Uh Oh... The Raw Audio Post Doesn't Show Up On Skysometric.co! It Works Fine On Tumblr, But I Gotta Find

uh oh... the raw audio post doesn't show up on skysometric.co! it works fine on tumblr, but i gotta find a way to get it to load on my actual site... annoying

new pre-stream archive! in which i talk about the holidays and reflecting on the rest of the year, as the music takes us on a journey through discussing various Mario games 💙

keeping my new years resolutions simple this year. in 2024:

🏳️‍⚧️ i'm finally gonna start hormones! 🏳️‍⚧️

2023 Resolutions In Review

it's new year's resolution season, and for me, that means looking back as much as looking forward. yesterday i wrote about all that i accomplished this year, and today, i want to look at the resolutions i wrote for 2023. i got so much done that, surely, i knocked those out of the park… right?

so as the year draws to a close, i’m not making any resolutions about what i’ll accomplish online, because i know that i’ll be drawn to it no matter what happens. no, my resolution for 2023 is to improve my IRL, so that this year is not as miserable as the past two have been.

uh. Shit

okay, so… i definitely neglected my IRL this year, in favor of creativity. i'll freely admit that some of it was escapism, throwing myself into the act of creation so that i could get away from how i felt about my life. but other parts of it were to get something off my plate, so that i could handle my IRL with more grace and less stress. so it wasn't all bad!

but this quote especially hits like a truck:

then, once i’ve bolstered my IRL with stronger foundations, more joy, new inspirations, less stress… online stuff will naturally follow. i will always want to create. resolutions are for putting in the work.

the sad truth is that i did not get the stronger foundations that i wanted; most of my year was spent in survival mode until i could get home and create again. i want to create out of joy, not escapism! to be clear, there's nothing wrong with the latter – but only i have the tools to get out of survival mode, and i did not accomplish that this year.

i did, however, put a dent in the mountain of stress. here's some things i tackled IRL:

my partner and i put a LOT of effort into improving her mental and physical health this year, getting her to new appointments and treatment and professional help that she did not have last year. i consider this our biggest IRL accomplishment of 2023!

with good budgeting, my partner and i were able to upgrade our computers, phones, and consoles. every single device i just listed was 5-10 years old and falling apart at the seams, so these were very necessary upgrades! all of them have contributed to us getting more creative work done this year, like my upgraded computer allowing me to stream more often – as well as getting more rest.

we also got out of the house more, picking random nights to go shopping, go to the park, or just get food. it's nice to be able to do that again, after the pandemic locked us in the house for so long… but we're just natural couch potatoes anyway lol

i have a psychiatrist and a therapist now! i don't get to see them often due to my health insurance, but it's a good start and something i may be able to invest more into in 2024.

speaking of which, i got to try ADHD meds this year. they didn't work out… but i did try, and it was worth the effort of trying. i would like to try again next year, though i am not making it a resolution.

i wouldn't call this an accomplishment… but we lost two cats this year, and while we'll miss them dearly, it does mean a lot less cleaning and chores to take care of our remaining two cats. having four cats was a commitment we did not choose in the first place, and it was a sore spot for many reasons – but we did our best to care for them anyway.

it's a lot for one year! and i did accomplish my goal of being less miserable than last year… it's just not everything i hoped for, resolved for. i've allegorically polished up my house, but the house itself is still built on shaky ground.

i would say something like, "oh well, there's always next year!" and in truth, there are a lot of opportunities on the horizon that could very well bring the stronger foundations i'm looking for. but i am not going to make the same resolution again… because, quite frankly, i don't know what it takes to get out of survival mode! and i can't possibly predict how a year will go, or what the whims of my ADHD will decide to focus on. i'd rather play it by ear, and just… try to be cognizant of how much i'm leaning on escapism.

so here ends this resolution… but 2024 brings new possibilities, and maybe they'll lead me to where i was already headed.

new stream archive! in which i play the original Diddy Kong Racing, after growing up with the very different DS version – and learn just how much Rareware hates little kids.

i really did not expect that i would be competing for dumbest thing i've made this year, but we're at 3 in a row and no signs of stopping