Cassian X Fem Reader

Cassian X Fem Reader

Summary: Cassian a loyal friend. One who knows what each one of his family member needs and does his best to provide them with the care they deserve. Being someone's light at the end of their tunnel comes with a price. Sometimes Cassian needs someone to shower him with the love and care he so freely gives to others.

Content Warnings: Poor Mental Health, and not taking care of of one's self properly

Sara's Notes: Hey before you dive in, I need to give credit to @riddlesb1tch for this idea. I ready This fic and it really inspired me so I beg you to read this first!

Tag List Request ACOTAR Masterlist

Dividers by @tsunami-of-tears

Cassian landed on his balcony in the house of wind with a thud, he barely had enough energy to fly to his room. He knew he wouldn’t be able to provide the joy or give his friends the attention they deserved. His body felt weighed down by bricks, each step toward his bed more difficult than the last. He didn’t bother taking off his leathers as he collapsed to his bed.

The general’s thoughts were swarming in rapid speed, and he knew that it would prevent him from sleeping. Guilt slammed into him as though he a wall collapsed on him. Closing his eyes he tried to focus on his breathing as the correlating panic began to build. Cassian bit his lip trying to keep it from wobbling as tears began to pool behind his eyelids. The heavy feeling in his chest not easing, his usual breathing techniques failing him.

The Lord of Bloodshed knew his friends were struggling and relied on him for guidance, a punching bag, a comforting hug. Yet here he was battling an internal war that he was losing. A battle no one close to him knew he was fighting and have been since the war.

Yet guilt was consuming him and he let out a pained whimper. As though his wings were once again shredded.

Cassian was barely able to conjure enough energy to illuminate his siphons let alone be there when his family needed him.

Bustard.

Brute.

Pathetic.

 These feelings would pass, they always did, but first he would rest his eyes and try to not let the weight of world crush him. Try not to let the guilt of letting his family down, of letting you down consume him. And it was the look of disappointment on your features that flashed into his mind before the darkness consumed him whole and his body gave in.

You finished off doing your stretches with Azriel in the training ring looking at the entryway from the house. You were bursting with excitement, as you had just got home from a long mission and missed the routine that came with training, but you had simply missed Cassian. His smile, his warm embrace, the way his hair would tickle your nose when held you tightly in his arms, His presence alone calmed you down on days when your anxiety would spike. A pinky wrapped around your own, a hand on your shoulder, or a wing tucking you closer toward the Illyrian warrior, his touch became one you were dependent on and growing to yearn for.

An hour went by, you refused to move an inch not wanting to start without Cassian, not wanting to miss an opportunity to show him you’d been practicing while you were away. Not wanting to miss the look of pride on his face when he learned you finally mastered the maneuver that had been taking you months to.

Another hour went by.

And another.

It was at the fourth hour that Azriel kissed the crown of your head, “I have to go.” He whispered, but his words fell on deaf ears as you remained planted in the center of the sparring ring; your eyes never leaving the door hoping red illumination would brighten the dark, cold corridor.   “Sweetheart, he is in his room. Go” You turned to see a shadow swirling near his ear, Azriel’s eyes holding a slight worry in them. He splayed a palm on your back and lightly pushed you, urging you to go inside.

You wrapped your arms around the shadowsinger before he could began pushing you to the doorway, “Safe travels, Az.”  You pulled away and bolted into the enchanted house that you, Azriel and Cassian called home. The hall became a blur of blacks and grays until you reached the familiar door of the General’s room. You lightly knocked, “Cassian,” you called out slightly out of breath by your endeavor silence met you after you called out to him. You knocked once more, “Hey, I missed you at training this morning.” You had missed him, his smile, his warm hazel eyes, his beautiful silky hair. Being away from him for so long left an ache in your chest. “Cassie?”

Worry etched your eyebrow; you opened the door just enough to peek inside. Cassian’s back was facing you, wings tucked in. His curtains were drawn tightly ensuring no sun came into his room. His shoulders were rising and falling in slow steady beats, all indication that he was asleep. “I’ll check in on you later then, sleepy boy,” you whispered. Shutting the door you began walking away, concern weighing down on you with every step away from the Lord of Bloodshed’s door. Approaching the stairs you paused, looking back at the shut door. Your heart aching for the male on lying on the other side.

Cassian listened for the door to latch before he allowed the tears to cascade down his cheeks. Guilt overrides his senses and for a brief moment he wasn’t thinking about those heavy burdens he shouldered. His only thought was that in the haze of his grief and self-loathing he failed the one person he cared for most:

You.

The General knew you were coming home, and he had tried to swallow the heaviness of his feelings for you, but his bones felt as though they were weighted down. The guilt of missing your training had caused him to groan in pain and suddenly he wasn’t reaching to get out of his bed. No, his mind took him to the last time he crawled to you.

Cassian had heard your scream from the sky, only to find you clutching your side as you collapsed to the floor, not before you sunk your blade into the chest of your attacker, the strike hitting true to the target. Distracted by your injury, Cassian had left himself open for an attack and several ash arrows pierce the leather of his wings. The male howled in pain as he tumbled to the ground as Hybern’s armies pushed the line.

Colliding with the solid ground he heard the snapping of his bone, and he winced in pain. Blinking away the blood from his eyes, he lifted his head, and his blood ran cold. You were curled in a fetal position, your leathers torn and sweat coated hair struck to the side of your face, not noticing the Hybern soldier preparing his sword behind you. With a lift of his hand he summoned his power, what little he had left to spare and blast the soldier away from you. You were quick to cover your ears with a whimper escaping your lips.

The General began to crawl with his one functioning arm, gritting his teeth as he did so. The strain on his body, sweat and blood swirling together and dripping along side his face. The battle around him since forgotten he had one goal in mind and that was reach you.

“Sweetheart,” Cassian called out as he reaches out his hand, “Come to me.”

“It hurts Cassian, my whole body feels like it’s on fire. Make it stop. Please. Make it stop.”

 Cassian placed a pillow over his face as the sounds of your pleas rang in his head:

Please

Please

Please

Cassian let out a sob, and another one until his cries drowned out the strained voice of your own from all those years ago. Before he could stop them, his mind began to spiral into all his failings.

Azriel; never getting the protection he deserved as a child.

