My Next Chapter Of The Sun In My Eyes Is Super Important. It's A Big Turning Point. And It REFUSES TO

My next chapter of The Sun in My Eyes is super important. It's a big turning point. And it REFUSES TO BE WRITTEN. I have been staring at it for days. Writing scenes and discarding them. Rewriting scenes and then going back to the discarded ones.

On top of it, I'm in the middle of moving and it's incredibly stressful and I'm sick. So in order to give my brain a break from all the havoc, I decided to create a masterlist for my fanfiction. And in typical Christy fashion, I'm laboring over it. Wanting it to be perfect. I have a forever long post about Lili I've never put out there and I want to add it to the TSIME stuff but I can't seem to ever finish the post. I think it's too long. I literally have six moodboards for Lili. So maybe I should break it up into multiple posts. Or not. I don't know.

Also I've got this half written Christmas fic that I've been sitting on for a year that I'd love to post in time for the holidays.

If you're wondering why it's been three years and TSIME still isn't done, this is why. **

**Well also, I'm a sadist and your tears bring me joy. But it's mostly the indecisive thing.

Holy fuck, I chose Lulu and then dug out Suresh like three or four times as he was booted from the show. It was so fucking satisfying, I don't even care to finish the season. If I can't have actual romance, I'll take spite, thanks.

IT'S HAPPENING!!!!!!!

doggy fashion - henrik/arjun

Summary:

After a rough breakup, Arjun is ready to date again, and he’s got his eyes fixed on the handsome blonde he often sees running with his dog in the park. He just needs to work up the courage to talk to him.

Rating: Explicit

Wordcount: 8,020

Read on AO3

Tag list: @eskiix, @thoracic-orchid, @mrsbsmooth (let me know if you'd like to be tagged for future updates!)

I have a take on this. But first it needs context.

I knew a girl named Beth, who was not a vulnerable person. Far from it. She prided herself as being a tough, take-no-shit bitch (🎶 I'm the baaaaaad guy... duh 🎶). Anyway, Beth dated someone that she kind of controlled emotionally. Ron. Quiet guy. Passive. She bossed him around, browbeat him and then dumped him all the time. But then would always take him back. Eventually he got tired of it. Beth dumped him one time too many and instead of begging for her back, he said, alright, and moved out. After a month or two, he started pursuing this other girl, Josie.

Miss Independent Beth was furious and had nothing to be mad about. He didn't cheat. She dumped him. But some people rallied around her, all supportive, and she realized that she could WEAPONIZE VULNERABILITY. I watched it happen. Like a car crash.

Beth told me flat out that she started calling Josie and spilling all this pain and heartache at her, all in order to get her on Beth's side. She leaned on Josie for emotional support, in the hopes that she'd twist her up emotionally until she felt too guilty to ever give Ron a chance.

It worked. And once Beth had Josie staying far from her man, she suddenly dropped her as a friend and began crying and carrying on to our mutual friends about what a bad person Josie was. Beth systematically turned everyone against her. Josie was so confused. This girl had been weeping on her shoulder two days earlier, calling her her closest friend, and now she was telling everyone that Josie seduced Ron and was a slut who only wanted to hurt Beth. She even convinced Ron that Josie had been manipulating HIM.

Beth's sobbing, fake emotional breakdowns literally convinced Josie's closest friend to turn her back on her. And eventually, once Beth had used everyone else to emotionally beat Ron into taking her back, they got married. Big church affair. Very fancy. Spared no expense. I was in awe of the beautiful blonde bride in her fancy Carolina Herrera gown, standing smugly at the alter with Josie's now ex-bestie as HER MAID OF HONOR. A girl she def didn't even like (and who she dumped as a "friend" immediately after the wedding, because her point had been made). She'd used vulnerability to manipulate everyone so effectively, that no one but me thought any of it was shady or wrong until years later.

So with that experience living rent free in my cranium, Kat's vulnerability doesn't feel authentic to me. Not fully. It feels calculated. I think she's immature and impulsive but she also knows that MC is her biggest competition and getting her on her side by systematically letting her in on her feelings is a way to keep MC away from Finn. Why else would this tough, take-no-shit bitch open up when she is not even MC's bestie. She's not even a casual friend. She's not really supportive of MC unless it benefits herself, though she's super supportive of the girls who are mean to MC. Though she will turn on MC fast as lightning, gleefully slagging her off to everyone and then faking her half-assed apologies that are really about continuing to keep MC feeling guilty while doing damage control on her own impulsive behaviors. She's like a little kid who sobs because they got caught with their hand in the cookie jar, not because they're sad, but because they know mommy will stop being mad if they shed enough tears.

