Headcannons: Pokguys With Affection

Headcannons: Pokéguys with affection

I was in a Valentine's Day mood, alright? 💗

Ships: Poke, Contest, Ikari, Wish, Geekchic, Oldrival, Handyman, Fourthwheel hints

… and Brock

WARNING: LONG POST

Ash

— Ash is legitimately good at flirting — but the thing is, he doesn’t even know he’s flirting.

— He and Misty are walking through the Kanto snow all bundled up, and Ash notices Misty rubbing her hands together and shivering.

— “You cold, Mist?” Ash asks, and before she can respond he just. Takes her hand, locks their fingers together, and puts her hand in his pocket.

— Misty damn near has a heart attack, sputtering and turning bright red. Before she could say anything though, Ash continues on, holding her hand as they walk.

—He’ll also be complimenting her, saying “Wow, Misty, you look beautiful with your hair down!” or “Misty, you were incredible battling that Pokemon today!” 

— Misty feels like a little girl talking with her childhood crush (okay, maybe that comparison was a little too accurate …) so the only thing she can respond with are stuttering half-insults before fleeing in shame.

— Ash is a very physical person. Always has been, always will be. He’ll be slinging an arm around her shoulder, walking close so that their bodies bump, pull her into a side hug, even arm wrestling her. The touch is so casual, but it’s so often that Misty can’t help but psychoanalyze every interaction.

— Poor Pikachu has spent many nights with Misty’s face cuddled in his fur to hide her blush. He’s had his ear talked off with Misty’s ramblings of “—does he even know he’s flirting with me?! Is he even flirting?! He’s gotta know! Or am I just making it up all in my head again? Is this psychological warfare or something?!”

— Misty doesn’t know if Ash is flirting with her, if he even knows if he is, if he’s even aware of what he’s doing. Misty gets so flustered she becomes angry that she’s so flustered. She wants to beat him with her mallet for making her so embarrassed; another part doesn’t because she likes the Butterfree he puts in her stomach.

— Ash Ketchum is so impeccably smooth at flirting and pulling moves he isn’t even aware; he just thinks he’s being nice and friendly. He has a trail of hearts behind him after all his travels and he doesn’t even realize.

***

— Brock is a little ways behind them, watching with pure shock.

Drew

— Roses. It’s always roses with those two.

— When Drew would give roses to May ( *ahem* sorry, Beautifly) it was a mocking. The flowers were filled with taunts about how her Pokémon were carrying May to victory.

— Then as Drew starts noticing May, his roses become fleeting — everyone knows what red roses meant. How could Drew give out roses when he didn’t even know who he was really giving them to?

— Drew fell in love with May, and May fell in love with Drew, and there was a trail of roses between them like a timeline.

— When they date, they are the most lovey-dovey couple in the room. At first, all of their friends were happy that they got together, but soon they grow sick of the constant PDA

— Honestly, whenever Max walks into the room and see May and Drew in there, he just straight up walks right out. May gets so offended, but she quickly forgets her brother’s disgusted face when Drew pulls her in for a kiss

— May and Drew have started dating, and May finally drops the bomb about meeting her family. Drew instantly gets flashbacks of Max’s judgey looks, know-it-all expression, and suspicious eyes from Hoenn and almost regrets dating May.

— Apparently, May has been holding off the meeting for quite a while, but has finally conceded. Caroline is sweet and welcoming, swooning about May getting a boyfriend and gushing how handsome he is. Max is still as skeptical as ever, but has softened to the idea of Drew thanks to his traveling partner, Bonnie.

— And Norman … May left Drew and her dad in the same room for less than a minute, and when she came back Drew spent the rest of the time subtly hiding behind May

— When Drew asked May to marry him, he made it this big extravagant proposal. He led May on a scavenger hunt, each rose with a romantic letter on where to find him. When she finally found him, she had a dozen red roses and a ring on her finger on the beach of Slateport City.

***

— Brock is a little ways behind them, watching with pure jealousy

Paul

— Reggie is the first one to notice the way his brother is always touching Dawn. It’s so subtle, Dawn doesn’t realize it; Reggie doubts that even Paul realizes he’s doing it. But for someone who has been raising his younger brother all his life, it’s so obvious.

— Paul is usually adverse to physical touch, so seeing Dawn and Paul interact is like a slap to the face. His hand is barely touching her hip as he guides her to where they’re going. When they sit together their shoulders brush. He leans down to Dawn’s level to lowly talk in her ear. Not to mention the way Paul looks at her —

— Reggie honestly can’t believe his eyes when he sees them together for the first time. He can’t help but tell Maylene, and of course he confronts Paul with some teasing.

— Whenever someone asks about Dawn and Paul’s relationship, Reggie cheekily replies, “They’re an affectionate couple.” Paul always scowls darkly.

— Dawn had no idea until Maylene lets it slip. At first, she just stares and laughs, because the words Paul and affectionate don’t even belong in the same sentence.

— But then Dawn suddenly realizes: she is always the first one to initiate contact — through a held hand, a hug, or a kiss on the lips ...

— But Paul was always the one to let it linger. He never pulled his hand away, he would let her hug him (sometimes he would even lean into it), and he would even kiss her in private.

— Dawn was always the one who pulled away first: becoming embarrassed if someone would walk in on them or pulling away to look at a cute store.

— She immediately sets out to do an experiment of her own: to see how long Paul could deal with physical affection.

— One day Paul is laying on his couch doing whatever, and Dawn sees the perfect opportunity. She strolls over, stands over him, and just … clambers on top of him, resting her head on his chest and fitting her body snugly between his legs.

— He was effectively pinned down. Paul went stiff with surprise, and Dawn honestly expects him to push her away and mutter complaints under his breath as he stalks away.

— After a moment, Paul sighs and drapes his arm around her waist, going back to whatever he was doing. Dawn’s heart leaps, and her belly does a dozen backflips. She honestly can’t believe she’s getting away with this.

— But this was only half of the challenge. Now, Dawn had to wait and see how long he would tolerate her. So she settles down, closes her eyes, and falls asleep to the feeling of Paul’s warmth and even breathing.