Rhysand sacrificing fifty years of his life in order to keep him and Velaris safe.

Feyre being forced to return to the spring.

Nesta and Elain being made.

Azriel’s wings getting shredded.

You getting injured on the battlefield.

The pained expression of yours when he left that night after Nesta on solstice, as you held out a gift out with his name on it.

Cassian hated himself for making you feel like you were less than. What you didn’t know was that when you ran out to get his gift Nesta had made a cruel comment about your character right as she collected her money for rent and made her way to her seedy apartment. Cassian’s anger and protectiveness of you won out from his rationality to let the eldest Archeron walk away. The cost was seeing the hurt on your face that you tried so desperately to hide from him had broken something in him. You suddenly became quiet; you were biting your lip so that it wouldn’t betray your real emotions.

Not being able to handle another moment of your behavior; the Lord of Bloodshed had scooped you in his arms and pressed your face into his shoulder. In mere minutes, he felt your shoulders shake and the sound that followed had been branded on Cassian’s soul. The blood curdling cry finally releasing the months of pent-up emotions from the war and everything that predated it was released. The rest of the Inner Circle were quick to leave the duo to their privacy as Cassian soothingly rubbed your back, whispering sweet words to calm you down.

The two of you had never talked about that night but by the next day you were bantering with him as though nothing happened, but he could see the distance in your eyes. As a result, he pushed you harder in training until you had let out all the fears and doubts that had crept into your mind after years of keeping quiet about it.

Cassian had felt guilty and still did about not being able to see how you were hurting and withdrawing from the others. He had failed you in so many ways. He couldn’t even pull a recent memory of when you smiled at him last and in its place the pained expression on the battlefield urged Cassian out of bed to try to find you. The General’s limbs still weighed him down and he only managed a few steps before his legs failed him and he collapsed to his knees. He didn’t have the energy to cry out in pain. Instead, he collapsed onto the cool carpet and resigned to lay there until the weight of his chest lifted or caused his heart to stop beating all together.

He simply wasn’t aware that there was a shimmering gold connection blown opened wide, and his emotions were flooding to the one person he didn’t want to see like this.

You.

You sat in the dining hall and pushed around your food once again keeping your eyes glued to the door where the hall was illuminated by dimmed fae lights. You waited for Cassian to come join you for dinner figuring he would be awake by then. You pressed your lips in a tight line opting to drop your fork on your plate and smooth out the skirt of the new red gown you had bought. The gown was the finest silk with a corset bodice that had mesh revealing your bare skin. You wanted to look nice for the occasion of finally being able to See Cassian.

He never appeared; you had waited until the candles had burned down to nubs before you rose. “Bring me a plate, please.” You called out and the house provided a plate of all of Cassian’s favorites along with a goblet of wine. “Thank you.” Straightening your spine you rose from your seat; grabbing the plate and the wine and set off toward Cassian’s room.

Something was wrong. You felt it in the tightness in your chest as you grew near his room.  You were halfway down the hall when you felt it.

Anguish.

Self-Loathing.

Guilt.

You gritted your teeth to ground yourself from the waves of emotion bombarding you but it’s what came after that caused you to drop the plate and goblet in your hands, not caring that the contents have splashed up onto your skirts. The feeling causing tears to prickle in the back of your eyes.

Numbness

“Cassian!” You screamed, as you bolted toward his room. You reached his room, not caring that you slammed his door almost pulling it from its hinges. The sight before you elicited a sob to escape your throat. “Cassian.” You whimper.

The male you admired more than anything in this world was lying on the ground; his eyes puffy and glossed over his cheeks, having fresh tears streaming down. You slowly approach the male, and with a furrowed brow and tears falling of your own, you lay on the floor beside him. His arm instinctively gripped your waist. Your tender fingers find his face, and his dulled hazel eyes look into yours. “Cassie, what’s going on?”

“I’m Fine.” His voice was hoarse as if he spent most of the day crying.

“You’re not.” You countered.

“I will be.”

Your thumb stroked the stray tears from his face, and you shake your head. “No, Baby.” You sighed, pressing your forehead against his, and he gripped your waist tighter. “What happened?”

Cassian could feel the emotions stirring again and as if his darkness called to you, you responded with light and the feelings of love, and being cared for flooded him combating the dark feelings he was close to fully submitting to. “It’s too much. I feel like I’m drowning.” He whispered, his thumb stroking your waist and feeling the mesh material, solidifying you were here.

You had come for him.

You pulled your head away from his and rose to your feet. “On your feet, General.” Cassian sits up as you hold out your hand for him to take. His calloused fingers wrap around yours and you help pull him up to his feet quickly placing his arm over your shoulder your arm slid around his waist. Cassian took in your scent of berries and a hint of vanilla, and the weight lifted slightly from his chest.

“I can take care of myself.” Cassian grumbles as he hears the house start the water for a bath for him.

“I know you can.” Your tone soft, tears were still running down your face. “Your hurting, and its clear you need someone to take care of you.” You looked up at him and your thumb rubs lazy circles on the top of his hand. “Cassian, you always take such great care of me.” You gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “Allow me to take care of you. Please.”

Cassian took a moment to study your face, sadness was there but not an ounce of pity in your features. You looked determined to help whether he agreed or not. “Okay.”

You grinned at him and sharply took a breath, relieved that that he could do so without the dark wall crushing his lungs. You were the light that he needed; your touch mended wounds not visible to the naked eye but have been festering inside Cassian for centuries. And then you led him to the bathroom and helped him remove his leathers. Cassian simply knew one thing.

You were his salvation.

The warmth of the bath loosened the tense muscles of the Illyrian warrior. He hummed as the warm water caressed his wings. Cassian’s eyes slid to where you were gathering supplies, noticing the new dress you were wearing and how it hugged your figure beautifully. His eyes drifted down, and guilt bubbled up as he saw the stains on the bottom. “Where did the stains on your dress came from?” Cassian cleared his throat as it was still dry, and you moved closer with a glass of water in your hands and various soaps.

“Don’t worry about it.” You muttered kneeling down beside him and reaching toward him gently placing the glass to his lips and he greedily took large swigs, the cold water easing the soreness of his throat. You smiled at him as you placed the glass down.

Reaching for some soap Cassian gripped your wrist, “Did you ruin your new dress because of me?” Your eyes widened, his voice wavered, you had never seen this side of Cassian before.

