Soooo Single Yet Again. Those Couple Of Posts I Made In The Past About My So Called Boyfriend. The Posts

Soooo single yet again. Those couple of posts I made in the past about my so called boyfriend. The posts about how I felt so happy and I thought he was the one. Posting pics of the dinner he took me to. Only to end up breaking up today. I had to call it off because he showed me a side I did not appreciate. He turned out to be on the narcissistic spectrum. He has this huge problem with wanting to be right about everything! And if you disagree with him, he gets so mad he starts arguments then would ghost me until I came to him with the apology or find words that would squash the beef and to him it sounded like I was taking accountability for the argument/disagreement. One time he literally told me I wasn't allowed to have an additional input/thoughts/ideas on one topic we got into about what's the right thing to do if a someone with a gun comes to a school. Would you run away from the school when you think the coast is clear, or would you do what the school tells you to do and hide in the classroom and lock the door and turn out the light. I said I would run with my class if I saw the coast was clear. (I had two jobs that showed us tapes about safety if we were ever ambushed by a shooter. And it did say to run and then call for help.) But then I try to say "I see things from the schools prospective too, because what if something went wrong when your running with a classroom of kids....." until he cut me off and raised his voice at me and told me " No! You can't do that! You can't say you agree with me, but then try to side with the school.....etc etc" and we didn't speak for a day and a half because of that. To me that was a big red flag, this is coming from a guy who called his own friends stupid!!!!! So that told me that he enjoys vibrating on a SEVERELY LOW FREQUENCY. He prefers to hang out with people just the same because if he feels like he can be smarter than the people surrounding him in a room, then he feels superior. He watches certain shows he can learn from "like how planes and bombs are made" and shows about hospitals and surgery just so he can sound superior when he brings it up at a house party/get together. But the millisecond you try to simply add onto the conversation, to keep it going, he calls it "being argumentative"...🙄😑 so today I ended it completely with him. I can't be anyone's emotional punching bag, or for a male to make me feel like I'm I'm stupid, or crazy, or I'm not recalling pieces of information correctly. And when an argument does start then "it's me who always wants to be right all the time" this guy was literally draining me of all my positive energy. I have to protect my energy right?

Something new and fresh for me. My new guy decided to surprise me with a beautiful wonderful date at a fancy schmancy restaurant. Like real high end, pricey. And honestly speaking it's my 1st time being treated like a princess and a guy doesn't settle for a family diner like Denny's, or chili's or millers ale house....it was the sweetest romantic thing and they dimmed the lights as the place came closer to closing time. Then at the end of the date he dropped me off and we chatted on the phone for hours, and he confessed how he felt towards me and it was so heart jerking. 🥹❤️‍🔥💖💯 for once someone wants to take me seriously and treat me right. And I can't get over it. But I know I would NEVER ruin this relationship! 🥰😍😋

Precisely the kinds of posts I need to be seeing right now. This is why I love tumbler so much!

“Saying yes to happiness means learning to say no to the people and things that stress you out.”

— Unknown

I know I'm mature as hell. It took a lot in me to dump my guy today. But I know it was meant for the best, because I will NOT put a male over the most high God. A male who didn't even want to believe in the high power. I have morals, self respect my value and worth. I know when to throw in the white towel.

“Maturity is learning to walk away from people and situations that threaten your peace of mind, self-respect, values, morals and self worth.”

— Unknown

Now whenever I watched romance movies I used to feel sad because it would be a scene where the man would realize he was indeed in love with the woman of choice and think to himself that he is willing to change for her. I envied that a bit that would explain why I felt sadness deep inside. It triggered me to think about my past relationships and wonder why I was never looked at like that when I did my job, I did everything right. I cooked, cleaned, understood when he needed to have a "night out with the boys", offered plenty of shoulder and back massages, ironed his clothes, just literally everything you seen in a 50s housewife I did that. And yet I was cheated on time and time again. Manipulated and used in every way possible.

But this time.....this time it's something different. This time I'm the girl in the movie who has a man that actually wants to change for her. It feels good for once to be that women I envied in the movies. It makes me feel wanted, worthy, loved, cherished. Etc etc all the good vibes.

There was a couple of concerns I had with my guy. And after bringing them to his attention and coming close to a breakup, it's like over night he changed and made Hella improvements. I told him I noticed the improvements and it meant a lot to me. The movies I used to call entertainment fairy tales are finally coming true for me. And it feels so strange to be honest. The scenes of the women becoming wives in these fairytales, is now going to be me. 🥰 the love Is definitely real and seeing it 1st hand is uplifting me every day.

Diary entry #2 complete.

It NEVER CEASES to amaze me that whenever I'm feeling sad about something, and I'm just scrolling through a social media app, I ALWAYS see posts that's in alignment with how I'm feeling and it's message is uplifting.☺️