Lover To Lover

Lover to Lover

Chapter 2: Resolutions

Pairing: Liandrin Sedai x Reader, Alanna Sedai x Reader (platonic)

Word Count: about 2700

Warning: mention of character death, nsfw, jealousy sex, fingering

Summary: After you've gone through the Arches and slept a bit, you go and talk to Liandrin, though she doesn't seem to care very much.

A/n: Second and last Chapter!! Hope you love it, I'd be happy about a repost or a comment, love you guys <3

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It was dawn when you awoke again. Looking around you, you weren't sure where exactly you were for a moment. But when you saw Alanna, recent events came back into your mind. You were an Accepted now. And your father was dead. The two things made you feel miserable and proud at the same time, and you were not sure how to handle the conflicting emotions.

Alanna approached you and sat down on the edge of the bed. Her bed, you realised. She had given up her bed for you, and you immediately felt bad about it.

"I've got fresh clothes for you, and your new room is available. Your things have already been brought there." She handed you the clothes, embroidered with the colours of the Ajahs at the sleeves. She stood up and turned away, an indication for you to get changed. So you did, a little distracted by the ring on your finger for a moment. You had never been one for jewellery, your hand felt unusually heavy. After you were clothed you let your fingers run over the stitched colours on your wrists. It felt surreal. It felt like a dream, like you were still inside the Arch and any second now something horrible would happen. But it didn't.

Alanna showed you to your new room and left you alone. You felt lost, the room was at least three times as big as your old one. There were barely enough things in your possession to fill the room. It looked just like any other room, not like your room.

Your possessions had been little when you had come to the Tower and as a novice you weren't allowed to leave the tower without an allowance. Alanna had been generous, often allowing you to accompany her to Tar Valon. You had seen most of the city, but had little money to buy things.

One thing had a special place on your night stand. A small wooden figurine that you had liked on the market. You hadn't had any money to buy it, but apparently Liandrin had observed you and bought it for you, because one day later she had brought it to your room. You cherished it like the apple of your eye, even though you were aware that at that time she had still tried to get you on her side. It had been in your early days in the tower and you and Liandrin hadn't yet known each other very well. So it had been more manipulation than kindness.

As you looked at the little figurine, you remembered the third Arch and the feeling of Liandrin in your arms, dying. You shot up from the bed and practically ran out of your room. On your way to her room, you slowed a little and pulled yourself together again.

Gently you knocked on her door, but no one opened. You knocked once more, nothing. Slowly you opened the door and took a step inside. Your eyes scanned the room but didn't see her. Just as you wanted to turn around and leave, you saw her. She was on the little balcony that her room had. Not many rooms in the tower had a balcony, but of course the Liandrin Sedai had a room with a balcony.

Quietly you closed the door behind you and walked onto the balcony. You stopped and just stared at her back for a moment, relief washed over you. Of course, you had theoretically known that she was still alive, but her death had felt so real. It was hard to ignore that. Would she have been someone else, you would have fallen around her neck and held her tightly. But she was Liandrin, so you didn't so that and simply stepped closer.

Just as she did, you leaned on the railing next to her and stared ahead. Her eyes didn't even flicker over to you, but you could see she was a little surprised.

"What are you doing here?" She snapped and you looked at her. Her eyes were fixed on the horizon, her posture was perfect as always and conveyed confidence. You didn't say anything and simply held your hand up, the one with the ring on it. Now her eyes flickered down to your hand, and you thought you had seen a spark of pride in them. But it was gone as fast as it had appeared.

"I hope Alanna is proud of her little pet. She'll definitely be happy to have gained an Accepted to teach." Her words were filled with venom, and she spit them out like they could poison her as well. You pulled your hand back and looked at her appalled.

"Really? That's all you have to say?" You ask in disbelief and scoff. That woman had nerves, truly. She didn't answer.

"I came here to ask you if you'd like to teach me, now that I'm an Accepted. And all you can muster is jealousy, not even any sort of praise or kind word?" Her eyes widened a little, but she pulled herself together very quickly. She shifted and turned her body in your direction, now just supporting herself on the railing with one hand.

