Acephobia - Tumblr Posts
Things I want people to know and accept:
Marriage is not for everyone
Children are human beings and not resources to be used
Not all children are biological
Assuming that all the people who don't want to get married are only doing it bc they love their phones is dumb
Romance and sex are not necessary for a happy life
No one has the right to force anyone to marry
Pregnancy and raising children are not easy choices to make and have severe consequences if not taken seriously
Wait, why tf are people out here hating ASPEC people??? Like, they're the chillest people I know. Don't tell me it's some stupid religious shit like "God made us so we can be fruitful and multiply 🥺" (ick) or "That's just an excuse to say you can't get laid" (Double ick). People forget sexuality isn't a choice. So if ur ace, just keep marching and flying your colors baby. This pan enby loves you! /p
Aphobia is craaaaazy, like queer people in general didn’t do anything but we REALLY didn’t do anything
Jungle Boys and their Knowledge About Sex
Well I'm just gonna say it.
Ace and Luffy BOTH didn't know what sex was until Makino or the Bandits gave them the Birds and the Bees talk.
NEITHER of them know anything about sex besides that b&b talk until they start their respective adventures.
🚫 Um actually ace learned it from the losers he beat up at high town/people at gray terminal
INVALID - he was younger than 10 during all of those instances and was too focused on Roger nonsense. Even if he learned something it would have been raunchy and inaccurate and said in passing cause he was flighty. After Sabo they would have barely went to high town and definitely nothing in gray terminal was left
🚫 um actually Ace understood everything perfectly and never has any misunderstandings from growing up in the jungle while Luffy is Baby and didn't listen to any of it
INVALID - Makino would absolutely make sure both know sex exists. She would struggle maybe but it WOULD happen. Ace being a sex prodigy while not having a single object of his affection until 17/+ does not equal understanding of everything I fear. And Luffy is an idiot but Makino would totally say it's relevant to his adventure to make him listen to at least the basics.
🚫 Um actually they don't bother trying to explain sex to Luffy cause he's clearly asexual/Luffy doesn't understand sex because he's asexual.
INVALID: You're acephobic. Like straight up your acephobic and infantilizing him. He knows what sex is. Stop. He may not want it depending on your hc but acting like he wouldn't know anything at all while Ace knows everything is fucked up. They both were raised in the jungle. In the event that Ace DID understand more, to keep Luffy safe, Ace would definitely tell Luffy to make sure he could protect himself. Sex Trafficking and Sexual Assault exist.
🙏👀🙏👀🙏👀🙏👀🙏👀🙏
✅️ Ace learns what sex is and becomes a whore when he was Spade captain.
VALID: curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back wdyw from me
✅️ Ace blusters and acts like he knows a lot about sex but is either too nervous/guarded/oblivious to have had any after the b&b talk.
VALID: He's hot but also a loser
✅️ Ace tells Makino that the bandits gave them the sex talk and tells the bandits that Makino gave them the sex talk to get out of it. Now neither Luffy or Ace know anything about how sex works.
VALID: Could be true and also hysterical. Ace not knowing anything about sex on the whitebeard crew at age 19? More likely than you'd think.
✅️ The bandits give them the sex talk for real and due to a strange amount of euphanisms and vague terminology Luffy and Ace THINK they know what sex is but are very wrong and/or weird about it.
VALID: Could be true and also hysterical.
✅️ They both avoid the sex talk and all they know about sex is what they see in the jungle.
VALID: Majorly concerning. Good lord that's concerning.
✅️ Ace got out of the sex talk by lying/avoidance but Luffy got the sex talk.
VALID: Objectively the funniest thing ever if 17 year old Luffy is more knowledgeable about sex than 17 year old Ace. I bet Ace would try to explain sex when they met up in Alabasta and Luffys like ? I know? And Ace dies a bit on the inside cause it was just him.