You sighed. Standing up you begin to undo the corset. Cassian tilted his head in confusion until you let the bodice fall and the skirts pulled at your feet and Cassian couldn’t help but stare at your ethereal form. You picked up your dress and walked out of the room. Moments go by before Cassian hears the roar of the fire crackling and you have returned with one of his shirts on your body. “There. Nothing to worry about now.” You smiled as you took your spot kneeling beside him.

“Sweetheart-

“Hush, Cassian.” He shut his mouth, “You will always be more important to me than a silly dress.” You gently tilt his head back and wet his hair. He watched you work as you lathered the shampoo in your hands and began massaging his scalp. He groaned and you smiled as you could feel the weight of what he’s been holding onto begins to melt away. Feeling brave you asked, “Do these episodes happen often?” You rinse out his hair meeting his eyes.

“They have been more frequent as of late. This was the first time; I couldn’t manage it.” Cassian murmured. As you warmed the soap you would use to wash his body. He continued as you began to rub the rag down his back, “It started small, things I could handle, a fleeting insecurity here. An insult that lingered over there. Lately though.” He sighed. As you began to delicately wash his wings, something you had done countless times before. “It feels like the thoughts build and stack on each other until one day the comes in a colossal wave and I get swept up in the current.”

You paused and angled yourself so you could meet his eyes. “Cassian, does this happen when everyone is coming to you for their problems?” Cassian averted your gaze but your delicate hand against his chin had him looking back at you. “Be honest.”

The General nodded his head. He watched as You schooled your features into one of neutrality, but Cassian knew better.

You were blaming yourself.

“Stop it.” He quipped.

“Stop what?” You throw back as you finish washing his body.

“Stop blaming yourself.”

“I’m not.”

“You are.” You handed him a towel as you crossed your arms. Wrapping the towel around his waist he approached you and you had to crane your neck to look at him. “Sweetheart, I’m okay.”

“You’re not.” You whispered, “Cassian, I Felt what you were feeling. It felt as though someone was ripping my heart out.” You gripped his hand on your own and placed a gentle kiss to his knuckles. “I’m sorry I should have seen the signs. I failed you.”

Cassian’s eyes widened at her words. “You almost died under my command.” He whispered. Your head whipped up at his confession.

“No, baby.” You shook your head, “What happened at Hybern was my mistake, but something tells me that no matter how hard I try to convince you. You won’t be convinced. We can talk about it. Tomorrow. Tonight is simply about taking care of you.” You led him into the bedroom and Cassian squeezed your hand looking for comfort.

And his lips tilt upward when he felt a light squeeze in return.

Cassian was in heaven. He had you straddling his lap watching the flames erupt as you brushed his long dark hair. His calloused hands skimmed your thighs his thumb tracing circles idly on your bare skin. Placing your hands on his shoulders you smiled, “Can I braid your hair?”

Cassian rolled his eyes, “No.”

His honey glazed eyes slowly returning from the dull pits they were, stared at you as you pouted. Rolling his eyes for a second time, “Fine.” Your face brightening caused him to smile, and you paused as you slid off his lap. “What?”

“You smiled for the first time today?” You whispered, “I was worried I was getting annoying.”

“Rhys is annoying. Mor is annoying. Your company, my dear,” He took a steadying breath grabbing your hand. “Brings me out of the darkest corners of my mind.” He began kissing the inside of your palm, “My light.” He kissed your thumb, and you could barely get air in your passageways, “My star.” He kept kissing fingers until his eyes locked on yours. “My mate.” He kissed your pulse point on your wrist. Before releasing you, fighting every urge to kiss you. “How long did you know?”

“The war.” You shift on your feet. “I should have told you-

Cassian gripped your waist, and you sat back on his lap, the idea of braiding his hair long gone. His mouth seals over yours for a gentle chaste kiss. “I knew too.” The words warm the gold bond that is shining brighter since you arrived. “This wasn’t how I wanted to have this conversation.”

You ran your fingers through his hair. “Cass, I don’t want to have this conversation tonight. We have to talk about other things.”

He tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “I know, Let’s talk about it tomorrow. All of it.” He cups your cheek, and you lean into his palm. “Right now, I would like to sleep.”

Your eyes locked onto his. “Tomorrow?” You question.

He gives a curt nod. “Tomorrow.”

You smile, “Let’s go to bed.”

Cassian held you in his arms as you slept nuzzled against his bare chest. His wings provide you with extra warmth. He smiled as the female of his dreams was his, and with her near, the loud dark voices faded away as new ones took its place.

Loved.

Worthy.

Brave.

Mated.

A loving friend.

A kind soul.

Words you had used to describe him before you fell asleep and in tandem with you sending love down the bond Cassian believed he could be those things. That he was worth asking for help as much as he was willing to provide it. He kissed the top of your head, and you tucked your head deeper in his chest. “I love you, sweetheart.”

You didn’t stir or mumble anything in return, but he could feel your love through the bond and his eyes watered at the overwhelming joy.

He was worthy of having a mate.

Worthy of having someone to go on adventures with.

Worthy to have someone pull him from the depths of his despair as he had done countless times for others.

Worthy of Laughing.

Worthy of joy.

Worthy of you.

Cassian, General of the Night Court’s Armies, The Lord of Bloodshed was Worthy

~Fin

Story Tags: @milswrites @lady-of-tearshed @thelov3lybookworm @berryzxx @pit-and-the-pen

@lilah-asteria @kylaisra @nickishadow139 @aelincaddel @demirunner

@tsunami-of-tears @readychilledwine @enchantingcupcakecollectionfan @writeroutoftime

@writingcroissant

If I forgot to tag you i'm sorry! Please give me a gentle reminder or comment on my Tag List Request linked above.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.......

