Hello!! Can I Be Added To Your Taglist For Rent Is Due Please? Thank You !! - @minkyuncutie

hello!! can I be added to your taglist for rent is due please? thank you !! - @minkyuncutie

yeah sure sure! 😀

Currently working on some requests and will update all the series soon…I was on a vacation and that’s why I couldn’t get time to do anything and also my exams are running towards me so I am barely getting time to write so be patient and wait for the updates…

Also, I hope everyone is fine here and if you want to engage with me or ask random things or discuss some nonsense, my ask box is always welcoming you all😃

I’m too much emotional…please I need some assurance that NCT won’t disappear ever…They will always be my safe zone…my illichil my 127 …I will always be the part of Pearl Neo Champagne 💚🌱

I will be the little green grass to them forever🫶😭

I love Is This The End so much! Please tell me that you plan on making it a series?

Thanks for showing it love. I found some typos here n there so I have changed it, also somehow some parts were missing so editing has been done.😃

Also, making it a series, I have the whole plot in mind but let me finish their ongoing series first and then later maybe.😉

Hi congrats on 500 i would like to request for ateez ot8xfreader

IS THIS THE END?

Pairing: Ateez! ot8 x fem! reader

Genre: Lore Au, Angst, Mystery

Warnings: crying, mention of death, fever dream, many flashbacks, loneliness (major warning is this is mixture of sad and happy fic, idk why am feeling so down in this spooky season.)

W.C: 5.3k

Note: please I want to thanks to people for reading and reblogging. Reviews are always appreciated 😭. Applause to the ones who come up to me to interact and they know how friendly I am. Okay enough!

Network: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity

dear Anon! ( I'm sorry if you wanted something spicy or fluff but i instead of these two, wrote something very different. i hope you may like it. Please let me know.)

Standing in front of this place seems different now, no more those chaos, those laughs echoing through the huge space, those smiley faces running around the street and getting shelter inside the huge place. Street is just now a silent and abandoned place without those lively beings occupying the area. Your fingers touch the cheeks to feel the wet sensation only to realize that you are crying, Crying for what? You don’t have hope for anything to return to its origin, right? Nothing can turn back. You are lost, they are lost and everything is lost. This place is lost without you all. Are you still going to keep a hope within yourself for, for them. Why? Everything is clear to you. You have seen those faces, those words, that scene still haunting you every day, every second and every moment and even now. Your heart aches on those thoughts but never you are caring to soothe it. It’s only because you don’t know how. How can you say to yourself that everything is alright when nothing is in its place, not even your mind and your heart.

Please.

Please what? Is there someone to listen to your pleadings, to listen to your heartbreaking cries every night and to see your helpless state? No. No one is going to pull you into their arms and rub your back with whispers, ‘Shush….its okay…I’m here. Nothing can hurt you. I’m here.’

I am here. Nothing can hurt you.

You are still here but everything is hurting as you are here alone. You are not with them. Them? Is it just them? Are you really going to refer them like this? They are your ‘home’. A safe place. The warehouse in front of your eyes is the only home to you and to them.

Taking few steps closer to the big metal door, binding with chains and locks, your hands fish inside the pocket for the keys. Hastily, you unlock the different locks and pull the chains and throw them to the side, not caring if they are okay to use afterwards. Your mind is just focused on one thing and that is to enter the place. Gripping the big handles in your hold, tears flowing continuously and so you close your eyes. You are ready to push the door but a memory flash across your mind.

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“Welcome to the Wanteez.”

Chuckling, you asked the person, “Wanteez? Why such a name? like, are you wanted?”

Standing in front of an old abandoned building with rusted gate, with some graffiti sprayed across the door and the walls all around, one name is quite repeated ‘WANTEEZ’ and also there are some other things repeated like their names and ‘Heart Awakened Live Alive’ and ‘Hala-zia’. Them and their names, both are weird.

“Yeah something like that. You know why as hear clearly, the loud beats of the music is coming from inside and guess you know, people don’t like citizens like us causing disturbance in the society.”

“So? You guys are enjoying yourselves and why does it matter to those others, they can simply ignore it. It’s not like anyone lives around this place. The nearest house is much far away from here to reach this sound. Unless, you are playing the speakers in front of their house. I would do this if anybody had complained anything about me.”

He laughs loudly along with you on your comment, “There’s more to this, you know. People assume us that we are some sort of gangsters and we are doing illegal stuffs behind everyone’s back. The government and police are always attentive to this surrounding to find any little proof against us to claim us as the criminals.”

“Are you?”

“Huh?” His face turns into a frown and his confused eyes staring back at you.

“The way this place looks like, I must believe you guys have some illegal shits up your sleeves.”

Before he could reply you back, you both feel someone’s hand around your necks.

“What are you both doing here? So, you finally brought our girl to this place.”

You smile to this intruder between you both but you are really happy to see him so energetic like always.

“Yes, Woo. Joong finally brought me here after so much whining and ta da I’m standing in front of the building.”

Wooyoung is the one who is always hyped up with silly matters and trying to lift up everyone’s mood in every situation. The way he takes care of everyone and other’s need is very adorable. Being one of the youngest member, he is referred as the menace also because of his mischievous acts but he is the first one to jump in for you if you are in trouble. The most clingy one and your favorite one in this family. But hush, don’t let him know about this as he would be going to shove this on everyone’s face.

Hongjoong removes his friend’s hand from around his neck and walks towards the gate and before he could pull it open. Wooyoung gives you a mischievous smile and holds your hand and makes a run towards the gate.

“Let’s go….”

“Woo...I will fall. Slow down.”

With other hand, he pushes open the door and left Hongjoong cursing at him

“I swear Wooyoung….”

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You push open the door.

Darkness reflects back to you but the full moon day spreading its light inside, slowly clearing your vision and those memories of coming here and spending time fills your mind. Your eyes are blinded not with the darkness of the room but those happy days replaying in front of you.

