Established But Not Quite Couples

Established But Not Quite Couples

And what I mean by that is that, yeah, we know a couple is together. We just don't know how, exactly, they're together. They could be dating or they could just be fuck friends. If nothing is outright said or confirmed directly, either in the show or even by the mouth of anyone in charge of it, then I'm not running on my assumptions. So far, there's only one couple I really know who applies so here it goes.

Mayberry and Martha -

This couple is living together but that doesn't automatically mean a relationship. Like I said, they could just be fuck friends. Not to mention, more importantly (at least to me to bring up)...

These two women being together doesn't make any fucking sense to me. Mayberry caught her husband cheating on her with Martha and went on a literal murderous rampage. Martha not only got almost killed by her but had to deal with assassins that Mayberry hired because she hated that much that Martha died.

Even if Martha doesn't know about the hired hit part, there's still the 'I-almost-got-killed-by-you' part. Why the fuck would anyone want to be intimately involved with someone who tried murdering them? Typically, you gotta be outright forced to be with someone who does that shit. And while Mayberry may have gotten revenge on who she wanted dead, I doubt that means she completely got over it and would be - likely should be - incensed if she ever came across Martha again.

Seriously, of all the female same sex couples for the show to put out, why did have to be the two women who, by all logical means, shouldn't even want to be in the same fucking room together, let alone be fuck friends?

Then there's not getting into Martha's family, which is its own can of worms. Sure, maybe the family managed to escape before the cops came since Moxxie did tell them that he would call them. Or maybe Ralph and the kids landed in a different spot from Martha when falling down in Hell and couldn't find her, especially Hell should be a huge, overpopulated place. All in all, it's one of the most improbable things ever that the family would personally want their beloved wife and mom to be with someone who tried killing her

Martha cheating on her husband, that's something people bring up sometimes. Except I don't think that was ever a problem because she and her family are cannibals. Wouldn't be surprised if Ralph not only allows his wife to seduce men to lure into their home to trap and eat later but also that Ralph does the same thing for women (and of course gay men for Ralph if the man swings both ways, like how Martha likely seduces the gay women). As for the kids, they're likely told by their parents that Martha just takes men to their home and get all close to those men because it's all part of the trap

Expectations Going Forward

As much as I put this title, this post isn't anything much. Really, it's just a bunch of things I wanna say about Helluva Boss and, to a lesser extent, Hazbin Hotel. Still stray away from this post if you don't want shit talked about these shows

First up, I used to get pissed over characters and writing decisions in Helluva Boss. That's how I was able to make a list of posts about how stupid the characters are which led me to believe that the show is just an universe where everyone's a dumbass in some shape or form. Then I dulled down in my anger when making a realization: it feels like Helluva Boss is just an edgy soap opera.

I mean, I don't watch soap operas so the most info I got is when it's being parodied on shows I do watch or when I hear about real soap operas in passing. If I got it right, soap operas have mainly three things: clearly defined heroes and villains, lots of relationship drama, and big emotional moments

Like sure, the heroes might be as despicable as the villains or maybe more so but the show makes it obvious who you're supposed to root for no matter what the heroes do. Then there's the big emotional moments thanks to either the heroes and villains that the soap operas clearly define or relationship drama. The relationship drama doesn't really need to have chemistry in soap operas just as long as it's a spectacle to watch. And the first two things create the big emotional moments to give us relief after a whole episode of it pounding in either how much of an evil bad guy that they were when oppressing the heroes or how two people are tragically kept from being a couple (or best friends again in the case of Blitz and Fizz) because of a misunderstanding or lack of communication or whatever other cliche tropes that soap operas like to use. It might even matter how much anything was built up or how well it was built up, either, just as well as it was to a certain extent before giving the big reliving emotional payoff

Really, from the sounds and looks of it, Helluva Boss checks all the major boxes of a soap opera. It's just more edgy because it has a shit ton of swearing and sex instead of a shit ton of Spanish. Sure, there's people who say that this show is some big masterpiece and they can go ahead and think that. I just can't think of this show as anything more than, as stated before, an edgy soap opera. It has gotten easier for me to see the show once I settled into that opinion

And honestly, I'm fully, completely expecting Hazbin Hotel to be that, too. Just a show full of spectacle, clearly defined heroes and villains, and big emotional moments. In another words, another edgy soap opera. I think it'll even have some relationship drama in the form of Angel Dust and Husk and that'll probably not have any actual chemistry, just as long as it looks sweet. Pretty much like Stolas and Blitz, although that one also has 'tragic' along with 'sweet'

