Narcissisticabuserecovery - Tumblr Posts
Soooo single yet again. Those couple of posts I made in the past about my so called boyfriend. The posts about how I felt so happy and I thought he was the one. Posting pics of the dinner he took me to. Only to end up breaking up today. I had to call it off because he showed me a side I did not appreciate. He turned out to be on the narcissistic spectrum. He has this huge problem with wanting to be right about everything! And if you disagree with him, he gets so mad he starts arguments then would ghost me until I came to him with the apology or find words that would squash the beef and to him it sounded like I was taking accountability for the argument/disagreement. One time he literally told me I wasn't allowed to have an additional input/thoughts/ideas on one topic we got into about what's the right thing to do if a someone with a gun comes to a school. Would you run away from the school when you think the coast is clear, or would you do what the school tells you to do and hide in the classroom and lock the door and turn out the light. I said I would run with my class if I saw the coast was clear. (I had two jobs that showed us tapes about safety if we were ever ambushed by a shooter. And it did say to run and then call for help.) But then I try to say "I see things from the schools prospective too, because what if something went wrong when your running with a classroom of kids....." until he cut me off and raised his voice at me and told me " No! You can't do that! You can't say you agree with me, but then try to side with the school.....etc etc" and we didn't speak for a day and a half because of that. To me that was a big red flag, this is coming from a guy who called his own friends stupid!!!!! So that told me that he enjoys vibrating on a SEVERELY LOW FREQUENCY. He prefers to hang out with people just the same because if he feels like he can be smarter than the people surrounding him in a room, then he feels superior. He watches certain shows he can learn from "like how planes and bombs are made" and shows about hospitals and surgery just so he can sound superior when he brings it up at a house party/get together. But the millisecond you try to simply add onto the conversation, to keep it going, he calls it "being argumentative"...🙄😑 so today I ended it completely with him. I can't be anyone's emotional punching bag, or for a male to make me feel like I'm I'm stupid, or crazy, or I'm not recalling pieces of information correctly. And when an argument does start then "it's me who always wants to be right all the time" this guy was literally draining me of all my positive energy. I have to protect my energy right?
We are responsible for our choices.
But we also need to acknowledge the realistic limitations of our options. That's not an excuse. That's reality.
Maybe we can ease up on ourselves for going with the less shitty of the shittiest choices we had.
And this is for the survivors not for the abusers to make excuses for their actions when they clearly knew better!!