Im Sorry For Admitting This Here Instead Of In Person

I’m sorry for admitting this here instead of in person

Sometimes I cannot wait for the point where everyone will go off to uni/jobs/further life and I’ll finally be given the space to die.

being self aware suuuucks like yeah this thought pattern/behavior is stupid and pointless and a symptom. i know this. [does it anyways

There’s something in the way

I don’t know how to leave

Still hanging on the periphery

In case your deliberate choice

Could somehow be a mistake

You’d welcome me back with open arms,

All sins forgiven,

Unlikely I know 

None of us are christian

But I follow my namesake

It's what got me here in the first place

I know I need to say goodbye 

I keep hoping for one more try 

Useless and loathed

An empty sack of clothes

Pathetically desperate

To fill this gaping hole

I reserved for this group 

Thinking I’d always have a place

No good deed unpunished

So you spat that family in my face

I don't know what I did

Most of you aren’t talking

Maybe I’ll never know 

I should excise this cursed attachment

Properly turn to those

Who truly see me

Who don't claim to understand,

Using knowledge from books,

But instead offer a supporting hand

Doing what’s needed, when it’s needed

No more empty promises

(Please, my back can’t take another knife)

All I need to do

I learn to trust again

That’s all

Compass

There’s no going back to where we were

I’ve nearly accepted that now

We both chose different paths after that night

Except you didn’t tell me

Let me happily wonder down the way

Following, parallel, so close I didn’t notice

That you were forging on ahead

Turning away apparently without

A backwards glance

I can’t forget you, that’s the real tragedy,

My path is still paved with our shared stones

I copy your inflections

You’re so deeply etched

In the grooves of my mind

That I still can’t fully accept

My new people

I keep a space in my heart free for you

Though I know you’re not turning back

I had my chance and blew it

So now your departure compels me

Closer to the edge

I’d rather die than have to face

A world in which we never shared

My compass still calls you home

But I will never again call you safe

I gave you my knife

You stabbed me in the back

As soon as I showed signs

Of fracturing completely

I told you I was going to die

And you told me to wait

wait until it was more convenient

To finally see my fate.

Gideon: I don’t know how you have your foot in your mouth, your head up your ass, and your nose in my business. But here we are, you fucking wizard.

I feel confident enough to post these now. A collection of all the existing posters after some edits from the other post that got 13k notes! These are full size/quality. Go nuts.

You may use them for wallpapers, tabletop campaigns, whatever. Consider tipping me or buying a print or sticker on ko-fi here! If you do use them, let me know what for, or send pictures!