Tldr; LUFFY KNOWS WHAT SEX IS. STOP BABYING HIM AND IF YOU'RE GONNA MAKE HIM CLUELESS YOU NEED TO MAKE ACE JUST AS CLUELESS CAUSE THEY BOTH WERE RASIED IN THE JUNGLE.
It’s All A Fucking Joke, Right
In the few months I’ve been modding at fuckyeahasexual and touring ace Tumblr, there’s been a very. Steady. Stream of info that detail horrifically abusive situations and overall poor mental unhealth. Two a week in the inbox if I’m lucky, usually around seven-ten.
And there’s been so many, I can officially categorize all 500+ of these kinds of asks and submissions into an extensive bulletlist of Why Asexual Exclusionary Radicalism Is Incredibly Toxic And Shitty;
Coming Out To Family, Friends, And Employers
“My parents keep telling me that I’m something else, and it’s making me doubt my sense of judgement, not just about my sexual identity, but also about everything in general.”
“My family, friends, and co-workers keep referring to me as an inanimate object in a manner that’s clearly meant to humiliate and devastate me. Nothing I say will get them to stop.”
“My parents vocally/bodily forced me to undergo medical examinations, some of them concerning my sexual organs, many of them concerning blood tests and other trauma-centric procedures.”
“My family is intervening with my private life by changing my schedule to include exercise, socialization, friend influences, and whatever they think can ‘change’ me.”
“My friends/co-workers no longer respect my bodily boundaries when I came out to them, because they no longer see me as someone who should be respected. They regularly touch, fondle, grope, and prod me without permission, and/or verbally harass me, and don’t take my objections seriously.”
“My family, friends, and co-workers no longer just harass me, but also anyone I’m currently dating because they view my significant other as pathetic, underserved, or even being abused.”
First Few Days Of Dating
“My date got irrationally angry and confrontational when I came out to them, in a manner that made me fearful.” (SO many of these.)
“My date immediately lost any respect they had for my boundaries, no longer asked for consent, and {tried to} force themselves upon me.” (A lot of these, too)
“My date tried to verbally circumvent any boundaries and issues I confessed to, and it made me feel like I was in danger.”
“I didn’t come out to my date at first, and when they found out, they radically changed their behavior in an attempt to control and manipulate our new relationship to their benefit.”
Long-Term Relationships
“My partner has forcefully and radically changed our long-term relationship after finding out about my asexuality, and I’m now trapped and controlled in a way that I wasn’t before.”
“My partner broke up with me/is fighting with me because of my asexuality, and trying to make it seem like I’m hurting them. It’s made me doubt myself and my ability to trust my own intentions.”
“My partner is slowly changing from what was once supportive of my asexuality, and I’m wondering when I have the right to be worried and when I’d be overreacting. I’m aware of the worst case scenario, but I also worry that I’m being selfish and childish - which are things I’ve been told all throughout my asexual experience.”
Self-Care And Self Development
“I don’t trust my ability to say either yes or no in sexual situations, and this has extended to my life in general. I don’t feel comfortable in my ability to self-determinate.”
“The lack of authority, definition, and schooling of the concept of asexuality has made me very uncomfortable with what I think I am, and that uncertainty haunts me every waking moment.”
“I think it’s too late/too early to tell if I’m asexual, but the longer I hesitate, the worse my mental health and emotional wellbeing gets. I’m effectively stuck.”
“I see no benefit in coming out, or even identifying as asexual. There’s no positivity, role models, or supportive community for what I consider a big and scary part of my overall identity.”
“I think this was sexual abuse, but I’m wondering if I’m just being selfish and childish.”
“I think I was treated badly by my parents/friends/partner, but I’m wondering if I’m just being selfish and childish.”
“I want to believe that I’m deserving of equal freedom and human respect paid to other, not asexual people, but people tell me I’m being selfish and childish.”
“No one encourages this part of me. And that makes me feel forgotten and abandoned in general.”
