It Should Be Sunny Today, But The Wildfire Smoke Is Clogging The Sky And My Lungs. I Feel Like I Should

It should be sunny today, but the wildfire smoke is clogging the sky and my lungs. I feel like I should be able to reach up and wipe away the smoke in the air like dust off a dirty window.

Now approaching, says the automated voice on the train, and for once I almost dread getting off. The train, for all it’s failures, has some kind of air filter that does a number, at least, on the smell of burning. I get off anyway, and pass a man reading Crime and Punishment. I almost laugh. You can’t read that book in English. Or so says my Russian best friend. And so says high school me, drowning in the depression and consequence and the bitter regrets they forced upon us before we even were considered adults.

I walk up the platform, and maybe it’s just my imagination, but my eyes sting. Or maybe I’m just crying. Things rose and fell and burned and died before any of us were around to see it, but now we are. Now I am, and seeing things die just reminds me I’ll have to see so many other things to their grave, regardless of whether I got the chance to love them.

To all the ghosties out there looking for something to do this spooky season

I will be renting out my physical form! If you wanna experience being alive and do my job for a day or so y’all are welcome to apply. You can do whatever just promise not to do crimes while using my body. I will be taking Moments of Peaceful Oblivion, minor haunting fulfillments, and Omens(tm) as payment as I suspect you may no longer have access to traditional funds.

Let me be remembered for my love

Please

look what they found!

Open invitation for the fae to come take me away

My brain is an angry toddler today and it’s absurd

I was feeling awful and then I spent like an hour going “what do you want? Do you have to pee? Are you hungry? Do you want to go for a walk?”

Turns out I was thirsty, because I drank half a bottle of water and calmed down immediately. Even got some good work done.

So yeah, your brain is a stupid toddler that doesn’t know what it wants sometimes so just be gentle and try things