When Theres A Small Park Next To The Pool, You Can Bet Your Ass Were Going On That Swing Set.

When there’s a small park next to the pool, you can bet your ass we’re going on that swing set.

WaaaaaaaAAAAAALLLLLLLLLlllllLLLLLkkkkkKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Nah man, then why are all the dogs still here?!

Maybe the rapture already happened but nobody was actually a good enough person to be taken away.

Weather: 70 degrees, windy, rainy, thunder and lightning is happening

Me: (calls manager of pool) Hey, so there’s no one coming to the pool today because of the thunder and rain, so can we pack up?

Manager: Nah, it might clear up

Weather: *thunnders and does lightning at the exact moment*

Me: Uh, you sure about that? Like there’s a lot of rain-

Manager: Nahhh, it’s gonna clear up in ten. And plus, it’s over 70 degrees, so y’all are staying open.

Me: *giving the ‘bitch what?’ face at the phone* *is wearing a bikini as I am a lifeguard* *is getting very cold*

Me: Okay, guess I’ll just die then.

Now when characters in movies do ‘CPR’ I look at their technique. And when they say ‘it’s not working!’

Me: Well that’s because you’re not doing it right unless you hear/feel ribs cracking...

Movie: what do wE dOoOO???

Me: you’re literally just tapping his chest. You gotta like, punch your palms into their chest.

Movie: (feeling the wrong part of the neck) i dOnT fEeL a PuLsE!!!!

Me:You’re supposed to feel the side of the neck with the VeInS fAm

Movie: They’re gone... they’re dead...

Me: NOT IF YOU DO THE CPR RIGHT!!!!!

Movie: There was nothing we could do...

Me: There 👏was 👏plenty👏you👏could👏do👏

And this whole post started as me just wanting my dad to come home when he’s supposed to, and venting about what the skipper told him was happening (theoretically, if they were to return home early) But then you had to go on and start with the name calling, and just unwise remarks. So maybe for future reference, if it’s not constructive, as your accusations of me being a clown in a disgraceful way, then maybe keep your trap shut and let people go about their business. So really-

Hey, real fuckin quick:

My dad is in the military, Navy to be specific. He is out at sea right now. He and my mom had been messaging back and forth for a while, so when she asked if he was coming home (jokingly) he said, even if they were turning the ship around, the tugboats would have to pull them into dock.

But the thing is, he’s supposed to be coming home soon in the first place, before Trumps shit show.

The Tugboat workers are federal employees, who, because of the government shit down( my phone auto corrected from ‘shut’ to ‘shit’, but I saw no real difference, so we’re keeping it.) aren’t working. But my point is, someone else’s mom or dad in the Navy/Military can’t come home right now because the federal workers aren’t there. And damnit, I miss my dad, and I’m sure there are plenty of kids and teens who miss their parents too.

So if Trump doesn’t get his shit together and take control of his fucking party, bitch, imma go to DC myself and fuck some shit up. Because if the tugboats aren’t being operated, he and the crew will have to sit somewhere in the water off shore, and wait for who-knows-how-long. And just for a heads up to anyone who didn’t know, regular military workers like my dad, aren’t getting paid till this is over.

And honestly, it’s fucking despicable how CHIP and DACA (two amazing, life saving programs) are being held hostage by Mich McCoward and the other republican representatives. Fuck them. Honestly. They could have funded either of those at any given time, but they didn’t because they want to hold a part of the American population hostage unless their wishes to deport Mexican-American citizens are met.

I really fucking hate the American political system right now. And I don’t see why any reasonable person would approve of anything the Republicans are trying to pull right now.