I Felt That Review On So Many Levels, The Accuracy Of It All

I felt that review on so many levels, the accuracy of it all 😔😔😔😔😔

stuff i liked about bullet train (2022)

a semi-exhaustive list of my thoughts when watching the movie in the theater and proceeding to freak out about it for more than a week straight

spoilers under the cut!

staying alive in multiple languages really scratches the itch in my brain

its so funky i cant stop thinking about it

THE TITLE CARD WAS SO PRETTY

AND THE CHARACTER INTRODUCTION SCREENCAPS WERE BEAUTIFUL IT LOOKED JUST LIKE A GAME

idk why but brad pitt actually looks like a ladybug in the movie

i cant place it but its just there in my mind

Bucket Hat Brad TM

the glasses were so cute

THE CITY WAS SO GOOD DAMN

THE NEON LIGHTS REFLECTING OFF THE RAIN PUDDLES WAS SO– *SCREAMS*

the truck that almost ran over ladybug in the first part was the same truck that lemon hit the prince with

from the moment i saw tangerine i knew everyone would be thirsting over him

i was right

BUT WHY DID HE LOOK LIKE A MONKEY WITH THAT BEARD THAT BOTHERS ME TO THIS DAY

the entire "17 kills" montage was so funky and fun i enjoyed every single second of it

@fatconut said they looked like a couple of youtubers streaming in this gif and i can't get it out of my head this is your fault

i saw on imdb beforehand that logan lerman was there and I MISSED THE FACT THAT LEMON PUT A PERCY STICKER ON HIS FOREHEAD

THAT WAS SO FUNNY

BUT AS A PJO FAN I WAS MAD AT MYSELF FOR NOT NOTICING IT AGH

lemon constantly infodumping and ranting about thomas the tank engine was something i related to on a spiritual level

that man is REALLY OBSESSED and i am here for it.

WHY IS THE PRINCE SO PRETTY LIKE I WAS SCREAMING AT HOW GOOD LOOKING SHE WAS

the schoolgirl outfit threw me off but she's committed to the aesthetic and i applaud her for that

the entire white death scene with him doing the revolver thing was so damn cool like oh my god

paired with the slo mo

im screaming

SO

CHANNING TATUM WAS RIGHT

ATJ LOOKED SO SO GOOD IN THIS MOVIE

like the scene where he gets off the train to confront the gang members as proof

and the camera was slowly spinning around

AND THE SLO MO??

i'm aroace but DAMN HE LOOKS SO FINE

it's so bonkers that everyone

and i mean EVERYONE

on the train is so good looking

like the wolf??? his outfit is so well planned

he has such a good sense of fashion

AND THE SCENE WHERE LADYBUG USES THE BRIEFCASE TO DEFLECT HIS ATTACKS

THE CHOREOGRAPHY WAS SO GOOD IN THIS MOVIE IT REALLY BLEW ME AWAY

on another hand, ladybug leaves a trail of dead bodies in his wake

and they were all mostly unintentional this is so funny to me

like imagine him going for a nice retreat in like hawaii or somewhere

and someone rats him out and it turns out to be one of the wolf's gang members or something

and then a coconut or pineapple just falls from above them and. clunks the bad guy in the head

it's not even intentional lmao

ladybug just wants to enjoy his life

he's so pissed over carver's stomach thing

let this man rest

tangerine definitely has anger issues

when ladybug kicked him off the train

"that door is closing" THE PUN

he's so committed and so pissed off at bucket hat brad

he literally screamed when he chased the train

AND THAT MAN HAD THE BALLS TO JUMP ON IT

no you don't understand he keeps surprising me every single time

my dad was sitting beside me in the cinema and he audibly exclaimed when tangerine cracked the window in like only 4 punches

that man is STRONG strong

THE FIJI WATER BOTTLE LMAO

WHEN LEMON WAS INTERROGATING THE PRINCE HE KEPT DRINKING THE SPIKED WATER

I WAS INTERNALLY YELLING FOR HIM TO STOP

the ladybug fight with the hornet was so fun

and it was kind of ridiculous how she died

but ladybug literally said "i got infected so you have to be infected too"