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As soon as you step inside the warehouse, your hand still in his hold, you come to a halt and take heavy breaths. With calming yourself and fixing your posture, you look towards the centre of the warehouse, where six other boys staring back at you, some confused and some with soft look on their face. With a quick smile towards them, your eyes follow the interior of the place, some small high widows lining the upper end of the walls on your sides and also huge ventilators, old and somewhat rusted rods attached to the pillars for arranging their stuffs. Many of their items spread across the floor, food packets, clothes, shoes all scattered near a corner, basket ball and different kinds of flyers. You pick up a flyer near your feet and eyes scan the photo and description, some men in black outfits of coat and masked and fedora hat with chains decorated on them. ‘wanted’ written at the top of each flyer.

Those flyers still scattered around you. Tears blurring your vision, legs feeling weak, hands shaking by your side. With shaky steps, you walk towards the sofa, covered with a layer of dust and memories. Taking a seat, your hands caress the material.

“Who are they?”

You look at them with curious eyes but none of them answer you, only Hongjoong snatches away the paper from you and throws it aside. Furrowed eyebrows and pouty lips staring at him, he just gives away a dry smile.

“Nothing, its just something which is not your concern or…any of us.”

Your attention moves towards the speaker where the song has been changed to a different melody. It’s a very soothing one from the previous one and you can see Yunho memorising his steps while looking at the mirror. Seonghwa and San by his side and Wooyoung grinning beside them.

“Well, I don’t care about these mysterious men but I care of these three not acknowledging my presence. I feel so neglected and hurt.”

You make a fake crying expression to which Wooyoung stick out his tongue and Seonghwa flick his head and comes near you and now you are grinning to the scene.

“I cant ignore my girl ever.” His warm palms over your cheeks, soothing your every nerve from the exhaustion since the morning. He has that magic of warmness and healing in himself for which you always run to him for warmth like the heat in winter afternoon.

“I don’t believe you. Also, why is this place so dirty?”

He lets out a groan on your question to which everyone laughs and you jokingly glare at them.

“I have to clean this place all alone and everytime these idiots have to destroy it afterwards.”

You keep a neutral expression for few seconds and one two three you burst into laughter. And now everyone has abandoned their previous individual works and attention focused on you. Only you.

Maybe they are friends since childhood and you are a new addition to the group but you are the most precious part in their life. They have their own individual stories and some of them has shared a little part of their life with you and some just gives you tight smile whenever you want to know about them, like Hongjoong, the leader of this group. He has built this whole friendship circle and the last one to meet you. You don’t know much about him but still you trust him, have faith on him that whatever he does or is going to do in near future is nothing wrong. It means no harm to anyone but you fear for him. He keeping his life and feelings aside, always caring about his friends and you.

Will he be safe?

The second person you don’t know much about is the person standing in front of you, Seonghwa. He has a very strict family and always, he needs to follow their rules and regulation on everything as if every second of his life is already scheduled and he cant have his own way and this is the place where he met hongjoong and now this hideout is the escape place for him. This cold abandoned place has the warmness only because of him. He also gave you a bracelet which has a sensor and signal technology attached to it, of course made by yeosang so that they can know if you are in any danger or not. The way a bracelet braces your wrist like a protectiveness. He is always there like a protective barrier to you.

“I thought you will take my side but you are literally laughing like them.”

“I’m sorry Seonghwa but you looked so funny while complaining. Its not like I’m a tidy person myself so….”

You walk towards Wooyoung and snatch the packet of snacks from him, ignoring his whines. Munching on some, satisfied with the spicy chilli-peppered flavour, you again go near the eldest one.

His confused eyes keenly following your every move and his eyes go wide when you a bundle of papers which are kept in a place altogether on the table in front of the sofa.

“What the hell….”

Wooyoung skipping steps towards you, messily throw some other stuffs towards Seonghwa and others joined in the fun too. That’s how the chaos filled with some running after others, scolding, whining and laughs echoed throughout the place.

Whatever their individual life was, one thing was common among them. It’s you. Their precious treasure in life. You were their everything. You were meant to keep safe by them as you were their only hope in life.

To be their light.

▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️

Your gaze falls on the diary still kept in the place where it used to be on the table. You don’t know exactly to whom this actually belongs to but you know, this is most important thing to them. Maybe was. They are no more here to keep this diary. You put the diary in your backpack when you notice a drone placed in a corner and you know that’s broken.

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“What are you doing Yeosang?”

He is still connecting the wires and testing his remote, not aware of your presence behind him. You place your hand on his shoulder for him to get startled and the drone on which he was working fell from his hand.

“Oh…I’m so sorry…I didn’t mean to scare you…”

“Y/N. Its you. I thought….Leave it. What are you doing here today?”

“Wooyoung has a dance battle later this evening and he asked me to go there to watch his performance. So, your eyes are blessed with my beauty.”

He chuckles. Taking the drone in his hands, he gets up to put it on a shelf nearby. He is the quietest one in this group and the reason is very clear. Somehow, like Seonghwa his life is also controlling one but in a different way. He belongs to a royal family from the city, Sector 1. He has an image to be maintained and also his father doesn’t like him to be friends with others who don’t belong to any royal blood. He is the first one you met. You first met him while you were returning home from school and he was standing in the middle of the road looking up at the sky, maybe questioning about himself. About his life. That’s how you become friends when you two met often at that street and that’s how he introduced you to Seonghwa at one convenience store. Yeosang is very talented in every stuff but outstanding when it comes to technology. You know his secret feelings about everything as he only shares such things with you. And you are always there to listen to him. You are his little blue bird to keep the secrets safe. A bird of hope.

“lets go.”

“where?”

“Come on. Don’t you wanna see how well Yunho choreographed Some steps for Wooyoung?”

You gladly accept his hand and go to the other room where both of them were practicing to a song, you heard it before from them ‘To the beat’.

Both of them are very passionate when it comes to dancing. You love to see the rage behind their eyes to make every step to a perfect level and until they are satisfied, they are repeating the steps again and again.

“Yunho, why don’t you go to the dance battles as well?”

The music is already paused by the other to get some water and so your words are well audible to the tallest one. You could see a sad expression flick to his eyes but quickly he sends a wide smile towards you. This does not ease your worry for him. He doesn’t share much with you but he is the most comfortable person to spend time with. He is the one to give you hug after a long day, to give you the feelings of having an older brother. Brother? Is that he to you? You don’t know what they are to you. But they are everything you need. He is a perfect brother for his friends in this place and a perfect man for every girl out there. And for you?