I love Cheolie

— mission; steal his dimples | c.sc

genre; tooth-rotting fluff, established relationship, gn! reader | tw; mentions of food. | a/n; in my soft era. been wanting to write this forever. i love how im writing anything but my wips :)) anyways, enjoy this!

you push open the door gently, peeking your head in to ensure that all is clear. clear. a triumphant smile sits on your lips as you tip-toe into the chambers you shared with your lover. there he is. 

seungcheol lies asleep on the bed, warmed by the blanket you both crocheted on a sleepless night. his face sticks out from it, an adorable mess of hair with the cutest cheeks possible. a sigh escapes your lips at the sight blessing your eyes. 

the mattress dips when you crawl onto it with sly resolve. he stirs in his sleep, shifting his body to face your side of the bed. your heart warms when his hands search for you, but a frown settles on his lips when he can't find you. instead, he settles for a pillow, snuggling into it. 

you don't immediately go for the killer move. instead, you cast a warm smile to his figure and give feather-light pats to his hair, careful to not wake him up. then, you pat his stomach through the blanket and smile again (not like the smile ever left your face). 

it wasn't midnight. rather, the sun is setting just now, casting a side of the world in a farewell glow. but your lover was knocked out in a siesta after having his stomach filled with food and love. the soft cushion of his stomach makes your smile widen. 

seungcheol was firm and sturdy throughout the first months you had known him, both by soul and body. but his barriers broke down one by one and, you were introduced to a softer and more fragile version of him. and he complained (lovingly) about how his muscles were disappearing due to all the food you were feeding him. 

that was years ago, and now you are sharing a home with him. and since then, you have seen multiple versions of him come and go, but one thing is sure, you love seungcheol, and you will for as long as you breathe. 

you breathe in shakily and blink away the tears with a shake of your head. focus! getting distracted during a mission could be deadly. and just as you are about to proceed further, you realise something. the dimples! they are missing! 

with an existential crisis in tow, you realise that he has to smile for them to appear. you slap your forehead and stare at him with a blank face. “admired me enough?” 

you yelp as he pulls you down to the mattress, caging you in his arms and nuzzling his nose into your neck. you laugh, “oh, forgive this poor soul for admiring you.” you exclaim dramatically, and he giggles at your antics. a wide smile adorns his face, causing his dimples to pop out. there they are.

you decide to take the chance, leaning in to quickly kiss both of his dimples. “ha! i stole your dimples,” you announce, quickly escaping from his arms and making a run for it. but your speed would dwindle in comparison to his strength as he pulls you back to the bed.

he makes you lay on the bed, effectively caging you with his whole body now. laughter shakes the bed as he tickles you with a love-drunk smile. you turn your head away from him, avoiding his kisses “to take his dimples back.”

“no, they are mine now!” he tickles you further, and you give in. your lips melt into his kiss, and you hold his face, enjoying the softness of them. he sighs, breaks the kiss, and leans his forehead on yours. with a kiss on your nose, he lays beside you, hand intertwined with yours.  

“i got them back.” he boasts his dimples and pushes out his tongue at you. you pout and complain, “you are so greedy! at least give one to me.” he laughs, and you smile. he shows his cheek with a faux begrudging sigh, “fine.” 

you beam, eagerly kissing one of his dimples. “i have one now,” you poke at your cheek, showing him the “dimple.” seungcheol smiles at your antics, pulling you to him to shower your face with kisses. you smile too, and your cheeks hurt, but you couldn't care less.

the sun has settled by now, gleams of moonlight seep through the window, and a serene silence saturates the air. you lay on his chest as he rubs his hand up and down your back, slowly lulling you to sleep. but seungcheol, who had just woken up, is occupied with other thoughts. 

“we should get married.”

your sleep dissipates, and you stare up at him with slight shock. this isn't the first time he has brought up marriage. but this time, it's different. there's assurance in his voice, and the look in his eyes tells you that he's not joking. 

“if i knew that stealing your dimples would have you proposing a marriage, i would've done it long ago.” you joke, pressing a kiss to his lips. “but why? all of a sudden..” you trail, again laying on his chest. and you hear his heartbeat. his heart that he willingly traded for yours long ago. 

he hesitates but still answers, “i.. well. when i think of kids, i can only imagine them with your eyes and your smile.” tears well up in your eyes, and you sniff, feeling like the happiest person on earth. 

“yea? when i think of kids, i imagine them to have your dimples too.”

tags; @seungkwanschicken @aaa-sia @dokyeomkyeom @bangantokchy @jespecially

@asyre @armycarat2612 @bewoyewo (send an ask to be added on the taglist!)

👀 'tis me, i loved the other one so much ❤️❤️❤️, and am back with this wAcky idea muahahaaa:

batboy (you choose) x villain!reader

they are supposed to hate each other because of circumstances (you choose) BUT they got caught in a fight and are working together. after that fight, batboy finds that reader is actually a HUGE softie, and has never really had relationships, and when batboy does find out, he teases reader to embarrassment. they end up falling in love they kiss and fluffy things, under the moonlight, but then reader goes spiraling. like- is it safe to do this? is it okay to show weakness like that? will they put batboy in danger? and they are on the verge of a panic attack. they run away from batboy, which breaks both of them 🥹. reader avoids batboy for months, not really coping with their feelings, having panic attacks every night and all. and then one night, batboy sees reader fighting in an alley. reader takes out the thugs quickly and batboy approaches, and he can see through reader's eyes a whirlwind of emotions and it breaks his heart... and then they somehow make up and a lot of fluff pleeasee <3 (omg it's not totally angst 🥹)

ilyyy muah! (platonic ofc 😘)

Bullet With Butterfly Wings

⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

Note: This is so cute! I love this idea and I hope you like it. I just wanted to make a side note and say that i am queer, and whilst I am very happy to write romantically for the batboys, It may not be super great (which is why most of my work is platonic tbh) so apologies in advance for that. I also chose to write for Jay so I hope that's okay!

Warnings: Canon typical violence, Minor injuries, self doubt, manipulative parent (bane) but only brief, swearing teasing, kissing but no smut (SFW)

Word Count: 5k (it took me 40 years but it was worth it)

⛧ BATFAM MASTERLIST ⛧

⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

Jason Todd was your enemy.

That is what you have always been told. It had been ingrained in you since you were very young. Batman and his band of proteges were a nuisance. Bothers. Vermin that needed to be exterminated from Gotham. Your father had countless rivalries: and that had extended to you. Your whole life was dedicated to training to cause havoc and trying to remove Gothams vigilantes.

Jason Todd was your enemy. And you despised him. He despised you too. Not that you cared, he had every right to. Your father had broken his many times.

