But Take Heart. Look Around You. Youre Not In This Fight Alone. Commander ShepardBeen Doing This Piece

“But take heart. Look around you. You’re not in this fight alone.” – Commander Shepard Been doing this piece quite some time now ‘cause wanted to fit all my peeps in one picture. I just love Mass Effect. Selene Shepard & art © me Mass Effect by Bioware, do not copy

revanasi nation i love you.

Revan choosing the light because of love: Broke. Revan choosing the light because Mission needs a reliable parental figure: Woke. 

My suggestion for the KOTOR remake is that the more Carth hangs out with Revan, the more grey hairs his model will have.

[My Ko-Fi] [Patreon] [RedBubble]

I wrote a drabble because I'm going through something.

I took dialogue liberties.

KOTOR spoilers.

Carth x Revan

Brenwen loved the Ebon Hawk.

Just not so much when she needed privacy.

Between Sir Talks-A-Lot-Get-To-The-Point, Not Kid, Angry Carpet, and the Groupie it was a fraught and perilous journey to the female appointed cabin. Luckily, and to the betterment of her growing temper, Mission was busy attempting to teach Zaalbar Pizaak. That meant the chamber would be empty.

Using the stealth belt was a bit of an overkill, but it was enough to bypass the force sensitives of the group. Bless the little droid for silently following her movement with a swivel of its head, their attention returning to whatever droids did with downtime. Mando hardly glanced up while Murderbot toyed with his new rifle. Luckily Preachy wouldn't bother her with more... preaching. But in that lay half the problem. Bastilla was with Malak now- the bond they shared sensitive enough to know she was still alive. Just not where.

Leaving Brenwen alone with life-altering questions.

Revan.

The name alone drifted through her thoughts with sludge, slowing and twisting everything around it. How could that evil creature be her? She didn't have their memories. Did Brenwen even have her own? Brenwen tried to be good. Tried to placate the anger that pushed at the fringes of her mind. Tried to resolve the sadness that gripped her heart. Tried to subdue the guilt that weighed her shoulders.

Flyboy must hate her.

Unintended, but it was another betrayal. He told her so, accused her of horrible things. But Carth wasn't out of line doing so; a part of her had done those things. That must be the reason for his taut expression. Not her extended silence or cold demeanor.

Listening to Jolee was foolish. Allowing herself to the thought of even loving someone was... asinine. The Jedi wisely spoke against this kind of love. She felt shattered as the banter and off-handed quips suddenly stalled, revealing her attachment. It was hollowing, that space threatening to fill with despair. Brenwen couldn't allow grief as it paired with the anger that simmered just beneath the surface of her control. She wasn't proud of how her control had slipped over the past weeks. Blaming the sith influence of Korriban would only let her resolve fall further.

Forcing the blaster door to seal behind her, she attempted to meditate.

Slow breathing only amounted to further irritation as her mind proved unyielding. She was returning to a deep-set sadness within her soul—loss tearing at her heart with a disturbing physicality.

The door thumped, but still she pushed.

Eventually, the blaster door screeched open, but at this point the guise of a meditative stance was spiteful.

"Brenwen, is-" the husy voice stopped.

Now Brewnwen was committed, retaining her balanced levitation from the ground.

While functionally blind, the subtle scent of ambergris mixed with oiled leather and metal filled the room. Baiting her eyes to open, to take in the man awkwardly posing in the entryway. Instead, a cold emptiness caught her first. She had a retort: Lost? Or just hoping to get a peek? I could help with both. He would have laughed, blushed even.

Carth settled in front of her with a hearty crack of his knees, "if you're ready to talk, then... so am I."

She didn't focus long on how peculiarly heavy the hollowness in her chest grew.

"I tried to hate you. I tried... I wanted to hold you responsible for all the things you've done. For my...my wife, Telos... for Dustil," his head shook, holding back a tone that was anything but sincere. But what was he meant to do when this woman remained focused on blocking him out? Could she hear him? Still, he pushed, "but I can't. I got the revenge I wanted when Saul died, but it hasn't brought me the peace I thought it would."

"Bren-," Carth's husky timbre reached a softness unfamiliar to them both. A calloused thumb ran over her knuckles, bringing her back to the ground. To her eyes opening, soon followed the unconscious recoil on Brenwen's part, disconnecting them, "I'd understand if you're angry. I accused you of some... unfair things in front of the crew. I was so blinded by my anger that I failed to think of the shock you were going through."

"You always were a little moody," it wasn't Bren's whole heart behind the teasing, but he would take it.

"You got me. But you didn't make it easy to talk." Avoiding him, suddenly not taking him along on missions. It was frustrating trying to get an edge on her. Especially when everyone else counseled giving her space while she infiltrated the sith, not that he needed it, he could tell something was wrong by her chilly demeanor. Forcing her to visit the academy the first time to 'rescue' his son had done enough damage. Requiring them to obtain the Star Map on a separate trip. Fate was cruel to make her return after learning what she was.

An intense flash of anger narrowed her pupils, but her tone came out at a controlled neutral, "I wasn't going to push you, Carth."

"That's- that's not the obnoxiously persistent woman I know," he retorted. Not so controlled.

"Because you weren't whinging about some trust issue I had nothing to do with," she replied harshly, "I had absolutely nothing to do with Telos. Revan or otherwise."

"I know," he replied honestly, this time taking her hand without a sudden recoil, "All I can think of now is the promise that I made to protect you from what's going to come. It's given me a reason to look past... everything. Despite whatever part of Revan is inside you, the... the darkness that must surely be there, it isn't who you are. That's why I can't hate you. You don't have to be Revan."

"I'm not that monster! I'm not Revan," for as angry as the Jedi liked to act, it sounded like a plea.

"You can be so much more. Whatever the Jedi did to you, they gave you that chance. You have this huge destiny waiting for you, and I just fear that if you're alone, it could swallow you whole," Carth stumbled, redness pushing at the tips of his cheeks, "I mean, is there room in there for me? Will you let me help you?"

"I don't want you hurt protecting me," she looked down, meekly attempting to pull away from him, "Carth, if I-"

"I think I would be hurt worse if I didn't try," he urged solemnly, "whatever's happened up to this point, there's going to come a time very soon where you're going to have to make a choice. And there won't be any turning back. I want you to make the right choice. I want to give you a reason to."

"Are you calling me a child, Flyboy?"

"I wouldn't dream of it, but-" his jovial tone faded, back into a softer monologue, "you gave me a future. I want to give you a future too...with me."

Brenwen didn't have a response; this entire conversation she had imagined going in a completely different direction. She had catastrophized that they were done, over- no more flirting or indomitable giddiness with his attention. It was a fair boundary to have, considering what she was.

"Really?"

Enough of her disbelief came through that he pulled her into him tightly, just holding her there. He was shaking, and she was shaking; they were a matching pair.

Carth broke the silence again, "I think I could love you, if you give me the chance."

Brenwen grinned foolishly. If they were going to do this whole confession thing, she wanted to test something first. Boldly she pushed back the tendrils of hair that always fell away from the rest of its brethren; withdrawing her hand, they followed it back. Letting her hand rest on his chest, she decided on trusting him back, "I think I could love you too."