You feel hands engulfing you in a bear hug. You smile widely, snuggling to the chest, knowing who this is.

“How are you tiny?”

“Ugh! I’m not tiny. Joong is tiny. Call him that, not to me. I’m very tall, atleast than majority of the girls in my neighbourhood.”

“Whatever makes you stand tall.”

“My legs keep me stand tall. You are just too tall Yunho. A walking giraffe.”

“Excuse me.”

“You cant be excused. Woo….lets run away before this giant bury me here.”

Grabbing his wrist, you run outside. Don’t know where. But atleast every place is like heaven when one of them is with you.

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A thud sound makes you startled and then you noticed how a black cat has entered the place. You didn’t notice before but the gate is open and maybe the cat has entered through it as there is no other possible entrance. ‘But I’m sure, I had closed the gate when I entered here’. The black cat sniffing a cabinet and you thought of some food or something is kept there but still out of curiosity, you made your way towards the cat.

The cat is not frightened with your presence near it but as if it is signalling you to open the drawer. With shaky hands, you pull the handle.

An hourglass? No wait. It’s that ‘cromer’.

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“Don’t touch it.”

“Hm?”

“Capt…I mean Hongjoong doesn’t let anyone to touch it.”

“Why? What is this?”

“its cromer. it’s a very important part of our life, especially to him. Come on, lets go to the park.”

“Jongho. Are you all not hiding something from me, right?”

Silence. Your anticipation for an answer grows with each second of his mouth shut and slow breathing.

“…no..”

“hmmm…so you are.”

“what do you mean?”

“Well, I know I’m not close to you all for a long time like you guys are from your childhood but in these five years, I have come to know a lot about you all and also not. Whenever, one of you spend time with me, shares a lot of things with me. I start to think, I have known you completely. I know you all. But the next second I don’t , as if you all are ones with hidden life. What are you all hiding from me?”

“y/N…its nothing like you think.”

“It is everything that I think and like you know. Its nothing the way you all are trying to show me things. If you want me to stay away from this, I will. Stay away from you- “

“never. We wont let you stay away from us.”

“I cant. I cant stay away from you all. You guys are like pirates in my life. The eight boys with individual mysterious pasts and united through friendship and on a heist to conquer the treasure. But, I don’t know what I am. An intruder in the pirate ship, maybe?”

“Our light. Our precious treasure.”

Their light.

Jongho, the youngest of the group. You met him when he was thrashing things around the basketball ground because his dreams of being an athletic came to an end after his accident where he hurt his leg and hand. You still don’t know the cause of it but you know both jongho and yunho feel uncomfortable with the topic and so you keep quiet with this. Jongho is the not the one to show affection in front of everyone but he is really a caring person when you are alone with him. He is a very passionate guy with his personal things, majorly his singing. His soothing honey like voice and gummy smile is everything you need to keep your nightmares away. He is a great listener like yeosang and so the most of the time when you are feeling low, you can find these two beside you.

▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️

There is no one to light up your darkness now. You are all alone here. In this cold abandoned building, sitting in front of the table in middle of the warehouse.

▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️

Palms pressed over your eyes, a presence behind your back, pushing you towards your front.

“Mingi…you know I can’t see when you are literally closing my eyes. Slow down. I can’t match your steps here where different things bumping my shoe.”

“I told you, yeosang to keep your gadgets somewhere else then why are they scattered here?”

You could hear Mingi scolding Yeosang but you know Seonghwa is already picking up the things from the ground.

“So? You could have done then, why still waited for me to clean the mess? I am very much busy.”

Your hands come up to remove his hands from your eyes when you come to a pause but he holds it tighter.

“Not now.”

Licking your lips, you pull your lower lip between your teeth and contemplating as what need to be unfold here. What are they upto? Its not your birthday today then-

“Congratulations on being with us for five years.”

Your eyes squint several times to adjust with the view. Hongjoong standing with a cake in his hand, smiling widely at you with Seonghwa glaring at Wooyoung and trying to smile at you because the other one is trying to blow away the candles. Yeosang by your side gives you a smile and congratulates you with San behind him, giving you his eye smile.

“Y/N. You better blow the candles before him or I have to smack him and light it up again.”

“Don’t worry, San. I’m sure he doesn’t want his name to be removed from the dance club.”

“But you don’t know that Yeosang is there to help that menace so better be prepared.”

Yunho comes to your other side with jongho trailing behind and both of them are smiling wide at you but something is there that Yunho is sad about because he is the worst one when it comes to hide his feelings. Its not right time to ask him but maybe later.

“Tiny. San is right. Never trust these two’s intentions. They are bestfriends and they can do anything for each other.”

“Aren’t you all?”

Yunho asks in surprise, “What?”

“Best friends? Aren’t you all best friends with each other?”

“No tiny. We are more than that. We are like brothers, Hongjoong accepted me in this group as if…as if…he is my own elder brother. But soon after others treated me the same. We are a family.”

“So, you all are to me. My family. Also, you all need to stop calling me tiny. I’m not Tiny.”

“Of course, you are.”

All of them laugh at you and meanwhile Jongho pats your head with shaking his head to ignore them. He signals you to blow the candles and when you are about to blow it, you pause. Their worried and confused looks earn a chuckle out of you.

“Whose plan is this for our 5 years?”

They all stare at you. Wait not you. Someone behind you. Mingi.

You quickly turn around, causing his hands to fall from your shoulders. Small eyes and wide smile staring down at you.

“What happened?”

“Thank you.”

He turns you around and hands resting on your shoulder like before and now, you smile towards everyone.

He whispers in your ears, “Welcome.”

“Also, I like the name ‘our girl’ because you all are my ‘my boys’. No wait. ‘My Pirates’.”

Their smiles drop for a mere moment but quickly nod their heads and you blow away the candles.

What are they to you? It’s obvious that they are your family. The only people who actually cared for you like a family. They are like brothers with each other but with you. With you? Did you fall in love with them? Love? You haven’t thought like this with them but you are sure one person is always making it obvious. Even if you feel a little bit something more with them. You are sure its not the same from the other end.

