I Have To Say, @exploringplanetearth Are Knocking It Out Of The Park Atm With My Preferred Colour Scheme...

 I have to say, @exploringplanetearth are knocking it out of the park atm with my preferred colour scheme...

 The last time my parents helped me move house my mother looked around my partially-packed flat and said half-thoughtfully, half-bewildered,

“Have you ever considered....not buying books..?”

Person: You need to stop buying books.

Me: no I don’t

Person: there is no space in your room for them!

Me: I need more bookshelves!

Person: you’re hoarding them.

Me: I’m collecting them

My last tutoring place of the evening sent me home with a mango as a sort of combined iftar / sorry-for-cancelling-the-next-three-weeks-of-lessons gift but it was really ripe and I was scared to put it in my bag as it would squish so I was walking down the Whitechapel Rd and then sitting on a bus just sorta... gingerly clutching a single small mango.

Ramadan observations -

* “I know our lesson’s usually at 3pm but can we make it 1pm for this month? I just... I just really need my afternoon nap.”

* *two guys washing a car, one hurls a bucket of water over the top that splashes into the face of the other* “Bruv! Aw, maaan! That went in my mouth, man! I swallowed that! You broke my fast, man! Aw, screw you bruv, I may as well just go get a sandwich now. Gonna eat it right in front of you, man.”.

* Evening train; within the space of about 30 seconds something like five separate phone alarms go off in our one carriage. A little old Bengali woman immediately dives into her big bag, cracks open a huge tupperware of dates and starts offering them around to everyone within reach regardless of race, creed or colour. I don’t even particularly like dates but I take my three because it seems to make her happy.

Workmen Spending Some Time in the Building:

Day 1: Good morning, I am thebuni, the principal keyholder. If you need anything while you’re here please do feel free to call me. Let me show you to the kettle.

Day 3: Someone else let you in? Cool, thanks for the lie-in. Why yes, these are my favourite p’jim-jams.

When I did my teacher training, one of the first things they made very clear to us was this: we’re not here to teach you subject matter. Not brilliant at your maths, English, sciences? You’re on your own. We’re here to teach you how to teach. And I am immensely grateful because:

I just BLAGGED my way through AN HOUR AND A HALF of 1-to-1 GCSE Physics I know NOTHING about electromagnetic formulae I was speed-reading the kid’s study guide UPSIDE DOWN while TALKING VAGUE ELECTRICAL BOLLOCKS.

<wheeze>

I think I’m going through one of those near-death-experience natural highs...