"i'm mansplaining again, sorry"

he knows his mistakes

ALSO. THE CINEMATOGRAPHY WAS SUPER CREATIVE HERE

LIKE

OKAY

THEY'RE NOT REVOLUTIONARY BUT ITS RARE TO SEE SOMETHING THAT FUN THESE DAYS

it's so funny to me how the elder uses his cane to pick up the briefcase and hand it to ladybug

either his knees and back are too weak since he's old (but he literally fought the white death with a sword so that's an unlikely reason)

or he's just into the wise old man aesthetic

i don't know

when the white death and his henchmen were waiting for the train at kyoto

the scene was so ominous oh my god

the fog

the music

the slow panning

it's such a strong contrast from the other stations

like the other stations were a bit plain and busy like a normal japanese subway

but the one in kyoto was entirely filled with fog and mist and you can't really see the ground and the land behind the white death

it was crazy

• RYAN REYNOLDS

all the plot points slot together so well

agatha christie would've loved this

the white death's wife was fridged in the most insane way possible

and her husband is super delusional

like dude

your wife died because of ryan reynolds and now you've hired multiple assassins to kill each other on a fast-moving bullet train

hollywood should really hire him to write their movies

this guy has some really good ideas

there's a snake in the toilet

THE FINAL FIGHT WAS SO INSANE

THE ELDER'S SWORD WAS SO SHARP IT LITERALLY CUT THROUGH THE SEATS AUGHDJGH

HOLDING OUT FOR A HERO BLASTING THROUGH THE CINEMA SPEAKERS AT FULL VOLUME REALLY SOLD IT

IT WAS SO GOOD I REALLY WANT TO WATCH IT AGAIN

I WAS SUPER HYPED

AND THE PART WHERE THE TRAIN HURTLES OUT OF CONTROL AND EVERYTHING WAS FLYING

YOU CAN TELL THEY SPENT SO MUCH TIME WITH THE CGI BECAUSE IT LOOKED SO GOOD

I WAS SUPER IMPRESSED BY THE FIGHT SCENES DAMN

unfortunately they've caused thousand of dollars yen in property damage

like honestly

who would pay for all this

(the elder, probably)

and then the white death was giving his entire speech

with the prince's gun

and i was like

OHOHOHO GO FASTER

TRY TO SHOOT LADYBUG

I DARE YOU

it was so satisfying when it backfired because he deserves it

BUT A CHUNK OF HIS HEAD LITERALLY GOT BLOWN OFF AND I WAS LIKE WOAH

THE LEMON/TANGERINGE REVENGE SCENE WAS SO SYMBOLIC BUT AT THE SAME TIME SO FUNNY

LIKE IMAGINE RUNNING OVER A GIRL WITH A MACHINE GUN WITH AN ORANGE TRUCK

Conclusion: i love this movie way too much and i don't plan on stopping soon

Liam: *gets into the tiniest of troubles*

Theo: *dragging him out* look i'm not gonna die for you *shields him with his body* i hate you by the way *almost dies for him* go fuck yourself *gives him heart eyes*

Liam: ???

Sorry but I saw this and...

(What's written on the image) (idk how to do this help)

Ladybug: Character ties their hair back/up and becomes very efficient. They could do anything. They could win an argument with God.

Tangerine: Character's hair is loose when it's normally contained and they are kind of feral. Nothing can stop them. They could win a fight with God.

(@dawn-the-rithmatist was the op I think)

On today's news: former Theo hater slowly descends into madness as they start shipping him and Liam. It's me, I'm the former Theo hater. Please help.

first day in lenora, mike pov (real)

[volume warning for headphone users!!]

Dunkirk as things my friends said:

*

Alex: don't try to frame me for horrible taste

*

Tommy: whoever said art is pain was RIGHT

*

Gibson: i thought there was glitter on the table but no it's bread crumbs

*

Alex: i know i said i was gonna sleep but i can't miss out on french slander

*

Shivering Soldier: the thought of responsabilities is making me sickity sick

*

Tommy: let my organs be free bro

Alex: no

Gibson: fly high organs

*

Farrier: no Collins the gender euphoria is now or never darling

*

Georges: i knew i would get karma from decapitating Pikachu then eating his severed head

*

Collins: you're a lizard, Farrier

Farrier: i wish

Farrier: just sleep under the sun all day and eat bugs until i get squished by a kid. The dream life.