So I don't trust these flashes of vulnerability that seem to coincide with Finn flirting with/showing interest in MC or generally showing less interest in Kat. Her feelings might be sincere but she's not opening up for any reason except to guilt MC into staying away from her man.

Suresh's apologies have felt just as insincere this entire season. A real, selfless apology doesn't come with a weepy request for forgiveness or another chance. Because that makes the apology about the apologizer and their needs, and not about the person they wronged. Just sayin'.

Can I say that I find it interesting that MC has the opportunity to be involved in cheating twice this season? Or in what would count as cheating in the Villa?

Once with Suresh while still coupled up with Alfie/Dana and now apparently with Finn.

Because both times there was no clear communication in the couples. (Counting the Suresh thing here too because Alfie/Dana is clearly coded as thinking things are great between them and MC no matter what MC says.)

And considering MC's dating history, that's just... an interesting choice from the writing team/the management.

(Obviously nothing against people taking these options. We have been deprived of love etc. for so long in this game that we are now starved. I just find it weird that MC gets put into these messy situations here - though it's absolutely fitting for this season.)

👀👀 BESTIE!! this is soooo true and even if you don't indulge in the cheating the fact that they push it on you a few times is interesting. like why would MC engage in that behavior! I mean I did with Suresh...but I also look at it as she's obviously harboring deep feelings for him and same with him for her, and technically I wasnt like ALL about Alfie. I told him I wasnt sure about choosing him for the end of the summer before I kissed Suresh...so thats not "cheating cheating" 😬 right? LOL

but the Finn one this/next week is actually kind of messed up (if you're not on the Finn route) not only did Kat just pour her heart out to you and tell you how she feels about Finn, but Suresh has literally never been more genuinely apologetic or vulnerable. So you're just meant to go to pound town in the dead of night while Kat sleeps peacefully downstairs?? NAUR...that aint on. And I get that Kat hasn't been MCs ride or die this season but if there's one thing she has done all season long is be extremely vulnerable with MC about her feelings for Finn. idk besties...shops closed for Finny boy next week. Sorry

This is one of my alltime favorite pieces of fan art for the game. Bobby's glee, Carl's pain, Lucas's joyful avarice and Henrik just gleefully tossing money on Lucas... it's perfect. Also I really enjoy Noah being incarcerated 🤣🤣🤣

Also not for nothing, but Gary looks high AF to me, and I'd buy that as canon.

"Gentlemen, our resident geek falls as the rich keep getting richer!"

"That's right Bobs, and it seems Noah's getting used to the box of shame"

"You said you were good at this Carl! You swore on the valor of Violet Man!"

I keep wishing we could have seen more interactions between the lads so I made this self-indulgent piece. Just imagine all the smack talk going about 🤣

IT'S AN S5 RANT KIND OF DAY I GUESS

I have not finished the episode but Suresh looked good in his pilot outfit. And I did something I have not done the entire season. I chose not to reject his dance. I have literally turned him down and yelled at him every single chance, but I was like, well I kind of hate everyone, let's see how it goes. And the dance was good. It was hot. AND THEN THIS MOTHERFUCKER DANCED ON GABI.

Dude, you literally jumped from me to her. Just like SMP. Just like our actual relationship. I cannot fathom the writing this season, I truly can't. Just on the basis of not wanting to hurt MC I cannot believe he would keep doing this with Gabi in front of her. DO NOT SAY HOW MUCH IT HURT TO LOSE ME AND THEN KISS THE GIRL YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH, IN FUCKING FRONT OF ME. DON'T SAY YOU STILL CARE AND THEN GRIND ON HER ON THE GROUND IN FRONT OF ME.

What the fuck is up with this season, ya'll? Why isn't there one decent guy? I don't really think it's gonna happen but I'm now leaning into the people who are convinced that Bobby is coming in as a contestant. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, LET BOBBY COME IN AS A CONTESTANT. MC DESERVES SOMEONE WHO IS ALL HEART EYES FOR HER AND HER ALONE. ALSO CUPCAKES. SHE DESERVES CUPCAKES.