Shut the fuck up about your petty beef with tumblr bloggers and youtubers and Archie comics or whatever. I literally do not care, I can’t care. I see these messages every goddamn day - this post was written and drafted a month ago, and I very easily compiled most of this bulletpoint list from scratch, just by eyeing what I see in the askbox and what comes across my dash.
‘Ace discourse’ anger is empty and so meaningless. This is what I see by being part of this one 17k follow asexual ask blog for maybe half a year. I am so Done with all the faux rage posts and all the false positivity about how it’s ok to NOT be ace and all the acephobia that falls perfectly in line with the gaslighting typical of acephobia-101 while also having the audacity to claim it not so.
This is what’s real and I want to bleed it into your goddamn eyes.
Referring to ace people as “virgins” or “turbo virgins” is especially disgusting since ace people are the second most likely orientation to get raped. Whether you want to argue that this is because of abigotry or because we’re more likely to be/be regarded as sexually unavailable is beside the point. We are at greater risk of sexual assault, and the “virgin” taunt disregards that many of us are not virgins and not by choice.
Virginity is, of course, a heteronormative bullshit concept at its core anyway. But when I think of those of us who have been assaulted, or coerced, or convinced themselves into sex out of terror, the word “virgin” seems especially poisonous.
I assumed this was obvious, but I am big sibling to everyone who follows me. You hurt my baby sibling, I’ll beat you.
Reblog if you think asexuality is a legitimate sexuality.
I'm trying to prove something.
To Ace, Trans, Bi, & Nonbinary Sapphics
- You are not less sapphic than anyone else. - You are valid. - You are worthy. - You are the only one who can decide your identity. - You deserve all the joy and love in the world. - You’re not alone.
You have allies, and we will always, always fight for you. 💜
please don't group real LGBT people with cishet aces....
If you’re asexual, you’re not heterosexual. :)
happy ace day friendly reminder to the lgbt community that "asexuality doesn't exist, you should just get game and then you will realize you are just confused" is the exact same as "you are not really gay, you just need to meet x and you will realize you are just confused" no this is not up for debate. you don't get to decide what i do with my sex life just as much as no one gets to decide yours. If you are a part of the LGBT and you say shit like that, then you are not a real ally, you are a hypocrite. thank you.
I found a new thing that absolutely gets on my nerves.
I was scrolling through the Alastor Aroace tag as you do and I keep seeing people say things like, 'if he's Aroace then why so fruity' or 'how can he be Aroace if he acts like this' referencing to the fact that he is eccentric and silly.
All I can think is, um, why is that important, like at all? I was already annoyed by the fact that people just say someone is gay simply because they act a certain way, that is both offensive to gay people and puts people in boxes, but now it's grown to be more than a frustration.
I mean, do people not see how freaking offensive that is? And it seems as if it's genuine sometimes and even if it's not it's not a funny joke.
What do you mean you don't think he can't be Aroace cause he kicks his feet and drops his wrist? That has nothing to do with sexual or romantic orientation! It's so... It makes me feel like him being Aroace is just a joke to them. That it's more of a silly note the author made than real representation.
Do these people not realize we can see things and that we exist? That, maybe, not every character you find fun and attractive is a gay man?
I just saw a Tiktok where it's like, 'I think he wants a man,' to that one scene of kicking his feet and it pissed me off.
Anyways, I just needed to say that.
so you know how a lot of queer people grow up in a homophobic and purity obsessed environment? i feel like i almost had the opposite. i grew up in a relatively sex positive household with decent enough sex ed at school. abstinence was never pushed on me. i didn't grow up feeling like there was anything wrong with queerness... unless that queerness was aromanticism and asexuality. yes, i was lucky to grow up in an open minded household, but that doesn't mean i had a perfect childhood. no matter if you grew up in a conservative environment or an open minded one, if you're an aspec kid, you gonna get fucked up.