— When she wakes up, hours have passed. Paul’s hand is still on her waist, she has drooled a little bit in his shirt, and he was undoubtedly uncomfortable from sitting for so long.

— Still, it is a testament on how much he truly likes her when he says nothing about his discomfort when she wakes.

— For some reason, he distinctly feels like he’s passed a test when Dawn sees that he’s still there and kisses him

***

— Brock is a little ways behind them, watching with pure disbelief

Cilan

— Chilli and Cress absolutely adore Iris. She’s sassy and blunt and determined, and a perfect fit for Cilan. Chilli loves going back and forth with Iris trading sarcastic quips and Cress appreciates her blunt honesty

— She’s practically a part of the family, inviting herself over to the gym and spending weekends there. Half the stuff at their place is practically her’s, and she shows absolutely no shame in that fact.

— When all of their friends know they’re dating, they are simultaneously surprised and not in the process. It’s just that Cilan and Iris are so different, one a sophisticated civilian and another a animalistic wild child. But they just fit together, so well that none of their friends can ever imagine seeing them with another person.

— When Ash hears that they’re dating, he is beaming. Because while he’s happy that all his friends found their significant other, none of them have gotten together with their traveling partner (except for Serena and Clemont, but that comes later)

— Ash feels like a proud matchmaker because he says Iris and Cilan would not have gotten together if it weren’t for him. Iris calls him a little kid.

— Cilan shows his love through words of appreciation, which never fails to embarrass Iris.

— Whenever his Dragon Master wins a battle, he showers her with praise for her and her Pokémon. It’s like his evaluation times, filled with so much fervor and passion.

— Iris always gets so embarrassed, especially if her friends and rivals are there teasing her, but she secretly likes the attention and the praise she gets from Cilan (he is her boyfriend, and a World-Class Pokémon Connoisseur)

— Sometimes when she gets particularly embarrassed, she just marches over to Cilan in the middle of the battle, yanks him down to her height, and kisses him hard to shut him up.

— It always works (Cilan turns bright red and dazed, and to Iris’s satisfaction, he always, always shuts his mouth afterwards) but they don’t know that Iris’s kisses inadvertently fuel Cilan to go on his rants.

— So in actuality, does it really work?

***

— Brock is a little ways behind them, watching with pure awe

Clemont

— Clemont has always admired Serena ever since their traveling days, but he would always push aside his feelings when he saw the way Serena looked at Ash.

— Back then, he had low confidence and even lower social skills. There was no way he can compare to Ash. So he pushed aside his feelings and focused on being her friend instead, supporting her and working to improve himself.

— It took a long time for Clemont to work up the courage to ask Serena out. She was trying to get over her crush on Ash, and they were both too busy focusing on their dreams

— One day, Serena went with Bonnie to cheer Clemont on in a super important Pokémon match. Clemont won, of course, and right before his final move Serena is struck.

— Clemont’s face was bright with electricity and his eyes were clear with confidence. Serena is struck, because she just realized Clemont wasn’t that geeky kid with low self-esteem and inventions that blew up anymore. Clemont was grown, and Serena feels like she is seeing him for the first time.

— It wasn’t just how he looked (Serena was mature enough to admit that Clemont looked … well, amazing during the battle), it was his confidence.

— It wasn’t the Ash type of confidence — bold, brash, and brave. It was the Clemont type of confidence — intellectual and sharp, confident in knowing he would win because Clemont was a lot of things, and no one could ever say he wasn’t smart.

— When Clemont wins, he immediately turns to Serena and Bonnie with a bright smile. Bonnie is beaming and bouncing on her feet, and Serena finds herself blushing with her heart pounding faster than the time she kissed Ash.

— Ever since then, Serena can’t get the stupid feelings out of her head. Her crush on Ash feels childish and far away compared to Clemont.

— Clemont is shy and awkward, but he is sweet and charming. Serena has always known this, but now it’s in a whole new light. She can’t help but notice all these little details about him, like the way his hands move when he talks, or the way he pushes up his glasses and the way his eyes light up.

— Whenever Clemont is working on an invention, Serena finds herself genuinely trying to listen and help. Whenever she stays over, she offers to help Clemont with the cooking.

— They go out to see the lights on top of Prism Tower, Serena teaches Clemont to properly dance, and they spend late nights in the gym just enjoying their companionship.

— At first, Clemont is frustratingly oblivious, blinking innocently and awkwardly laughing whenever they seem to have a romantic atmosphere lingering around them. Serena wouldn’t label it as Ash-Level-Oblivious, (because, frankly, nobody can ever be denser than Ash) because back when she had a crush on him, she was actively trying to hide it.

— Clemont, however, for all his bright intelligence and love knowledge (mostly stemming from Bonnie) can’t figure out for the life of him that Serena was flirting with him. She didn’t know how much more obvious she could get!

— (Just last week, Clemont’s father, Meyer, wouldn’t stop smirking knowingly and last month, Misty had thrown her a half sympathetic-pitying-understanding look when she and Ash came over to visit.)

— Clemont hasn’t noticed Serena’s flirting, but he has noticed that she’s been acting strange. With him, specifically. It’s almost as if she’s flirting with him, but obviously she isn’t because they are just friends.

— Clemont’s heart already skips beats whenever Serena dresses up, and he sometimes gets tongue-tied when she smiles at him, and his face feels very warm whenever she hold his hand but — they are just. friends.

— Clemont doesn’t want to give himself false hope and he already feels like he’s betraying Serena’s friendship with his stupid infatuation he’s had since they were kids.  

— (But still … still …)

— Clemont can’t help but compare what Serena is like now to when she had a crush on Ash. He can’t help but notice the longer hours she spends at the Lumiose Gym, even when Bonnie’s not here. He can’t help but notice the way she smiles at him, holding him close as she teaches him how to dance. He can’t help but notice how her eyes sparkle when she looks at him, shining brighter than they ever did when she looked at Ash.

— Bonnie is totally oblivious to the growing tension whenever Serena is over at the Lumiose Gym, or to the stolen moments the two seem to have that she unassumingly walks in on. Serena’s always been close to the family, and she and Clemont are friends.