Establishing Couples of Hazbin

What I mean by the title is that I'll be talking about couples that were couples from the start but were built up to be during the show. Now I put Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss together when talking about how the 'healthy' couples were still problematic as all fuck; honestly, it's like the healthy couples were just called healthy because the people involved are actually happy to be next to each other most of the time. I guess that's healthier in comparison to the messy couples

Anyways, the only built-up couples in Hazbin I can think of are two while Stolas and Blitzo is the only couple really being built up in Helluva. And Stolitz is practically the whole show of Helluva Boss by now so they need their own post.

And the thing is, whether it's stable or messy, all the couples in the hellaverse suck. They suck on some level, in some shape or form. Just, again, the healthy couples are probably just better in comparison to other relationships because the people involved are actually typically happy to be together.

(Also bringing up episode 4 at a couple points and I don't mean any disrespect if I don't have the same opinions as some. Just my own perspective and nothing more)

Cherri Bomb and Sir Pentious -

This is pretty short given how there's very little development to their relationship to the point (Seriously, TVtropes says that if one doesn't watch the pilot, it can feel that way, but no. I watched the damn pilot before the show and it still felt like it was out of nowhere). Anyways, there's a serious lack of concern about consent from both sides. Pentious might be the lesser of two evils at best, since he went ahead and stole a kiss from Cherri.

Of course, since I said that Pentious is the lesser of two evils, then Cherri is so much fucking worse. Particularly when she just let people drag an unwilling Pentious into a sex room to have sex. Granted, absolutely everyone didn't give a fuck that Pentious was being forced into sex but in this relationship, why the fuck would I want him to be with a woman who didn't a bat her eye at what was happening at the damn club? In fact, why would I want Pentious to be with a woman who only ever had any visible interest in him when Angel mentioned the 'two dicks' thing? Cherri could have gone to literally any snake demon in Hell if that's what she's going to care about. And if she would have liked Pentious because he's nice, then Cherri might think that he's easy to manage. Considering the shit she did at the club, I can't be convinced that Cherri would never think of Pentious as 'easy to manage'

Husk and Angel Dust -

Considering this was more important to the writers, there's more development but I still think of it as messed up and/or problematic from both sides.

First up, on Angel, he constantly invaded Husk's boundaries and personal space and just kept doing it no matter how blatantly Husk hates it. There's even a possibility that the scene at the bar in episode 4 was even a power move on Angel's part, just wanting to feel powerful or in charge for once. And just because there's a reason why Angel would do that doesn't mean I'll think it's okay for him to do that

I guess Husk takes in stride, while we're moving onto him. For whatever reason, he just cares that Angel is fake that it makes it fine that his boundaries were pushed all the time. I'm getting that impression anyways. But then he starts insulting him in the song and I first had the legitimate impression that Husk was doing it on purpose to get back at Angel for the harassment. Husk also seems to care about influencing Angel however he wants even if it's not consistent. Like how he says that Angel should have pride in being, according to the lines in the song, 'a coked-up dick-sucking ho' but then he turns around and makes it sound bad that Angel is maybe thinking about indulging in drugs

I guess Husk and Angel are fine when the writers didn't have them fight but I still think how they were before hooking up wasn't really all that great, especially if it's supposed to be a good relationship. I mean, I wouldn't consider it good if I got together with someone who continuously acted like they got better things to do than care about if they made me comfortable. The same for someone who makes me feel like I'm being insulted in some attempt to 'cheer me up' after I break down. (I got a little confused about some things that Angel said when he broke down so I didn't take him all that seriously when he went on about it but I digress and the point still stands)

Sexualities of Blitzo Cash

Okay, so this is probably going to offend people and I'm sorry for that but let me explain when I say this: I doubt Blitzo is actually pansexual.