San. He has almost confessed his feelings several times but you just waved it off with changing the topic or just giving him a smile. You being their light was first referred by him. His life is very unstable unlike others. He had to change schools several times and this time, he made himself clear that he has to permanently settle down at one place. Due to changing places often, he does not have any one permanent in his life like you before meeting them. That is why, you are so close with him. The nights you both spend together with your head resting on his shoulder and talking about your life. The comfortable silence between you both and whispers which are only for between you two.

San is a comfort place. They all are. In their own way. The way mountains stand high to protect the nature and its beauty, he is the one shielding all of you and can even sacrifice himself to save you all. To save the friendship and the bonding of the family.

To protect his light.

Their light.

Their treasure.

 You.

The member who is just the opposite to San is Mingi. He is a mysterious person. Its true that they all have some hidden past but his present is also hidden. When San is very physical and verbal with everything, Mingi is quiet and staying all by himself. When you first met him, he was still in school and he got in many fights and Jongho and San were there to bring back him from the scene. He is the one who still thinks himself as the extra member in the family even after so many years. You don’t want him to be left out in any way so you always keep his update whenever you are with them. He always keeps his earplugs on and closing his eyes, staying in a corner of the warehouse. But secretly, he is the most emotional one.

Maybe they have individual mysterious past and some uneven presents which are not clear to you. You don’t know exactly what they do for the living but one thing is common. The future with you all together. The uncalled blurry future which is peeking like a moonlight yet you are not fazed with it. The way they keep you safe from this world. You need to keep them safe from whatever lingering danger roaming around for them.

But, can you?

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“Mr. kang Mr. kang please tell me. Tell me. What’s going on here? Where are they?”

“Go away. Just go away. You don’t have to know about this. I’m sure you don’t want to end up in a similar way like them.”

“what? What happened to them?”

“Nothing you need to know.”

“I have to. I need to know. Let me enter the building. Leave my hand. I need to see them.”

You are screaming and the people crowding the place are looking in between the warehouse entrance and to the side where Mr. kang is holding your arm, preventing you from entering the building. You could see many police cars and ambulance all around. Government forces are also guarding and preventing from anyone trespassing the area which they have already closed with barricades and no entry tapes.

Your screams are echoing the place even silencing the thunderstorm and heavy rain at the moment. Everything is blur to your eyes. Your tears and raindrops mixing together same as the way your hope to meet them mixing with the worry of what happened to them. Everything is crashing to the ground with each rain drop. But one thing is still in your mind, to see them.

A government officer comes near you and Mr. Kang, and your hope to know about the scene rises.

“Hello, Mr.kang.”

“please, what happened? Let me enter. Please.”

The officer looks at you for a moment before Mr. kang speak up, “Ignore her. I will take care of this. So, that’s the end, right?”

“No one is alive. Each on of them is deceased. Also…your son was there too. One among the deceased ones.”

“I know.”

You look towards them with horror in your eyes, “Who?”

“Kang Yeosang.”

Yeosang.

One of the deceased. Them. They are deceased.

You sat on the muddy ground with bawling your eyes out and crying louder. If it were some other times then one or the others would come running to you to engulf you in a tight hug and never let you go until you had come down. But now again. Its you all alone. You don’t have a family now. But atleast you have wonderful memories with a family.

▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️

You are again crying and hiccupping like that day again now, sitting on the sofa with the cromer and your backpack. You don’t know what to do with these stuffs but you are going to take all their stuffs with yourself before someone else gets their hand on them.

The cat is still roaming around the place. You put the cromer on the table where moonlight is coming directly from the big ventilators and starts to put everything possible in your bag. Its late at night already and your eyes feeling droopy with tiredness and crying. So, placing the bag aside, you lie down on the sofa to rest yourself.

.

.

.

.

“She is lonely without us. I can’t see her like this.”

The girl’s head resting on the thighs of the tallest man among them. His hands combing her hairs and caressing the scalp in between. Her legs placed over the other’s thigh, one with broad shoulders and his hands drawing soothing circles over her sides to lull her to sleep.

The other peeking down at her with his best friend from behind the sofa and tears glistening their eyes. Another tall man sitting on a chair nearby the sofa, staring at the tired body sleeping soundly in his friends’ hold.

“She is still wearing my bracelet.” Said the one who is examining her hand and the bracelet.

“She even put my drone in her bag.” The eldest who is still holding the bracelet in his hold looks at the person behind the sofa on hearing his words.

The person beside him nods his head with similar sad smile, “She even pass through the dance club with the hope that she would still see me waiting for her.”

“Everything is still in the same place. Thanks to that dad of mine to lock the place and not letting anyone to enter here but I know he is just going to sell this place to the government and she is doing her best to protect this place with her all might.” Yeosang says while wiping the tears and turning away from them.

The leader kneels in front of his face and removes the loose strands of hairs and tugging them behind before caressing her cheeks with a soft smile on his face but tears threating to fall from his eyes.

“I should not have included her in my life when I knew that one day, I need to leave her here all alone. I should not have showed her the hope of us together forever.” He pauses before continuing, “I thought I could have achieved both- the victory and her but I lost both.”

“But you said We can get back with her and that’s possible?”

“I don’t know, Mingi. I don’t know anything anymore.”

“Is it possible?”

Everyone looks towards the youngest on his sudden question as he was being all quiet and him asking the leader caught everyone’s attention.

“What?”

“Is it possible to start again?”

Hongjoong turns back to the girl sleeping peacefully while the eldest caressing her hand. The leader’s thumb ghosts over the dried tears over her cheeks and dry lips with exhaustion reflecting from her whole self.

“I don’t know what to do but everything is possible till she is being our light and our precious treasure which we need to protect. Our only hope to start a new beginning from the horizon.”

Honjoong leans forward to peck her lips.

▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️

Your eyes shot open and you sit up. You are sweating and bring your fingers to your lips, you feel as if the dream was real. They were here. No. how can they be? You touch your forehead and then to your neck, you are having fever. Its just a dream because of your exhaustion. It was a fever dream.

‘Everything is possible till she is being our light.’