"Why would you want me to teach you? You clearly didn't want that before." She held her chin high, proudly. She nearly looked a little arrogant. Who were you joking, she usually did.

"Because you weren't allowed, Liandrin. I wasn't going to risk your position." You said confused.

What did she think your reasons were? Did she really think you hadn't wanted her as a mentor? She could be so daft. She looked a little surprised, never really having thought about this possibility.

"You are such an idiot. I always wanted you to teach me, and now you're allowed to. So will you?" You ask, nearly doubting if she'll say yes. Before you had talked to her, you had been sure she would say yes. You looked at her, waiting for an answer. She silently nodded and turned away.

"Yes, I'll teach you."

"Alright. Now, will you finally ask?" You kept your eyes on her, even as she had turned away. You sounded almost a little annoyed, no one would ever dare to talk to Liandrin like that. But you were close enough, at least you liked to think that. And she always let you.

"Ask what?" You scoffed at her. Was this a bad joke? She slowly turned her head to look at you again. She wasn't joking, you could see that. She was dead serious.

"You do know what I just did to become an Accepted, don't you? That I went through the Arches?" You raised your voice, getting angry. Why was she acting so icy? She usually didn't act like this with you. Not anymore at least.

"And? Did you see Alanna being disappointed in you? Whatever else could you be scared of? You're a picture prefect student, with a picture prefect life." You stepped back a little, mouth open. No words escaped you, as you just didn't find any fitting once. Why on earth couldn't she get over Alanna?

"I really don't get why you're acting like this Liandrin, but for your information. I saw my sister being raped and dying, just as I did when I was nine years old. I saw my father being buried, so I know that I'll never see him again. And I saw you dying in my arms, because I wasn't able to heal you." You felt tears rise in you, and you wanted to turn away and leave but Liandrin caught your arm. You violently tried to shake her off, but her grip was too tight.

"What did you just say?" She asked, dumbfounded.

"You heard me. And I actually came her to see that you're well, and alive. To reassure myself and maybe get a hug. I'm not sure how I could have been so stupid as to think you'd hug me. To think you'd ever feel the same for me. But all you've got for me is jealousy and venom. Is it so bad that you didn't get to teach me, that you didn't get to infiltrate me and manipulate me into being a red?" You spit the words out, voice raised even though it broke a little as your throat tightened from the tears. She stared at you, utterly confused. For the first time since you had known her, she wasn't in control of her facial expression.

Suddenly she swiftly pulled you closer and let go of your arm. But before you could turn away again she harshly grabbed your face and crashed her lips onto yours. It was an angry kiss and caught you completely off guard. A slight gasp escaped you, and you stumbled a little backwards, supporting yourself on the railing behind you. For a moment you thought you'd simply fall over it and down into your death, but Liandrin wrapped her arm around you and held you close. Every single thought simply left your mind, it was completely filled with Liandrin. With the way her lips felt on yours, the way her arm was wrapped around you.

Though the kiss was harsh, it was filled with passion. Liandrin's mouth opened and, like you were being controlled by her, yours immediately did the same. You felt yourself getting lost in the kiss, her tongue running over your lip and her arm steadily holding you close. As you both ran out of breath, the kiss was broken.

Breathing heavily you stared at her, utterly outraged. She still held you close, so your face was mere inches apart from hers. A condition that made it very hard to think straight. Literally.

"What in lights name was that, Liandrin?" You asked her and freed yourself from her grip. She let go, and you immediately stepped back, needing some space to get your mind back to work. She looked confused and opened her mouth to speak. Then she closed it again. Liandrin Sedai was speechless, rarely had you seen that. She found her voice again and spoke, softer than before.

"Did you not like it?" She carefully asked, completely missing the point of your question. If on purpose or not, you weren't sure. You rolled your eyes and chuckled.

"Yes, I liked it. But you-..." you searched for the right words and didn't miss the way the corners of her lips twitched upwards at your words. "... you seem to not care about me being an Accepted now, or what I saw in the Arches at all. And suddenly you kiss me, like there is no tomorrow." You throw your hands up, and tilt your head in question.

"Of course I care, don't be ridiculous." She huffed and looked away from you, eyes fixed on the horizon again. You nod mockingly.

