A Baldur's Gate 3 Rant

tldr: woman is angry at a game and needed to scream and vent into the void. And this is cheaper than therapy.

TW: it's BG3, spoilers, and the game includes themes of abuse in all and every form. This post will be addressing some of those issues. I'm sorry if these matters are displeasing for you. Please bare this in mind going forward, especially with Astarion's part of the rant. I apologize in advance for any harmful emotions I bring up. I pray you are able to heal and continue to grow on your journey.

First off, I am not a gamer. I grew out of gaming back around 2020 since it no longer served as good or healthy escapism.

Most of the games I did play was stuff like Undertale, Skull girls, MK, Smash, Fnaf, and Overwatch. I have more titles under my gaming belt but these are just to name a few.

I am also not a DnD or Fantasy fan. I'm team sci-fi all the way. I just think magic is a cop out and used in lazy writing. Plus I can't play a game where the rules are basically whatever the dungeon master calls it. I need games with decent structure. Plus if I'm able to lift like 250, rolling a 3 shouldn't matter. It's like the will of the dice over rule your action and your stats don't matter.

So how the hell did I even get involved with this game? Youtube! The damn algorithm!

Every. Single. Recommend. Video. Short. Everything!

It was always the damn vampire. Only the vampire. I was almost convinced the game was just about him.

So, because I am a Fnaf fan that should tell you all that you need about my fascination and hyperfixation with gaming lore.

I blame MattPat!

So, I take a look into the game.

Immediately I'm hit with the Spider-Man vs BG3 drama. The absurd racism from some of the fans. The awful takes made about the game that was whole unjustified. And the very very concerning fixation on Astarion. This was all in January 2024.

Months later, the game is still popular. However I am beyond annoyed because the game sucks.

If you're a fan, that's fine. Honestly, it's the fans who drew me into the whole thing. You're a very talented lot who saw the wasted potential the game made. I'm pretty much became a fan of the Fandom. Until all the racism.

That being said, I'm going to be ripping into this game. I never played the game. I'm going off of clips, video essays, and posts that I've seen. I have also had to read some Fandom wiki to make sure I understood some story beats.

Lets get ready to rant!

First the game.

Is there a game? Seriously? Because if you're like me, a asexual who didn't want to romance anyone, what is there to do? I was expecting Diablo and I got some Otome game. Not to say that dating Sims can't be fun, but this feels so much like a dating sim. Almost everything relies on the relationships you make in the game. I just wanted to hack and slash, not.... kiss and miss?

I'm not clever, sue me.

And yes, I never played so how would I know? Almost all the posts I see about the game is about the companions. To me, it's like that's the only memorable parts. A good game should have memorable characters and game play. My example is undertale. It's a wonderful mix of memorable moments with the characters and great fights.

Also you can go on a date with the best boy of the game!

So if the focus of the game is made on the company of your party, how are they?

Bad. Their all bad.

Ok, that was a lie. The women are great, the men suck.

So let me begin with the most romanced character Shadow heart.

And it really shouldn't be a surprise why out of the 6 she's the most romanced. She actually has a story and while yes, all your choices impact the characters, she's the most believable character who would independently choose her path. Be it with Shar or Selune.

Plus she's the easiest to make a life with after the battle. Laezel needs to go to war. Karlach needs to go back to hell. Maybe you can make a life with one of the guys but why would you want to?

While everyone thinks Astarion was the writing room's favorite, it was actually Shadow heart. She has a clear cohesive story that doesn't feel cheap on either ending you get with her because it feels like despite your influence, her actions are hers. And I think it amounts to how the writers wrote her taking accountability of her actions in the clips I've seen. No complaints with this one. Sure, she's the embodiment "it's not a phase Mom!". But that's her charm and part of the reason why I like seeing her growth. 10/10 for me for the independence vibes into her own changes.

Now, Laezel was the second most romanced character and the second character with the best writing.

Another character with clear writing, clear motives, and a decent story.