‘Their precious treasure.’

Your eyes stare at the cromer. You need to know about them all over again but in details. You need to find their past and what happened to them that day.

‘Our only hope to start a new beginning from the horizon.’

The diary.

You rummage through the items to get the diary and quickly pull it out.

The title written on it: ‘From the witness.’

Flips open the diary, the first page reflects the word, ‘The Black Pirates’.

The words written scribbled below are Passion Young Fever.

“Is this the end?”

.

.

.

“Or is it the beginning of the end?”

.

.

.

The fever dream was real?

Or actually, you never met them?

Or maybe, It’s just the part of the witness you read in this diary and all these times you spend yourself imagining in her place.

Was it her dream?

Or yours?

……..

[ Now listen here! When writing this down, i literally plotted a whole series but somehow i uploaded this one-shot on the request. maybe I would write a series on this in future. Should I make it a series?]

Perma Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @vvshere @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @eriny123 @sanwifesstuff @kiwiisnthereoops @kiwiraccoon [open!]

omg Hi! Im not sure if you’re still accepting requests but if you still do… I would like to request an ot8 ateez x reader where they all leave her because of a misunderstanding and then they chase her back after but she doesn’t forgive/give in so easily ? Thank you love ❤️

Lost you forever

Pairing: Ateez! ot8 x fem! reader

Genre: Angst, Mafia, Mature

Warnings: crying, mention of death, poison, mentions of mafia activities like shooting and deals in mafia, misunderstanding, pregnancy(?) [plz tell me if I have missed something] oc doesn't forgive easily coz she is deeply hurt.

W.C: 5.3k (i was so into it sorry)

Note: please I want to thanks to people for reading and reblogging. Reviews are always appreciated 😭. Applause to the ones who come up to me to interact and they know how friendly I am. Okay enough!

Network: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity

“I have found her.”

All the noise died down with just one sentence. The room is now pin drop silent with all the heads turned towards the same direction and eyes focused on one person. The one who has just entered through the main door and whose voice made everyone stop in their tracks.

The leader of the group with a blank expression, walks towards the said person and grabs the collar of the leather jacket, eyes burning with his creased forehead but somewhere he wants to believe the words he has just heard.

“You realize what you are speaking right, Mingi?”

Nodding his head, he stares right back, “Absolutely.”

“Are you sure that’s her? Maybe, you might have mistaken someone else.”

Closing his eyes for a second, he sighs, “I have seen her with my own eyes, up so close to realize enough that it was her. Her sweet smile and those soft hands, everything is same.”

The one holding his collar loosen his grip and walks over to the table to get back his drink.

“Hongjoong, stop drinking.” The eldest scolds the leader before turning towards the other, “Then where is she and why didn’t you bring back her here? Where exactly did you see?”

“She was working at the café, down the Ross street. The target’s location was last seen in that café and when I reached there, he had already left and then when I heard that sweet voice asking if I need something?”

“did she see you?” The youngest asks him with curiosity filled in his eyes.

“No. I ordered a simple coffee just to see her longer and when she handed it over to me, I felt her soft and innocent hands touching my rough and ruthless ones. I was wearing a mask so she didn’t notice me but she was hiding her pain really well with her sweet smile.”

“But her eyes were telling something else.” Mingi turns towards Yeosang on hearing his response.

Everyone is feeling guilty that they are the reason you are working all alone there and having the pain inside you which your eyes reflect enough to let them know how you are feeling. They have been with you long enough to know every detail of your actions, to read your emotions from afar, to know if you are happy or to realize that you are hiding something then why. Why did they misunderstood you back then and left you all alone helpless?

“I want to see her. Take me there, just tell me which café is that exactly and I will be on my way there.”

“San, calm down. Take it slow. I know that you are eager to meet her like we all are but we can’t just go there like this. You know what we did back that day. I don’t think, she would want to see us again.”

If they had this much power in their hand to erase that day or to change the situation that occurred that day then they would have done long way back but now its impossible to do so. It’s been three years that they have left you but when their mission in this new country led them to cross your path again, they are not going to leave this chance out of their hand. Searching you for so long and not getting any sight of you has made their life a disaster. Hongjoong has been drinking a lot since he found out that he had done wrong with you and not a single member of his gang can control his vigorous nature but being the leader of the uprising mafia gang, he has to control his limits to not let the opposition know his weakness. Yunho is not better than him here, being the fighter of the group, he is overdoing and exhausting himself just because he can’t get you out of his mind and showing his anger on others. Well, Seonghwa needs to be calm here as being the eldest, he finds this as his responsibility to check if his members are doing okay and him being the second in command has to be with the leader most of the time. But the question is how can he just pretend that he doesn’t think about you, his thoughts are always storming inside his head which are revolving around how to get you back. San is restless, he is almost every time being out of the house doing illegal shits without even informing the leader and just messing up things, which sometimes almost bring them to face a hectic situation but thanks to Wooyoung who is always there to save him but what about himself. He is the one who would show his emotions up his sleeves but when it comes to get you back, he is lost in a void. He doesn’t even know whether to be angry, upset, mad or just forget about you. Forget about you? Is it even possible? Mingi is always out of the base, he has taken upon himself to look out for the targets and engaging with the spies all around to know the motives of other gangs and be prepared but one thing is always flashing to him, thoughts of you. Jongho has kept himself silent for most of the times, away from his members and just trying his way to find out where you are. Are you even alive? He is always there to bug Yeosang to find you in every corner of their hometown but you were nowhere to be found and once they had lost all hope of you being alive. Yeosang has taken the job of being hacker too seriously and that just to find you till the last cell of his data but everytime, he is just getting disappointed.

🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚

“Thank you for your order. Have a great night ahead.”

You smile sweetly towards the customer who just left the café and its almost nine at night so you should get prepared to leave for the night. You are always the last worker to leave on the busy scheduled day as you live just few houses away from here and the manager is too sweet to even let her guard accompany you to reach your house. She once requested you to do the extra night shifts on busy days as other workers live bit far away and you could be much helpful to her. She has this warm motherly aura and so you couldn’t reject her request.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry that you had to stay back late again. It’s Halloween season and you know how people are crowding over here.” Your manager having a guilty expression on her face approaches you.

