Bracelets. May 2024
Bracelets. May 2024
More Posts from The89thangel
Do you pray?
I pray. I pray almost every night before falling asleep. It might be because of a custom. My grandma was a very religious woman (Christian), she educated my sister and me when we were children. We studied the bible daily, we prayed before lunch, and we went to congregation meetings twice a week. So, I get used to pray.
I´m not a religious person (indoctrination stopped when I grew up and I was able to choose for myself), I really don´t practice any religion, and I´m not sure if I believe in God. But praying is one of those things I keep doing.
Of course I have analyzed why I keep praying (overthinking, again). My theory up to now is that I pray as a way of meditation (was it not the origin of praying?), I use it to organize my thought, my desires and dreams. As a mean to examine what bothers me, my struggles, my concerns. For sure, I pray to ask for favors or in case of necessity. Although I still can´t figure out whom I pray to: my grandma´s God? The Ether? My own God? I guess I pray to whomever wants to listen… and hopefully wants to help as well.
In memory of Matilde Magdaleno, who showed me the bright and dark side of faith.
One year
So there´s this guy… You can say he´s my boyfriend, but that sounds a bit odd to me, so let´s call him “Petit Monsieur”.
A couple of days ago we celebrated one year of relationship, and I gave him a present: a book. I had been planning this gift for months. I found this book one day in June while I was wandering in a book shop with some friends. It was there, in the new release section. “Forbidden Plants” was the title and I immediately thought of him (who am I kidding? I´m always thinking of him <3) because he loves plants, and I knew it was a perfect gift.
Next, it was the book dedication. I wanted to say “I love you” but it sounded too plain. So, I took my time (I still had several weeks) to think on a better text... and I did, or at least I think I did. I ended with a letter rather than a few lines. I liked it, and I thought he would too. I wrote it in the first page of the book. I added a black origami kitten (I love cats).
The day came, and I gave him the book. I always overthink so I imagined hundred of different scenarios: what would I say, how he would react to the present, what he would say about the letter, kisses, words of love…
Of course, things didn´t happened as I would imagine, but it was pretty good. I was surprised he remembered the anniversary was near (he didn´t remember the exact day, but that’s how he is). The book didn´t impressed him that much, but he browsed the book and find the pictures and poems interesting. He skipped the first page, so I had to mention the letter… he said he would read it latter, alone. He didn´t know how he would react or that was the reason he gave me. It was OK, I guess.
It´s been four days since I gave him the book, I don´t know if he already read the letter, and if he did, what he thinks of it. Of course, I already overthought another hundred different scenarios: he didn´t like it, he thinks I´m pathetic, that I have poor writing skills, I made him cringe, or maybe he really loved it and doesn´t know how to react… Anyway, I guess waiting is the only thing I can do by now, right?