He had always been tricky. He slunk around the shadows and always put a stop to your fun. His brothers weren’t much better. So when he was killed… you should have been ecstatic. You should have clenched your fists in rage when he returned…but instead you felt…lost.

Jason Todd was your enemy. So why were you helping him…?

You had heard the commotion from nearly a block over. The cacophony of shattering glass, the ricochet of bullets followed by the screeching of the building's alarm: you were over there speedily, tugging your pistols from your holsters as you weaved towards the orange glow of the flickering lights.

The building was completely destroyed. The windows were smashed in, spidering where the bullets had passed through them or jagged where what looked like a brick had been lobbed into it. The frames of the windows were completely broken too, splintering under the brute force of the coloured bandits that had weasled their way inside. Dressed in unsubtle colours, they seemed to be searching for something; they overturned desks and sent an array of papers scattering to the ground. It was that or they were just looking to have fun. You smirked, taking a step closer to the building ready to join them but then you caught a flash of the triangular emblem they had haphazardly spray painted on the back of their jackets and cursed. Safe to say that they weren’t going to tolerate you being near them. Your father had royally pissed them off. More than once. But who were you to back down from a fight?

Shouldering your weapons, you stepped closer crouching to try and keep out of their sight. It was going to be much easier for you if you could take them by surprise. Much more entertaining for you too. Though it seemed that luck wasn’t on your side because one of them, a tall girl with blonde hair she had tied back in a braid, turned her head just before you could dash out of the way and with a cry of your alias, all heads turned to you.

There was no use hiding now your cover was blown so with your guns raised high you aimed and fired. They were quick to retaliate and with their the sheer number of them it was difficult to predict their movements and stay out of their line of fire despite all of your training. The whole ordeal was a mess, bullets and punches flew left, right and centre. The whole ordeal only got a fuck ton more complicated when he arrived. The knight in fucking black and red armour. He perched on top of the roof, teetering dangerously to the edge, before landing on his feet only a few metres away, no doubt with a smug grin hidden behind his red mask. It didn’t do him much good. You knew exactly who he was and it hadn’t taken you much to figure it out. But perhaps that was because you were much more perceptive than most. Perhaps it was because you spent far too much time thinking about him.

Red Hood stood towering over you, glaring at you through his brows. He tutted. “Y/N Bane. Should have known you would be here.”

“And miss the chance to beat your pretty face?” You mocked. “You should know better.”

Red Hood rolled his eyes, shifting his weight as he reached for his weapon. He looked as though he was going to say something; another jest or sly remark, but the moment was ruined when one of the bandits ran up behind him bearing a weapon he intended to plunge into the vigilantes side. However he was much quicker, twisting around to grab the boy by his wrists and flinging him over his shoulder. He landed with a grunt before trying to grab at Red Hood's legs. You beat him to it though, landing a harsh blow to his back and sending him slumping back to the ground.

That seemed to set the rest of them off and all of a sudden the pair of you were surrounded. The street quickly became a flurry of punches and rounds of bullets that lodged themselves in the crackstone bricks or ricocheted off of the metal pipes with a cloud clang. None of them found their mark. Strange for a group of people who wielded their weapons so confidently.

It seemed to be going well. Some sort of unseen rivalry seemed to bloom between you and Red Hood, trying to see who could take the most thugs down. Those that didn’t flee dropped like flies. But you were outnumbered. And even though the pair of you were twice as skilled as them combined, you began to find it difficult to push them back.

Darting into the building to shelter from their hail of bullets, you managed to take down the pair that were hurtling things at Hood. And then it all fell silent.

Exhaling heavily, you wiped the sweat from your brow and holstered your weapons after checking the coast was clear. Smirking, you slid out of the doorway ready to jest to the vigilante. But he seemed to be nowhere to be seen. You rolled your eyes. Coward.

“Given up already?” You jested. “Honestly for a man of your size it thought that you would last a lot longer than-”

Your stomach sank when you turned the corner and saw the vigilante hunched up against the wall, his one hand pressed firmly into the wall, the other pushing hard up against his right side. His breaths came in short, ragged gasps as he tried to catch his breath, his back still turned away from you. You furrowed your brow, taking a hesitant step toward him. It was then that you noticed the crimson that oozed between his fingers.

“Here to finish me off?” He spat, words laced with a thick and potent venom.

“I’m thinking about it.”

He turned toward you, his body jolting in agony as he twisted. From there you could see the two small but ragged circles that jutted out from his suit; one above his left hip and the other a few inches to the right of it. Only one of them seemed to have an exit wound.

“Get on with it then.” He grumbled trying to keep his composure. You could see the way his legs trembled as he tried to keep his composure. “They’re not coming any time soon.” He gestured to his coms. The screen was blank. Broken. “Comms are down.” his voice was torn up by a sickening cough. “But I'd get it over with quickly so you can leave before they catch your trail.”

Your fingers twitched as you reached for your pistol. Instinct. You should finish him off. It would make your father proud. It would end your years of resentment and it would bring you oh so much glorious fame. He was already practically cowering on the ground; an easy kill. Jason Todd was your enemy. You should have pulled the trigger. But instead, you found yourself darting forward as Jason as his body careened forwards.

~

When Jason awoke, he did so in a panic. His eyes were wide and his heart pounded in his chest. It was only when he tried to push himself up and was met by a sudden pinch in his side that everything came back to him. He didn’t recognise his surroundings. The walls were decorated in artwork that he didn’t recognise, and he was laying in a bed with streets that belonged to a stranger. He scrambled for his pistols only to realise that they weren’t there. And that his mask had been removed.

“Lay back down, you idiot.” You scolded from across the room. “Your wounds are still healing, And relax.” You gestured to his mask and the top half of his suit that you had folded up and laid on a chair. It was then that he realised that he was not wearing his shirt and that the eternity of his torso was wrapped securely in bandages. “I knew who you were.”

Jason had to do a double take. But he soon turned sour. “What the fuck am I doing here?”

You scoffed, placing the glass of water you had brought in on the bedside table. “A thank you would be nice.”

“I’m serious” he narrowed his eyes on you.

You faltered, eyeing him cautiously and pursing your lips. Truthfully, you had struggled to get him back to your apartment. You had to move fast with the amount of blood he had lost. You were glad that he lost consciousness when he did because although you should have left him there to rot… you couldn’t bear the thought of seeing him writhe beneath you as you dug a pair of tweezers under his skin to dig out the bullet.