— It’s Max, Señor Skeptical, Mr. “I hate romance, why focus on love when you can focus on Pokemon” Maple, that has to tell her what’s going on (seriously, he thought she was the love expert) and she flips out.

— She then immediately plots to get them together (mentally planning their wedding in the process) and drags Max along in the mix despite his protests

— She does everything she can to create romantic atmospheres for Clemont and Serena (Max told her that proposing to Serena for Clemont would only scare her off).

— Clemont and Bonnie argue over her schemes and Max is standing behind her, mentally trying to communicate with Clemont his utter sympathies.

— Finally, after a long uphill battle, Bonnie triumphs by embarrassing Clemont enough to make him ask her out.

— Clemont is red and stuttering through his whole proposal, and Serena, having figured out what he was planning on asking her a while ago, just decided to put him out of his misery and kiss him, blushing pink.

— Clemont is breathless and dazed afterwards. It was so cute, Serena finds her gut clenching hotly and her biting her lip to hide the enormous smile growing on her face. It was definitely worth it, waiting this long.

***

— Max and Bonnie are little ways behind them, and Bonnie throws her arms around Max in celebration

Gary

— Gary Oak has known Leaf Green since childhood. She had grown up with him and Ash. They were the trio of Pallet town. Gary spent days at his Grandpa’s lab with her and Ash and nights at Delia’s house for dinner.

— Ash and Gary were rivals, but him and Leaf were something else. Ever since they were kids they were always arguing, going back and forth with each other. 

— They go separate ways as their journeys take them on separate paths. Gary becomes a successful Pokemon researcher and Leaf has traveled all over the regions. 

— Years have passed when he runs into Leaf again by complete chance.

— At first he can’t believe his eyes. How on earth was this gorgeous woman the bratty girl he grew up with? It’s the same for Leaf. Gary has always been a know-it-all as a kid, but when did he grow into this handsome researcher? She had always brushed him off as that guy who cared more about his hair and girls.

— They catch up and it’s like no time has passed. They still bicker and argue about every little thing under the sun, but now Gary is finally able to label the tension between them.

— They get kicked out of the place they’re in, and when he gets home, he has the biggest, goofiest smile on his face that — quote Misty — “makes him look like an idiot” and Leaf’s number in his pocket.

— Professor Oak knows right away that his grandson has met Leaf, and tells him to invite her over to Pallet Town. Oak has always had a soft spot for Leaf; ever since they were kids he could see that she’s the only one for Gary.

— Before Leaf is suppose to come over, everyone can tell that Gary is nervous. He does his best to not show it, obviously, but he was surrounded by the people who knew him best. Gary keeps running his hands through his hair and the Pokémon are particularly skittish (Pokemon reflect their trainers, after all). Ash, Tracey, and Misty tease him relentlessly while Delia and Oak look on in amusement

— When Misty meets Leaf she instantly likes her: Leaf is strong and stubborn and determined. She is striking and vivacious, and the perfect match for Gary. She’s honestly the only one who could put up with him.

— Misty and Leaf get along great, and when they meet up they constantly make fun of their boyfriends. They are both fierce battlers, and often challenge each other to battles whenever they see each other just like Gary and Ash in their younger days.

— Gary and Leaf spend time together, exchanging snarky flirty comments with each other. They both like to drive each other wild with their teasing and their friends are crazy with the thought “oh god, will those two ever get together?” They’re both hot, and they know it. 

— Sometimes Gary gets pulled away with work, so Leaf joins him whenever he’s on a research dig. She brings warm coffee and offers insight to what he’s missing and fights back a smile whenever Gary geeks out about his findings (she finds it cute how his eyes light up when he rambles — even though she has no idea what he’s saying).

— Leaf absolutely wears the pants in the relationship, because there’s no way she’s letting Gary dominate their relationship. Gary is not willing to admit he’s whipped for Leaf but he is. And everyone can see it. Gary would ruthlessly make fun of everyone for their girlfriends wearing the pants in the relationship, but it’s the exact same with Leaf. He’ll be stubborn, pout, whine, and complain, but will ultimately do her bidding. Everyone is amused.

— Leaf likes the fact that Gary is smart, and is able to hold an intelligent conversation. Back when they were kids, he would go on these spiels of Pokemon facts and would rub the knowledge in her face. It made him very punchable. Now, Leaf can’t help but be immensely attracted to Gary whenever he goes on rants of his research findings. 

— With Gary, he likes how Leaf can keep up with him. Gary can never really get bored with her like he does with other girls because Leaf keeps him on his toes. Their banter keep him up for days on end, and her flirting makes him wild. Her strength and perseverance makes his heart jump in admiration. She makes him want to be better.

***

— Brock is a little ways behind them, watching with pure annoyance

Tracey

— Tracey met Daisy through Misty when she invited him to the Cerulean Gym, and the first time he saw the eldest Waterflower sister his heart skipped a beat

— He had only heard of Misty’s sisters through her long rants over the phone, so he had a (less than appealing) idea of who they were — even though he had tried his best to remain neutral

— But the first time he saw her, his fingers itched with the urge to sketch as he shook her hand. They didn’t say anything beyond greetings before Misty came in and dragged him away, he found he couldn’t stop thinking about her the whole visit

— He had to go back to Pallet Town eventually, and he finds himself drawing distracted sketches of Daisy when he’s supposed to take notes.

— He can’t help it. Usually when he’s struck with inspiration, he sketches it down instantly. With Daisy he didn’t get the time to do that, so it made sense why he couldn’t get her out of his head

— That’s what he told Gary anyway, when he caught him drawing a sketch of Daisy’s face. Gary merely shakes his head, calls him and idiot, and sends him packing for Cerulean City before he can even blink

— Tracey’s heart is beating unusually fast when he asks Daisy if he can sketch her, and a flattered, surprised, beautiful grin crosses her face (he immediately starts drawing it down)

— They spend a lot of time together, and Tracey finds out he can’t get enough of Daisy. They end up talking about everything under the sun, sharing secrets and sketches with each other.

