Monster Donuts

Monster donuts

WARNING: LIVE CONTENTS

How to make:

Step 1: prepare some monster dough. This can be harvested from the doughweed trap. It'll smell a bit rancid, but that can be treated with a few drops of lemon or lime

Step 2: knead the dough until it purrs. Once the dough is happy, add 5 tsp of sugar and 1 tsp of salt. Knead again and repeat

Step 3: gather the eyes. These can be harvested from the eyevine plant. Be careful not to squish them, they're fragile

Step 4: wash the eyes in warm water and keep them covered in a damp towel until you have to use them. They'll be blinking

Step 5: return to the dough and feed it some monster food. You should be able to find this at your grocery store. If not, it's just blood meal. This will plump the dough and prep the yeast

Step 6: mold the dough into donuts and place the eyes, then load your batch into the oven for 30 minutes at 350° degrees. Do not open the oven before they're done or they'll sink and disperse deadly spores

Step 7: decorate the donuts with frosting, chocolate, nuts, sprinkles, or glaze. Do not cover the pores or else the donuts will rot

It is recommended you own a doughweed trap before attempting this dish. Do not jelly these donuts as it will compromise their pores, and do not pull their teeth. You'll know you've baked them right when you bite into them and they don't scream. If they do, return them to the doughweed. The plant will turn them back into dough :)

Anoder ophanim

My app crashed, I don't think the symbols mean anything, the wings are screwy

Amal, a sphinx/leopard hybrid

But she actually looks good here - Egyptian queen type beat 🏜️👑

Eyeball cookies

How to make:

Step 1: gouge out any pairs of eyes, enough to have 10 cookies. Do not use the eyes of the dead. Wash them in cold water and dry them carefully, but not completely

Step 2: roll the eyeballs in sugar and then shape them with dough. Don't make them too big or else they won't cook evenly and the eyes will get buried

Step 3: place the eyeballs in the oven for 15 minutes at 150° degrees until the crust is flesh tone and the eyes are glossy. You've cooked the eyeball cookies for too long when they're bloodshot

Step 4: decorate with cream, coconut, chocolate, or whatever assortments you have. Do not use lemon

Step 5: garnish with eye drops, about 1-2 drops for each eye. For a lemon-y taste, make it 4-5 drops for each eye

Do not apply salt to this dish. Doing so will make the eyeballs shrink. Eyeball cookies are naturally nutty, but if you wish to add almonds, cashews or unsalted peanuts, go right ahead :)

Erykah

An emoji person 😐