“Oh no, it’s really fine with me. I can keep my mind off with some stuffs while working here so it’s not a big problem. I rather enjoy being here than staying at home and overthinking.”

“You are so sweet. You should take some leaves and rest for few days as I haven’t seen you taking leaves or going out with someone. Don’t waste your young age everytime working here. Have some enjoyment and refresh your mind.”

“Working here gives me the happiness. I don’t think being with someone can actually refresh my mind or rather haunt me…..Nevermind, you must go back as your son is waiting for you and after getting everything back to it’s place, I will hand over the keys to Mr.Lee.”

Nodding her head and waving at you, she rode back to her place leaving you and Mr. lee, who must be in the locker room getting his stuff and later waiting for you outside.

Arranging all the stuffs, it took twenty minutes as your other co-workers had almost done everything before leaving and the previous orders were simple so you didn’t have much to do. Picking up your bag from the counter, you give a final glance to the place to make a mental note if everything is fine. Satisfied with the result, you quickly went outside to see him already standing and waiting for the keys but he is looking impatient.

“Are you fine, Mr.Lee?”

“U-uh yeah…” sweats visibly lining the forehead and lips quivering. Why is he sweating in this cold night?

“If you need help, please do tell me.”

“Actually, I need to leave early… my daughter needs some help and she has just now called me so I think I cant go with you today.”

“Its fine with me. I can manage on my own, its just few steps and I will be home so don’t worry and leave. I hope your daughter is fine.”

He thanked you several times and left. Like always, your smile is still having that warmth even in this chilly night. Your hands rub your arms and you start walking towards your block. Everything is like usual until you start to feel someone is following you but waving it off as if it must be your fear of walking alone without him. Also, it’s Halloween and anything creepy can happen. Even the children’s pranks are creepier than ghosts. You quicken your steps, hands gripping the bag tightly.

You feel a hand on your shoulder and you almost had screamed when another hand pressed over your mouth, shutting you up and muffling your scream. Your eyes closed tight and hands trying to remove the palm from over your mouth.

“Y/N. Don’t be afraid, it’s me.”

You froze. Not due to the chilly wind just blew past you but because of the very familiar voice. Familiar? You don’t think it has that same familiarity like before. Every morning, this used to be the first voice you would listen while waking you up and engulfing you in a big bear hug. That’s past as now you are used to being wake up with your alarm or nightmares. Just a reminder, he is the part of causing that nightmare.

Parting your eyes, you can see the tall man standing in front of you. Looking down at you with a soft look on his face, teary eyes and hands slowly slip down from your mouth to your biceps to hold them firmly. The street is brightly lit due to the decorations for the occasion so everything is very clear for your eyes. You stare back at him and not knowing how to react as your body and mind is going against each other but you know a little part of your heart still beats for him, for them.

He is about to pull you in for a hug when you stop him with your hands pressed over his chest, preventing him from coming any closer.

“Y/N….”

“Stop it. You should not just hug randomly someone. You may know me but sorry I can’t really remember you.”

“Random? You are my angel. I want to hug you and say sorry for what I have done. Don’t pretend that you don’t know me, please tell me you have missed me equally.”

“Look, you must have mistaken me with someone else but I’m not her.”Pushing his hands off from you, “Even if I know your name doesn’t mean I know you, you are just like the rest of the customers in my daily life whose name I have to hear often. So it’s nothing special and as I don’t hear your name anymore maybe I would forget it forever.”

“Y/N!”

You make a ‘tsk’ sound on hearing him shout your name. Even if they pretend to be polite or gentle with you, they are the ruthless uprising mafia gang so what do you even expect less from them while controlling their aggression?

“This is you. Shout on me. Blame on me. but. Don’t show your kindness to me again. You have literally showed your true colors that day and look here we are. Standing face to face and you still shouting on me just like that day. You are still the same, Yunho.”

Hearing his name coming out of your mouth after three years is sending a wave of warmth to his heart. Atleast, you called him by his name even though your words are straight away piercing his heart like a sharp knife, you haven’t spoken to him like this ever but he knows he deserves it for leaving you that day.

A black SUV comes to a stop near to a side of you both. If it were any other time, you swear you would have got frightened but the raging veins with hatred towards him is not minding any danger surrounding you. You didn’t look at it’s direction but can hear several footsteps are nearing you. Why are you not scared? Is it because you are feeling safe in his presence? No, it’s just you don’t want to be saved or show your weakness, atleast in front of him.

“Doll.”

Don’t turn back. You are just imagining things. He can’t be hear even yunho is not here, right? You want to believe this but the presence behind you is too near you, his warm hands placed over your shoulder sending a jolt through your body. It may be warm but is lacking the warmth, you can only feel the coldness of feelings there. Turning around, you look into the eyes of Mingi, who just called you with the name he gave you on your first date with him.

Okay, so everyone is here. All the eyes are just looking at you, only you. If it was something back in those days then you would have become shy and hide behind Yunho and not look at them but this time, your daring eyes precisely staring back at them. Their eyes filled with regret meeting your eyes filled with hatred.

“Why are you all here?”

“For you.” Hongjoong replies quickly enough and this made you raise your brow.

The scene is like a deja-vu, very similar to the last time you had seen them. Them circling you under the night sky and you are the centre of the situation but that time, they had that rage in their eyes for blaming you and hoping you to vanish from their eyesight but this time, they have the fear…of losing you again.

“it’s not funny. If you all are going to have some Halloween pranks on people then go somewhere else, don’t waste my time.”

“It’s really not funny and also not a prank. We are really here for you.”Hongjoong said calmly.

“And? You got to see me. You needed to know if I’m alive or not and now you might kill me as I already know a lot of your things and it’s dangerous for you all to keep me alive. Go ahead, shoot me.”

“Y/n, are you insane? How can you think like this that we will shoot you?”

“San, it’s very obvious from the way you were pointing the gun to my forehead with fire in your eyes.” You point to the middle of your forehead with two fingers. They would have found your acts childish but your tone is too harsh for their ears, making it obvious how much hatred you have towards them.

