Teachers - Tumblr Posts

Life Tip #31

does your teacher want you to turn in notecards on top of everything else you have to do? get back at them by fucking bLINDING THEM WITH THE BRIGHTEST NEON SHIT YOU GOT! YOU WANNA SEE MY DEFINITION OF AGRIBUSINESS? IT’S ON A TRAFFIC CONE, HOPE YOU ENJOY HELL

Life Tip #42

a comprehensive list of people that everybody should fear!

people who bite into popsicles immediately after they take them out of the freezer 

people who eat soft grapes without hesitation 

people who drink orange juice immediately after brushing their teeth

anyone who willingly wakes up at five in the morning in A GOOD MOOD

people who reach straight into an oven without an oven mitt and don’t even flinch when the tray makes contact with their bARE ASS SKIN

anyone who can put their hair up in a perfect ponytail in 20 seconds or less without using a mirror bc they are witches. all of them.

literally anybody who wears a strapless bra bc those are brave ppl who are not afraid to fuck !! you !! up !!

anybody who can draw a straight line without a ruler

anybody who can draw perfect circles with one go bc they are the evolved version of the straight line and probably have an iq of 500 and a burning desire to destroy the world

people who have more than five phone numbers memorized in this day and age, like honestly i don’t even remember if i ate breakfast today what the fuckkkk

people who let you scroll through their camera roll without standing over your shoulder and panicking, they have either nothing to hide or nothing to fear and idk which one’s worse

anybody with the courage to read 50 shades of grey in public, level of apathy is 1000000

people who jump immediately into a pool without dipping their toes in first

arrogant first chair violinists who do the “tch tch” thing all the time and are probably plotting the entire orchestra’s demise

anybody who has ever worked in retail and survived bc they have already been in the seventh level of hell and told it “thank you for shopping with us today!”

people who wing recipes, like are you sure you’re not a horcrux of gordon ramsey’s soul

incredibly successful couponers. could probably buy their way into heaven with a 50% off all their sins coupon that expires in a day.

croc wearers. sock and sandal wearers. people who wear socks and crocs. no explanation needed

anybody who eats a kit-kat without breaking it in half

google phone users. they are far beyond what our tiny human brains could ever comprehend

teachers who can recognize every single one of their students’ handwriting. could probably forge their way into steve job’s bank account and he’s dead

Life Tip #51

with dooms week nearing every student, it becomes more and more important to recommend ways of procrastinating that make it f e e l like you’re doing something productive!

watch award-winning documentaries eith oscars that you can vaguely connect to your final essay even though the two topics are completely unrelated and you are trying to convince your teacher you’re educated through abstraction of the fifth dimension

make a plan to study!! and a plan to make your plan!! and then a plan with friends to study!! and then not actually end up studying because none of your friends replied on the groupchat

learn to cook a new recipe! even if you don’t pass your exam, at least you can eat your green bean casserole that you added extra virgin olive oil to and cry!!

find a sugar daddy! since you’re going to inevitably fail, it makes sense to set up a financial plan for the future anyway.

pack your bags and journey off on a romantic and dramatized pursuit of happiness through an obscure town with 1000 residents or less and then write a best-selling novel about it when you’re done, mocking a capitalistic and classist society!!

build a castle out of raisins, become a meme sensation, wind up on ellen, and be gifted with a lifetime supply of raisins that aid you in your quest for power

handwrite every word in your textbook onto a canvas and pass it off a surrealism to a doubtful art collector

create a youtube channel dedicated to filming dogs walking and call it stress relief

Life Tip #52

how to pass your finals:

get off tumblr first, dipshit

My goal in every creative writing assessment is to make the markers sob and wish they never set the damn thing.

I think I've reached half of that goal.

Considering, my teacher mentioned in passing that he teared up reading it and that he wanted to make sure I had spoken to a professional about the subject of the poetry submitted.

I reminded him it was all imaginative (a lie), to which he pulled me aside to say that no one writes about those kinds of things with that amount of emotion without personal experience.