She's also my personal favorite. Like, if I was isekaied into the game, we're besties. She'd probably hate me, but she would me my best friend.

Her story is ok, even if it's simple. It works.

I don't see much of how other's like her as a girlfriend. And I wouldn't know what her romance is like since I'm not playing the game. But she's a little emotional distant who warms up to you over time is the vibe I get. Which is much better than the vibes I get for Karlach.

I'd give her a 8/10 as a character and companion. Well crafted, but she leaves me wanting more.

Karlach is a 5.

Third romanced for a reason. Her crap story is what dooms her from the start.

She's a victim of the war and possibly a child soldier who's doomed to burn and die. Kinda hard to put your heart into someone who may not live to see if you can build a life together. Her death is certain and it's incredibly hard to see that for a woman so sweet.

All other companions get to be free but her. That sucks! She's pretty much in a doomed timeline. I feel awful for her as there's really no hope and a slim chance for getting better.

It's hard to romance someone with a constant bounty on her head.

Still would pick her over any of the guys any day. She's immature sure, but she's sweet. And if not a soldier, I could see her being that P.E. teacher everyone loves.

I could she her flourishing and thriving if she didn't have to deal with so much crap.

Her personality is a 8, smile is a 10, but she's a 5 because you will need to be constantly fighting to keep her safe. And even then, it feels like you can't.

She has the saddest story because unlike Astarion, she can't be free. There is no cannon event for her to have a proper mechanical heart like Tony Stark. So even if you some how free her from her devil, she's forever tied to hell. That's sad.

Now Wyll is a 4.

He's beautiful but he's morally corrupt. Which is why I couldn't nor could ever imagine romancing him.

Now, this poor man was dragged through the mud for no other reason than being a black man. I see this crap so much with fantasy/magic Fandoms. It's sad that in 2024 we can't have a black man in a video game. There's no justification to whitewash. Most of the critics I've seen of him has more to do with the critic than the actual problems with the character.

If you can't say what about the character gives you the ick, I'm questioning you.

Exactly what rubbed you the wrong way about him? And why can't you say it? There are valid reasons not to like a character. Even if it's just that you never connected with the character, that's OK too. But DnD does have a history with racism so it's sad to say that I shouldn't be surprised.

Wyll is a sweetheart. I love him to death. His romance is a breath of fresh air. I watched a compilation of his romance and I loved it. If he did that to me, I'd swoon. It was great to have someone who you could romance without sex. He is a true prince charming and easy to fall in love with.

However, I was upset when I found out he was a human turned devil and not a teifling. Again, I knew nothing about DnD when I was starting looking into this game. And nothing on his back story. I was smitten by his pretty face ok?

And once I looked into his back story, the image of the prince charming cracked. Instead, I'm left with a man child who wants to play hero.

Let me explain.

It's known that he was facing a evil cult and then panicked. He was a scared 17 year old, raised by the ideals of a lawfully good and just man. I could forgive him for making a deal with Mizora if he wasn't a literal duke's son.

Same situation but if Wyll was a commoner, or even as high class as a nobleman/ aristocrat's son, 100% understandable. He needs to save his people. It was the best he could do at the time.

But he's not a simple man. He is a duke's son. A person who would have had the means of military power. If not himself, he could have gone to a royal advisor and he could have lead a army.

This storyline is about as believable as BatMan. You know you messed up when Batman is more realistic than your character.

Ok, so let's go back to the start of his story. He was a scared kid and in his foolishness, made a deal to save his people. Noble. Good.

But then he served Mizora for 8 or so years. And for what? Powers that he doesn't use? He's the blade of frontiers. Man is a fighter, not a warlock.

And how many other innocent people has he killed because of Mizora? Someone made a really good point about his interaction with Karlach. You and Wyll see her burning, on the attack, and told she's evil not only by Mizora but from the knights.

You have no reason to really trust Karlach on her words alone. It's only through the tadpole that you are able to see her as the victim she is.

How many people has Wyll killed that were like Karlach? How much blood has he spilled thanks to his pact?