if you grew up conservative, it might seem like a virtue at first. you're one of the "good" kids because you're not interesting in dating, you're perfectly happy to "wait" because you don't understand what the rush is. until you become an adult and suddenly you're hounded with questions. why don't you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? who are you going to marry? when are you going to marry? when you get married you'll be able to have lots of sex, as a reward for waiting. what do you mean you don't actually want sex? that's unnatural. you need to reproduce. now it's no longer a good thing to be disinterested. there is something wrong with you.
if you grew up in an open minded environment, it's very isolating. from my experience at least, you're hyperaware that everyone else is experiencing these feelings that you don't, and everyone is saying how normal it is, all teenagers have these feelings. you're not interested in boys? it's okay to like girls. look how progressive we are. why do you still look lost? who do you have a crush on? when are you going to start dating? why can't you be a normal teenager? you'll understand when you're older. sex is a normal and expected part of being an adult. why do you look uncomfortable? when are you going to lose your virginity? virginity is shameful. it means you're ugly. what a loser.
so yeah. i guess i'm lucky to grow up in the household i did. i'm trans and so grateful my family is supportive. but they don't know about my aroaceness. it's the part of my identity that makes me feel the least safe. i feel like i have the opposite problem of an allo person who grew up conservative. i'm an aspec person who grew up in an environment where sex was seen as normal and healthy to the point that not being interested was seen as abnormal and unhealthy. no matter what, aspec kids are shamed. the best case scenario would be a gay kid growing up in the latter situation. there is no best case scenario for aspec kids. and there won't be until aromanticism and asexuality are given widespread awareness and acceptance.
Submitted May 13, 2023
It’s All A Fucking Joke, Right
In the few months I’ve been modding at fuckyeahasexual and touring ace Tumblr, there’s been a very. Steady. Stream of info that detail horrifically abusive situations and overall poor mental unhealth. Two a week in the inbox if I’m lucky, usually around seven-ten.
And there’s been so many, I can officially categorize all 500+ of these kinds of asks and submissions into an extensive bulletlist of Why Asexual Exclusionary Radicalism Is Incredibly Toxic And Shitty;
Coming Out To Family, Friends, And Employers
“My parents keep telling me that I’m something else, and it’s making me doubt my sense of judgement, not just about my sexual identity, but also about everything in general.”
“My family, friends, and co-workers keep referring to me as an inanimate object in a manner that’s clearly meant to humiliate and devastate me. Nothing I say will get them to stop.”
“My parents vocally/bodily forced me to undergo medical examinations, some of them concerning my sexual organs, many of them concerning blood tests and other trauma-centric procedures.”
“My family is intervening with my private life by changing my schedule to include exercise, socialization, friend influences, and whatever they think can ‘change’ me.”
“My friends/co-workers no longer respect my bodily boundaries when I came out to them, because they no longer see me as someone who should be respected. They regularly touch, fondle, grope, and prod me without permission, and/or verbally harass me, and don’t take my objections seriously.”
“My family, friends, and co-workers no longer just harass me, but also anyone I’m currently dating because they view my significant other as pathetic, underserved, or even being abused.”
First Few Days Of Dating
“My date got irrationally angry and confrontational when I came out to them, in a manner that made me fearful.” (SO many of these.)
“My date immediately lost any respect they had for my boundaries, no longer asked for consent, and {tried to} force themselves upon me.” (A lot of these, too)
“My date tried to verbally circumvent any boundaries and issues I confessed to, and it made me feel like I was in danger.”
“I didn’t come out to my date at first, and when they found out, they radically changed their behavior in an attempt to control and manipulate our new relationship to their benefit.”
Long-Term Relationships
“My partner has forcefully and radically changed our long-term relationship after finding out about my asexuality, and I’m now trapped and controlled in a way that I wasn’t before.”
“My partner broke up with me/is fighting with me because of my asexuality, and trying to make it seem like I’m hurting them. It’s made me doubt myself and my ability to trust my own intentions.”
