven't read War Games yet, here are some accurate trigger warnings for it: blackface, sexualized murder of a teenaged girl, a school shooting where a child dies.

Tim comes back as Robin.

Under the Red Hood happens - Jason comes back to Gotham, kills some guys, tries to kill Tim, does his whole Thing. You've probably seen the movie but I also recommend you read the comics it's v good and every time I read Jason's final speech I start crying.

Damian shows up

Final Crisis happens and Bruce "dies" aka gets lost in time, so the boys duke it out over who gets to be Batman. Tim goes on his murder mystery tour. Jason goes to prison but not before adopting a weird little girl named Sasha. Dick is left with Batman.

Oops turns out Steph isn't dead she's back and she's Batgirl now and low-key co-parenting Damian with Dick. It's very cute.

Cass is off being Black Bat in Hong Kong and I miss her.

Bruce comes back, Tim is Vindicated, Jason escapes prison and rides off into the sunset with Sasha to go Cause Problems on Purpose. Dick steps down from Batman. Damian continues to be a murder baby and I love him.

And that's not nearly everything but close enough for fic writing purposes up until Flashpoint. I definitely missed things, so feel free to add on. I also again beg you - please stop putting Dick in the Blüd when Jason is still alive, it makes my blood pressure spike every time I see it. You're killing me guys. Pls.

So I just re blogged a post that made me think about this.

All the batboys look more like their moms than their fathers in some way.

Tim and Jason HATE IT with a burning passion. Both for different reasons of course. Tim (as the post that inspired this) is hauntingly beautiful. Just like his mother was and he is so thankful he wasn’t born a girl because he knows he would hate his looks even more than he does now.

Jason literally died because of her, she sold him off to the joker for a chance to escape. This man has MOTHER ISSUES in the biggest block letters you can imagine. Dick made the mistake of saying “she’s obviously who you get your good looks from.” And Jason refused to speak to him for weeks.

Dick will never admit it but he’s forgotten what his parents looked like before they died, he says he looks like the perfect mix of both of them when in reality he’s his mothers carbon copy and he just doesn’t remember it.

Damian is the child that actually looks like a perfect mix of his parents. He looks like a young Bruce but when standing next to Talia a lot of people would say he just looks like a masculine version of her. He takes pride in it and secretly loves it when Bruce makes a comment like “you look so much like your mom when you make that face.”

Bruce knows he looks like his mom, he just refuses to admit it. For years after she died he would see himself in the mirror and see her and it physically pained him. Now when he looks in the mirror, he sees Damian.

Arguing about who is Damian's favorite brother

Jason: Dickhead doesn't count! He's basically the brat's second dad!

Damian: Actually I already have a method in place to determine which one of you wastes of space is my favorite if I'm asked.

Jason: Oh? Don't keep us in suspense then.

Damian: It's simple really. Whoever has the highest kill count at the time is my alleged favorite.

Jason: HA! Suck it losers!

Dick: No fair! I killed the Joker!

Jason: What?

Damian: And while I would normally count that as at least 10, since Father revived him-

Jason: WHAT!?

Damian: Todd, we cannot stop to explain all of the family drama everytime you find yourself out of the loop. You will simply have to unblock us and rejoin the group chat.

Tim: Yeah Jason, get your family updates like the rest of us

Damian: As I was saying, since the Joker isn't dead despite your best efforts, I've decided that your count is at 5.

Jason: So I'm your favorite?

Damian: No. Your confirmed kills are between 20-40. Unfortunately, Drake is my favorite since his confirmed kill count is in the low hundreds.

Dick: I'm sorry. Can someone please explain how my Baby Bird has a kill count at all

Tim, trying to escape through the vents: YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL ASSHOLE!!!

Damian: You swore that you didn't touch my Taj Mahal Lego set. I guess we're both liars

THEY ARE BROTHERS YOUR HONOUR

Dick: Hey, Jas- why the hell are you wearing a bucket hat indoors?

Jason, who wanted to copy his big brother's mullet but accidentally lopped too much hair off: Hey, bucket hats are cool, okay?!

Dick: Alright...?

*4 Years Later*

Jason: 'Sup, Ti- why are you wearing a hat indoors?

Tim, who thought Jason's white stripe was cool and tried to imitate it but accidentally bleached way too much hair: Hats are really cool, Jason

Jason: *realises* oh. Oh my god...

*2 Years Later*

Tim: Hey, brat, did you- uh, why are you wearing a hat at dinner?

Damian, who secretly thinks Tim's eyebrow notch is cool and tried to copy it but accidentally shaved off half an eyebrow: Because hats are cool, idiot

Tim: *softly* oh. I get it now...

This making me realise I love the self sacrificial characters once again

dick grayson is so important to me. he’s kind, he’s so kind, he’s the safety net of the multiverse but he’s so angry. his parents are dead. his brother died and came back all wrong and he couldn’t do anything about it. he had to play the father role to a spoiled angry homicidal ten year old and yeah he loves damian so so much now but it was so hard in the beginning, on top of trying to be there for tim. he has to watch bruce act the way he does and his friends keep dying and he’s so so angry and he’s so tired but he isn’t allowed to be angry because angry dick is scary and angry dick is wrong but he’s so angry but he has to be kind because other people need him and-

Loving this headcannon

Bernard: Hmm...

Jason: What?

Bernard: You look an awful lot like Bruce Wayne's dead son Jason Todd.

Jason: -blue screen-

Bernard: I mean add a few years and pounds.

Jason: Wait. What?!

Bernard: Hmm. -prods Jason- I suppose Wayne Enterprises would have the tech. It would explain a lot...

Jason: I...I have no idea what's going on right now.

Bernard: -dialling Tim- Hey Babe.

-indistinct phone noises-

Jason: Who even are...

-Bernard puts a finger to Jason's lips-

Bernard: Shh, I'm checking something. No sorry Babe, I was shushing the clone.

-loud, angry phone noises, and confused Jason noises-

Bernard: Tim, of course I'm not talking to a Robin, it's daytime. I'm talking to the clone of your adopted brother Jason Todd who I bumped into at the Farmer's Market.

-very angry phone noises-

Bernard: -sighing- Tim I love you, but we all know that Bruce Wayne dated the Batman, which is where the Batman clearly stole the Robin Cloning Tech from...

-angrier phone noises-

Bernard: Look Tim, don't get angry at me that your adopted father's ex doesn't understand boundaries. Anyway, I have to go as your Brother's clone is malfunctioning and a hot red head with a kid is trying to drag him away from my citizen's arrest. Love you!