The said man fidgeting his fingers, looking down and a single tear escapes his eyes. The tear of losing you. You are so near to him, just few feet away where he can run to you and hug you tightly and pull you in for a kiss yet so far away because of the way, your eyes glaring at him.

Mingi moves aside when Hongjoong comes in front of you, “Princess-“

“Don’t call me that when you don’t know how to treat one. I’m not your princess. Well, I’m no one to you.”

No one to him and this word burns his heart. Not only his but others too. Still he tried to speak to you.

“Whatever happened that day, we are really guilty for that. We are extremely sorry to treat you that way. I don’t know what happened to me and I put the blame on you, thinking it was your plan, everything I had lost that day was because of me and I lost you but trust me, each day I have spent regretting for this. Please forgive me. Please.”

He is no more holding back his tears, being a leader is a great responsibility and controlling his emotions in every situation is the major part but you were always there with him by his side where he could express himself, to show his vulnerable self to you but this time instead of comforting him, you are mocking back at him.

“Are you crying because of regret or losing your mission that day? I’m sure it’s about the shitty mission or what else-”

Yunho turns you around harshly and this time you can see his flaming eyes, “Are you making fun of him? What happened to you really? You have totally changed. This is not Y/N, we knew back then.”

“Exactly, this is not your Y/N anymore. This is me. An orphan who lives alone in this block and works by the café down the street. Also, not nice to meet any of you.”

You give him a blank expression. His grip on you tightens and you just stare at the hold, hissing but not telling him to leave you. Why? Because you want to feel him. No. You want to see how much he can lose control on you and the physical pain is nothing compared to the mental pain, you have gone through the years.

“Please come back to us. We are here to take you back, to your home, our home.”

Seonghwa. Please don’t speak like that. He is a siren for this because even if you want to hate him, his voice is always as if lurking you to trust him, his words which are still soothing to your ears, remembering those feather kisses. No. They are pinching you like a thorn just like your words are doing to his heart.

“There is nothing called ours. My place is here and nowhere else. I guess you don’t know the meaning of a home. Home is somewhere you can feel warmth and comfort, a forgiving atmosphere to erase your pain into happiness. But the place you are mentioning is a prison to me, hearing the name suffocates me, the memories haunt me. Atleast, here, I’m okay by myself, far away from you all but still nothing is a home to me.”

“Why are you saying like this? Please don’t push us away when we just got you back.”

“So? I should forgive you all and get back to you. Never. This is not happening ever.”

You walk towards him, his ears perk up hearing your heels nearing him, Yunho has left his grip on you but his hands aching to touch you again. The memories of you both spending nights together with warm skin against skin, hushed promises surrounded by the burning love but now even if your skin is warm, the touch was cold with numb feelings.

You pull the strap of Seonghwa’s jacket and other hand block his hand which he was about to raise and swiftly pull the gun out, pointing it towards his forehead. Others come to a warned position.

“If I shoot you here and wait enough to bleed you to death.” You turn to look back at them, their surprise faces looking back at you but no one daring to step forward. “Then if I say, please forgive me. Will it be worthy?”

“But…but we didn’t hurt you. We…we just….” San doesn’t know how to complete his sentence. He is lost within his own words. Seeing you after years, your coldness towards them, even pointing gun towards one of their member and remembering how you and him were in the same position last time causing his hands shake. So ironic for a mafia member. No matter how strong they are, how ruthless they can be but when it comes to you, you are their weakness.

“It’s not always hurting someone physically. Their way of act towards you speaks volume and the words you told me while pointing the gun is way more painful than if you would have actually shoot me.” Turning, towards Seonghwa, “You have already killed me that day. I am dead for you.”

“Baby, please don’t say like this.”

“How many times do I need to tell you that I’m nothing to you all? Stop calling me names.”

Wooyoung’s eyes go wide on hearing your shout. He is so much taken aback by your outburst that he is almost looking helpless towards Mingi standing near him.

“I’m sorry…I mean…please don’t say like this. You are everything to me, to us. You don’t know how messed up we were when we left you. I’m so sorry to leave you but please atleast lets forget about that incident and please come back to us.” Wooyoung stutters but not again using the endearment.

Mingi chirps in, “Human can may make mistakes. Whatever happened that day, we know it was not your fault, it was a mistake and we really forgive you for that. I’m sorry for being harsh on you.”

“Yes. We are really guilty. We should have listened to you but rather we blamed you on the spot and said such harsh words which even if I want to take back, I can’t. I didn’t let you to explain but ended up on a conclusion.” Wooyoung ends the sentence with tears spilling from his eyes silently.

Do you forgive them? Yes. but Why? They are still telling you it was your mistake. You cant forgive them so. No.

“So you still think that it happened because of my mistake? It was an accident?”

“Y/n…”

“Stop it, Yunho. Don’t speak a single word. I’m getting annoyed with you.”

Your steps come to a stop in front of Wooyoung whose eyes are shining to get you so close to him. He raises his hands but got yanked away by you. Maintaining a straight eye contact with him, you grab his collar.

“look at me and say that it was my mistake. It all happened because of me.”

He remained silent. He parts his lips but nothing coming out and this is making you impatient.

“Tell me!”

Hot tears streaming down your eyes. Still your body is not getting enough warmth and craving for it during the cold night in that lonely street. Even if you are with all of them still you are feeling alone. Your vision is getting blurred but you roughly rubbed your eyes with the sleeves of the shrug. Your breathings are getting heavy and you are losing control.

The youngest pulls away Wooyoung from your hold and holds your red hands in his grip which are shaking due to the tight fist.

“Please, calm down. It’s me Jongho. It’s not your fault. No one is blaming you. Take deep breathes and calm down.”

He knows that you are hyperventilating and he still knows how your body is reacting and you hate this. You harshly pull your hands away from his hold.

“Don’t touch me. My body aches when I remember how I let you monsters to touch me, everywhere, every day. I’m feeling so ashamed of myself. Don’t make me regret more. I hate the fact how you still know this about my body and am beyond surprised that you still remember me. Oh wait, you have to remember every detail of your enemy before plotting a nice plan and attacking them, right? And today is the perfect day.”

