So Today's Eps Happened.

So today's eps happened.

Welp. My thoughts are all over the place. Enjoy.

No bits. Not even a kiss. Fuck everything. Also I had to sit through not one but two Finn love confessions. I skipped all the previous ones so I can only imagine how tedious it is for those who have basically seen this same scene with him four times now. Also, I was nice to Gabi while she sat there and daydreamed about how things might play out with Suresh if I'm the one dumped. GABI IS A DICKHEAD.

AND WHY DIDN'T I GET ONE ON ONE TIME WITH MY BELOVED LULU? WHY DO YOU HATE US, FUSEBOX? AND NO SHOWER SEX? I WAS PROMISED SHOWER SEX.

Onto the positives (sort of). We got to tell off Meera, Nicolas, and Suresh. I told Suresh I'd never forgive him and want no connection with him ever and he said, "It doesn't get any clearer than that." Yep. And I only had to say it half a dozen times for it to become crystal.

Was Alfie cold for what he did to Meera? Yes. Was it hilarious? Also yes. I legit laughed out loud when he went, "Errrrr." GOLD.

I will say for me, this was one of the most fun eps of the season because Nicolas was hysterically funny to me. When he chastised Kat for believing the lies he spread I almost choked to death on my laugh snort. Though it was a little unsatisfying how happy he was to leave. He's all STICK WITH MY PLAN. Sir, your plan didn't work. You're leaving. You suck and you should feel bad about it.

Anyway, I liked it when Kat said this:

Because all I could hear in my head was this 😂😂😂

God I love that movie.

Ahem. Back to complaining. Could we not with Meera's prolonged goodbye scenes and even longer post dumping scenes where everyone kisses her ass for being so great? Soldiers going off to fight a winless war get less heartfelt, tearful farewells than this salty bitch. For as long as I had to sit through her bullshit (twice) I want the same length of time dedicated to everyone telling MC how wonderful she is and apologizing PROFUSELY, groveling really, for ever doubting her awesomeness. "Sorrrrrry," with abashed face ain't cutting it.

Oh also, when Meera found out she was leaving and Dana asked me what I thought, I chose to say that it changed nothing. Her being there or not didn't make any difference to me. And Dana had the nerve...

Yes. Yes I am. Meera has been nasty to me when I literally did nothing to deserve it. I was nice to her. I told Alfie to choose her. Alfie knows I'm not into him and I haven't spoken to him privately once since he came back with her. I've done everything to get out of their way and in return I was treated like trash by her and no one stood up for me. But now I'm supposed to pretend to be sad that Meera won't be around to insult me or call me a liar or a backstabber? Dana, you can fucking take a long walk off a short pier.

THE GALL. I told everyone that I forgive nothing. I don't forgive Meera. I don't forgive Suresh. I don't forgive Nicolas. I don't forgive any of you dicks. I AM PETTY AND ANGRY. I meant to do a self-righteous, above-it-all angel MC route, but I'm too mad 😂 I told off Meera more than once and it was delightful.

Overall, it was a little emotionally satisfying, but the fun stuff was overshadowed by yet another episode of everyone licking Meera's booty hole. Like when did she make this miracle transformation they're going on about? It seems more like she was always a bitch and she just didn't hide it on her return. We didn't get enough character development from anyone to see an actual transformation.

Oh well.

I will say, these eps inspired a fic idea. One that isn't about Suresh getting kicked in the balls, I mean. I have three of those going already. No, this is something else. I want to finish TSIME first, but I think I'm cooking up something special for S5. Mwhahahahahaaaaa.

I should probably put a read more break somewhere in this, because it's super long, but I'm cramping and don't know where to put it. Let's blame Meera.

IT'S AN S5 RANT KIND OF DAY I GUESS

I have not finished the episode but Suresh looked good in his pilot outfit. And I did something I have not done the entire season. I chose not to reject his dance. I have literally turned him down and yelled at him every single chance, but I was like, well I kind of hate everyone, let's see how it goes. And the dance was good. It was hot. AND THEN THIS MOTHERFUCKER DANCED ON GABI.

Dude, you literally jumped from me to her. Just like SMP. Just like our actual relationship. I cannot fathom the writing this season, I truly can't. Just on the basis of not wanting to hurt MC I cannot believe he would keep doing this with Gabi in front of her. DO NOT SAY HOW MUCH IT HURT TO LOSE ME AND THEN KISS THE GIRL YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH, IN FUCKING FRONT OF ME. DON'T SAY YOU STILL CARE AND THEN GRIND ON HER ON THE GROUND IN FRONT OF ME.

What the fuck is up with this season, ya'll? Why isn't there one decent guy? I don't really think it's gonna happen but I'm now leaning into the people who are convinced that Bobby is coming in as a contestant. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, LET BOBBY COME IN AS A CONTESTANT. MC DESERVES SOMEONE WHO IS ALL HEART EYES FOR HER AND HER ALONE. ALSO CUPCAKES. SHE DESERVES CUPCAKES.

the thing about carrying tension in your jaw is that once you've started it's really fucking hard to stop

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! Thank you @mrsbsmooth! She's so beautiful! Marisol hair FTW! But AJ's hair also looks amazing on her.

Lulu if she had decent hair and not-blonde eyebrows.

For @sparxaf

OC Introduction

Liliana Clarke-Reyes

“Boy, you’ve really got people fooled into thinking you’re the villa sweetheart," Priya said. Lili rolled her eyes. “I never claimed to be anything of the sort. I say fuck far too often to be anyone’s sweetheart.”

MC of The Sun in My Eyes. Call her Lili. Or Lil. Or even Liliana if you're nasty. Just don't call her perfect. She hates that shit.

24 | she/her | afro-latina | scouser | bilingual | belly dancer | foster care charity worker | 7 secret tattoos | optimist | loves spicy food | swiftie | perfectionist | sweet & snarky | great with kids | bad with animals | bubble baths are a religion |

lili's mood boards

Mood boards are how I build characters. It gives me a chance to play and discover their likes and dislikes. So I have tons of them for Lili. Please note that in the story and in my head, Lili is quite a bit darker than the faceclaim I used for her. I will post seperately about that, because it was a whole THING.

Board 1: Villa Lili

In my head this is how the show depicted Lili initially. Bubbly and bright. And all of this stuff IS her, but it's not all of her.

Board 2: Real Life Lili

This is Lili on the inside. Wistful, organized, emosh, and obsessed with shoes.

Board 3: Lili's Home Aesthetic

I just love interior design and had fun building Lili's home aesthetic.

Board 4: Lili's Fashion Sense

I always pictured her wearing mostly blacks, whites, and neutrals. With some random pops of gold/yellow and red thrown in. She loves her a one sleeve top and ripped jeans. Overall she has edgy autumn vibes. Lots of sweaters hanging off the shoulder and ankle boots clacking on the pavements. Super dark lipstick and black fingernails, always. A little tribute to her inner emo-kid.

Board 5: Lili's Life in Liverpool

This might be my favorite of her boards. This is a little taste of Lili's life outside the villa. Her exes, her bestie, her siblings. And all of her tattoos. I cannot tell you what a hardship it was to spend hours looking at pictures of Harry Styles in order to find one for that album.

So yeah. That's Lil.

The happiest of belated birthdays to @mrsbsmooth! You are sweet, tough, smart, talented, kind, supportive, hilarious, and a true joy to know. You deserve a fantastic fucking day. May the marmite flow like rivers and the Ciaran smut give you endless tingles. And speaking of, please enjoy: A VERY NICE BOY: a smutty, fluffy, romantic Ciaran fic.

A03

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