Raven Ruminates - Tumblr Posts
Im really debating deleting some of my old posts from before the 15th, they seem so random and horribly worded now compared to now when I actually have a solid idea of what I eventually want this place to turn into. However it seems like some of you enjoyed this perspective into my previous attempt and ramblings.
Since I can't come up with any more continuous games for interact-a-baby that I am comfortable doing yet, imma just force you guys to decide stuffs like this for me. Thank you for your mental labor.
Yaaaay, I got off work for my birthday 🥳 19 sounds way too old, but I'm gonna say that every year until I'm dead so I'll get used to it lol. this summer really flew by much more quickly than previous ones, I guess I'm finally having fun.
The 17th of August is my birthday btw, such a random and boring day, but there's always been beauty in simple casual days.
To all the other pre transition trans peeps out there, do you guys ever get the feeling that you are "running out of time" to transition?
I've been getting increasingly upset at the idea I might not ever see the young version of the me that I want to be. Do any of you have any tips as to how deal with feelings like that? I've improved so many things in my life lately, and I'm much happier, but I just cant shake the thought that for some reason time is running out, even though I have basically no reason to feel like that
I keep thinking about how my babies are gonna age and how it's gonna be different than the other people in my life. For example, the other people I care about, I sometimes grieve their deaths before they happen, but I know I can't change them and once it happens they are gone. But my babies, as much as I want them to be, aren't alive. I keep wondering what that means for them if they are around after I'm gone, at what point exactly are they gone? I don't wish for a violent end for any of my babies, but I can't get the idea that a violent end might be a better one than being shoved back into a box for another 16 years just to be forgotten and slowly waste away alone.
To lighten the mood a little, did you know the first time I said I'd rather burn in hell than live with an unjust god was actually instantly after my grandma and aunt said that since my stuffies and pets didn't have souls to save they would go to hell or at the very least not exist in heaven.