"Then Is Fine" (old Dialogue From Long Ago):

"Then is Fine" (old dialogue from long ago):

[On a summer night, two beings under the stars]

-Have you ever felt like the world is against you?

-I'm not sure what you exactly mean,

-But- [both at the same time]

-Hm..Hahaha! oh, please, continue!

-Oh, no, no I'm so sorry, i didn't mean to interrupt you!

Then both of them, with one hand covering their mouth, continued:

-Just let me hear what you were about to say, k?

That hidden smile was undeniable cute.

-Oh, alright, you win, but then you are in need to do the same.. what i wanted to say was that sometimes i DO feel the world is against myself, it happens every time things seem to be arranged to not allow me to see you, or hear you, or look at you, as if everything agreed to not allow me to get close.. Do you think it's weird?

-Weird? No at all. Actually, it's what i meant to say. That feeling of being completely lost without that one thing you seek for..

-...that one the world doesn't allow you to have.

This time, the sentence was completed with presumption.

Now, I am trying to understand why the world was against us.

Was it something wrong, even though you said it wasn't?

Was it a bad thing not to go with the flow for the first time?

Would it be bad to do it again?

Because I would die thousands of times just to hear you say it, once more to hear you saying:

-Yes, exactly, and i think it's right to fight for those things. Don't you think?

Della.

(Then that uncalled something was fine?)

Why does this just fit incredibly well with me?

Today I've been given two Joker card earrings.

The joker is an iconic card in card decks.

(Image of the Joker earrings)

𝘖𝘯𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘤 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘬 𝘰𝘧 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘴.

Originally he was called “The Best Bower” and later became known as “The Jolly Joker”. Already today, the famous Joker.

It is not normal to find them in games nor is there a strategy to use them correctly.

In many card games, the joker is used as a wild card, meaning it can take the value of any other card in the game. This flexibility and versatility makes the joker a very valuable card for players, giving them the opportunity to improve their hands and increase their chances of winning.

Its presence can have a great impact on the reading of any spread.

This wild card, is a card from the deck of cards that usually has a unique and striking design. It's often represented by a smiling jester or clown and is considered a special card within the game.

The use of the Joker varies depending on the type of game, in some games such as poker, the Joker is extremely positive for the play, while in others it is extremely negative, but it never plays an intermediate role, it always acquires extreme values.

𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘴.

• Two Jokers in each deck.

• One of them in color & the other in black and white.

• It's common for them to have a 5-point star inside a circle, one in red and the other in black as an index.

• The card is recognized by its color with the same tone as the suits of the deck, as well as diamonds and hearts on one side and spades and clubs on the other.

• It usually shows a character with an enigmatic smile.

𝘏𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘣𝘰𝘹 𝘰𝘧 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘴?

As a general rule, we will find two Jokers or wild cards in each deck, one of them in color and the other in black and white or discolored.

The greatest use that can be made of this is to use it as a replacement for a lost card. Even in some decks the two jokers come in one of each color: black or red. Precisely, this is done to use the one that corresponds to the suit of the lost card.

When we buy a new deck of cards, we find two joker cards, but there are exceptions where sometimes three come, since there may be an extra one, to use in case one is lost.

In the event that the jokers tie in play, the red or colored joker, or with a larger graphic, beats the black or uncolored joker or with a smaller graphic.

𝘙𝘦𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯.

The fool

The Joker has an apparently comical and quite theatrical figure, at the same time enigmatic. His mocking and sarcastic smile in many cases seems to make people distrustful.

Most of the time, jokers are represented as minstrels or jesters. Sometimes the joker is compared to The Fool, which is part of the major arcana in Tarot cards. He is commonly known as joker, harlequin, joker or trash. The fool is the one who is lost and aimless; It is a creature that seems not to live in reality; a creature whom no one takes seriously and who wanders from one place to another, apparently without knowing what he is looking for or where he wants to go. The Fool or The Jester is the symbol of the anarchy that reigns in the nanocosm.

It is logical to think that this new card does not have the serious and sober appearance of the original images that appear on the cards such as the king or queen. Being a card whose origin comes from an America convulsed by the industrial revolution, its image no longer has to have a direct link with the monarchy, but can be sustained by other values.

𝘚𝘺𝘮𝘣𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘮.

The joker is a very special and unique card. It represents very powerful energy and limitless freedom, and means that you are open to new possibilities. The wild card suggests that you, as a consultant, have to take the initiative to create your future.

Another important aspect of the Joker card is its ability to free us from self-imposed limitations and restrictive thought patterns. It invites us to explore new possibilities and open our minds to different perspectives. By freeing us from self-imposed limitations, the Joker allows us to explore new possibilities and discover new ways of seeing the world.

It's also associated with the concept of the unknown and the unpredictable. It represents the ability to surprise and confuse us on our journey through life. Many interpret the joker as a representation of human duality, contradiction and ambiguity. The joker character is often associated with madness and unpredictability, but can also have connotations of wit and cunning.

Joker encourages us to take advantage of all the opportunities that come our way.

Little by little he became associated with a rather mischievous character, not just comical like a jester or a clown. Some card designs bring a happy and festive image, but many times the image of the joker makes us think more about the mischief of deception that comes with the idea of being able to impersonate anyone, like a joker does.

In card games like poker, the joker is a wild card, meaning it can be used like any other card to complete a winning combination. In this sense, the joker represents the possibility of changing the rules of the game and surprising the other players.