“My partner is slowly changing from what was once supportive of my asexuality, and I’m wondering when I have the right to be worried and when I’d be overreacting. I’m aware of the worst case scenario, but I also worry that I’m being selfish and childish - which are things I’ve been told all throughout my asexual experience.”
Self-Care And Self Development
“I don’t trust my ability to say either yes or no in sexual situations, and this has extended to my life in general. I don’t feel comfortable in my ability to self-determinate.”
“The lack of authority, definition, and schooling of the concept of asexuality has made me very uncomfortable with what I think I am, and that uncertainty haunts me every waking moment.”
“I think it’s too late/too early to tell if I’m asexual, but the longer I hesitate, the worse my mental health and emotional wellbeing gets. I’m effectively stuck.”
“I see no benefit in coming out, or even identifying as asexual. There’s no positivity, role models, or supportive community for what I consider a big and scary part of my overall identity.”
“I think this was sexual abuse, but I’m wondering if I’m just being selfish and childish.”
“I think I was treated badly by my parents/friends/partner, but I’m wondering if I’m just being selfish and childish.”
“I want to believe that I’m deserving of equal freedom and human respect paid to other, not asexual people, but people tell me I’m being selfish and childish.”
“No one encourages this part of me. And that makes me feel forgotten and abandoned in general.”
Shut the fuck up about your petty beef with tumblr bloggers and youtubers and Archie comics or whatever. I literally do not care, I can’t care. I see these messages every goddamn day - this post was written and drafted a month ago, and I very easily compiled most of this bulletpoint list from scratch, just by eyeing what I see in the askbox and what comes across my dash.
‘Ace discourse’ anger is empty and so meaningless. This is what I see by being part of this one 17k follow asexual ask blog for maybe half a year. I am so Done with all the faux rage posts and all the false positivity about how it’s ok to NOT be ace and all the acephobia that falls perfectly in line with the gaslighting typical of acephobia-101 while also having the audacity to claim it not so.
This is what’s real and I want to bleed it into your goddamn eyes.
It’s All A Fucking Joke, Right
In the few months I’ve been modding at fuckyeahasexual and touring ace Tumblr, there’s been a very. Steady. Stream of info that detail horrifically abusive situations and overall poor mental unhealth. Two a week in the inbox if I’m lucky, usually around seven-ten.
And there’s been so many, I can officially categorize all 500+ of these kinds of asks and submissions into an extensive bulletlist of Why Asexual Exclusionary Radicalism Is Incredibly Toxic And Shitty;
Coming Out To Family, Friends, And Employers
“My parents keep telling me that I’m something else, and it’s making me doubt my sense of judgement, not just about my sexual identity, but also about everything in general.”
“My family, friends, and co-workers keep referring to me as an inanimate object in a manner that’s clearly meant to humiliate and devastate me. Nothing I say will get them to stop.”
“My parents vocally/bodily forced me to undergo medical examinations, some of them concerning my sexual organs, many of them concerning blood tests and other trauma-centric procedures.”
“My family is intervening with my private life by changing my schedule to include exercise, socialization, friend influences, and whatever they think can ‘change’ me.”
“My friends/co-workers no longer respect my bodily boundaries when I came out to them, because they no longer see me as someone who should be respected. They regularly touch, fondle, grope, and prod me without permission, and/or verbally harass me, and don’t take my objections seriously.”
“My family, friends, and co-workers no longer just harass me, but also anyone I’m currently dating because they view my significant other as pathetic, underserved, or even being abused.”
First Few Days Of Dating
“My date got irrationally angry and confrontational when I came out to them, in a manner that made me fearful.” (SO many of these.)
“My date immediately lost any respect they had for my boundaries, no longer asked for consent, and {tried to} force themselves upon me.” (A lot of these, too)
“My date tried to verbally circumvent any boundaries and issues I confessed to, and it made me feel like I was in danger.”
“I didn’t come out to my date at first, and when they found out, they radically changed their behavior in an attempt to control and manipulate our new relationship to their benefit.”