It's hard to like Wyll after noticing the hypocrisy. So much so that I can understand why people find him distasteful. (If only he was actually criticized for his actions)

He's not a good guy. He's lawful neutral. He's only good at playing the good guy. I say this as he really only cares about the glory of being a hero and nothing more. I don't blame his dad for disowning him. His dad fought and earned the right to be a Duke. Duke Ravengaurd was a man for the people, a true spirt of a guardian angel. Wyll looked up at him and sadly only saw the praise. I say this as his heart desires not the good of the people, but adventure and the tales of glory to boast about. All his interactions is about him gloating. If he's not gloating, he's playing the moral high ground.

Also, for a character that's so moral that quip to Astarion about the rat diet is out of line.

There's so many things you can make fun if Astarion for, why did you need to make fun of his abuse like that?

To me, Wyll is fools gold. Looks to be of great worth but is nothing more than a shimmering fake.

Because he didn't have to make the pact with Mizora. He chose to. He wasn't in a life or death situation. He didn't have to face the cultists with her alone. Throughout the game, Wyll is highly regarded in his city. You'll see this if he stays human. I find it very hard to believe he couldn't rally up some men to stage a coup, and kill off the cultists that way.

If that was his story, his dad could disown him for being rash, Wyll proves his worth being the blade of frontiers, and everything could still work the same.

Mizora ruins his story. Her addition doesn't feel genuine with the way Wyll is currently written.

Now how to fix that? Make Wyll power hungry. Have him be honest later in the game that he was blinded by the songs and praise such a deal could make. It would make it so much more satisfying for his story.

Unfortunately you are stuck with two characters that don't quite fit together that makes a emotional whiplash of a character.

Plus romance wise because someone mentioned this on reddit, Wyll will cry about being a devil but loves you for seeing more than his horns. But he cannot be seen with you if you become a squid man. That hurts.

Again, the good boy is not being a very good boy. His actions and words don't line up and I kinda hate him for it.

He's a 2 but his smile and charms makes those little red flags look green so he gets a 4.

Gale is a 2!

He may be handsome but, that literally cannot save him from my issues with him.

He is Neutral Good but left to his own devices would become Lawful Evil.

If Tav wasn't there, he'll gladly continue his toxic relationship with Mystra. He'd most definitely become a "god". And who knows what that would entail for a man with a dangerous ego.

But when Tav is there, to love him for who he is, to help him realize Mystra is awful and he can do so much better, he will still devote himself to a woman who will kill him.

Now Gale is a well written story of a male Harley Quinn. Someone so blinded by their love, they cannot see the torment.

I would also like to point out that she did indeed groom Gale. Anyone regardless of race, age, or gender can be groomed.

So whether they met when Gale was a teen or a young man, she groomed him.

Its scary how accurate they wrote someone who's been groomed. The way Gale justified her gaslighting and abuse is a very real response to how victims can't see there abusers as abusers.

But who is Gale if Mystra wasn't around him? He's still be a man who's love for magic causes him to become a wizard and his ambitious spirit is what makes him toxic. Because he needs to be the best. He cannot be humble. He does good things sure, but he can treat the one's closest to him like trash.

This man needs therapy and a class change.

I think this man's ego and self esteem relies too much on Mysta. My man is depressed and needs a hug.

He gets a 2 because while he's truly a 9, Tav cannot save him from his own destruction. And shame on Tara. She's his best friend but I don't see her trying to dissuade Gale from being with Mystra. And even if Gale heals, Tav will always be number 2. It's painful to be someone's rock only to be tossed aside.

It's a difficult romance that leaves you wondering, do you love me too?

Sorry, wrong photo.

GIVE IT UP FOR EVERYONE'S FAVORITE

✨️✨️⚜️ A S T A R I O N ⚜️✨️✨️

So....

I have very very mixed feelings about this character.

Firstly, Astarion is what you make of him.

You play a huge part in his discussions.

Like I know he's smoothed brain but still.

There is no Astarion. There is you.

You control his narrative.

