Being Immortal And Having DID Must Be Crazy. Yeah Our Boy Carlos Hasn't Fronted In 300 Years And Just

being immortal and having DID must be crazy. yeah our boy Carlos hasn't fronted in 300 years and just woke up to the sound of Uptown Funk and started screaming

•Fictional Introjects

What is a fictional introject?- "Introjects are alters that are based off of an outside person or figure. Introjects may or may not see themselves as the individual that they represent." (DIDresearch.org)

A fictional interject, or fictive, is a type of alter whose identity is based on that of a fictional character. In our system, we currently have 2 fictional interjects. (E and K) E is NOT an interject of any specific character, instead he is an interject of a fictional creature whose identity we are choosing to not disclose for the time being. K on the other hand IS an interject of a specific character from Bleach.

Unfortunately, we've been seeing a lot of harassment of fictives on the internet. People see them as a reason as to why system is faking and use this as an excuse to harass people. Fictives are recognized as a type of alter by medical professionals. There are many diagnosed systems, our system included, who have fictional interjects. Harassing introjects (or anyone for that matter) should never be done.

For this reason, and for our own privacy, we are choosing to keep E’s source identity from the public for the time being.Please be respectful of our boundaries and please refrain from trying to guess who they are or their sources in our comments. Thank you for understanding! -Pine

some people don't get introjects

shout out to alters who were abused by other headmates, your trauma is just as real and no less valid than anyone elses and you deserve to process and heal in whatever way you see fit and you are NOT at fault for what they did to you

My experience as a fictive:

Hello! This is K! I’m making this post to not only share my experience as a Fictive, but to share a little about who I am outside of my source identity. Please note that this is just MY experience. Do not use my experience to invalidate other introjects. 

 When I split- 

When I first split, our host Pine was afraid of me. She was afraid of how her friends, family, and therapist would react to my existence. She had already experienced accusations of faking illness as a child and was afraid of having it happen again. On top of that, having a new split, regardless of if they are a fictive or not, is a frightening experience. Not knowing who they are or if they are going to treat you kindly can be quite a shock to the system. It took a while for her to come to trust me, but with Phil’s help she eventually came around. 

My source identity- 

During the time when I split, Pine was dealing with a lot of flashbacks, as well as other stressors in her life. Because of this, Phil decided to buy the first few volumes of a manga she had expressed interest in reading. This manga was Bleach. Needless to say, she got very attached to reading it as a form of escapism. I believe that because this series was seen as a source of comfort during a very stressful time for the system, this caused my source identity to be based off of a character in Bleach. That character is Kisuke Urahara.

Source memories-

Many introject alters will have varying levels of false memories from their source. Thankfully I have very little. I would describe what source memories I do have like vague memories from a dream. It feels as if you woke up in the morning and you know you had a dream that night, but you can only remember vague ideas from it. It doesn't feel like you actually did the things you remember in real life but still you remember it. Because of this I have very little attachment to my source, nor do I miss it.

My source identity vs. Me now-

Of course I am still an introject so naturally there are still similarities between Urahara and myself. One Of those similarities is my appearance in the headspace. I look virtually identical to Urahara. The only difference is my sword. It is not the same one that he has. I also will admit that I do see quite a few similarities in personality between the character and I, however there are differences. As I continue to gain my own life experience I will continue to grow and change as a person separate from my source, just as anyone else would. 

Thank you for taking the time to read this! -k

My Experience As A Caretaker Alter:

Disclaimer: this is just my experience and what I personally do for our system. This is in no way how every caretaker alter does their job.

For me, my role in our system is primarily to help calm down the body, as well as making sure we don’t over spend our money, making sure we eat, shower, and brush our teeth, comfort alters when they have flashbacks, and help when alters age regress. I know that might seem like a lot, and at times it can be, but I genuinely love what I do. I love being able to help support my fellow system mates and I try to extend that care to friends outside of our system.

I take pride in my role and what I do for others. I love my system like I would a family, and in some ways we are a family. I know of course that there are times where things can feel overwhelming, that’s just the reality of living with mental illness. I try my best to take time for myself and to not over exert myself. It can be hard, even for me, to remember to do day to day things. Our A.D.H.D., which can cause executive dysfunction alongside many other factors, can make it difficult to get things done. Some days if all we can get done is eat, shower, and take our meds, then that’s all that matters. I would still consider that a successful day.

I hope that by sharing this it can give people more of an insight into what a caretaker's role could look like. Please remember though that this is just my experience and is in no way universal for all caretaker alters.

Same as always, thank you for reading! -Phil