Different Strokes?

Different Strokes?

I think I left the teller at the bank genuinely disturbed when I told him that “If I can’t afford it, I just don’t buy it.”  “What about a car? Do you drive a car?” he inquired, his voice toning on the edge of fear.   I told him, “Yeah, I have a vehicle. I bought it used for under $3,000.”  He looked physically pained. “What about if you want to buy some kind of new appliance? Or furniture?” he persisted. I stared at him blankly. “My couch was $5.00 at Goodwill. Like…I just buy shit cheap or I don’t buy it at all. The only thing in my life that I make payments on is my house, my bills, and my insurance, and that’s split five ways because I have housemates.”  The young man looked horrified? Appalled? And somehow also awed?  This guy couldn’t have been much older than me. But it seemed that he’d never even considered the option before of saving up for something to purchase it outright instead of using a credit card. Am I the only person in my general age group (just turned 26) who’s never owned a credit card, and who has forgone basic comforts in order to save up for items so you don’t owe money to anyone, like, ever? 

one of the ways i know this culture has a massive issue with consent

is the sheer amount of people I’ve known that just lie & tell people they’re deathly allergic to foods they dislike

because otherwise people will hound them, mock them, coax them, harass them, try to force them to eat it, or even trick them into eating it, and they will never hear the end of it

your coworkers will bake it into a fucking pie, call it something else, and wait til your birthday, gather everyone and their first cousins to sit around in a circle waiting for you to put a forkful into your mouth and then point rhythmically at you in a chanting, glaring, sweating, unholy circle like SWISS CHARD SWISS CHARD YOU JUST ATE SWISS CHARD HA HA HA SWISS CHARD NOW YOU LIKE SWISS CHARD

Because forcing someone into a situation where they don’t feel safe declining putting something into their body they’d rather not be there is totes 100% wholesome American fun

And this is something so known that it’s infinitely easier to just lie and tell people that you’ll die if you eat that food…which actually doesn’t always stop it from happening

fucked up how cooking and baking from scratch is viewed as a luxury…..like baking a loaf of bread or whatever is seen as something that only people with money/time can do. I’m not sure why capitalism decided to sell us the idea that we can’t make our own damn food bc it’s a special expensive thing that’s exclusive to wealthy retirees but it’s stupid as hell and it makes me angry

Realistic Self-Talk

This too shall pass & my life will be better.

I am a worthy and good person. 

I am doing the best I can, given my history and level of current awareness.

Like everyone else, I am a fallible person and at times will make mistakes and am committed to learning from them.

What is, is.

Look at how much I have accomplished, and I am still progressing.

There are no failures, only different degrees of success.

Be honest and true to myself.

It is OK to let myself be distressed for awhile.

I am not helpless. I can and will take the steps needed to get through during crisis. 

I will remain engaged and involved instead of isolating and withdrawing during this situation.

This is an opportunity, instead of a threat. I will use this experience to learn something new, to change my direction, and/or to try a new approach. 

Other people are responsible for their reactions to me. 

I can stand anything for a while because I am resilient. 

In the long run, who will remember or care? 

I see all things through the eyes of compassion.

little honey bees 

lanfear 10" x 15" ink and watercolor on yupo