— Tracey is fascinating and unlike anyone Daisy has ever dated. Daisy is much more that she appears, and Tracey wants to peel back every layer to see her true beauty

— (picture Jack and Rose from the Titanic. They definitely do the draw-me-like-one-of-your-French-girls when they start dating. )

— Tracey feels denser than Ash when he realizes that the feelings he associated with sketching Daisy were actually for Daisy herself.

— Tracey stays around Cerulean City for a while, using the excuse of checking out the water Pokemon and helping with the plumbing so Misty doesn’t get suspicious

— Misty is definitely suspicious of the way Tracey turns red whenever Daisy makes a flirtatious comment, or the way her sister seemed to brighten whenever she heard he was around or coming over

— It took her a while to corner Tracey and demanded answers, but he finally admitted to it. Misty instantly accepts him, but she makes a show of threatening him if he hurts his sister

— (all of her sisters boyfriend’s have to pass the “Misty Test”. Misty refuses to be around douchebags (minus Gary) and to have to deal with her sisters crying after a failed date or broken heart. The Misty Test has scared off multiple suitors, but her older sisters are ultimately grateful despite their complaining of not as much boys around the house because of Misty’s Gyrados)

— Daisy ends up asking him out because Tracey was too much of a coward. She laces their hands together, kisses his cheek, and tells him to pick her up at 5.

— Tracey ends up staying the night

***

— Gary is infinitely smug, and Professor Oak merely shakes his head with amusement

Brock

— Brock has been a sad, sad boy watching all his friends grow up and fall in love — and yet Brock can’t seem to find his special lady! He is a successful Pokemon doctor, a great breeder, a good cook, and shoots the best one-liners, if he does say so himself.

— Brock becomes so desperate he actually goes to the guys for help … and it goes exactly as expected. Ash is clueless, Paul says nothing, Drew is unhelpful, Clemont was shy, Tracy was nervous, Gary was Gary, and Cilan was just overall confusing.

— Then he goes to the girls for advice, and while their insight was helpful to an extent … that was it. He went to Misty, May, and Dawn, listening to their offhanded remarks on who liked Brock back (it was a pathetically short list) while wearing face masks and nail polish.

— Brock was about to resign himself to a lonely, loveless life of a bachelor before he came across an offer.

— Bonnie, satisfied that her brother has found a suitable wife in Serena, offers her help in the matchmaking business — and drags Max along with her.

— Arceus, it pains Brock to take orders from Max’s smug little mouth, but he finds equal petty retaliation by pointing out how easily Bonnie bends Max to her bidding

— It takes a while for them to get in sync with each other — Brock was chasing after every other girl and Bonnie was eager to help by doing the exact same thing. Max was the one with the only brain cell when it came to girls

— The trio bond through terrible rom-com movies for “research” — Brock chose the movies, Bonnie got the snacks, and Max would rather die than admit that he actually liked the dramas

— Between Bonnie’s sweet blue eyes, Brock’s cheesy (but romantic) lines, and Max’s intellect, the trio soon have this matchmaking thing down in the bag

— They find him a perfect match and send Brock in (“— just be yourself, cheesy one-liners come later —”) and it’s a huge success. Brock has swept her off her feet and he can hear Bonnie cheering from outside the Pokemon Center’s window

— Brock is right where he’s meant to be, glowing with happiness.

***

— He isn’t done yet, though. He still has to get Max back for all the ear-pulling he did back in Hoenn.

Ninjago Pokémon 

I have no idea where this came from but let’s just go with it, okay?

Ninjago Aesthetics

Traitor Lloyrumi AU

Here is something to shed some light on the situation: Ninjago City was taken over. It was overrun by someone called the Quiet One, also known as Harumi. But she didn’t single-handedly take over Ninjago City. No, she had the help of someone else. Someone named Lloyd Garmadon. 

Tags: Toxic Relationships (it’s Harumi), Self Harm, Harm

Chapter inspired by Act Natural, by the-modern-typewriter on Patreon

Lloyd’s new purpose in life was to be entertaining. 

He was locked away in Harumi’s penthouse while she went to work . He was just supposed to be there — warming her bed, waiting for her to get home, cooking her meals, ect. 

It was like a sick version of playing house, with Lloyd as the lovesick husband waiting for his dear wife to get home. 

Lloyd would have preferred torture to this. He supposes this is why Harumi chose this to begin with. 

Here is something to shed some light on the situation: Ninjago City was taken over. It was overrun by someone called the Quiet One, also known as Harumi. But she didn’t single-handedly take over Ninjago City. No, she had the help of someone else. Someone named Lloyd Garmadon. 

Lloyd was a civilian in Ninjago City, but he was friends with the Ninja, the protectors of this city. They had raised him when they found him on the street, and had loved him as one of their own. He wasn’t an Elemental Master like them, so as soon as he was old enough he went on to lead a civilian life — go to school, get a job, ect. 

That was until Harumi came into his life. Looking back, Lloyd should have known that having such obvious connections to the Ninja would lead to trouble. Draw in the wrong types of people. 

The Quiet One was a dangerous figurehead in Ninjago City. They had a name, but Lloyd was finally able to put a face to it one dark night when Harumi slid into his life with dangerous eyes and silky threats. 

She used his fear. She made him her pawn, and used him to betray his family. With inside information from Lloyd, Harumi was able to hit them, hit the city, where it hurts. 

Because of Lloyd, Ninjago City was sent crumbling to its knees and the Ninja were left reeling. Nobody knew if they were dead or alive or if they had found refuge in another city. 

And Lloyd?

Harumi picked him up in the middle of the night, praised him, and then stole him away.

Harumi was away now, dealing with running her new city. Lloyd got out of the shower, steam curling the air as he dried himself on his towel and put on his clothes when — 

Hands seized him from behind, clamping over his mouth before he could yelp and slammed him to a wall.

“Easy, Lloyd. We’re here to rescue you. Easy.”

Lloyd froze. Blinking, stunned, Lloyd whipped around and faced one of the brothers’ he betrayed. 

Kai . 

He looked older than he did when he last saw him. Wearier, more tired, and he had a new scar under his eye that wasn't there before. Lloyd swallowed the lump in his throat. 

He did that. 

It was his fault that Kai was so worn, so battle-torn and rough. Lloyd had betrayed Kai and his family because he was too afraid, too cowardly. 