The vigilante eyed you cautiously, still confused as to why you had decided to drag him all the way back here. It couldn’t have been easy for you. He watched as you dug around in one of the draws in your bedroom. He had never seen you properly without your suit on. And he could fully see your face now it wasn’t obscured by the black and white mask that sat comfortably around your eyes. Jason stared for a little too long and found his thoughts wandering a little too far for his liking. He was supposed to loathe you. He was supposed to think you were vile. But yet again…you were the furthest thing from what he had convinced himself to believe.

“You’re staring.” You could feel his eyes on you.

Jason’s cheeks flushed and he turned his gaze away. Rolling your eyes you tossed him a bottle of painkillers that you had pulled out of the mess of your draw. They rattled as they hit the side of the plastic container when he caught them.

“Take some of those. They should help with the ache.

He gave you an unamused look, hand hovering on the seal.

“Relax, bird boy. If I wanted you dead you would be.”

Jason popped two in his mouth hesitantly and swallowed them down with the water you had left on the side. A loud buzzing sounded from out of the room. You disappeared briefly out of the doorway. Not being able to see you made him nervous, but you returned soon with two items in your hand. The first, his phone and the source of the incessant buzzing, and the second his comlink which was no longer dark like it was before but instead was lit up around the crack on the screen. You handed the two to him.

“You might want to let them know that you’re alive. That damn thing’s been going off all night.” You told him.

“You fixed it.” Jason gawped, turning the small device over in his hands.

You shrugged. “Had to make sure the GPS was off. Besides, I had nothing better to do.”

After sending a quick message to reassure his family that he was alive, Jason frowned at you. “Why are you helping me?”

You faltered. Why were you helping him? It went completely against everything you had been taught. But you hadn’t really thought much about what you were doing. It was like your body was on autopilot, moving without thought of feeling and just following someone’s orders blindly. You shrugged at him. “It just felt like the right thing to do.”

Jason practically laughed. “But doesn’t that go against your entire image?”

“There is a lot you don’t know about me, Todd.”

The vigilante smirked, the corners of his lips creeping upward. Snarky. He liked you. “Then perhaps I should get to know you more.”

~

No matter how hard he tried, Jason couldn’t take his mind off you. Even once he had long returned home, he couldn’t get the image of your face out of his thoughts. There was something about you that was just so enthralling to him. And that bothered him greatly. His hours passed by quickly as he thought of you. What you had done. And god he was so conflicted. But the part of him that seemed to want to inch closer to you won.

After struggling to pull on his hoodie, no thanks to the dull ache that still emimated from his wounds, he slipped on his shoes and trudged down the stairs. He was just about to slip out of the door when a voice stopped him.

“Jay?” Dick asked, scowling at his brother. “Where are you going?”

“Out?”

“Again? You’ve only just got back after completely wiping off the radar and now you’re sneaking off?”

“I wasn’t sneaking.”

Dick cocked his brow.

The younger Wayne sighed and with a roll of his eyes told him defensively “It’s nothing, Grayson.”

Jason slipped out of the door.

Even though he had only been there once, Jason seemed to practically have the route to your apartment engraved in his mind. After all, he had walked in over and over again in his head as he thought about returning to see you. Although he was confident on how to get there, when he stood in front of the door with his fist poised to rap against the panel, a very rare occurrence happened to Jason. He was nervous. His stomach fluttered and churned underneath the bandages and then the door flew open.

And there you stood. You looked more awake than before. Perhaps because you had actually managed to get some sleep since he had left. It had been a well needed rest. The ache in your bones from the previous night had nearly vanished once you awoke. However, similarly to the vigilante, when you awoke you too had found your mind wandering back to the boy you had dragged back into your home.

There he was. Standing in your doorway.

“Todd?” You darkened your brow. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“I came to get to know you.”

Gripping his wrist you pulled him inside and shut the door behind you.

~

You and Jason had grown close very quickly. After he had slunk up to your apartment, the pair of you exchanged numbers. This led to many rendezvous and you began to actually enjoy spending time with him. He was an intricate person. He had so many layers to him, each one more interesting than the next. He had also discovered that there was much more to you than your facade let on. You were kind, funny, and deeply compassionate despite your history. It was ironic really. But that made Jason love you even more. He loved the way you smiled with your eyes and the way they lit up when you saw something you adored. He loved the curves of your cheekbones, your nose, your jawline and your figure. He had grown to love your laugh and the way your voice softened when you were tired. He loved all of you. But he wasn’t sure if you so much as even liked him back.

It would be a complete lie to say didn’t. Slowly, the pair of you began to open up to each other. You knew little about his past and hearing him open up about it brought tears to your eyes. That was the first time that you had hugged him. Wrapping him up in your arms seemed to come almost naturally and despite the fact that Jason wasn’t a huge people person, he found himself leaning into your embrace. The two of you began to learn things about each other very quickly. You would tell him something and he would exchange the favour. Countless hours were spent as the two of you messaged back and forth or lounged around on your couch as you talked over the movies you tried to watch but failed because you couldn’t tear your eyes off of him. He was smart and he was kind and it was nice to have someone to really open up to. You had never really had that before Jason. Of course, when he found out about that and your lack of relationships, he couldn’t help but tease you. He thought it was adorable the way that your cheeks flushed and you shrunk into yourself.

Tonight, you were sitting on a hillside. It was a little far out of the city, but Jay had insisted that it was going to be worth it. Reluctantly, but with a little grin, you had followed him up the small hill.

The view was truly magnificent. From here, you had a view of the entire city. You could see all of the lights flickering throughout the skyscrapers and the neon lights of the signs as they reflected off of the dark windows. But what was even more magical were the stars. They twinkled above you brighter than a thousand diamonds all at once. It made your breath catch in your throat. With all of the light pollution in Gotham, it was hard to see the stars. But out here you could see them in all of their beauty. So as you lay back in the grass, basking in the moonlight while Jay pointed out the constellations, you twisted your body to sit face him. He returned the motion, looking at you with gentle eyes and a smile touching his lips.

“Thank you for bringing me here, Jay.” You told him. “It truly is beautiful here.”

He nodded, speaking softly. “I’m glad you like it.”

