My Favourite Aphobic Argument Is That Somehow Ace People In Relationships Are Abusive For Not Having

my favourite aphobic argument is that somehow ace people in relationships are abusive for not having sex with their (non asexual) partner

uwu relationships are all about compromise and that means the only one who actually has to do any compromising is always the asexual partner or else they’re abusive uwu 

My little entp has depression. She is not herself and i want help her. I'm trying my best but is not enough. Any advices?

Hi nonnie!

I’m sorry that your friend is going through this. Depression is really difficult to beat or even manage, and sometimes it just spring up on ya and it’s just meh. But while you can’t solve it for her, there are things you can do to support her. 

Maybe the first thing about dealing with a friend’s depression is understanding it completely. It’s important to know that even when your friend may be acting like she’s not listening to you, or if she seems to be pulling away, it’s not about you. She’s just trying to deal. Also, know it can’t just be fixed by someone other than the person who is depressed (which makes it so hard to beat, my god). 

So as an ENTP who has persistent depressive disorder, I have a few tips that are actually like low-key super helpful for us. 

1. Make sure your ENTP eats

I find with the low Si, depressed ENTPs quickly forgo the small things required for taking care of ourselves. For me, it was food. I high-key just didn’t eat… and it wasn’t on purpose, I just didn’t care about anything and I forgot about food. My best friend began to ask me to go grocery shopping with her and she’d go out of her way to make me remember to get foods that I like– easy snack type foods that don’t require the effort (but keep me with sustenance). Other friends literally texted me to remind me to eat, and gradually I got back into the habit of eating all of my meals on time. But just eating takes away some of the burden of being tired already from depression. 

2. Invite the ENTP to exercise too

This take time because exercising literally isn’t fun (lol don’t @ me), but it’s good for you, and a great habit to get into to release those stress-reducing chemicals. Health health health hELPS. It really does. 

3. Be open to listening or even talking. 

So this depends on the person, but I found that for me, it realllllly helped me to talk about depression with people who had it before– I only learned this after a few months of therapy (which it’s hard to get to that point in the first place), but after therapy, whenever someone wanted to discuss depression, or its effects, knowing that you’re not the only one, and being able to share it with someone really helps. ENTPs really struggle with knowing what they’re feeling, and comprehending it, so the discussion kind of allows us (or at least it allowed me) to begin to process the problems that I was facing. 

4. Just be there!

This ties into literally all of them. But I have friends that randomly kept me in mind and invited me to random things, and it really helped to get me out of my head. There are up days and down days despite friends being around, and it’s hard to predict each day. But health is the first step because it helps sO much, and having a network of people around who she can trust is also wonderful. 

I really hope that your friend feels better, and she’s lucky to have you! Best of luck to you both. xx

While you're doing lower functions, anything for lower Si? I'm ENTP, if it helps. I'm ENTP if it doesn't, too!

Hello, ENTP. Have a Doctor Who gif.

Pay more attention to your body. Try yoga, dancing, exercise (hoop dancing is a great low-impact way to learn to be graceful and coordinated – it worked for me and it’s great at toning your body) or keeping a notebook where you jot down what you ate or did and how you felt afterward. (If you can learn what causes those discomforting twinges, you’ll stop thinking you’re dying whenever you get a stomach ache from drinking chocolate milk and eating twinkies at the same time. You’re not dying of cancer!)

Take time at the end of each day to think back through your memories, experiences, conversations, and feelings in order to categorize them and process them fully, so you can remember stuff later and/or deal with things as they happen, which will reduce later periods of guilt, anxiety after the fact, or feelings you might not have dealt with. Nobody wants that crap inferior Si dragging up old stuff out of the blue, right?

Devote some time to music. Si is good at recognizing that which it knows or has experienced. If you pay attention to music, you’ll start noticing patterns and being able to recognize who composed what over time (I’ve been doing this since I was a kid – I can now pick up, say, Han Zimmer or John Williams’ musical scores within a few bars of the opening theme because I recognize the tone, tenor, and instruments they often use; I do it with voices too – I can usually know who the actor speaking is before seeing their face / reading their name, even in animated films where they’re altering their voice – it’s a lot of fun!).

Try cooking. I know it requires paying attention and your taste buds might suck just like mine (seriously, unless it’s hot / sweet / spicy, I literally cannot taste it) – but it’s a skill that you can develop over time and Si is quite good at picking out individual tastes and/or recognizing flavors once you know what they are.

Do art of some kind. Any kind. Scrapbook (you don’t have to use family photos, you know; I like to do albums for family and friends of everything I admire or love about them, and use pictures from the internet). Draw. Paint. Craft. Make cards. Become an expert at gift-wrapping with coordinated ribbons and paper or learn to spray paint art. Anything that forces you to be hands-on creative instead of intellectually creative. Try woodworking, or calligraphy, or building things, or painting murals, or coloring books with ten thousand details. You do have natural abilities to pair colors, make something look attractive, etc., if you can just train yourself to notice and/or care. (Just like I recommended for the lower Se’s – get yourself to the library and check out books on cooking, crafting, fashion, interior design, building things, etc.) The more you know about many different things, the more resources you’ll have mentally stored up to use in life.

Do something about your environment. You don’t have to live in a sparse space unless you want to. Your Si-dom cousins are terrific at stuff like surrounding themselves with the fabrics, colors, scents, music, etc., that they like. You can do it too, but you need to spend time finding out what you love and discovering all the different detailed things that exist to help you! (You can’t do awesome things unless you know about the tools that are out there to create with.) Try lots of new things. Feel fabrics. Smell candles (just not too many at once, or you’ll get a headache from over-sensory-smell stimulation like I d… never-mind). Notice how the colors in a room impact you – do you feel peaceful and calm with this color, or nervous and agitated? What do you WANT to feel in this space? (If this color gives you energy, put it wherever you want to be creative; if it makes you feel peaceful, the bedroom or reading spot might be perfect.)

Slow down. I know it’s a pain in the butt, it makes you feel like the world is moving in slow motion, but the best things take time to learn. Try lots of things, but the ones you really like, slow down and try to do them well. Si’s often learn to be really good at something by practice and watching other people to learn techniques. Don’t only watch YouTube instructional videos if you get stuck. Try them first. Try and take pleasure in the process of learning.

Get in touch with your past. If you do this, you won’t have angst later, and you’ll be less weirdly sentimental over strange things  Feel free to think about the past – voluntarily rather than under stress or a period of self-loathing. Try making photo albums, keeping records, writing stories about what happened to you and when, painting pictures to represent periods in your life, whatever strikes your fancy – anything that connects you to memories and helps you ground yourself.

Train yourself to try new things. You do this all the time with Ne, in conceptual realms – now try doing it physically. Don’t always order the same thing at that restaurant. Try something new. Paint that piece of furniture. Go a different way to class. You hate ruts. Don’t get stuck in a sensory rut.

Writers: take a scene from a movie and recreate it in writing, but without any dialogue as a writing exercise. This forces you to describe the actions of the characters, what is going on in the background, how the light looks, what’s happening in the environment. You know, those details intuitive writers miss! If you can train yourself to do this, you’ll notice more in your real-life environment too. :)

- ENFP Mod

PS: Sorry, I know a lot of these examples are kinda feminine… I’m tired.

the greatest skill a woman can learn for herself is self reliance

“Poison Kitchen” from the book Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor.

This is the local cafe, in Prague, where Karou and Zuzana hang out in book one. I adore the place and would really love to find a real world replica in my own town.

Prints up at Society6 and RedBubble

Straight dudes are their own worst enemies when it comes to getting laid.