"An interesting way of showing it, for sure. Not asking in the first place and then mocking me and Alanna. What actually is your problem with Alanna?" She desperately tried to avoid eye contact with you, nearly like she was embarrassed by something. And at that moment it suddenly all made sense.

"My god, you're jealous." Now she looked at you, eyes filled with rage again. She stepped closer to you, as if to threaten you.

"I am not jealous." She hissed the words out between gritted teeth, but you just chuckled.

"Oh, yes you are. You thought I had chosen Alanna over you. You foolish idiot. I tried to protect your position, and while I like Alanna, I don't like her how you think I do." Liandrin's body visibly relaxed, and her eyes softened a bit, the rage having dissolved.

"I think I might have to make you jealous more often, if you then kiss me like that." You chuckle a little, teasing her. You knew you were treading dangerous paths, but with Liandrin most paths were dangerous.

She was still incredibly close, so close you could feel her breath on your lips. And mere seconds later also her lips. Because she had been so close her lips had met yours so suddenly that to hadn't had any time to take notice of it until you were already kissing back. She took a few steps forward, which resulted in you having to step back until your back hit a wall. Her lips remained on yours the whole time.

She reached down to the brim of your dress and shoved it up, her hand running over your naked leg up to your naked thigh. She didn't waist any time, nor did she even try to be gentle. She didn't hurt you, she never would, but she certainly didn't care for romance right now. You felt a shiver run down your spine as her cold hands touched your skin. In mere seconds her fingers had found your centre and roughly pushed your underwear aside. Two fingers immediately slipped inside making you gasp out loud. Desperately wanting to hold on to something your hand found its way onto her waist where you dug your nails into her clothes.

"Next time, behave and don't make me jealous again." She spoke, quietly but commanding. The tone in her voice just aroused you more. You managed a grin between gasps.

"But the result is so wonderful." You pressed out, and immediately she thrust deeper into you harshly, locking eyes with you. She wanted to show you who was in control, wanted to keep the upper hand. You'd work that out with her, but for now you were quite pleased with it.

Every time she thrust into you the palm of her hand inevitably rubbed over your clit, making you moan desperately. You could feel yourself getting closer and closer to climax, so you gently cupped her cheek and locked eyes with her. You wanted to see her beautiful eyes and wanted her to watch you, to see every little gasp and twitch that you produced. Her face was so close to yours, your noses nearly touched. She captured your bottom lip between her teeth and pulled your lips into another kiss. Your whole body shivered and as she buried her fingers deep inside you, hitting sensitive spots, you gasped into the kiss, mouth hanging open and your fingers dug themselves deeper into her clothes. You felt pleasure run through you and make you tense. She grinned, as she could feel you clench around her fingers.

That grin, that beautiful face was all you needed to come. Eyes locked with hers a loud moan rolled over your lips and your knees felt like they might give in and make you fall down. Liandrin thankfully held you up, so that you didn't. Your breaths came in short gasps and the grin didn't leave Liandrin's face, like it was glued on. You felt her slowly pull her fingers out and withdraw from under your skirt.

"Clean me, will you?" She held her fingers out to you, and you eagerly wrapped your lips around them. Holding eye contact with her, you let your tongue run over them until they were clean.

As you calmed your breathing down, the two of you remained just as close together. You let your eyes wander over her face, and suddenly you had the urge to pull her into a hug, as the pictures from the Arch found its way back into your mind. You tightly held onto her and hid your face in her hair. Hesitantly she reached around you and hugged you back.

"It looked so realistic, for a second I was convinced it was true." You whispered into her hair, so quietly she nearly hadn't heard it. Her hand slowly stroked your back. An unusually tender action for her.

"What do you mean?" Her voice was also unusually soft.

"In the Arch. You died, in my arms. And I could heal you, couldn't save you. And when I came out for a second I thought you were actually dead." Your throat tightened a bit, so you stopped talking before the tears could overwhelm you. Her embrace around you tightened a bit.

"No ghost made you gasp like that, little one." She spoke teasingly and yet there was an undeniable softness to her voice. She wanted to reassure you, comfort you. She just wasn't really sure how. Still, it made you chuckle, so it had worked.