“I’ve never seen so many stars.” You said, inching yourself up so that you were sitting. “Though I suppose that’s because I’ve never really been out of Gotham.”

Jason raised an eyebrow. This was something new. “No?”

You shook your head as he too sat up. “Never. My father never let me.”

This surprised the vigilante somewhat, but he remained silence and let you continue.

“He’s… protective. And somewhat controlling.” you trailed off. “I know he just wants me to follow in his footsteps but for my entire life I’ve been following his command blindly. It’s always what he wants. He’s never once stopped and thought about what I want.”

Jason reached out a delicate hand to brush away a stray hair, tucking it back behind your ear. “And what is it that you want?”

“This.” You breathed out.

Tenderly, he leaned forward to interlock his lips with yours. They were soft and gentle and he kissed you with a gentle amorous touch. His hands brushed the back of your hair, tangling in your locks as you returned the kiss, leaning into his touch.

~

Being with Jason was more than you could ever have imagined. It was a different kind of love. Something you had never really experienced before. It was filled with gentle exchanges of touches, reassurances of your love for each other, gifts and small trinkets that you would buy for each other when it reminded you of them and so so much more. With Jay, you could just be yourself and he loved you for it. There was no more trying to keep up a facade that perhaps was much more of an act influenced by your father than you thought it was. Everything was perfect.

Until it wasn’t.

You and Jay had been going out for a few months when it happened. You had returned home after a late night stroll with him to find your father sitting on your couch. He was angry, face contorting with dark lines when he narrowed his eyes at you.

“Dad?” You asked, trying to hide the evidence of your outing from him. “What are you doing here?”

“Don’t play coy with me.” He spat standing to tower above you. “I know exactly that’s going on with you and that little bird.”

He took a step forward, intending to intimidate you but you held your ground.

“How long did you think you could keep that hidden?”

“I don’t see what that’s any of your business.” You grit your teeth.

“I am your father. I made you who you are. Without me you would be nothing.” His words dripped with venom as he backed you into the wall.

“That’s exactly the point! You've never once stopped to consider what I want!”

Bane's face hardened and he leaned forward to speak to you in a scarily hushed tone and he gripped your wrists so hard you were sure it was going to leave a bruise later. “Now you listen here you insolent little girl. Either you stop running around with Bruce Wayne’s little protege or I will end him and I will make you watch. You understand.”

You didn’t meet his eyes. Instead you found a spot on the carpet to burn your gaze onto.

“I said, do you understand?” He raised his voice and you could feel your heart pounding against your rib cage.

“Yes, Father.” You admitted with defeat. He released his firm grip.

“Good.” Bane moved back towards the door. “Because I mean it.”

Without another word he turned on his heel and slammed the door behind him.

You crumpled to the floor, your body wracked with sobs that forced their way out from your ragged gasps.

And then your phone buzzed. His name displayed brightly on the screen.

Jason: Hey baby. D’you get in okay?

It was one of his usual messages. He sent them often when he couldn’t walk you back to your door. Sometimes even when he had walked you back and made sure you got inside with a parting kiss. You couldn’t blame him for being cautious. You had seen eachother fretting for the other when you came home with injuries. It was normal for Jason. But now it felt so wrong.

Opening the message your fingers hesitated over the keypad as you thought about your fathers warning. Was he right? Were you putting Jay at risk. Would it just be better if you. No. You tried to clear the thought from your mind.

You: Fine. Sorry for keeping you waiting.

You replied, waiting for the small bubble to finish typing.

Jason: you sure you’re okay baby?

You: of course. Why wouldn’t I be?

Jason: No reason. I just had this feeling.

You: Oh? Well I’m fine I promise. Night Jay.

You were in fact, not fine.

~

The next time you saw Jason your heart was racing. And not in the good way. In the “I think I’m going to hurl” way.

You had been thinking about him nonstop. About how much joy he brought you. How you could never fathom leaving him. But Bane's words kept replaying in your head. Seeing him had brought a part of your old self back. The part that you had long since tried to move past. Was being with Jason making you weak? You had told him so much that it felt as if he knew you inside and out. Was it okay to show vulnerability to him like that? You had been thinking a million thoughts at once. But the one that stuck out most to you was ‘am I putting Jason in danger?’ Would your selfishness of wanting to be with him cost him his life. You had tried to tell yourself that you were being silly. That Jason could handle himself. He was the infamous Red Hood. But you knew Jay. And you knew Bane. So you knew that if he put his mind to it, Jason Todd would die.

And that was why you needed to leave.

When Jason arrived he greeted you with a bright grin that only made your stomach sink deeper into your abyss of guilt. You took a deep breath, trying to hide the tremble of your body and the tears in your eyes. You could not bring yourself to return his mannerisms.

“Baby? What’s wrong?” He frowned as he approached you.

“Jay…. I-I” your voice caught in your throat: a reminder of how little you wanted this to happen. But you had to. For his sake “I can’t do this anymore.”

Jason’s face dropped. “W-what?”

You honestly don’t think you had ever seen him look more hurt. Another wound to add to the collection.

“I can’t do this anymore.” You gestured between the two of you. “ I love you, Jason. But I can’t carry on being with you.”

You took a step back and Jason reached out to try and touch you but stopped, cutting himself off short. “Y/N what’s happened? Please tell me baby. What have I done wrong?”

“Nothing, Jay.” You shook your head, blinking away the tears that fell. “That’s the worst part. Nothing at all.”

~

You avoided Jason Todd like the plague after that. No matter how much you mourned his face and playful smile. His flurries of texts and calls went unanswered until they slowly thinned out. Never stopping, but as the summer turned to autumn, there were less and less of them.

You could tell it broke him as much as it broke you.

You hardly left the house after that fateful day. Everything seemed to remind you of him and his stupid voice. You didn’t want to run the risk of seeing him because you knew the second you did you would break down again completely.

Your father stopped by occasionally. He would tell you that he was proud of you but you knew he was just trying to manipulate you back into his little copy of himself. You swore to yourself that you wouldn’t go back there, but after a short while you grew desperate. Perhaps it was because you had grown bored of staring at the same blank spot in the wall and the empty space on your bed, or perhaps it was because you secretly hoped that you would catch a glimpse of that infamous red suit.

It seemed that your wishes do come true.