“What are you doing here?” Lloyd asked. It suddenly occurred to him that Harumi would be back soon, and if she saw Kai standing in their bedroom she would kill him. A sharp spike of fear shot through him. 

“Rescuing you,” Kai said. “You’re our friend, remember? We’re family.”

Another spike shot through him, but it wasn’t fear. It was pain, lancing through his entire being and stealing his breath away. 

“But I betrayed you,” Lloyd hissed. A sudden bout of anger hit him. Why was Kai risking his stupid life for a traitor like him? Lloyd had single-handedly destroyed the city that he and his friends so dearly loved just because he was afraid of dying at the hands of Harumi. Why didn’t Kai get it that he should hate him, that he didn’t deserve to be saved?

Something in Kai’s face shifted, pulling back a little bit to stare at Lloyd’s face. His eyes were soft as he reached forward and put his hand on Lloyd’s face, daringly. The only times Harumi did that was to see his reactions, to bask in every flavor of emotion flickering across his face. 

“We don’t blame you, Lloyd,” he said. 

His heart stopped. “What?” 

Kai put both hands to his face, staring Lloyd straight in the eyes so he could understand. “We don’t blame you. None of us do. You aren’t made to fight monsters like us, Lloyd, you aren’t trained like we are. You weren’t prepared when Harumi came after you, and that’s on us ; we’re your family, and we should have known that relations to us would have consequences. We — you shouldn't have gone through that alone.”

Lloyd blinked rapidly, tears stinging his angry eyes and falling unhindered. 

That had to be the kindest thing anyone had said to him in the months of Harumi’s care. All of Harumi’s kindness and honeyed words had an edge, but Lloyd could deal with that. This kind of kindness — Kai’s kindness — only made him feel unworthy of the sweetness after everything he’s done.

He flung himself at Kai, burying himself in the comforting embrace he had missed. “ I’m sorry,” he sobbed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know what to do — she said she'd kill me all if I didn’t tell her — she said you died — ”

Kai soothed him, rubbing his back like he did when Lloyd was a kid and pulled away. “I know, it’s okay,” he said. “C’mon, we have to go before Harumi gets back. The others are waiting for you.” 

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Lloyd nodded, locking his emotions behind a steel wall. 

Then he followed Kai. 

***

When Kai and Lloyd made their way to the warehouse where everyone was camping out, the first thing he saw was his family. 

Nya, Zane, Jay, Cole, and PIXAL were standing in the dreary surroundings like beams of strength, all dressed in their Ninja gear. 

The minute Lloyd stepped into view, Nya put away her weapon and flung herself into his arms, burying her head into the crook of his neck. She didn’t say anything, but Lloyd could feel her trembling as she squeezed him so tight he hurt. 

Lloyd didn’t do anything but close his eyes and squeeze her back, but he still felt the sharp pain lace his heart as Nya pulled away and wiped her wet eyes. After pulling away Jay took her place, then Zane, then PIXAL, then Cole. 

After his family drew away did Lloyd wipe his tears, feeling more emotion than he had the past few months. 

“I’m sorry,” Lloyd mumbled out. It seemed like he would never be able to say those words enough and not stop the wave of guilt. 

Cole shook his head. “It’s not your fault Lloyd. Not entirely. We should have noticed. You were forced into this. You didn’t have a choice.” 

Lloyd swallowed the bile in his throat. He did have a choice though. He could have chosen to be more brave. He could have chosen to say no to Harumi’s lethal eyes. He could have — he could have — 

He must have seen the millions of thoughts dashing across his expression, because Cole shook his head, eased his grip off his shoulder.

“There’s no time to explain everything,” Cole said. “We don’t have long before The Quiet One gets back.”

Lloyd’s stomach twisted with unease; palms clammy with sweat at the thought. He couldn’t be sure, but he couldn’t help but think that things were going all too smoothly. Harumi was a cold leader, and a calculating strategist. She controlled the city, had eyes everywhere. 

“We had to make sure you were safe,” Jay said, hollow. “You were in the city, and we heard that she took you. We had to find a way into the city. So we studied her. Her strengths. Her weaknesses. And … that was you. Harumi — the Quiet One — she’s … obsessed with you.”

Lloyd swallowed, shifting his feet. He … didn’t know what to think with that. Sure, she was … she was … Harumi, but Lloyd didn’t really think she cared about him that much. There was some level of strong feeling, but Lloyd always thought that was just her being cruel. It didn’t mean anything, not really.

She had always coveted him, desired him for sure, but never as an equal, as an actual person. Harumi doted on him in the way one might treat a beloved pet or a favourite tool. 

Harumi pressed feathery kisses on him, ran lingering fingers over his body, and had always breathed that they were kindred spirits in his ear, but that wasn’t love . 

Right? 

PIXAL spoke up, snapping him from his thoughts. “You are the only thing, beyond her own power, that she seems to care about. That makes you the perfect bait. It might be our only chance to —”

The words cut out with a gasp. PIXAL’s green eyes flashed in the darkness and it took Lloyd a second too late to see what she saw. 

A knife was thrown, deadly and precise as it plunged in Jay’s shoulder. Jay screamed and went down, the sound chilling Lloyd to the bones as blood poured out the wound, turning the cement slippery and red. His blue gi stained dark as it seeped through the fabric. The knife thrown had pinned Jay’s shoulder straight to the ground.

“JAY!” Nya screamed and went to his side, breathing unsteadily as the blood pooled around her. 

“To what? Kill me?” Harumi’s echoey voice rang through the silence. 

She slithered from the shadows, one of her knives spinning in her hand with the utmost grace. Her white hair was the brightest thing in the warehouse, and the warpaint smeared under her eyes was the same shade of Jay’s blood. 

But she was different. Her face was twisted with rage, eyes blazing, looking nothing like the cool and calculating calm that Lloyd had grown used to seeing. Harumi was something wild and savage coiled up in a human shape.

She stalked forward like a wrathful shadow, bent on the destruction and blood of his friends. Her hands were trembling, shaking with fury, and she looked almost feral with the need to kill.

“Hardly. Not when you think it is possible to get away with taking what’s mine.”