"Good point."

Ahem-

Left Behind

Pairing: Moiraine Sedai/Reader

Word Count: 2020

Warning: implied sexual activity

Summary: Moiraine left for the Dragon Reborn without saying goodbye or an explanation. Three years later she's back in the Tower.

A/n: I know it's been a long time since I've posted, but a lot happened. In Uni and my personal life, so I didn't have too much time. I'm sorry. I hope you like it. Request: @lovequinnin (I hope its kind of like you wanted it <3)

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You rounded a corner in the Tower and suddenly stood right in front of Lan. For a dreadful second you just stared at him before slowly walking backwards around the corner and fleeing.

If Lan was here, Moiraine wasn't far.

Everything inside of you screamed to go to her. To ask how she'd been, hug her, kiss her. But she had hurt you once, and you didn't want her to do it again. Even after three years, it still hurt. Every day. Every moment. You wouldn't be able to live through that a second time. It would break you, completely and irrevocably. So you just kept your distance.

Which was harder than it sounded. The Tower was big, but not that big. And being a part of the brown Ajah, sitting in the library all day definitely didn't help, when Moiraine needed something from the Library every day.

The first day it was inconvenient, but it wasn't unusual. Everyone needed to go to the library sometimes. The encounter was awkward but bearable. She left as fast as she had come. You barely looked at her, politely but coldly giving her the book she needed. Politely but coldly asking if she needed anything else. And politely but coldly saying goodbye, turning around and going back to work.

The second day it was simply annoying. You dreaded seeing her more often just because she needed a book. You didn't really look up, but just the way she walked, her voice, her presence was enough to make your heart ache.

The fifth day you started to get suspicious. She had come every day for the past five days and everyday it seemed as if she needed a different book. All on topics, that weren't related in any way. It was unusual for Moiraine, she was organised, structured. It didn't fit her way of working.

On the morning of the seventh day you decided to talk to her about it. It was absolutely silly. This game made you go crazy. It was like she wanted to see you hurt. But on this day, for the first time in a week, she didn't come.

Not in the morning, not in the afternoon and not in the evening. It was already dark outside when you left the library, you had stretched your work, secretly hoping she would still come. But she hadn't, and that nearly hurt more than seeing her.

You strolled through the tower absent-mindedly, thinking about Moiraine. You were fighting with yourself. Your heart longed to see her, your brain screamed at you to stay away. To protect yourself, protect your heart.

Apparently the wheel decided to make that decision for you.

As you strolled down the corridor, on your way back to your room, you bumped into someone. You looked up and started an apology, that immediately got stuck in your throat as you saw the face of the person you had run into. It was Moiraine. Of course it was, who else would it be?

You stuttered out a few words, more like sounds, before taking a step back, as you suddenly realised how close you were. You pulled yourself together and straightened up a bit. You dared to look at her, but avoided her eyes. You knew that her eyes would always break you.

"Moiraine." You simply said, voice steady even though you felt your hands tremble slightly.

You saw the corners of her lips rise slightly, her eyes searching for yours.

"(Y/n)." She said softly. You could hear a hint of hope in her voice, a hint of...longing?

"Can I help you?" Your voice was icier than you had intended, but you couldn't pull back anymore. Her smile faded and her shoulders sank just a little bit. Gently she sighed.

"Please, can we talk?" She asked you, voice steady as always. Like it didn’t mean anything to her, at all. You stared at her, speechless. Her voice was steady, so steady she had nearly fooled you. But, just nearly. You sensed how desperate, how helpless she was. Even though she had no right to be. She had no right to be hurt, when she had been the one who had hurt you.

Your mouth opened and closed, your eyes widened a little. You couldn't find the words. So you grabed her arm and pulled her a few metres down the corridor, opened the door of your room and pulled her inside. Thinking about it now, she had probably went to your room earlier, hadn't found you and had just been leaving when you had bumped into her.

"You want to talk? Ok, let's talk." You said, voice filled with rage. Rage that you desperately hoped would hide your pain, would shove your tears down. It was a thin line between rage and hurt.