That can be said of all the companions but it feels so much more with our dearest star.

There are two ways to play his character.

You fix him. Make it all better. Your love cures him. And he is grateful. He... is completely codependent.

Or, you can make him worse. Kill 7000 souls, doom them all, and prove him right. That he needed this to be safe all along.

I feel emotionally manipulated by the game devs on this character. Neither of these endings are healthy for him. The best ending is really being his friend and giving support. To show him people can be loving and care wholesome for another.

I feel emotionally manipulated because I don't believe his character nor the themes of abuse where properly used in the game or by the marketing team.

Looking at that onlyfans video Larian!

Similar to Angel dust from hazbin hotel, he's over sexulized. However, in Hazbin Hotel the characters fight against the exploitation of Angel where as it seems only Tav cares to treat Astarion other than a piece of meat.

Even then, with a character who LITERALLY GETS UPSET WITH HIMSELF if Tav wants to have sex with other people, there is no way to romance him without sex.

Like Wyll, there should be a path to allow the player to have a deep romance with him without sex.

It really breaks my heart seeing people over sexulize him or even ship him with Cazador.

This man has been through enough. He was pimped out by his master. Cazador sex trafficked Astarion. That's not a theory! That's a fact!

This man has been traumatized. He's fighting for his life out here and all he can do is think about ascending to finally be safe. To never have to worry. Something a lot of victims, me too, have wanted.

It's cathartic watching him kill Cazador. Many of our own Cazadors are still walking out there when they should be in jail.

This is the part of Astarion that Cazador made.

Cazador made him a scared wounded man who's reduced to his sexuality.

But he's so much more than that.

Prior to Cazador, he was a judge. So we at least know he was smart, wise, and/or trusted enough to be awared such a position. Astarion's also dead so that smooth brain may have more to do with the decomposition or trauma. Trauma changes your brain chemistry so much so we're able to map it on brain scans.

But one thing that people overlook is that he's always been lawful evil.

He was feeding guilty defendents to the Szarr family. This was supposedly a secret between him and the family from what I've read about the early game access. But either way, you don't get chummy with a vampire if not for nefarious reasons.

There's no explanation as to why this occurred. No potential political gain or even a mention of somehow of a relationship with Astarion and the Szarr family. Or even between Cazador and Astarion.

It's kinda obvious that Cazador planned on the attack. We're missing a lot of details as to why Cazador was targeting him. Because what vampire lord is just going to be conveniently walking past a dying man in the middle of nowhere?

Some one here on tumblr said it best. "He's an abuser who found a worse abuser."

He abused his power as a judge. Anyone he sent to Cazador could have been part of the 7000 souls used in the ritual. Anyone he sent faced the same abuse he faced later on the line.

Now, when we are wronged, we want revenge. And if you believe in karma. This very well could have been his karma for sending potential victims to Cazador that he would later use as sex traffic spawn. It's messed up. This is a very messed up back story.

But what truly bothers me is his lack of agency.

If Tav isn't guiding him one way or another, he kinda has to leave your party. There is no way around it. You either have to fix him and make him all better or turn him into an abusive husband. Both of these are wrong.

I have a problem with the "I can fix him", "beauty and the beast", "he's just misunderstood", or "bad boy with a heart of gold" tropes seen countless times in media. YOU CANNOT FIX SOMEONE. THEY ARE A PERSON! NOT A MACHINE!

Astarion needs a loving caring friend first and a lover later. I find the the above tropes vile and concerning because

A. It's always gendered. The female love intrest is held responsible and to the extent of responsibility a parent has over a child for the emotional well being of their male love interest.

B. It's dehumanizing to the male love interest as it perpetuates the idea that only a good woman can fix him. That he needs to be codependent in order to get better. To be better. To heal.

C. While this can be done regardless of the gender of "The broken" and "The Mechanic", to know or find out you're just a project to someone hurts. It breaks the love and trust between them as the mechanic never loved them in the first place. You do not try to make your partner a better person, you try to support them and give your advice. Trusting partners will consider each other's words. Controlling partners will insist they know what's best for the both of them.