In Tarot

In tarot, the joker is not usually part of the traditional deck, but some modern decks include a joker card with a special meaning. In this case, the joker can represent spontaneity, creativity, provocation and the ability to adapt to changing life situations. It can also represent the energy of chaos and the need to let go of self-imposed limitations to seek new perspectives and opportunities.

Its appearance in a tarot reading warns us about unexpected events and the need to be prepared to face any challenge that may arise, Its presence suggests the need to break with routine and explore new ways of being and doing things.

These days, The Joker is depicted as a scheming and chaotic villain, who challenges established norms and represents anarchy.

"Ranging from a joker in card games to a symbol of duality and adaptability in everyday life, the joker is the representation of the importance of flexibility and ingenuity in our approaches and attitudes. It teaches us to be flexible and open to change, reminding us that life does not always follow a linear path and that we must be willing to adapt to changing circumstances."

Yes. I've made a serious investigation about Joker cards since I've got my earrings. This is a normal day in my scheduled mind. (In case something is wrong, paranormal or poorly written: I did this with a terrible headache.)

I know I like to dance because it has never been so difficult for me. Being difficult makes me a good ballerina.

I was a good ballerina.

Yes, I was good at what I did, nothing more than it was never noticed because I had to be good at everything I did, so just that I enjoyed it was overshadowed by pure perfection, perfection that only stayed in my house and outside, outside into a hole, from inside to outside there was never anything more than smiles agreeing to everything, nothing was ever expected from me but promises of a future like the best, after me there was never anything better. Nothing better than her.

Nothing was ever good. It is impossible to maintain perfection.

She at least told me that. She liked things to be disastrous in perfect harmony. One that only I was able to see. And I knew that only I was capable of seeing it because I never felt forced to do so. It was just there. And his presence made me feel more and more alive. I rose up higher than a grand jeté, I rose into the air with thousands of twists and counter-turns that made me vomit pink, blue, yellow, green and red butterflies, I became dizzy in the most tender and innocent way I have ever set foot in this world. Nothing was ever the same in this hole universe. She held me in a way that even she wasn't aware of how much it hurt me every time she let me fall. Not even an injury hurt that much. But they always told me that if there is no blood, the pain is not important. Furthermore, I didn't feel any pain when I jumped again. Everything turns pink when I see you again. Everything turns into summer.

Then I remember why I don't like the summer heat. A strawberry popsicle lasts until the rays hit it and fracture is inevitable. The fall and the sticky drips of summer with the tears it brings become inevitable and present in all the body that still remains on this earth.

Because That's it. A dancer is firm and does not take her feet off the ground, not forever. Always with head held high. Always firm. Always alone about something. And me, I was a good ballerina.

Tomorrow is my birthday and I don't know why I feel like crying if you're not with me. My birthday was never important, that rules out the fact that I want a party, am I asking too much when I want a hug of yours?

This sounds so human that it makes my chest clench. This is what she would have wanted. For the first time I'm going to jump out alone and say that I prefer to say that; I was just a good dancer.

Della.

Hopefully tomorrow you will still be in my mind and forever and ever I will remember you. This ballet dancer will love you.

Recently, i have been remembering a conversation from a long time ago:

-I'm happy for you, you’re clearly learning how to respond to your anxiety in healthy and effective ways.

-Honestly, fifty fifty.

-Wdym?

-I mean, I have been handling them better, in a way that none of them had made me cry at least.

-so what’s holding you back from feeling like you’re completely on top of these situations?

-Ok, let's not talk about "completely", I'm still into this, ha,ha..it's just that, maybe, just as an assumption, this "panic" is finding new ways to express itself....

-..even as you're learning to manage it better, sounds like they may have evolved into a more subtle..?

-Yeah, exactly, that's what i meant to say.

-Then.. what "new ways to express" looks like for you?

-..i had been showing signs like vomit, sickness, weakness, and all of them are actually normal as you may know, and as you may know too: i have been working on each of them, but they.. seem to not leave. This.. "weakness" is hard to crack.. it's frustrating, y'know? I feel like nothing is actually working, it's been no progress. I don't like feeling useless, i want to, i need to be okay.

-You’re absolutely right, progress can be slow and nonlinear, but that doesn’t make it any less frustrating or painful, isn't it? But. Can i ask why haven't you talked to a doctor about your symptoms?

-Exactly, it is painful. But exactly because it takes time and it's nonlinear i have been waiting for some, i don't know, some progress? Something, just something that tells me, even if it's in code, that everything is going to be okay with the passage of time. Now it is just not passing, it hasn't stopped.. i feel bad because I haven't been able to manage and control this property. I don't like feeling useless...

And maybe this time hurts the most because it is happening again.

It's happening again and here's no you to tell me:

-Please, don’t blame yourself for not being able to control this. This doesn’t mean that you’re failing or that you’re not strong enough. It just means that the issue is complex and requires a different approach.

(It's interesting the way i didn't even notice i was blaming myself. But you did.) And it's interesting too the way you say your phrase:

-So let’s reframe this.

And i guess it is more intriguing the way i immediately said:

-Let's reframe this, please.

Even though nothing has been resolved anyways. Nothing leading up to your absence seems to have an end, no solution, no reframing on your part.

Della.

P.D.:🍃.

I guess I'll start to turn off the lights.

I've heard sometimes It's okay to turn off the light in summer.

The brightness of the sun warms and illuminates enough for now.

It's not enough for me. (Never will be.)

Was it ever even enough?

Was i ever even enough?

I hope the warmth of the sun burns shines enough for both of us.