@iroissleepdeprived Tell them next week when pasing order what do you want to be called by (name and pronouns), My real name is a composed one and so are my surnames and they always get it wrong, so many mixes and changes, one time I was called Juana Antonia, my god It's not even close TT . Hahahaha. So yeah tell them next time and hope for the best!.

Looking back to Thursday when I had the opportunity to tell my new English teacher my name is Iro but I got nervous and told him to refer to me by my deadname and non-preferred pronouns. Haha.

On Mildly Childish Feuding

so I had to go through all my old graded papers tonight because one of my college apps requires a graded, analytical paper from an english class either this year or last year, and we haven't written anything really this year. [you know, except the god awful 12 page book thingy that's due tomorrow.] so I had to go through and look at the lack of feedback I got, and the pretentious attached to the feedback i did get, and see my old teacher's loppy smiley handwriting I always wanted to punch in the face when I came to a realization:

I still really, really have problems with my English teacher from last year.

i have reasons, but i think i'm mainly just radiating a massive wall of dislike and intolerance for smugness. i disliked her as a teacher and a person, and it wasn't like i did poorly in her class or anything. i just hated, hated, going to that class every day. and now I have to use one of the fucking papers she barely graded so that i can get into college. assuming i have a chance at getting into college. since I ignored her advice to only take two ap classes.

Anyways, this kind of solid, personal and professional dislike is an awful reflection on me. I don't know what my problem is with being a bigger person but I just cannot get past my anger and unhappiness. Which is dumb, cause anything I have that kind of emotion towards gets power over me. So I just never see her and call it good and when people ask me how she is as a teacher I tell them to ask someone else because I am in no place to make an analysis that agrees with the majority of students.

wow i look like a wreck

Me: hey Dr. Professor Lady just double checking I did the graph right before I turn it in :)

My professor: Looks great :)

Several days later

My grade = 0

My teacher: the graph was wrong :)

I’ve been tutoring some kids… remind me to never pursue teaching this is a message to my future self

My god im so late for the drawtober, but i just have so much stuff to do that i decide to just not do it, i mean, where do i start? And its tooooooo boring. Plus school dont leave me enough time, bc i wake up around 6-7 or 8, not even waking up at 2 do i get to do much. Like and at night i am too tired and i cant stay up late bc my mom gets mad at me if i do. I can only stay up late if im doing homework, and that sucks bc i could do so much stuff at night. I study in the afternoon wich i had never done before in my life, and let me tell you being colombian and going to school in the afternoon SUCKS. Its hot like hell, your classmates are very loud, and you don't understand shit of what the teacher is saying, and in order to get home you have to take a bus that can barely fit anymore people that you have to literally hang yourself on the door and the god dam trafic just makes it even longer and you could get robbed at that hour or kidnapped bc your school is in a dangerous neighborhood. I really really dont like my school. But i like the teachers! They are so smart and fun to talk to, i have a favorite teacher that treats me like his son. Like this one time i has a bleeding wound on my finger and he went to the store to get me some bandaids and he also bought me a banana.

I'd really like to go to the beach with my best friend but my mom doesn't like him. So everytime we hang out i have to fake that im going to see someone else and meet him in secret. And it's not cool at all bc im always stressed (i don't usually do stuff like that, plus is risky bc my mom is always calling me and telling me to send photos and bc im a "good kid" And never do stuff that i shouldn't do or that i know can get me in trouble.

Me looking at my teachers trying to tell me he'll deduct marks for not doing an assignment that isn't even included in my grades.

this is basically a short story i had written so yeah

I was about to sneak out when suddenly I heard a whisper in my ear saying "300". My blood ran cold, my heart missed a beat,the hairs on the back of my neck stood up, as if they were marching in to a war..

I tried to calm down,and distract by telling myself that it was a hallucination but in my heart I knew it was not..The legend was true..

Andrea Stevens,the infamous imprudent girl who was once a high-schooler here..comitted homicide here,and it's said that she now roams around the corridors at night screeching and screaming.

I braced myself for the screams,but instead I heard a raspy voice telling me the answers to my homework,one by one it recited all the answers.

I was surprised but dared to not question it, for who would want to anger a ghost..I quickly noted them all down next to my already written answers which I simultaneously started to erase ..After the last answer she disappeared..without a single explaination ..

