Neurotic - Tumblr Posts

My next chapter of The Sun in My Eyes is super important. It's a big turning point. And it REFUSES TO BE WRITTEN. I have been staring at it for days. Writing scenes and discarding them. Rewriting scenes and then going back to the discarded ones.

On top of it, I'm in the middle of moving and it's incredibly stressful and I'm sick. So in order to give my brain a break from all the havoc, I decided to create a masterlist for my fanfiction. And in typical Christy fashion, I'm laboring over it. Wanting it to be perfect. I have a forever long post about Lili I've never put out there and I want to add it to the TSIME stuff but I can't seem to ever finish the post. I think it's too long. I literally have six moodboards for Lili. So maybe I should break it up into multiple posts. Or not. I don't know.

Also I've got this half written Christmas fic that I've been sitting on for a year that I'd love to post in time for the holidays.

If you're wondering why it's been three years and TSIME still isn't done, this is why. **

**Well also, I'm a sadist and your tears bring me joy. But it's mostly the indecisive thing.

“It upsets you How I only open up By speaking in riddles. After 25 years Of bottling it all up I’m not sure I know how.

I started writing poetry As a form of therapy. An outlet for all the things I wanted to tell someone. But no one ever came And so I kept writing. Book after book I poured my soul onto paper. Spilling my ink filled veins I became my only confidant. Because of my severe isolation I failed to learn How to open up.

You want me to talk, But I don’t know how. I want you to ask questions But you don’t know how. Perhaps we are both just too broken To be this close. Too many neurocies driving us apart.”

- Andrew

Neuroticism-Oil Pastel on Paper