Cold plunged through Lloyd. He was on their feet in an instant, heart lurching as he moved between his captor and his friends, arms wide.

Her eyes flicked to him. “And now,” Harumi said, “once again all of your friends will die. Slowly. Painfully. Because of you .”

Lloyd cringed. His breathing turned shallow. He became acutely aware of his friends behind him, desperate. Of Jay bleeding out, shaking. Of all the open spaces where Harumi’s men could take them out.

She lunged forward with bloody intent, knives swinging, but Lloyd moved quicker.

He snatched the blade hanging from Kai’s belt and pressed the sharp edge into his own throat. 

“STOP!”

Harumi froze.

Lloyd took the moment to survey his surroundings: half of his friends had drawn their weapons and the other half were crouching by Jay. He was bleeding, but the knife lodged in seemed to stop it from spilling all out. It was nowhere fatal, thank God — Harumi wanted them to suffer, to have their hearts carved out and leave their corpses soaked in blood. 

Lloyd has never felt so terrified in his life. Not when Harumi first rolled up to him in a limo with her sharp smile. Not when the reality of what he’s done for her came crashing down with the screams of his friends. Not in the moments where there was the quiet before the chaos; when Harumi would wind her arm around his neck, whisper that he was hers, and kiss him senseless. 

But amidst the terror, there was resolve. Lloyd had done a lot of bad things, but maybe this could make up for it. His fear was what led Harumi to manipulate him, his own cowardice leading to the demise of the city and his family. 

Lloyd wouldn’t stand aside and let the same thing happen this time. 

“Let them go,” Lloyd said. Harumi had never told him that she loved him, and he had always thought that her wayward affectionate behavior was just to be cruel, but… “Let them go right now , or I’ll slit my throat.”

But he had to try something.

Harumi’s fingers flexed, ready to pounce, but didn’t move. Her eyes were laser-focused on the dagger by his throat. Her men burst from the darkness, but she held up a hand, stopping them. 

“You wouldn’t,” Harumi hissed. She was furious, but if Lloyd didn’t know any better, he would say she looked almost desperate. Lloyd shifted the blade, and he swore he saw fear in her eyes. 

She lowered her voice, making it silky and velvety. Trying to conceal her obvious desperation. “You wouldn’t do it,” she continued softly. “After everything you’ve done? All that you did to save your own skin? You value your life too much to — ”

The knife sunk into Lloyd’s skin, and blood dripped down the stinging wound.

The silence following that seemed like the loudest thing in the warehouse. Harumi shut up, hands lowering. Her and Lloyd never took their eyes off each other, not trusting each other to not do anything. 

“Go,” Lloyd said. He didn’t allow his voice to shake. “Get out of here. Now.”

For a moment, nobody moved. Cole and Nya were crouched next to Jay, frozen. Zane, PIXAL, and Kai were stuck too, staring at Lloyd and Harumi. The Quiet One radiated more fury than Lloyd had ever seen. His fingers ached with how tightly he was gripping the dagger, but he didn’t dare loosen his grip. 

The silence smothered the building, the anticipation suffocating. They were all waiting for Harumi to let loose, to snap and order the guards to kill them all. 

 But she didn’t move. 

Harumi stood still, breathing deeply as her eyes fixed on Lloyd and his dagger. Nothing else really existed at all between them. Harumi wanted Lloyd alive. Lloyd wanted his friends to survive. Harumi wanted them dead and Lloyd would kill himself if she was the cause of their last breath being drawn. 

That left the two of them at a stalemate, at an equilibrium. A new battlefield stretched across the space between them. 

Finally, Lloyd heard the sounds of Nya and Cole hoisting Jay up and dragging him away. PIXAL went after them to scout and protect, but not before looking back with a regretful gaze. 

It hurt Lloyd more than he thought that he wasn’t able to get a final look at his family. This could be the last time ever he was going to see them, but Lloyd didn’t dare look away from Harumi, ready to slice his neck open if she so much as twitched. 

“Lloyd,” Kai sounded pained. Lloyd wanted to close his eyes. Of course, Kai wasn’t one to leave his family. He was willing to die for them. It was probably killing him that he would have to leave him. 

“It’s okay, Kai,” Lloyd said. “Go.” 

The lie burned his tongue and made his stomach roll. There was silence, then the shuffling of feet as Zane dragged Kai out the building to escape. 

Lloyd didn’t move the knife away from his neck. Harumi didn’t move any closer.  The two didn’t take their eyes off each other. 

Time dragged on, the minutes dripping by and the hours dangling between them.

Eventually, confirmation came that the Ninja had left the city limits. Proof came in the form of pictures.

Lloyd closed his eyes. 

Harumi was on him in an instant. Lloyd let her knock the blade aside, and felt the familiar indent of her fingers on his throat. She drove him back into the wall, eyes wild. 

Too many emotions were flickering by too fast: rage and fear and hate and something else. Something powerless. And it made Lloyd feel powerful. Smug, even, because never in his life had he seen Harumi lose so much control. Never seen her show so much as she wanted to show. 

And now Lloyd knew what his greatest weapon was: himself. 

“What are you going to do now?” Lloyd shoved her back, grinning a crazed thing. “Kill me?”

Harumi’s fists clenched, but she didn’t lunge at him again. She looked like she wanted to tear him limb from limb; she looked ready to shred the world and torch its ashes. Harumi lurked close — not as close as she usually was, but closer than an average person would. “Death is not nearly enough punishment for thinking you can walk away from me. You care for them? You’ll spend the rest of your life listening to them scream.”

“You know, it’s funny,” Lloyd began. “You always threaten everyone else. Never me. It’s almost like you don’t really want to hurt me.”

“You are absurd,” Harumi spat. “You really think I’d let you do away with yourself? That pleasure is reserved for me alone. I will kill you for what you’ve done today.”

“No you won’t,” he smiled. It was a cruel thing, but Lloyd didn’t care. After so long of feeling powerless, having power over someone like Harumi was addictive. “No you won’t. You know why?” 

Lloyd takes a step closer, and cups her face. Harumi’s eyes are blown wide as he gently tucks a lock of white hair behind her ear and leans down to whisper in it. 