I was so shocked that I don't hear the teacher entering the room.

"Looks like you finished" she said.

"Yes" I answered when what I really wanted to say was "Yup I have finished it a long time ago,but you have been so busy making the restroom your habitat,you probably didn't notice",but I didn't say that for I didn't want to stay any more time in this creepy classroom than I already had.

"Okay,let's check those answers then you do for know that if you are wrong you have to do it again" she said with a smirk as she took the book lying idly on the table;as she started to correct the answers,I saw the smirk slowly disappear from her face. .

She gave me the book back with a frown. .

"You can go now" she said..

I quickly obliged her order,and grabbed my bag and set out the gleaming door.When out I whispered a thank you,to my utter surprise,I heard a whisper in my ear saying "Your welcome"..

I feel Andrea Stevens would be the emo goth girl like the one from tiktok you know.

so yes

What I wish more people understood is that art is like cooking. Not everyone needs to be a great chef but everyone should cook to some extent. It is required to put fuel into our bodies, and we have to prepare that fuel. Same with exercise. A lot of people understand that regular exercise is part of a healthy life, that doesn’t necessarily mean that they are athletes.

But it feels like most people don’t apply this perspective to art. Just because you are not an “artist” doesn’t mean that you should not be creating something that feeds your soul. It can be paper clip crafts, or doodles in your notebook, or knitting or LITERALLY WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT but please for the love of God do SOMETHING.

I think it starts with our art teachers exclaiming confidently that everyone is an artist. While I understand the intention behind it, I feel like it alienates people who don’t feel artistic, or aren’t particularly skilled and they end up frustrated. Not everyone is an artist in the sense that they have the mindset and technical skills to make meaningful pieces, but everyone should be a creator of some sort. It feeds that need in your soul, and just like food and exercise are part of a healthy body, so is art.

Human nature is to make crappy art and embroider crappy designs onto your clothes and finger paint and make a mess. All prehistoric cultures have instances of art dating as far back as tools and cooking, and it is just as vital to civilization as the things that keep us breathing. What’s the point of living without feeling alive.

untitled abstract acrylic on canvas board by Me (2021)

I hate it when teachers blame the previous teachers, like for some stuff I figure it's their fault but then the new teachers are like, "what you don't know this your previous teacher was supposed to teach you!! What did she do!'

Prof who take lectures over time I don't like you

A kid once asked me a question in class and my answer was “Huh. Good one. Don’t know. I’ll check and get back to you.” The Deputy Head observing me devoted half the debrief after to this amazing occurrence, mostly in genuine shock and disbelief.

KIDS NEED TO KNOW IT’S ALL RIGHT TO NOT KNOW, and that the answer is to go look it up and find out. Whether you’re a teacher / parent / youth worker / whatever, if you interact with kids at all please, PLEASE admit that you don’t know everything. And then worry less about teaching them Stuff, and instead teach them how to learn.

one time in sixth grade i did my math homework and then because i was excited that i had grasped the lesson so well, i did the next day’s homework too

the next day in class i told my teacher, and she looked constipated for a second, and then said dismissively, “well, then you’re not very good at following directions, are you.”

When I did my teacher training, one of the first things they made very clear to us was this: we’re not here to teach you subject matter. Not brilliant at your maths, English, sciences? You’re on your own. We’re here to teach you how to teach. And I am immensely grateful because:

I just BLAGGED my way through AN HOUR AND A HALF of 1-to-1 GCSE Physics I know NOTHING about electromagnetic formulae I was speed-reading the kid’s study guide UPSIDE DOWN while TALKING VAGUE ELECTRICAL BOLLOCKS.

<wheeze>

I think I’m going through one of those near-death-experience natural highs...

Math teachers are just built different. I once had a math teacher who drank an entire mug full of white board eraser before realizing that it wasn't coffee

She came back the next day, unfazed by the fact that she nearly died

The only thing she was upset about was the unfortunate fact that she missed a date while she was in the hospital

I broke up with one of my friends who had no sympathy for her and even said that he wished he had gotten to see her when she started puking

That same year the english teacher was pregnant for half the year and on maternal leave the other half