You heard the fighting from around the corner. The cacophony of fists finding their marks. When you rounded the corner you saw him. The red of his suit outlined by the dark of the black to contrast. Your first thought was to run. To bolt back down the alleyway. But you weren’t a coward. You had had enough of hiding. You longed to see him and this was your chance. Red Hood was loosing.

With one swift action, you leaped towards the thugs grabbing one and sending her careening towards the ground. Red Hood had to do a double take when he saw the flash of your suit in the light. But there was no doubt that it was you. After months you had appeared.

Motivated by you appearance it didn’t take long of the two of you to take out the thugs. And when the last one dropped to the ground. Your first thought was to run. But then he said your name and you were glued in place. God you had longed to hear that voice.

“Y/N? Y/N please look at me” you had never heard so much softness in Jason’s voice before. He too was scared.

He was right behind you. Close enough to touch. You could sense him. His hands itching to reach out and gather you up in his arms.

Slowly you turned around to face him and your gaze met his for the first time in months. And his heart wanted to break. Jason had always been good at reading people, but he could see the whirlwind of emotions swirling in your gaze.

“I'm sorry.” You blurted out.

Jay hummed. Although he would never admit how much he had hurt during your absence, he had a feeling that you weren’t not thinking properly and had likely been influenced by someone else. The fear in your eyes confirmed his suspicions. “I know.” Jason wanted to reach out and snatch you up to pull into his embrace. “I know it was your father.”

You felt as if the whole world had been lifted off of your chest when he breathed out those words.

“Truly, I didn’t want to do it, Jay. But he threatened to- I couldn’t let him hurt you.” Your voice broke and your lips trembled as your eye filled with tears. And that was the final straw for the vigilante. He took another step forward and wrapped you up in a tight hug. He had missed you so much.

“Shh.” He hushed. “I forgive you.”

You sniffled looking up at him. “Really?”

“Of course I do.” He nodded, tucking your head under his chin. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“Me too.” You muttered.

“So what do you say?” He asked. “You want to give this another go?”

“If you’ll have me.”

“Oh darling, I would trade the world for one night with you.”

And with that, Jason Todd leaned down and kissed you once more.

⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

BATFAM TAGS:

@hearts4robs

@hell-o-kittys

@xxrougefangxx

@aestheticdasies

@mamapucket

⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

side note in case it bothers anyone: I'm somewhat aware that Bane has a daughter canonically, which is sort of why I went with him. If you wanted to you could interpret this as the reader also being created in a lab, or being his biological daughter (how I imagined it) but it doesn't really matter. I also chose bane because I didn't want to go with the joker again, but this this also doesn't really matter as the reader kinda just becomes her own villain.

I am obsessed 😍

The Bet

summary: The agents at SHIELD have not taken well to Bucky’s pardon. When he’s injured on a mission under suspicious circumstances, you take matters into your own hands.  

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

word count: 7.7k

warnings: canon level violence, bucky’s internalized self-punishing issues, shield agents being real pieces of shit, badass reader who would defend bucky to the death

a/n: I know I’ve been really inactive lately (life’s actually been going well so I’ve been busier but that leaves me less time to write unfortunately), but I’m still lurking here! This is a fic I wrote several months ago but finally got around to editing it. Hope you enjoy!

Bucky wasn’t sure how you managed it – the punch to his gut every time you walked in the room. You were dressed in your tactical suit; black fabric draped over every inch of your body, protective layers of Kevlar and technology beyond Bucky’s years, a weapon strapped to your thigh and knives hidden in your belt and at your ankle. Your hair was tugged out of place, sweat beaded on your temple from the sparring match in the gym moments before the two of you were called to service. In your right hand, you carried your combat boots, the laces hanging low enough to touch the ground.  

And still, Bucky held his breath as you approached. Stomach in knots, chest tightening until his heart threatened to stop entirely.

“My offer is fifty this time,” you announced, winking in his direction before you turned to head for the landing bay. “Take it or leave it, Barnes.”

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heartbeats - bucky barnes x reader

Plot: Like most people in the hospital she works in, Y/N is head over heels in love with the gorgeous paramedic Bucky Barnes. Yet she has come to the conclusion that their small chats they have whenever he drops off a patient is the closest thing they have to a relationship. That is, however, until an accident on a night out brings them closer together. Pairing: Paramedic!Bucky Barnes x Doctor!Female!Reader Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, needles, pain meds/drugs, injuries (nothing too graphic) and bruising. As always, if I miss any triggers please let me know! Notes: This is my first entry for the @buckybarnesevents Alternate June-iverse Challenge! One of my squares was Nurse, so here we are! Obligatory I am not a doctor (clearly), so my medical knowledge may not be the most accurate. Not beta’d, so any mistakes are my own. 

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“Welcome notes” Bucky x Reader Oneshot

Bucky Barnes x F!Reader oneshot

Word Count: 4.8k

Summary: You’ve been a S.H.I.E.L.D agent for many years now, but recently you’ve been on more and more missions with the Avengers, and so Fury decided it was time for you to move to the team’s wing in the tower. You are welcomed by everyone but there is just one person you still haven’t met. Bucky Barnes. You’ve heard so many stories about him, but he kept very much to himself. You decided to make it your mission to make Bucky feel as welcomed as you did, and so it all began with a note…

Warnings: Mentions of a nightmare, but other than that just fluff! 

A/N: I haven’t really proof read this so there will be mistakes lol. Believe it or not this began with a drabble and I simply got carried away… This is more than I’ve written for uni in 2 years… Enjoy

Bucky kept to himself. Everyone knew that and no one really minded. Steve tried to encourage him to join in and socialise, but deep down he knew that Bucky was content on his own. Or at least, that’s what he thought.

The truth was, Bucky didn’t know what made him feel better. The team had all had time to bond long before he came along, so it makes sense to feel a little left out during meetings and around the building. Everyone had this sort of unspoken routine, these intimate little moments between friends. The handshakes, the knowing looks, the inside jokes. Bucky didn’t have any of that. Years ago he might’ve done with Steve, but over the years he had lost a part of himself. A very big part of himself. The part of him that could smoothly initiate a friendship or seduce any girl he wanted. Gone. And he was okay with that, he supposed. Nothing had come around to change his mind. He just kept to himself and left everyone be. Did he miss the person he used to be? He wasn’t quite sure anymore.

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