WHY TG BOYS ARE SHIT BOYFRIENDS

WHY TG BOYS ARE SHIT BOYFRIENDS

I come up with the best topics for posts

Hide 🌞 : axe body spray, probably loves Kaneki more than you, has nicknamed your boobs, has also nicknamed Kaneki’s boobs

Shuu 💐 : introduces you to his entire extended family after less than a month, spams you if he hasn’t heard from you in a week, his house is so so big you will get lost in it very fast (not his fault but still annoying)

Suzuya 🔫 : thinks shoplifting 10 bags of candy is a good date idea, has killed someone in front of you and then desperately tried to explain why it was actually okay because the guy was wearing crocs

Marude 🏍 : refuses to use public transport after having his bike stolen, won’t stop talking about how much he misses his bike, yell-y

Shinohara 😊 : prints out minion memes and shows them to you

Nishiki 🦎 : is ginger, immediately wants to make out with you and have hot ghoul sex after eating a raw lung, easily irritated

Ayato (:re) 🤬 : doesn’t know what a period is and thinks you’re making it up, bullies people on roblox, can be so rude sometimes

Kaneki (pre aogiri) 🥺 : describes everything in incredible detail when he doesn’t like something, will make his best attempt to be talking to you all the time (even when you are pooping) and thinks you hate him if you ask to be left alone, scarily average dick

Kaneki (post aogiri) 🐙 : sleeps on top of you and makes you so sweaty, won’t shut up about fitness and getting stronger, wears a mask with a smile for hours at a time, probably ghosting you by this point tbh (there’s a lot wrong with him so I might make a separate post about why he sucks)

Yoshimura ☕️ : really wholesome, but can’t be dated because a) I’d assume you’re not a boomer b) can’t take hints and c) misses Ukina ;-;

Koma 👹 : he’s actually pretty great and very fun but he brags about how good his coffee is and also about anything else he can think of

Uta 🎭 : eats people’s eyes in front of you and says “it’s okay because they aren’t real, they’re halloween decorations!”, also ate a plastic spider to prove this to you, mind games, spooks you from behind the corner all the time and it gives you anxiety

Amon ✝️ : refuses to kiss with tongue or see you naked until marriage, takes up too much space on the bed, keeps doing long ass speeches about “doing what is right” after killing a guy with a wife and 3 kids

Shikorae 🫠 : doesn’t sit still long enough to have a conversation that makes any sense whatsoever, has so many issues to the point where idk if you’d even be able to befriend him unless it’s by feeding him coffee grounds

Takizawa (pre :re) 🥺: makes everything a competition, disney kid, insists that you have a glass of milk every day

Takizawa (post :re) 🦉: never sleeps, an actual cat, bites your hand, smelly, insists that you have a glass of milk every day

Urie 😶 : first name is “cookie”, punches a hole in the wall when he doesn’t get an award after a raid and someone else does, hides important stuff from you

Shirazu 🦈 : sooooo cool but he can’t spell so you have to edit all his emails for him

Naki 😎 : loud while playing fortnite battle royale, also screams while playing any horror games but insists he should keep playing them, his reading capabilities have the power to instantly kill a literature major

Hanbee 🎩 : unironically loves licorice, absurd fashion, also eats the licorice with a super fancy fork kept in a little fork bag he carries everywhere labeled “the licorice suitcase”

Tatara 🤯 : is always busy so you can’t spend much time together, one time a cat meowed at him and he meowed back in the most serious voice, penis is actually too big to fit inside 😔

Mutsuki 😇 (before the insane shit happened): you have to kill all the spiders, very clingy and has similar issues to pre-aogiri Kaneki, puts cinnamon on a lot of things that don’t really need cinnamon

Arima 🌨 : cold, you’ll never truly know about him, not very open, a general mystery to the point where you don’t even know if he’s actually your boyfriend

Haise 🐼 : BAD PUNS, insists that he spends every afternoon and evening with you instead of doing his work so he ends up doing it super late into the night and gets tired in the morning, too easy to manipulate and too eager to please (kind of an issue with all the Kanekis really), sometimes he talks to the wall or makes a sour face for no reason

~~~~ BONUS ~~~~

Yamori 🕺 : sadistic torturer (obvious part), his farts smell so incredibly bad that you have to evacuate the room while he wonders wtf is going on (not so obvious), unfixable

OS! Kaneki 😎 : walks around shirtless in winter, sometimes he doesn’t even wear pants, touches your boobs randomly and it gets old real fast

Lil art dump:

my Latin work but i was proud and wanted to share :)

(spent 5 hours on a supposed-to-be-30mins piece :D)

Shinoa: Okay team, how do we deal with demonic possession?

Yoichi: Befriend the demon!

Yuuichirou: Overpower the demon!

Mitsuba: Don’t get possessed in the first place!

Kimizuki: Kill yourself.

Fic request + Chatfic/Red update!!

So, if you're read my AO3 posts you may be familiar with the Karasuno Chatfic. (If not, it's an enjoyable read - i was so insanely sleep deprived whilst writing it's hilarious)

It will be a three part series (unless I'm persuaded for more (i am very easily persuaded)), that chatfic, Red ( a super angsty non-chatfic sequel about Tsukki WHICH I AM WRITINNG I SWEAR) and then that next chatfic. 

So, down to business. If you want to put through a request for that chatfic of one of the options listed below, message me! (you can comment on the posts but Tumblr messages will be much easier for me)

Character display name/name changes

Scenes/character interactions

Entire chapters/chapter briefs (i don't have many ideas and I want it to be longish)

Idk just requests lmao

I'm going to stick to Karasuno for now, and ofc super long elaborate ones may be hard for me to manage/might take longer, but I will try my best! And Red is still to be finished and posted so that may change up a fewww things (maybe idk)

Alsooo I break up from school in three weeks so I can spend hours a day cranking these out xD

REQUESTS CLOSE ON AUGUST 5TH!!!

Thanks :)))

WOAH?? THATS EPIC

Things that are stopping you from shifting:

literally fucking nothing get yo ass to a different reality now bitch <3

i be calling my s/o my wife and shit but like she’s not my wife yet but she is GOING to be my wife she just doesn’t know it yet. but I love her like she is my wife but tbh we aren’t even dating in that reality yet.