"(Y/n)..." She started but you harshly cut her off.

"No, you have no right to talk right now. Even coming to the library every single day is just outrageous. You just left. Three years ago, you left. You were just gone one day and never said a word. No letter, no message, no explanation." The words burst out of you, they'd been hidden inside of you for so long. All the hurt, the confusion and the anger just spilled out of you.

You could see the surprise on Moiraine's face, she steped back a little and tried to say something, but you just rambled on. Giving her no room for answers and explanations.

"You left me behind, like all those times together meant nothing to you. Like I meant nothing to you." You abruptly stopped talking as you saw Moiraine's eyes getting wet, her cheeks redden slightly, and her whole body slightly collapsed in on itself.

You wanted to go on, wanted to shout at her, wanted to make her feel everything she had made you feel. But your stupid heart betrayed you, it still beat for her. No words left your mouth. You simply stood there, like you were petrified. After a second you moved again, took a few steps back and sank into a chair.

You rest your head on your hands and looked down, trying hard to keep the tears down. In vain. Just a few slipped out and rolled down your cheeks, but you didn't let Moiraine see them.

You heard her getting closer, slowly, carefully. She stopped, and sighed. As she started to talk, her voice was soft like honey and strong. But it was wavering a bit, just a tiny bit. But you noticed. You'd always notice.

"I'm sorry. I had to leave, it was for your own safety. I couldn't say anything, the Amyrlin Seat forbid me to-..." you cut her off again, though not nearly as harshly as before.

"Since when do you listen to the Amyrlin Seat?" It sounded bitter, but teary.

"Since it meant protecting you." She said. It's raw, full of emotion. Different to what she usually sounds like, and it made you look up. As if to check, if it's still Moiraine who's talking. But it was.

You sighed, the exhaustion of the day and the tears stronger than your rage. For the first time in three years you thought, that maybe she really hadn't meant to hurt you. That maybe she never stopped loving you.

Your voice is quiet, thin as you speak. It's wavering and doesn't sound like your voice. Even to you, it's foreign. You looked down again, not having enough strength to look at her while talking.

"I didn't need your protection. I needed your love. When you left, you took a part of me with you. A part of me I never got back." Your eyes were glued to the floor and a tear falls to the ground. You felt her before you saw her.

She had kneeled down in front of you and gently grabbed your chin between her fingers to lift your head. You tried to turn away, to not lock eyes with her, but her grip was strong. It held you in place, it forced you to look at her.

You saw hurt, pain, regret but most importantly love. Love, like you hadn't seen in three years. Her hand wandered to your cheek and cupped it, softly stroking your skin, wiping a few tears away.

"(Y/n)" she quietly breathed your name. Her name on your lips had always sounded like a promise. Until she broke that promise.

"I'm so sorry for the way I hurt you. It's never what I wanted. Lan had said I shouldn't...but I couldn't risk it. Couldn't risk your safety." The words sounded sincere, like the truth. It sounded, which almost hurt the most, a lot like something Moiraine would do. She had always estimated the value of love far too low. Even if it was her own love, maybe especially when it was her own love.

"Don't you think that should have been my decision?" You asked sadly, smiling bitterly, nearly accusing. She sighed, closing her eyes for a moment. When she opened them, there was determination in them, strength.

"I knew that you would have wanted to come with us. But that wasn't possibly, I couldn't have forgiven myself if... If you'd been hurt." You tilted your head to the side a little, like a curious puppy. Didn't she know? That you would have died for her. You blinked a few times, trying to find fitting words.

"I would have," you replied softly, "I love you."

The tense surprised you both. Of course, you knew that you still loved her, you just hadn't meant to admit that. But she looked at you like she had expected you to hate her. To never feel anything good for her again. Didn't she know? That you'd always love her.

No one dared to say anything, as if it would break the spell. As if it would catapult you back to reality, like this was a dream. You felt her hand still on your cheek, warm and tingling. She doesn't acknowledge it, but she doesn't move it away either.

"Still?" She asked with a thin voice, not much louder than a whisper. Didn't she know?

