Oh The Feeling You Get When You Write A Long Post And "an Error Occurs" When You Go To Post It.(well

Oh the feeling you get when you write a long post and "an error occurs" when you go to post it.😤🙂(well wasn't meant for anyone to hear. Even though it meant alot for me and explained alot about the way I think and why I might be the way I am.)

People who get pleasure or happiness out of seeing or knowing someone else isn't doing well... just fuck you yo. I mean it.

Ever see jealousy in a person that you love?? It's a scary experience and realization of the fragility of the human heart. Even when the jealousy is subtle but still noticeable. It's screams loud! Like it is the worst site for me because I don't carry jealousy as strongly as others. We are all different and carry human weaknesses, but for me to see it in a family member, so much so, to the point it has you sitting and feeling perturbed and watching there helpless self raging at another person they claim to love???!!! Humans, WE ARE FRAGILE. In one way or another we are. But loving others is my true way. I just don't, of all I deal with, carry jealousy. It just does not exist in me anymore. As a child it did (in all of us I'm sure of it). But I don't know. We all fall short in many MANY different ways. I'm working on loving myself more. Most others lash out in person. We are all different. But I can't help thinking that if we all treated eachother the way we want to be treated, it would solve ALOT. But humans will NEVER adopt that very simple rule. I THINK, I DONT KNOW, but I think that's the MAIN reason we can't come to peace. I think if people loved people the way that they are, we wouldn't suffer as much as humans. I think that's why I am the way that I am. Ithink the people around me forced myself into myself to be a loner because I, something in me, sees that people are very VERY cruel. No matter how nice we are to them. Big human flaw, amongst many others.

I WILL NOT FAIL!

I hate soft water, it just...my hair is still wet bruh like wtf it's been hours. The soft water shit is ok whatever. but I don't fukn like it. I don't like the "im not dry yet" feeling on my skin. the fuck yo. Sorry had to vent. Hate that shit.

Society, our surroundings, people we grow up around(whether we believe it or not) will effect us. It makes us blame ourselves for shit that we can't change ( no matter what the fuck anyone says) the shit that happened around us. It effects people physically, mentally, just generally physiologically. We are organisms that adapt to and adopt our environments. We are multicellular organisms that are in fact products of our environment in some kind of way whether positive or negative or neutral. Some of these environments affect some more than others. We really believe that certain conditions are idiopathic but I truly believe things arise within us because of our environments and the individuals we came from; directly or indirectly, whether we believe it or not. This is an inevitable truth. We have the ability to change ourselves I truly believe it. But I know that when our environment has had an overwhelming impact on our lives from childhood, it affects a lot. The reason I say this is because childhood is when our brains are like sponges, therefore, when things happen when we are children it will in fact become a part of us in some way shape or form. Whether it's something that we do as individuals or something that we will see and specifically notice others doing. We only recognize it strongly because our mind subconsciously or either consciously remembers it. Whether we believe it or not. Simple example, some of us have habits of repeating when our parents did; even if the relationship between our parents and us were good or bad. Instinctively, at least for most of us, wants to fight against the bad and apply the good to our personal lives. But sometimes without even noticing it, we have the tendencies of both parents and our surroundings. We can and will in fact try to fight it and even deny it, but a lot of times things are displayed in our personalities that cannot be denied.