WHY TG BOYS ARE SHIT BOYFRIENDS

WHY TG BOYS ARE SHIT BOYFRIENDS

I come up with the best topics for posts

Hide 🌞 : axe body spray, probably loves Kaneki more than you, has nicknamed your boobs, has also nicknamed Kaneki’s boobs

Shuu 💐 : introduces you to his entire extended family after less than a month, spams you if he hasn’t heard from you in a week, his house is so so big you will get lost in it very fast (not his fault but still annoying)

Suzuya 🔫 : thinks shoplifting 10 bags of candy is a good date idea, has killed someone in front of you and then desperately tried to explain why it was actually okay because the guy was wearing crocs

Marude 🏍 : refuses to use public transport after having his bike stolen, won’t stop talking about how much he misses his bike, yell-y

Shinohara 😊 : prints out minion memes and shows them to you

Nishiki 🦎 : is ginger, immediately wants to make out with you and have hot ghoul sex after eating a raw lung, easily irritated

Ayato (:re) 🤬 : doesn’t know what a period is and thinks you’re making it up, bullies people on roblox, can be so rude sometimes

Kaneki (pre aogiri) 🥺 : describes everything in incredible detail when he doesn’t like something, will make his best attempt to be talking to you all the time (even when you are pooping) and thinks you hate him if you ask to be left alone, scarily average dick

Kaneki (post aogiri) 🐙 : sleeps on top of you and makes you so sweaty, won’t shut up about fitness and getting stronger, wears a mask with a smile for hours at a time, probably ghosting you by this point tbh (there’s a lot wrong with him so I might make a separate post about why he sucks)

Yoshimura ☕️ : really wholesome, but can’t be dated because a) I’d assume you’re not a boomer b) can’t take hints and c) misses Ukina ;-;

Koma 👹 : he’s actually pretty great and very fun but he brags about how good his coffee is and also about anything else he can think of

Uta 🎭 : eats people’s eyes in front of you and says “it’s okay because they aren’t real, they’re halloween decorations!”, also ate a plastic spider to prove this to you, mind games, spooks you from behind the corner all the time and it gives you anxiety

Amon ✝️ : refuses to kiss with tongue or see you naked until marriage, takes up too much space on the bed, keeps doing long ass speeches about “doing what is right” after killing a guy with a wife and 3 kids

Shikorae 🫠 : doesn’t sit still long enough to have a conversation that makes any sense whatsoever, has so many issues to the point where idk if you’d even be able to befriend him unless it’s by feeding him coffee grounds

Takizawa (pre :re) 🥺: makes everything a competition, disney kid, insists that you have a glass of milk every day

Takizawa (post :re) 🦉: never sleeps, an actual cat, bites your hand, smelly, insists that you have a glass of milk every day

Urie 😶 : first name is “cookie”, punches a hole in the wall when he doesn’t get an award after a raid and someone else does, hides important stuff from you

Shirazu 🦈 : sooooo cool but he can’t spell so you have to edit all his emails for him

Naki 😎 : loud while playing fortnite battle royale, also screams while playing any horror games but insists he should keep playing them, his reading capabilities have the power to instantly kill a literature major

Hanbee 🎩 : unironically loves licorice, absurd fashion, also eats the licorice with a super fancy fork kept in a little fork bag he carries everywhere labeled “the licorice suitcase”

Tatara 🤯 : is always busy so you can’t spend much time together, one time a cat meowed at him and he meowed back in the most serious voice, penis is actually too big to fit inside 😔

Mutsuki 😇 (before the insane shit happened): you have to kill all the spiders, very clingy and has similar issues to pre-aogiri Kaneki, puts cinnamon on a lot of things that don’t really need cinnamon

Arima 🌨 : cold, you’ll never truly know about him, not very open, a general mystery to the point where you don’t even know if he’s actually your boyfriend

Haise 🐼 : BAD PUNS, insists that he spends every afternoon and evening with you instead of doing his work so he ends up doing it super late into the night and gets tired in the morning, too easy to manipulate and too eager to please (kind of an issue with all the Kanekis really), sometimes he talks to the wall or makes a sour face for no reason

~~~~ BONUS ~~~~

Yamori 🕺 : sadistic torturer (obvious part), his farts smell so incredibly bad that you have to evacuate the room while he wonders wtf is going on (not so obvious), unfixable

OS! Kaneki 😎 : walks around shirtless in winter, sometimes he doesn’t even wear pants, touches your boobs randomly and it gets old real fast

Okay, you know what? After reading this post, I jokingly said we should all just make a pact to reblog it five times a day forever. So I'm gonna do this louder for the people in the back:

AO3 WAS CREATED BY FANS, FOR FANS

AO3 IS RUN BY FANS (VOLUNTEERS, NO LESS)

AO3 IS PART OF THE NON-PROFIT, ORGANIZATION FOR TRANSFORMATIVE WORKS

AO3 IS NOT OWNED BY ANY COMPANIES AND DOES NOT EARN REVENUE

AO3 OPERATES ON DONATIONS FROM FANS

again:

AO3 WAS CREATED BY FANS, FOR FANS

i actually love nishiki we should talk more about nishiki

RIGHT??

In my maths class the other day, we got a little sidetracked and a boy was talking about how it’s inhumane to kill animals for food, and he loves bacon.

So i asked him if he knew what bacon was made from. Dead serious he replied to me “yeah i do. I’m not acoustic, dont worry.”

SHUT THE FUCK UP

Or in my english i was talking with another boy who was complaining about how the girls in our year were so stupid, so i counted saying that its not just or all the girls, then he looked me in the eyes and casually said “yeah, but most of our year are just r-“

AND DROPPED THE FUCKING R SLUR

“delululu” “what a narcissist” “i’m so ocd” “i let my intrusive thoughts win” “im an empath” “are you acoustic” “bpd girls 😍” “im so manic” “my trauma made me spicy and funny”

When you wanna group shift but none of your friends know what shifting is or don't shift.

Shifting culture is…

Please save my child who needs surgery because of the white phosphorus smell in the war on the Gaza Strip.

gofundme.com

Donate to Help me to continue living alive , organized by Motaz Aafan

Hello... I am Arwa Afana. I have been 25 years old, married and a mother of a child. I h… Motaz Aafan needs your support for Help me to cont