S6: A Rant

S6: A Rant

Man, this season started off so promising. I was actually excited for episodes again. Now I'm just back to being exhausted with it. The branching is not well executed at all. The Grace situation is BAFFLING and there's no option to be a decent person and at least flat out tell her you want to pursue Ozzy.

And now, for something completely expected! Enjoy an impassioned, profanity-laced rant about Amelia!

Thar be spoilers ahead.

Fuuuuuuuck this ho sideways with no lube. All her sister talk is bullshit. I really don't care if she and Ryan cracked on, because fine. But the way she went about it, the way she neglected to tell me, and then blew off my feelings about it? Oh no. Bitch, you know better. We're Scorpio risings. Which means we never forgive and we never forget.

It's especially weird considering how vehement she was about not liking Jamal because he said he had feelings for Ivy and then got over her immediately... um. What does she think just happened with Ryan?

She had the audacity to act like it hardly mattered, since I didn't pick him anyway. Yeah, I didn't. But here's the thing. I could have. He was still pursuing me. It's weird and gross that this guy was actively trying to get with me and he's telling me he has all these super deep feelings, but he's been cracking on with my sister secretly? What's that about? Like they could have told me and that would have made my decision for me and they could have just been getting to know each other without being snakey. If she "knew" I wasn't going to choose him, what possible reason could she have to keep it from me?

Perhaps she simply has a ravenous appetite for my scraps.

This is the second time she's kept something from me when it comes to guys (that I know of). And acted like she did it for my benefit and like it didn't matter at all. My only angry option here was, "I'm annoyed with you." And her response was to act all giddy for me and my new partner as though it's all forgiven. She's so dismissive that they wrote actual dialogue for MC to say, "I said I'm still annoyed," and Amelia was like, "Oh well. Doesn't mean anything. Still sisters! Byyyyye!"

I have played nice with her so far. No more nice. I don't give a shit about Ryan. Other than feeling even more ick than I already did, nothing's changed there. But she seems to have a chronic issue with honesty and a lack of consideration for my feelings, and I have a big problem with that.

Honestly, there's a part of me that wants to pursue Ryan just out of spite. Then I throw up in my mouth a little, and I change my mind. Neither of them are worth that.

A Victorian Quilt and the Power of Words

TW: Very brief mentions of SA and attempted un-aliving

This is kind of random, but it's 2am and I have no one to talk to about it, so here we are 😆 I really enjoy watching J. Draper's YouTube videos. She presents all these fascinating little historical tidbits about London and while I'm not traveled nor from the UK, I like interesting tidbits.

Tonight, I stumbled on one of her longer videos. I'm only halfway through it, but it's a deep dive into what it was like to be a Victorian in-home servant. They worked 6am to 10pm every day and had no days off and very little time for themselves. On their days off they had to be quiet so as to not disturb the family. And they were highly discouraged from reading anything but the Bible, because a maid who wanted to better herself or rise above her station was not considered desirable. So for many, all their downtime was spent sewing. Quilts and samplers. And in the Victoria & Albert Museum in Kensington, there's an interesting little bit of history. A sampler, 30x34 inches (84x74 cm). The height of two bowling pins, or six cans of Coke-a-Cola. And it's a bit plain as there is nothing on it but words. At first, I thought it was full of Bible verses. It's not.

It was a diary or autobiography if you wish to call it that, written by a house maid named Elizabeth Parker in 1830. Believing herself to be illiterate simply because she didn't know how to write with a pen, she told the story of her life, not in ink, but in tiny, precise red stitches. It tells of her family, her jobs, and her pain. Of how she was SA-ed by an employer and then thrown down the stairs for objecting to it. Of how she was so ashamed what happened that she never told anyone, not even her closest friends. That she attempted to end her life, because she didn't know how to cope with it. And her worries about the fate of her soul.

The sampler ends mid-sentence, though her life went on for many years, as a historian has since discovered. Elizabeth eventually became a school teacher and raised her sister's daughter after she died.

The story really threw me. I had to sit with it for a few minutes. We take so much for granted now. Not just things like laundry detergent and spreadable butter, which do make our lives much, much easier. But we really take for granted the way we can so easily communicate and experience communication. It gave me a chill, a shiver of appreciation for all that we have. Not just quick laundry and butter that easily glides over toast. But the way in which we can express ourselves, explore who we and others are. Talk to friends night and day. We can read books, and scribble quick notes on paper or phones, and tell stories to each other. Real ones. Fictional ones. Pixel ones.

Words have power. Our stories have power. The ability to share experiences and lessen the burden of pain with others, has an immense power. And it wasn't always something we had. It's something many people still don't have.

Whenever I complain about how hard it is to write, I am going to try to remember Elizabeth Parker. A woman who was so driven to tell her story, to leave a mark of her existence, that she spent the precious few available hours of her day pricking her fingers and sewing the details of her life into cloth, because it was her only means of satisfying the very human and real need to be seen and heard. And our ability to so easily do that now, isn't something I want to take for granted.

Seeing Double (trouble)

Don't worry Roberto, I can see how difficult it would be to tell us apart 🤣

#elbows? Might be greedy, but I'd love some elbow joints without pain. Mine hurt 24/7.

they should invent a spine without pain

Nine People You Want to Get to Know Better

💖 Thank you @chroniccomicobsession, @eskiix, @0shewrites0, @operationnope, @willkimurashat, @noahsthottie for tagging me in this! I dragged my feet on it because I'm embarrassed to admit how little I'm reading right now. Also, cuz I can't shut up and I always write too-long posts 😆

Last Song: Reaching by Jason Reeves. I've been editing my chapter for what feels like years and last night I needed to break up the many repeats of Taylor Swifts This Love (TV), so I played Reaching a lot, too.

Girl, you are the morning sky Glowing calm with burning light And as I am waking up You paint your reflection in my eye Wonder if you've noticed I can't look away

You're inches from my fingertips I've come as close as I can get I'm reaching but the rest is up to you

Currently Reading: I'm not currently reading anything really. I should be. I have a lot of stuff I'd love to read, but my attention span is garbage. Gnats have a better chance of finishing a book than I do.

Currently Watching: Scaredy Cats on Youtube. It's horror movie reviews basically. I'm too squeamish to fully watch horror movies, but I like them. So I usually watch the beginning, then read the plot of the rest on Wikipedia (I call it Wiki-Watching). If it interests me, I watch bunches of reviews for it too. I love film dissection.

In case it's not obvious, I'm a huge nerd.

Current Obsession: LITG S6, specifically the future potential of an Ozzy/Marhsall/MC love triangle. Or something else... But also, monster movies! I've always loved them, but I'm on a bit of a kick right now. The other night I watched three back to back with decreasing levels of enjoyment and competence. As I said above, I love film dissection, so if you wanna read me giving my mini-reviews for each of the three movies, I think I'll post that separately. This is long enough.

Tagging: @queen-of-boops, @thatwheelchairchick, @kikithegr8, @litg1carlstancentral, @crimswnred, @codename-mango @mercedesdecorazon @wildberryjams @litg-burnbook (I tried to make sure everyone hadn't posted one of these yet, but sorry if you've already been spammed with tags for this 😆)

Okay FuseBox writers, I see what you did there...

🥺💖