"Of course. Nothing you could do would ever make me stop loving you."  You saw a tear slowly roll down her cheek. She sucked it up and looked away, fighting against the tears. She slightly shook her head in denial.

"I do. I'll always love you, Moiraine." You gently directed her face back to look at you and dry her tear. Your thumb softly stroked over her lips and slightly parted them. Moiraine's eyes closed and she breathed in shakily.

Slowly, carefully you leaned forward and captured her lips in a kiss. It's a soft kiss, short and careful. It's a question. And Moiraine answerd.

She pressed against your lips, more desperately than you, it nearly felt guilty. Like she wanted to apologise, make up for lost time. Show you, that she cared. That she loved and longed.

You're a little startled by her kiss, but soon you pulled her closer, held her and forgave her. You started taking of her clothes, stood up and draged her to the bed. It was messy, hastily and chaotic. But it was all you needed. Her. By your side.

"I'll come with you." You breathed out quietly against her hair. You were intertwined, under the sheets, arm in arm.

"No, you don't even know where I'm going or what I'm doing." She protested, her voice almost sounded desperate. Desperate to protect you, to keep you safe.

"You won't leave me here again. I'm coming with you." Your voice is steady, calm. You knew you would win the argument, you usually did.

"It's dangerous."

"I don't care. If you'd asked, I would have come with you three years ago." The blunt truth hung in the air. She hadn't left you a choice back then, she had decided for you. You wouldn't let her do that again, and she knew it.

"I'm sorry. We lost so much time together." She whispered softly, and you pulled her closer into your embrace. You placed a soft kiss on her head.

"We'll make up for it."

Tracy Chapman and Luke Combs performing Fast Car at the Grammys

Secrets and Candor

Chapter 2 : Emerging Love

Pairing: Laindrin Sedai x Reader

Word Count: about 1400

Warning: none, really

Summary: You're helping Laindrin's son and realise some things Chapter 3

(Also made a playlist for Liandrin)

A/n: Hope you liked the first Chapter, here's the second one. There'll be one more!!

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You were in the middle of getting dressed when someone knocked. You turned to the door and bid her in. Liandrin hesitantly stepped in, it nearly seemed like she was unsure of herself. Of how to act.

"Could you help me? I'll just need the corset tied and then I'm ready." You asked and turned your back to her. You heard her slowly approach and without a word she tied your corset and stepped back again.

When you turned around you looked at her properly. She was in her usual red attire, red dress with a dark corset. Her lipstick was darker than usual, her hair even stricter than other days. It felt harder, like a defence mechanism, to hide vulnerability and seem stronger.

"Lead the way." You gently said and smiled, as you realised that she didn't move a bit and just stared at you. Your words seemed to have pulled her back to reality, her features hardened, her eyes grew colder and she turned to leave the room. You followed.

You walked in complete silence. Liandrin walked fast and didn't once turn to look for you. It felt like she wanted you to loose her, but you kept up with her and never lost sight of her.

The streets were still empty, most shops were still closed and little people seemed to even be awake. It was apparent why Liandrin had chosen this time to visit her son.

Just around the corner of her sons room she stopped walking so abruptly you nearly walked right into her. She turned around sharply and stared at you. Her eyes were threatening you more than words ever could have and yet you saw fear in them. She still didn't really trust you.

"It's okay, Liandrin. I know." You simply said and nodded slightly. And it was the truth, you knew her fear and her vulnerabilities but also all the threats on the tip of her tongue, all the insults and the rage.

You slowly pushed past her and approached the door. Just as you wanted to open the door she was next to you and slapped your hand away from the door handle. You looked up at her surprised.

Wordless she opened the door and entered first. It was incredibly fascinating to see her whole demeanour shift. Her features softened, her whole body sank a little. She looked less proud, less cold.

She approached the bed and gently sat down on the side of it, just like she had the first time you had seen her here. She took her sons hand in hers and stroked it.

"Hello, my love. Wake up, my darling. I'm sorry I didn't come for so long. I brought someone with me. She wants to help you, ease the pain a bit. I'm so sorry I didn't do this before, I didn't want to leave you in pain. I'm sorry." Her voice cracked slightly at the last words, you didn't comment on it. You didn't say anything, just patiently waited by the door. Her gentleness and tender care for him amazed you, never before had to seen this side of her.

