While Everyone Is Re-discovering That Nandor Is In Fact Still A Moron Of An Undead Warlord Who Takes

While everyone is re-discovering that Nandor is in fact still a moron of an undead warlord who takes what he wants and leaves devastation in his path (shocking), I'm gonna go against the grain and keep playing in my own little sandbox like the lil meta goblin I am.

Let's look back at Guillermo this season so far.

Guillermo is probably my favorite character and he's my blorbo and I would die for him but this episode really highlighted what his main moral failing is: he's the enabler who stands by when others get harmed.

He stood by as Nandor fucked with his resurrected ex-spouses and helped him plan his wedding to a brainwashed Marwa. When he did properly address how Nandor had been treating her, he only did it because it was now affecting him and his relationship. He never cared about Marwa, just like he doesn't care about any other human victims.

He didn't step in and end it when Laszlo & Nadja were pushing Colin as a child performer, even after saying he would be a good parental figure and keep him safe.

The money he stole and use to buy himself nice things was technically mostly earned by Colin. As soon as he stopped performing, the club started failing and the money stopped coming in. Sure, Guillermo probably used some of it to buy stuff for Colin too, but did he put anything aside? Maybe he did, we don't know. We sure know he bought himself nice designer clothes and an expensive-ass Rolex.

Don't get me wrong, what Nandor and Freddie did to him this episode was horrible and humiliating, I'm not excusing that. They're still fully at fault for how they betrayed him. But it did kind of come back to bite Guillermo in the ass - the way he never intervened when Nandor was using Marwa like a prop. If he'd stopped that in its tracks at the beginning, which I think he might've if he'd gotten involved any other time than just with the penis wish, a lot of bad shit could've been prevented.

He's always been like this, he looks the other way when the vampires do horrible shit, which does make him responsible just like how he's assisting with all the murders

The amount of people calling for Nandor's death, solely because of the Guillermo end of things, is fucking disturbing. Like people not even mentioning Marwa but calling for Guillermo to "put him down" (holy shit), zero jokes. The real life equivalent of the Guillermo part of this is a cheating plot, but actually less bad than that would be because of clones and good intentions. What the fuck is wrong with some of y'all.

man the simon the devious reveal retroactively makes this episode SO much funnier. nandor acting out how he wants to be fucked against his bar in front of this poor random human guy who absolutely didn't sign up for this? awful, gives me secondhand embarrassment for everyone involved. but on the other hand, SIMON THE DEVIOUS having to sit through nandor's pantomime of his sexual fantasies while having to act like this is a perfectly normal conversation to have, all so he can get his hands on a cursed hat made out of a witch's skin? 10/10 peak comedy. this man went through the most awkward however many days of his life and he signed up for that WILLINGLY. the dedication.

GOD JUST LET GUILLERMO BE FUCKING HAPPY FOR 2 MINUTES I HATE THIS SHOW

In the end, I don’t think that Nandor and Guillermo are endgame. I’m talking like season 6 shit. This episode I feel like really put in perspective all their fucked upness and they will return to the status quo because that’s what they always do but they’re never going to be together together. I think that at some point (season 5?) Nandor will realize his feelings for Guillermo (I’m in the camp of Guillermo already did last season) and then maybe in season 6 we’ll see the confession. 

But they won’t be in an actual relationship. They never could, it was never the right time, never the right dynamic. And that adds to Nandor’s tragedy. He wants, he needs, someone to spend the rest of his life with. Maybe that person could have been Guillermo, but not under these circumstances, and he’s gonna figure it out.