“ Because you love me.” 

Harumi jerks, slamming her hands against his chest and reeling back. Too many emotions are flying across her face. Too many words were clogging her mouth, choking her. 

It suddenly occurred to Lloyd that their roles were switched; that Harumi was acting like Lloyd and Lloyd was acting like Harumi. Something in Lloyd twisted, but he didn’t care. 

Harumi was right when she called them kindred spirits. They were. And after so long, Lloyd wanted to make Harumi squirm, he wanted her to feel uncomfortable, exposed. Revealed. 

It was wrong, and sick, and some may even call it — him — evil, but Lloyd didn’t care. He was doing this for his family, his friends. Before he was too scared, but he wasn’t anymore. He was doing what Harumi had done to him — using the knifed tongue, and using it where it hurt. 

“It hurts, doesn’t it?” Lloyd said. His voice had changed, growing lower. He didn’t know if the tone was mocking or genuinely soft. “I’m not yours , Harumi. Pawn I may be to you, but I was always theirs . I was the Ninja's first.”

Harumi’s voice shook, but was no less deadly. “Just because I won’t kill you doesn’t mean I can’t hurt you. It doesn’t mean I can’t make you wish you were dead.”

Lloyd laughed. “You think I don’t wish that? I do, with every second I spend with you, my monster.”

Harumi stopped breathing. Words seemed to leave her in an instant. She stared up at him with wide eyes, a hand to her chest. 

She didn’t look hurt, exactly.

For a long minute, they just stared at each other.

“We really do deserve each other, don’t we?” Harumi finally whispered. Her voice was tentative. She looked — sounded — so young. For the first time, Lloyd realized that they must be the same age. 

“You have no idea how cruel you are when you want to be. One of these days we might just kill each other.”

Lloyd’s heart seemed to break. 

“You first, Harumi.”

She closed her eyes at that, and Lloyd felt himself sagging. 

What had the two of them become? 

Lloyd opened his eyes and saw Harumi take his hand, locking their fingers together. “Come on,” she said. “Let’s head back.” 

Lloyd let her walk him back, into the car, until they reached Harumi’s penthouse, his prison. 

Was he seriously going to just walk back in there?

Lloyd came to a stop outside, still linked to Harumi’s hand. He stared up at the tower, then looked down at the girl, who was watching him. 

Then he kissed her. 

It was a sweet kiss, one that mimicked a lover kissing their beloved, and Harumi’s breath seized. She put her arms around his neck, drawing him close as he put one arm around her waist, tangling another in her hair. 

Lloyd wonders when he got so cruel.

As he kissed Harumi, Lloyd knew three things: 

The Ninja had escaped. They were free to try again, and everyone would know they had successfully infiltrated Ninjago City and survived. The people of the city would doubt.

Harumi was in love with him. Or at the very least, she cared about him. What she felt for him was mad, obsessive, toxic, crazy … love. It was wrong, but so were they. Lloyd and Harumi were kindred spirits, two sides of the same coin. They deserved each other. Harumi was in love with Lloyd, and she wasn’t about to let him go. 

Lloyd had and was more than he ever could have imagined. 

Powerpuff Girls Drawings

All of these drawings were traced from images that i found, so the credit is not mine

What Went Wrong

Gwen and Duncan get together, and leave Courtney to deal with the aftermath. She wonders were it went wrong, what was wrong with her ex-friend and boyfriend.  … she wonders if she was in the wrong.

“No matter how much you love something, an inability to accept their differences and faults can lead to bitterness and cruelty, and prideful attempts to change them can lead to their own destruction.” 

It was easy to blame someone else for your own shortcomings. Your own refusal to grow past whatever was holding you back. Your loss.

□ ● □ ● □ ● □ ● □ ● □ ● □ ● □

Season 2

"Ew. Duncan, stop it."  

"Why so uptight, hot stuff? What happened to that crazy chick who helped me raid the camp kitchen?" 

"Ugh, I'm over this stupid show. I lost the competition, my pathetic lawyer lost my lawsuit, and now I just want to go home, study for my LSAT's, and work my class president campaign." 

"Wow, hello downer. Come on, relax, it's almost over. I thought you'd be happy " 

"I AM HAPPY!" 

*static*

"You know you mean the world to me, but I-I can't let you hold me back. Sorry!" 

"Wait! You're leaving me here?! But I-I just wrestled an alligator for us!" 

"I know! But opportunities like this don't just fall out of trees!" 

   *static*

"Courtney wrote me a thirty-two page letter outlining all my faults and how to correct them if we're ever going to have a serious relationship. All of which she expects me to memorize. I think I would have preferred a night of alien probing." 

   *static*

"Don't worry, I forgive you… just like I forgave the other three hundred and sixteen minor transgressions I outlined in my letter. But, I expect you to memorize that letter so it doesn't happen again." 

   *static*

"After all, what’s more important — winning some stupid challenge … or making me happy?" 

   *static*

"Hey, I like Courtney, I really do, but I also like a million big ones. Best case scenario, I win the money and the girl. But if it comes down to it, I need the money more than I need some high-matinence chick with a superiority complex. Ha!  

… don't tell her I said that, okay?" 

   *static*

"What?! Duncan voted for me?!" 

   *static*

"Court's popularity is in the toilet. I can't have her dragging me down. But the real reason… a thirty-two page letter?! And people call me psycho!" 

   *static*

Season 3

"Well, if you just listened to me — !"  

"Oh, I'll start listening the minute you say something worthwhile." 

"You're insane, you know that?" 

"And you … are a monster!" 

   *static*

"You know what? NO! No, no, no, no, no, no! Three hours of these two squawking on this stupid pyramid in this stupid heat — and you want me to sing?! FORGET IT!" 

"Dude, you have a contract —" 

"Eat it, McLean! If you need me, I'll be in the plane waiting for a ride home — cause I'm out! Done! I QUIT!"  

   *static*

" — And how could you think it was okay to just … leave like that! Because it was not! Ugh! Abandon me again, and it will not be pretty. Now, get over here you big lug! I'm not really mad, I just missed you."  

"Every time I ran from the cops, I thought of you." 