So Blitzo has had multiple people when it came to his sex life or romantic interests over the course of the series and I thought about them all. Then I realized something: they're almost all guys

All the people Blitzo is confirmed on-screen, more or less, to have had sex with: Stolas and Chaz

All the people Blitzo has had sexual interest in: Moxxie, Fizzarolli, occasionally Millie, and maybe season 1 Striker (come on, for that last one, if you watched the episode, you'd at least see how I can see it)

All the people Blitzo definitely has had a relationship with: Verosika

Just to put it all together so that you can see it better -

Moxxie

Fizzarolli

Stolas

Chaz

Verosika

Occasionally Millie

Maybe season 1 Striker

See? Five out of seven on the list are guys. I got no indication that any of them are trans, either, so they were born male and stuck with it

I don't mean anything bad, either, when I bring up the trans thing. What I'm getting at is, if you're going to have a character you say is pansexual, AND give them as many people to be interested in like how Viv and the rest of the writers did for Blitzo, then why not take advantage of your character being pansexual?

If a character had a list even as long as Blitzo's, then the writers should have thrown in a trans person in it, as well as a nonbinary person and a genderfluid one and maybe even whoever else is on the spectrum. Fuck, the Helluva Boss writers couldn't even have thrown in some more women for Blitzo than just Verosika and sometimes Millie

Really, by the time the episode Oops came along, when I saw the fucking 'make out' request that Blitzo made of Fizz, I became convinced that Verosika was only created and that the occasional interest in Millie popped up at all JUST to prove that Blitzo isn't exclusively gay. But instead of making me think that he's pan, I just think he's bisexual with a heavy leaning towards men than women

Moments of Stupidity 13

Well, I guess I was misinformed or mistaken on when exactly the newest episode was gonna come out. Although I'm still making the post in early November and yeah, I'm certain the episode will still in this series of posts because, really, every single episode before it - excluding the pilot - have had stupid moments that progress the plot. If anything, the newest episode will be a shocker if it didn't have anything like that itself

Unhappy Campers -

Well... Moxxie's got a shit ton of stupid moments that pretty much carried at least a bulk of the plot so I should list them all before anyone else. So here goes

1) Moxxie made up pointless background stories for both himself and Millie. You two are on an assassination mission, not working as spies to gather information and shit. Even if you did need information, you didn't need to come up with too-complicated backstories for a simple hit

2) Moxxie completely ignores his wife's pointing out of the culprit. While he may have a point in that they shouldn't just assume shit, the culprit was so painfully fucking obvious that the guy should have been the first option they tried. Didn't Sherlock Holmes say in the book he comes from something about 'eliminating the obvious'? That means, by never investigating the most obvious thing about their case, it just makes Moxxie look even more inept at investigating if he covered all options except for the most obvious one

3) Moxxie just went up to a bunch of pre-teen girls, hijacked their conversation with bits of made-up info that just sounds so damn cringe as it goes on, and just expected that to work. It's like, even if he hadn't talked to a lot of teens before, especially while he was growing up, wouldn't he still see them around as he goes around town in any ring? Hear them talk? Could his upbringing really leave him so clueless that he would think that telling a bunch of teens who never met you before about periods would endear you to them? Even just spewing out stuff about yourself like it's trivia, does that really sound all that welcoming?

4) Moxxie decides to get so butthurt that a bunch of pre-teens don't like him that not only does he berate Millie for fitting in so effortlessly but also decides to care more about getting their approval than actually. Sure, throughout the week, he is watching through binoculars, no doubt trying to find the culprit, but he still lashed out at Millie because it still mattered more to him that he didn't get the kids' approval while his wife did. It was super damn obvious in the choice of words and how they were said so it was all so stupid, the kind of priorities Moxxie had. It never even occurred to Moxxie to use Millie's popularity to find answers. Seriously, if Moxxie couldn't get info, then why not Millie? Those kids would have told her anything she wanted to know

5) There was a little moment when Moxxie met up with Blitzo again. Blitzo says that he's trying to find his sister, kicks down the door, and yells out Barbie's name. Barbie yells Blitz's name back. Moxxie still asks is Blitzo knows her. And since there's fucking circus pictures of Blitzo and Barbie hung up in the office, then how the hell does Moxxie not have any inkling of Barbie's existence prior? Even without the pictures, and even though Barbie was disguised, the whole scene of Blitzo and Barbie meeting up with each other combined with Blitzo saying that he's looking for his sister makes it pretty damn obvious

Now a stupid moment that both Moxxie and Millie share together is that they don't try all that hard to keep up the charade that at least Moxxie thought was so important to maintain. It's even stupider for Moxxie because he's the one who made up the cover story that they're brother and sister. Yet Moxxie's complimenting Millie like he's attracted to her while they're on stage and still disguised as brother and sister. Then they fucking fuck on stage in front of cameras, because they decide that they're so horny that they simply shouldn't care where the fuck they are or who's watching to literally fuck around. Honestly, Blitzo might not even needed to try all that hard to watch Millie and Moxxie have sex since it's like that. No wonder Moxxie never found out until the episode Ozzie's that Blitzo has watched him and Millie do it a shit ton of times

