Toxic Men - Tumblr Posts
Piece Of Meat đ„© (my toxic relationships music video)
bad boyfriend đ€ (my toxic men music video)
Toxic Girl â€ïžâđ„ (my baddie poem reading and 2014 revival collage)
I have a problem and need therapy immediately
Just a reminder to the ladies out here that if it feels wrong it probably is. TRUST YOUR GUT. You have instincts for a reason and ignoring them for a manipulative man is not what love is.
You DO NOT have to stick around to find out exactly in what new, exciting, and clever way heâs gonna hurt you. Itâll be exactly as excruciating as you can imagine.
I'm tired of toxic men being romanticized.
I'm not going to name characters because
A. This applies to all media (books, video games, movies, comics, TV shows, and music.) I'm calling out the toxic tropes/harmful messages portrayed as a whole. If the shoe fits, it probably does. I'm not writing this with one character in mind. Rather the constant characterization of toxic men bring redeemable and worthy of being romantizied.
B. I don't feel like getting harassed. Some people feel very strongly about their favorite character and that's ok. But it's not ok when people are attacked by fans for trying to look at the character through a media literacy lens. Also people are free to have opinions and hate/dislike a character. I have favorite characters that people hate, are evil, or just vibe with that others don't. As long as we can all be respectful towards the critics and fans, we should be able to create a healthy discussion.
With all that said, I hate the constant romantization of abusive, emotionally distant, dangerous, violent, and assaulting men. It's very common for heterosexual and sometimes gay relationships portrayed in media. It's more common in hetro relationships compared to gay but I rarely see the same kind of troped in media with lesbian relationships. I can think of hundreds problematic Hetero examples, about 10 gay couples, and only a few bad lesbian relationships.
This typically falls on the male love interest. There doesn't seem to be a equivalent rate of toxic portrays on the female love interest.
I'm not against showing toxic relationships as long as they are not romantized. But it seems almost all hot fictional male characters seem to be assholes who have a tragic backstory. From bad boys with daddy issues, to vilians of cosmic proportion, to Mafia bosses, princes, and heirs, everything is a trauma response. He's stalking you? Well he lost his first love so its just him being protective. He's yelling? He grew up in a home where he didn't feel heard. He's hitting you? He didn't mean too, you just annoyed him. He assults you? Oops, you were just so tempting. He couldn't help himself.
As a AFAB person, I find this to be completely horrifying. It's not just in dark romances, it's in all media. These toxic men are constantly being coddled, justified, and protected as "just a fantasy". Well, these fantasies contribute to rape culture, victim blaming, and the normalization of abuse.
When we criticize male authors writing women in a harmful few of the male gaze, it's because we recognize that when young men see women constantly portrayed as submissive, weak, sexual conquests, and in conforming to misogynistic ideals, we understand that this will influence how these young men will treat their future female peers, girlfriends, and wives.
We recognize the constant sexist and sexual objecification of women harms women because it reinforces harmful messages to men about how a woman should act and what to expect when a woman acts out of line.
So why as soon as someone points out how toxic a male character is, it's met with disgust, accusations of being a incell, and anti feminist? Especially when it's a booktok love interest, many object that it's sexist to critize women loved media.
Women deserve to have healthy relationships! Bob and Linda from Bob's Burgers. Philp and Claire from Modern Family. Jake and Amy from Brooklyn 99. Why can't we push push these types of relationships more? Where we show how healthy people resolve conflict, how love is supposed to be supported, and especially let's show how men should respect women in relationships.
Young Women viewing these "dark romances" will internalize these harmful messages and this will affect their relationships. If it's normal for most romances to portray men as violent, aggressive, and disrespectful, then young women will accept this as a norm. It harms the plight of women as these stories continue to reinforce harmful misogynistic messages. Women deserve better.
sorry, did you say,
âtoxic, dangerous, sexy af and could probably kill me at any given moment if they wantedâ?
âŠ
Priscilla Presley
no one is disagreeing tho