   *static*

"WHAT?! How could you?! I thought we were friend-ish!? I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU!!!” 

   *static*

"Well, at least I broke up with Duncan on my terms. It was totally empowering. At least I still have my … pride …"  

   *static*

"Okay, let's hear it." 

"Hear?" 

"Your apology." 

"For?" 

"For what?! For Gwen!" 

"For who?" 

"FOR! GWEN! 

Ugh!" 

   *static*

"I need immunity — especially around Alejandro — but sticking it to Courtney feels so right! And that can't be wrong."  

   *static*

"I declare my husband to be an insensitive jerk, who thinks his piercings make him cool when really, they divert attention away from his lack of personality."  

"And I declare wifey here to be a stuck-up windbag. I also declare, she could use some mouthwash!"  

   *static*

"I want a divorce!" 

"Oh really? Cause I want to stay married to your sunshine-y self forever!" 

   *static*

“Smiling? Whistling? This is the happiest I’ve ever seen you!” 

“What can I say? It’s like all of my problems were shoved out of a plane.” 

   *static*

I dug my nails into the palm of my hand as I thumbed through the channels of the TV. 

Every stupid news host was talking about Total Drama, commenting on the seasons, talking about the new ship: Gwuncan. 

As if they had nothing better to talk about but the utter disgrace of myself on international television.  

Every channel was about me, about Gwen, about Duncan . Every interaction, every confessional, aired and analyzed by fans and reporters to look back and wonder where it all started for the new couple. Where it had ended for the old couple.  

What had happened? What had happened?  

What made Duncan cheat on me? What was wrong with him to not see that I only wanted the best for him? 

Was it the list? 

I only made the list for Duncan for him to fix out his flaws! No person would ever hire a guy with a green mohawk for a respectable career. And with his callus and brutish attitude no one would ever want him. 

Couldn’t he see that I … 

What did Gwen have that I didn’t?

“Why don’t we just … let things happen. No pressure, no planning, no pookums. ’Kay?”  

“See? That there is why I like you.”  

I slapped myself, reeling back at the memories. Duncan never looked at me like that, even in our best moments. Gwen’s hands laid on his chest like I once did, telling him things that I would never do and he agreed — 

I slapped my other cheek harder, until it stung. I wouldn’t break down, I wouldn’t. Hate and anger was better than hurt and grief, and I had already shown enough of those things on Total Drama. 

I had to be perfect, I had to be better, I had to be the best , because if I couldn’t, what would I amount to?

Just a spoiled uptight princess whose boyfriend cheated on her? A washed-up reality tv star who didn’t even win any contest? 

I didn’t even win anything and yet I lost everything. The competition, the money, my pride, my dignity, my image, my friend, my boyfriend … 

I flipped the channel again, and the tv played Duncan and Gwen sharing a kiss after my ex had thrown a shoe at me. 

Gwen.  

How can Gwen sit there and kiss my boyfriend without ever feeling an ounce of guilt? Didn’t she have any shame? Any dignity? Any self-respect to see what she was doing was wrong? 

I thought she was my friend. I thought I was her friend, but at the most opportune moment she went behind my back and kissed him in the confessional. 

I thought … 

I thought I meant more to her than that. 

I thought I meant more to both of them than that, I thought darkly as I flipped another channel to see the forsaken kiss playing on the screen. I glowered at the tv as Duncan grabbed her burnt hand and pulled her into a kiss. 

Duncan was a bad boy and I was the good girl — the princess, as he was so fond of calling me. I knew it wouldn’t last, but in some small, illogical corner of my brain I thought it would. I thought our feelings for each other would be strong enough, I thought that I could make us last. 

“Love does funny things to us,” I sighed happily and walked away, oblivious to the turmoil Gwen was feeling.  

“Yeah … love is hysterical,” I heard her mutter before slapping herself.  

I loved him. I really did. Everything I did on Total Drama Action was for his best interest.  

I wrote that letter so that he could correct his flaws and become better, for me and himself. I wrote all those corrections to make him better. 

How could I not see that everything I did would lead up to this? 

Every glare, every argument, every dirty look, every confessional, led up to this. 

He wasn’t even sorry, in the end. 

I thought … 

Back then, when I demanded his apology through the freezing cold, I thought we could get over this. I thought through enough begging and apologies to take him back, Duncan and I could get over this. Brush it off like any other argument and get back to the way things were. 

But he didn’t even care. He didn’t even want me back. He was happy that I was tossed off the plane like a piece of garbage! 

I really thought he loved me back. 

I shook my head, rubbing my eyes from the bright screen and standing up. I walked to the bathroom and looked in the mirror, not even recognizing the young woman staring back. 

My hair was a mess, not perfectly combed like usual. I was in my pajamas, and my face was flushed and blotchy instead of smooth tan. The worst was my eyes, puffy and smeared with mascara and red with unshed tears. 

The young woman in the mirror looked like a messy collage of restrained hurt and anger and sadness. She didn’t look like Courtney, prim and perfect and driven to be nothing but the best. 

What had happened? Was the question I asked before. Looking straight into the mirror, Duncan and Gwen were the farthest from my mind as the answer stared right back. 

It was me.

I jerked back, and began slapping myself, again and again to rid myself of that twisted thought.  It was me.     Slap! It wasn’t me! How could it be me?! I was a C.I.T.! I did nothing wrong, nothing was wrong until Duncan cheated on me! Nothing was wrong until Gwen kissed my boyfriend!

      Nothing.

   Slap.

   Was.

   Slap.

   Wrong.  

   Slap.

I stopped, palms tingling and face hot as wet tears smeared across my stinging cheeks. My blood was boiling, burning, just as it had when Gwen stayed on the plane the night in Greece. 

Something twisted, dark and bitter and ugly, as I gripped the porcelain sink and stared at my reflection. Every fiber of my being trembled with the urge to ruin, and the seeds of sour hate had already grown and constricted around my heart the moment I found out Duncan and Gwen kissed.   

I would show them. I would redeem myself. I would be there to win, and nothing, no one would stop me. 

No feelings, no trust, no friendships. …

Courtney wonders where she went wrong. 

Probably when she signed her life over to that stupid show in the first place.