Let's not leave Blitzo out of the equation, too. For the most part, he was a selfish jackass for creepily investigating the whereabouts of his sister who didn't want anything to do with him. The thing is, he apparently wanted to meet up with said sister so damn badly that he completely neglected a mission that came up. Blitzo had the fucking gall to chew Moxxie out for being so incompetent at this mission when it was thanks to Moxxie being incompetent that Blitzo even got to see his sister in the first place. Seriously, Blitzo might have just ran into a dead end or even gotten a hurt or dead sister because Moxxie had a braincell and didn't stop Millie from investigating the boathouse. Really, he's upset at Moxxie's ineptitude this episode but that's exactly what ended up doing him a solid this time. Besides, Blitzo also gave the mission to Moxxie to handle because he decided his company and the job a client came with didn't matter nearly as much as finding his sister so what place did Blitzo have to get on Moxxie's case for taking an entire damn week?

Even without all that, there's still the fact that Blitzo still acted like there was any remote chance in the end that Barbie was actually going to take him back. The asshole makes Barbie out to be the bitch for never contacting him, especially when she got of rehab - which is massively hypocritical given the fact that, in order to be shocked that Barbie checked out months ago, Blitzo had to go for that long without ever contacting his sister himself - accused Barbie of making Blitzo go through investigating and searching for her despite the fact it was entirely voluntary on his part, and never called off the hit that would leave Barbie without a job yet Blitzo still offered a chance to catch up like everything's going to be hunky-dory

Oh, and let's not forget a fucking huge-ass plot hole that makes Blitzo and also the rest of I.M.P. huge-ass idiots concerning the entire fucking premise of the series. At least, what was supposed to be the premise. I'm talking about the Asmodean Crystals. Apparently, those crystals are even better than the Grimoire in every possible way. Far more portable than the Grimoire, could easily avoid situations where you need to escape like in Truth Seekers because there'd be no spell to read or look at, and the crystals provide disguises that the Grimoire apparently doesn't - or maybe I.M.P. were too stupid to even think of trying and using spells from the book that would provide disguises. Yet no one in I.M.P. has a fucking crystal. No one even brings it up after Loona asked about disguises in Spring Broken. How the hell does anyone go for this long, almost halfway in season 2, without even thinking about getting a crystal? Millie might be one thing because she's someone living kind of isolated, at least not as crowded-looking as Pride or Greed seem to be, and she's never characterized as someone who goes out of her way to fixate on details. As long as things are fine, there's no need to think all that deeply. But what about Loona or Moxxie or Blitzo? Loona was the one who first brought up disguises so why the fuck wouldn't she also bring up the crystals at any point? She called the imps out for being so stupid to not have disguises, even if it was in worry for her own well-being, so why didn't Loona check with anyone about getting some damn crystals? Moxxie is the one most fixated on details and should have known about the different ways to go up to the surface. If not, he would have researched it; he seems like the type to do that. Blitzo is the one who's trying to start up his damn business. Even if he's a lazy ass who pushes his work onto others so that he doesn't have to do any heavy lifting for his company, you'd think that Blitzo would at least find some way to go up to the surface in the first place. He went to steal the Grimoire because he knew that was a way to do it. Did Blitzo really not look into more options than stealing a powerful book that a Geotia would definitely notice if it was missing? How the fuck did Blitzo think that mugging some cubi demons for their crystals would be too much work and/or be too dangerous than stealing the fucking Grimoire?

My Gripes with the Midseason Special

Yep, another post that I put down my less-than-favorable feelings about Helluva Boss. This time, it'll be about the currently latest episode, the Midseason Special. As always, any fans who love it as is should stay away from this post

So I had my gripes for a while and I finally got around to writing it down. The bummer about this is, it's actually something I would have loved seeing but I got bogged down by the spectacularly bad writing that is Helluva Boss by then. A heavy focus on Asmodeus and Fizzarolli, especially together, and minimal showcasing of Blitzo. (I don't think I'm alone in thinking that he really should have just stayed in the flashback but at least he didn't get shoved in too much outside of it)

Although Blitzo's actual screentime outside the flashback did get to me. First off, him taking his sweet fucking time shooting the entitled, creepy asshole. Seriously, he was there for freaking security; yeah, Ozzie intended Blitzo to talk Fizz out of continuing to work for Mammon but he was supposed to be security, especially as far as Fizz knew.