Astarion is not going to change any time soon.

He will never be the sweet kind boy you want him to be. He's honest about this and you should listen.

He's a lovable ass and that's all he really cares to be.

Let him be. Let him grow in his own time. If he even does. I do see hope but again, this guy has been trying to win your favor. Who's to say he's above playing hero?

That being said, giving him what he wants kills him again. He is no longer the man you know.

When he ascends, as his master and his master before, it will only continue the cycle of abuse.

He says it so clearly when you break up with him. That he'll use up your love until you are nothing.

Nothing.

No one who loves someone, even in a twisted sense would want them to turn into nothing.

That being said, I feel bad for the Acended Astarion fans but this is a great example of what it's like to be in a abusive relationship. You're love bombed one minute and scared the next. You're now the spawn made to be consumed. And I agree 100% that the whole turning sequence falls in line with a vampire bride. That is your husband. And I am so sorry.

Everyone called out the kisses for being disturbing. They are. And they have every right to be. You fell in love with the monster you made. And you made him. He used your eyes to carve Cazador. He couldn't do it without you.

So, does this mean it's your fault? Are you to be punished for loving someone dearly?

See, this is my most horrific problem with this romance because you are held responsible for Astarion's well being. The blame is put on Tav. Not Astarion!

He tricked you, seduced you, said everything he could to gain your trust. And this is how your repaid? By being in a toxic relationship?

And the Devs answer to the back lash? Honestly, I can't find anything. Alot of people were upset. And to be fair, for months people role-playing as a evil but endearing to each other couple. Those kisses ruined the Mortica Gomez vibe and replaced it with domestic violence.

THAT 🐶 IS SMILING SLAPPING YOUR FACE!

SMUG MUG!

He likes the fear and control he has over you. And he was always like this. You just didn't catch on.

He repeats Cazadors rules.

He'll tell you till you drop, you're his equal.

But you are his property.

You were always meant to be a tool for Astarion.

Either to heal him or to be used by him.

Listen, I wasn't above his charm. When I first saw him I honestly was put off because he remined me of Prince charming from Shrek. But that didn't quite felt like the right character until I saw the comparison to Preminger. And that explains why when I first saw him, he scared me. Prince charming and Preminger have always scared me because they both kinda give a rapist vibe.

And to be quite honest, Astarion did kinda assult Sebastion. He got that poor man so drunk, kissed his with questionable consent, and then killed him through Cazador.

Because you can mold Astarion into the mold you want, it's easy to mold him into a redeemable character.

I know when I see him sad, my first thought is to comfort him because of all his trauma.

But he traumatized others too.

Hell, I tried to watch his romance comp as I've done with Wyll and I barely got past the bite scene. Just to see what all the hoopla was about.

It gave me flashbacks and I cried seeing it. Just as I did with the AA kisses in the kiss update.

He's a very violent man. He is scary. His love is twisted at best, a play at worst.

He wants you because he wants to use you.

And you, the one who loves him. The desperate need to take care of him, to protect him. You are not a bad person for wanting more for a person so hurt. You are a kind caring soul. And you will be hurt if you date an Astarion.

I'm no better, I was a loki fan girl once. I know what it's like to love like Harly Quinn and have it end up getting me hurt.

-🚩🚩🚩🚩♾️/10

Thank you for making it to the end of my rant.

I didn't feel like anyone else felt the way I did about these characters.

Especially Astarion and Wyll.

For a game so companion focused, they really made all the men toxic to all hell.

I'm sorry if I made anyone upset but Astarion really does scare me. I cannot find the appeal.

While I can sympathize with his character, some of his actions don't sit right with me.

I just wanted to say Neil did a great job as a actor.

Astarion made me every emotion under the sun.

That's a lot of range in one character.

And I'm really curious to see if anyone else felt this way too. I know I'm not the only one to feel like Wyll's fake and charming. But does Astarion scare anyone else too?

A Baldur's Gate 3 Rant

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