Long-Term Relationships
“My partner has forcefully and radically changed our long-term relationship after finding out about my asexuality, and I’m now trapped and controlled in a way that I wasn’t before.”
“My partner broke up with me/is fighting with me because of my asexuality, and trying to make it seem like I’m hurting them. It’s made me doubt myself and my ability to trust my own intentions.”
“My partner is slowly changing from what was once supportive of my asexuality, and I’m wondering when I have the right to be worried and when I’d be overreacting. I’m aware of the worst case scenario, but I also worry that I’m being selfish and childish - which are things I’ve been told all throughout my asexual experience.”
Self-Care And Self Development
“I don’t trust my ability to say either yes or no in sexual situations, and this has extended to my life in general. I don’t feel comfortable in my ability to self-determinate.”
“The lack of authority, definition, and schooling of the concept of asexuality has made me very uncomfortable with what I think I am, and that uncertainty haunts me every waking moment.”
“I think it’s too late/too early to tell if I’m asexual, but the longer I hesitate, the worse my mental health and emotional wellbeing gets. I’m effectively stuck.”
“I see no benefit in coming out, or even identifying as asexual. There’s no positivity, role models, or supportive community for what I consider a big and scary part of my overall identity.”
“I think this was sexual abuse, but I’m wondering if I’m just being selfish and childish.”
“I think I was treated badly by my parents/friends/partner, but I’m wondering if I’m just being selfish and childish.”
“I want to believe that I’m deserving of equal freedom and human respect paid to other, not asexual people, but people tell me I’m being selfish and childish.”
“No one encourages this part of me. And that makes me feel forgotten and abandoned in general.”
Shut the fuck up about your petty beef with tumblr bloggers and youtubers and Archie comics or whatever. I literally do not care, I can’t care. I see these messages every goddamn day - this post was written and drafted a month ago, and I very easily compiled most of this bulletpoint list from scratch, just by eyeing what I see in the askbox and what comes across my dash.
‘Ace discourse’ anger is empty and so meaningless. This is what I see by being part of this one 17k follow asexual ask blog for maybe half a year. I am so Done with all the faux rage posts and all the false positivity about how it’s ok to NOT be ace and all the acephobia that falls perfectly in line with the gaslighting typical of acephobia-101 while also having the audacity to claim it not so.
This is what’s real and I want to bleed it into your goddamn eyes.
my favourite aphobic argument is that somehow ace people in relationships are abusive for not having sex with their (non asexual) partner
uwu relationships are all about compromise and that means the only one who actually has to do any compromising is always the asexual partner or else they’re abusive uwu
The whole “Asexuality is just about choosing who to fuck or choosing not to fuck” shit is hilarious because this bullshit little ism can literally be applied to the entirety of the LGBTQ community -except- for Trans people.
“Stop shoving homosexuality down my throat bc who you choose to fuck isnt my business” “Homosexuality is a choice”. <—-ALL THE EXACT SAME FUCKING ENERGY.
“Nobody cares about who you choose to fuck” or “Just because you wont fuck X doesnt make you special” isnt new, it has been used against the lgbq community since for fucking ever. And lets not even get into how many of yall say asexuality/etc isnt real and is just trauma or mental illness and shit like that. You think that shit is new? You think “Who hurt you?” and “You need therapy” is unique and groundbreaking?
Really goes to show how far too many of you are heavily impressionable minors and havent been around the block enough times to know bullshit when you see it.
For instance, an entire vapid, irrational backlash started by TERFs that keeps mutating like a virus. But I’m sleep tho….
Fucking THINK, damn. You’re literally just repackaging flimsy right wing rhetoric and weaponizing it against whatever flavor of the week has your panties in a bunch
pls give me 1(one) reason aces have ever been oppressed, and 1(one) example of aces being a part of lgbt history(before 2004 at least) and then maybe i’ll consider the idea that aces belong in the lgbt community lol