Yet Blitzo never shot the bastard when he started trash talking Fizz. He never shot the bastard when Fizz was very clearly having a panic attack as the rant went on. Blitzo never even shot the bastard when he gave a damn warning that he would. No, he just flat out punches the creep instead. That feels so lame! And of course, Blitzo let that creep kick the door down to Fizz's dressing room with a knife in his hands. Why would Blitzo let it get that far?

What makes all that even worse is that Blitzo was able to shot a dirty humper off Fizz while they were swooshing around in the air so you know for a fact that Blitzo was more than capable of shooting the creep before he even laid a hand or foot on the damn door. It was like the writers just wanted Blitzo to see Fizz and Ozzie be all lovey-freaking-dovey with each other and do the hypocrites joke on them

Honestly, the fact that Blitzo was so incompetent about shooting this one asshole made me feel pissed off to see Blitzo being caring for Fizz. Seriously, he had the freaking gall to ask if Fizz is okay when he let the creep trash-talk Fizz for as long as he did

That's my biggest gripe with Blitzo in the episode but I did get annoyed at him for that dirty joke at the end because why wouldn't a Helluva Boss episode end with some dirty joke if not melodramatic moment or someone being an unfunny jerkass for the sake of an ending joke? (Seriously, I started building up a decent opinion on Blitzo in Exes and Oohs, only for Blitzo to thoroughly tear it down to smithereens with that last line of his in Unhappy Campers. I seriously hate that I'm stuck with that asshole as the main character as I weather it out for my actual favorites)

My other biggest gripe is, unfortunately, Fizzarolli. Because the thing is, as much as I hated that Blitzo was forgiven by Fizz and that flashback so weakly establishing what beef they had for each other, I did enjoy Fizz's characterization in that episode. I loved that Fizz was a non-combative who needed to be protected from physical danger but he didn't let that stop him from being so damn mouthy and sassy. Seriously, Fizz was duct taped by the fucking Mafia and was threatened by Striker and Fizz still had the guts to call Striker 'fuck face' and heavily imply that his breath was bad. Even then, when he got on the field - so to speak - Fizz still did whatever he could to protect himself. He tried that horn thing he used on Ozzie in the morning, he tried using a banana peel, he ran with as much gusto as possible, and he readily provided a distraction for Blitzo to do his thing. Fizz was amazing! Even though he didn't know how to fight, even though he wasn't good at fighting, Fizz didn't let that stop him from fighting back however he could or from surviving and I loved that.

Then the Midseason Special happens and Fizz is so bizarrely sensitive all of a sudden. He was so non-combative and sensitive that it kept me thinking back to the last episode and wonder 'why is this different for Fizz? Why can he mouth off the fucking mafia but not a random asshole who clearly doesn't have a life?' My feisty jester who didn't let being physical weak stop him from fighting however he could is gone! Seriously, how am I supposed to enjoy a characterization that Stolas has already owned since the beginning of fucking season 2!?

I don't mean any disrespect for people who gone through what Fizz did in the Midseason Special, just so you know. What I have a problem with is that it's specifically Fizz who's the way that he is in this episode. I can get Fizz not being able to do a thing about Mammon, deadly sin and all, but why is he letting this random asshole get to him this much this easily? And Glitz and Glam, for that matter. Why is Fizz just letting him be bitches off stage? Season one Fizz or even just the Fizz from the very last episode wouldn't let it slide, regardless of preparations to beat them in the competition

The last gripe I could have is that Fizz and Ozzie are too soft for my taste now. It's like Millie and Moxxie if both sides were male and they actually get a conflict with some meat to it in an episode they star in, even if the conflict's definitely going to be resolved by the end. Anyways, I was okay with how their relationship was like in Oops but then the Midseason Special happens and now it's too sweet that it legit feels like cringe to me. It actually makes me miss the season 1 portrayals, where Fizz and Ozzie seemed like a villainous couple who not only enjoyed each other's company but also enjoyed being villainous together. They were an awful couple who was more awful to everyone around them but completely loving or at least caring towards each other. That was great! I would have wanted to see that! I'd still want to see the Fizzmodeus show over the Stolitz one but they're still way too sugary sweet