“You are not my enemy. You are my-“

“Stop. Don’t complete that sentence, Jongho.”

“Don’t speak to him like that, he was not even there during the whole mission, he was in for a quick need for back-end support for Yeosang.”Mingi says in a moderate tone.

“But was there long enough to blame me.”

Hongjoong places a firm hand on Mingi’s shoulder, “No one is blaming you. It was an accident and you didn’t know what to do there.”

“I know that whatever you did was to save yourself and I’m glad that you are fine.”

You stare at Hongjoong for a few moments and then burst out laughing like a maniac. Any other person would have found you weird and commented that you have gone mad. Even they would have made fun of you and teased you that how foolish you looked like while laughing like this.

Frustrated groans and your hands raising to your scalp and you mess your hairs. You are totally acting like a drunk person.

“hongoong, did you hear what he just said? Did you hear everyone? He said that I did that to save me. Huh. To. Save. Me.”

You skip steps towards yeosang and slap him, “You think I have killed Mr. Kim to save myself?”

“Y/n!”

You could barely hear Seonghwa and Yunho’s shout when you grabbed Yeosang’s biceps and shake him. He is shocked not just because you have slapped him but seeing you losing your mind like this and having no control over your actions and he is still thinking that something like this might have happened which cause you to kill Mr.Kim.

“Tell me Yeosang. You think I did it for myself? Tell me.”

Nothing he said in reply, just stared right back at you, the only thought running through his mind is to hug you and say that he won’t be leaving you again. He would protect you from the whole world. His daily searching to get your location was always in vain and he still can’t believe his eyes that you are standing in front of him but your eyes showing the amount of hatred in you for him. a helpless cry audible to his ears to which he was deaf during last time.

“So, you do think it is.”

You take a few steps back, staring back at each of them. San tried to come near you but Yeosang stopped him and shook his head.

“I…I did it…I killed him…It was not an accident.” You look up to the sky and smile to yourself, “I did it to save my family. I shoot him to save you all from his evil planning. You all were my family and I tried my best to face him, my hands were shaking, head was spinning. I couldn’t place the actions and words right in place but I knew I had to do it to save you all.”

“save us?” Hongjoong asks you in surprise.

You chuckle sadly, “Your beloved dad had only invited you to the party so that he could destroy you and your gang. He realized that you are not his own son and Jungwoo is his real son so to give him all the power, it was a better option to erase you from the path. I got to know this because Jungwoo told me and he didn’t want to support his dad in this way and somehow mr.Kim tried to kill me when he heard that I wont let you join the party.”

“That’s why…that’s why…you were whining to spend time with us and cancel the schedule.”

You nod on Jongho’s statement.

“I didn’t know how to stop you so before I could come up with a plan, you were already in your way to catch your target at the party held by Mr.Kim. And…and…when I tried to follow you all, he caught me and poisoned me.”

“Why did he poison you?” Wooyoung almost shout hearing this.

“He wanted to see you all going down first seeing me die and then it would be fun to end you. He really succeeded here.”

“What do you mean?” Yunho asks you slowly. You glance towards him but nod a bit.

Picking up your bag which is lying on the floor because of the previous commotion, you look down and tears flowing continuously, “even when I was poisoned, I escaped from the room and when I reached the scene, you were already in the middle of the bloody scene with your target. He was going to leave the place and would leave you all dying in the bomb blast and that’s how I thought it was best to kill him.”

“You didn’t tell that you were poisoned, we thought you were acting of feeling sick.” Even though Seonghwa confessed what he did feel right back then still he is feeling guilty towards you. You stare right back into his eyes.

“When I shot him in front of you all, Hongjoong snatched the gun from me and you harshly pulled me towards the exit and then it went on with you all blaming me.” You cast a glance towards San, “you pointed the gun at me and threatened me to kill if I don’t spill whose spy I was. You even doubted me with Jungwoo that we were cheating behind you and it was our plan to destroy you.”

Huh. Such cheap thought they had. They all blamed you and called such names and even threatened to kill you. It was not enough that they even insulted you in front of everyone present in the party even tried to prove your imaginary relation with Jungwoo.

“I’m sorry…”

“Mingi. Say sorry to Y/N who was trying to explain everything to you all, who was enduring the pain of spreading poison in her body and was still trying to protect you. Go hug her and pull towards you and say everything is okay, whose hands were shaking because she never killed anyone in her life before despite you all trained her in every field for her self-defence. Go and listen to her and ask her. Are you fine?”

He can’t match your eyes so he looks down regretting his every move, you throw a dirty look at him yet somewhere your eyes showing a little bit of sympathy. Your body still reacting to their touch and wanting to run to their embrace making you hate yourself.

“You can’t go. She is dead. Your Y/N is dead. Congratulations, you have killed her that day. You have killed a new life with her as well. She didn’t even get to know who her father is. Mission completed Boss.”

You stare straight and boldly towards Hongjoong.

“Her? Father? What are you saying?” Yeosang is impatient on hearing such things from you. He is confused just like the others and their heart is racing whereas yours is calm but painfully beating.

“I have lost my first baby and one of you lost the honour of being the father for the first time. It was too late when I woke up in the hospital, the poison had already been spread too much. I don’t know how I am still alive but maybe atleast Jungwoo didn’t leave my side.”

It was a big storm for them. As if the ground disappeared from underneath their feet. You were pregnant and they were unaware of it. If only they had agreed with your warnings, then they would have been having a happy family time with you and their baby together. No matter whose baby she was, she would have been theirs, they all would have given their fatherly love to her.

Without saying any more word, you begin to walk towards your way and didn’t even look back for the last time towards them.

“Y/N…”You heard wooyoung calls you from behind and they might follow you.

Still facing your back towards them, you speak slowly but audible enough for them, “Don’t follow me or come to find me again. You have left me that day, helplessly crying in the garden. Don’t expect me to forgive you and go back to you again.”

You walk away, far away from them where your silhouette getting lost in the painful dark but they know atleast you are safe and alive beyond that darkness. Their eyes follow the last bit of your presence.

They won’t be giving up on you like this. They will get you back someday but they also know that they have lost a part of you forever.

“I love you but I have lost you.”

PART 2

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