She stood up and came over to you. She stood beside you but didn't look at you.

"Be quick about it." She said, voice harder again. But by far not as cold as usual. You nodded and stepped to the bed. His hand was spasming again and you wished to reach for it, but didn't dare to. Afraid that Liandrin would immediately throw you out.

You closed your eyes and reached out, your hands hanging in the air above him. You concentrated and felt the source, felt the power run through you, felt the weaves building around you. You opened your eyes again and watched the weaves weave around the man and do their work. You concentrated them mostly on his heart, because that was where he had the most pain.

It only took a couple of minutes and as you were finished the effect was immediately apparent. He relaxed into the bed and his hand stopped spasming. His features stoftened. You turned to look at Liandrin, smiling gently. You opened your mouth to say something, but she was faster.

"Leave." Her tone was hard, cold. But her eyes were fixated on her son. You wanted to stay, be there for her. Something inside you screamed at you to talk back. Everything in you felt a need to comfort her, be close to her. You nodded and left her alone with her son.

Without ever talking about it a routine had settled. Every week, the same day, the same time -always at dawn- she came to your room and together you visited her son. She never left you alone with him, always observing you, looking over your shoulder like she feared you'd hurt him if did ad much as blink.

You would ease his pain and the second you were finished she would throw you out. Though week by week, she let you stay a little longer. Not much, just mere seconds, but she seemed to accept your presence more and more. Her son seemed much more relaxed and, though you didn't know for sure, you were sure Liandrin did as well.

Week after week you observed more and more of her time alone with her son. Where she had sent you out immediately the first time, she send you out when she had already approached the bed in later weeks. Though always with the same hard and icy tone. Out of her mouth it almost sounded like you had insulted her, not helped her.

You had finished weaving and Liandrin approached the bed, she gently sat down again and leaned closer to her son, taking his hand. She hadn't ordered you to leave yet, so you took that opportunity and stayed. Silently standing next to the bed.

"My darling..." She whispered and smiled. You weren't sure if you had ever seen her genuinely smile. It immediately made you smile as well, your heart fluttering. You realised you always wanted to make her smile. You wanted to be the reason for her happiness. As the realisation settled in your mind, Liandrin looked up and scoffed.

"Why are you still standing there? Haven't you learned by now to leave?" She nearly spit the words out. You were pulled out of your thoughts and opened your mouth to say something but thought better of it. You turned on your heel and left.

The next week, everything went by as usual. Liandrin was outside your room at dawn, you walked in silence, she entered the room and talked to her son very quickly. You channelled to ease his pain and stepped back as you were finished. She sat down on the bed and took his hand. You turned to leave, not wanting to upset her again like the week before. But before you could leave the room she spoke up.

"Stay." You felt a spark inside of you and tried to hide a smile. Slowly you turned around again and looked at her patiently for an explanation. Her eyes were fixated on her son, and she didn't look up even as she spoke.

"Why? Why do you do this?" The question surprised you. You could hear that she had tried to sound like her usual confident and icy self but failed miserably. Her voice was thinner than usual and she sounded vulnerable. You wanted to step closer again but she ordered you to stay back. Her voice having regained some of its coldness. So you stayed back.

"Liandrin, I'm part of the yellow ajah for a reason. I have always wanted to be a healer, help people..." you wanted to hide the actual reason you were doing this. The reason that had always been there since the beginning but had just grown over the weeks. But Liandrin interrupted you sharply.

"Cut the shit. Why do you do this?" Her voice cut sharply through the previous gentleness. You sighed.

"I'm not sure you're ready for that conversation." Was your simple answer, and it actually made her look up. Her eyes widened and she looked nearly offended. No one ever dared to talk to her like that. You could see she wanted to say something but you didn't give her a chance. You left without another word. She looked after you and kept her eyes on the empty spot where you had stood just mere seconds ago for quiet some time after you had left. Her eyes filled with deep betrayal.

Outside the building you leaned against a wall and took a deep, shaky breath. It was a dangerous game the two of you were playing.

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