Hello Gays Is This Anything ?

Hello gays is this anything ?

By far one of my better book spends

Katsuki Bakugou x Reader "Let me, you idiot"

Time: 11:22pm and I have a fever of 100.4 so I'm writing. If you are sick, rest, eat light, drink water, teme meds if you can! Always prioritize your health!! Requests are open

Slight trigger warning for: passing out

You woke up feeling like you had been hit by a bus and your phone buzzing on the pillow next to you. 2 miss calls and 4 text. From katsuki and 5 from your mom.

You called back your mom first only to be greeted by screaming asking why you weren't checked into school yet. Before you even thought of anything to say to here you felt a wave come over you lean down throwing up in the trash can next to your bed. you lean back over hanging up without saying a word to your mom. And text Katsuki you'd be late and you just overslept.

It was probably just you overusing your quirk again right? It had to be.

After a few painful minutes of getting ready, you walk into class not even bothering to apologize just slumming down into your slumming desk and placing your head down. Luckily for you your teacher was also late per usual. You hear Iida attempting to lecture you but before you could process anything your mind went blank as you put your head down on the desk.

You wake up to a hand lightly shaking you. Picking your head up, rubbing your eyes you see Katsuki "Damn you look like shit. Are you sure you should be here? " You roll your eyes standing up, feeling a wave of dizziness you grab the table for balance, holding yourself upright until it leaves. "Woah the hell happened" you look over at him saying nothing grabbing his hand and walk to you next class.

Training came around and the soup you had for lunch seemed to help a bit but you still felt shitty and like it was only getting worse. Pushing through you walked up to Katsuki pulling on his shirt feeling your body become unsteady.

He turns around seeing your unsteady form and grabs your shoulders. You feel your eyes get heavy and faintly hear the sound of Katsuki urging you to keep your eyes open.

When you wake up you are in Recovery Girls office with a towel over your forehead and your boyfriend on his phone next to you. "Katsu?" You mumble attempting to get up but ultimately laying back down because of the headache. "Dummy, you shouldn't have come if you felt this bad" you look up at him seeing the worry plastered around his face. "I thought it was gonna go away" you say shifting towards him. "Well it didn't and it got worse. You're going back to the dorms to rest idiot." Before you can protest he's picking you up and carrying you out of the room "katsu- put me down!" You say squirming around "absolutely not you'll fall over because of how weak your body is"

When you get back to the dorms and into your room Katsuki places you down on the bed leaving the room for a few minutes. When he returns he has a tray with a cup of medicine bowl and vitamin water. "Eat as much as you can but take all the medicine brat. " He says folding his arms looking away. You can still see a bit of worry on his face.

"Sorry if I.. Scared you. Kat"

"it's whatever just take care of yourself idiot.

This was shorter than I wanted but I had an idea and decided to finish this before starting another one!

My dress ate, my solo was fire

Trust

EX-FUCKING-CUSE ME?!?!?

The painting broo...the painting..guys

How to exist as me

How do I exist as an autistic person without feeling guilty,

I know that unlike a lot of people i got the privilege of being diagnosed before becoming an adult but it was really late nonetheless. Even so,

I've not been treated the way any other person would be with autism, having to follow a script penned by neurotypicals all the time is hard and draining I constantly feel like i have no energy to do anything at all after as much as an hour at the store.

I've been told more times that I can count " It's not your fault you have a hart time unmasking "

but I feel as if cant be accepted by my community if i cant unmask,

I know in some part of me that I'm allowed to feel venerable and that I deserve to have people around me that can both see and acknowledge my struggles as a disabled person,

but to be told "your not autistic" because I don't act the way a 10 year old autistic boy does feels so unfair.

I grew up always changing the way acted to be seen and treated as human, so its hard trying to undo all of that.

"learning how to be 'unapologetically' you" Seems imposable, learning how to be my own person, rather than conforming to the behaviors and standards set by people who are simply not like me and don't understand why its so hard.

Growing up with an unaccommodated disability has left a scar in so many ways, and trying to heal isn't easy. I've grown up trying to protect myself from the inherent discrimination shown to me.

I do not "have autism" I don't "suffer from autism"

I'm autistic

Maybe its silly but its this type of treatment is what has sent me into relapses living in a world where nothing is made for you be it my epilepsy, being diabetic but especially being autistic. It feels like nothing is in my control, be it: the way public education is or how inaccessible the 'real world' is.

Not being in control of you body is scary and stressful weather it be because of a seizure, being overstimulated, or feeling like my body is about to shut down because my sugars are low its scary.

Feeling my body shake and not knowing if its because its too hot or if its my blood sugar, its caused me so much mental pain and put me in many depressive episodes of which I blatantly refused to take care of myself as a means of self destruction.

Being able to control something feels helpful, even if that one thing you can control is burring your skin off. Its a form of pain I feel an unhealthy amount of comfort in. Even so getting high until I cant remember where I am is better than being hyper aware of everything around me. The unbelievable amount of trauma I've endured is only adding to the fact.

When the help you need is so inaccessible what am I meant to do, when a system that is meant to help you is built to help you seems to work against you, or has failed you so many time what is it I'm meant to do?

what is there left for me to do?