I Had My First Proper Bedtime Leak In Ages Last Night. I Think It Was Mix Of Me Already Being Kinda Wet

I had my first proper bedtime leak in ages last night. I think it was mix of me already being kinda wet and sleeping on my stomach. Normally, my padding is fresh and can handle it or I roll over before I wet, but i guess imma need to be more strict with my rules cuz I didn't end up waking up until the very end of my accident when I had already leaked. I guess that means no more naps in pullies, and shatters any rouge ideas about trying to be a big girl at the Halloween party

I love when my brain wants to share an experience but forgets it's an experience litterally everyone has so I type out an entire explanation of, and I'm not kidding, why I find my type of humor funny, before realizing I'm litterally just typing out my internal monologue bc I'm bored.

stop, drop and potty.

I would but I don't need ta go, I've been pretty good about not paying attention to when I wet now that I don't gotta go out in public as often and am wearing megas more and more. I even started basically fully relying on timers to remind me to check myself every few hours rather than trying to remember or guess anymore, I figured that's a good idea if my goal is to eventually not worry about it whatsoever.

Speaking of checks, I'm definitely not dry, but I'm still pretty dry, probably cuz I've only had this mega on for 3 hours so far.

I feel like a rat locked in a cage without any enrichment. I'm so bored but have such little energy or time to do anything but work.

I keep thinking about how my babies are gonna age and how it's gonna be different than the other people in my life. For example, the other people I care about, I sometimes grieve their deaths before they happen, but I know I can't change them and once it happens they are gone. But my babies, as much as I want them to be, aren't alive. I keep wondering what that means for them if they are around after I'm gone, at what point exactly are they gone? I don't wish for a violent end for any of my babies, but I can't get the idea that a violent end might be a better one than being shoved back into a box for another 16 years just to be forgotten and slowly waste away alone.

To lighten the mood a little, did you know the first time I said I'd rather burn in hell than live with an unjust god was actually instantly after my grandma and aunt said that since my stuffies and pets didn't have souls to save they would go to hell or at the very least not exist in heaven.

Gotta say, megas, plus boosters, insane combo. Also gotta say, northshore keeps sending me stickers and stuff whenever I buy things, and my bedside wall is slowly filling up with rainbows hearts and encouraging phrases lol, imma get addicted to stickers again if I'm not careful lol.